I am a pagan and not a horse

Fuck you---I am Cat---I will play with anyone I want to.

Some days, you just have to say that "A white horse is not a horse."

And this is proving to be one of those months...I have yet to see a day on the blogosphere where it does not apply.

For those of you who are tuning in late, there is an campaign going on another blog that is based on the bear trap of "If you agree with anything that I say, then you have to agree that my entire world view is true." It is one of the reasons that I dislike the blogger in question; they use this bear trap all the time.

(Over the years, my dislike of this person has grown based purely on their public actions. It is probably just a personal problem.)

It must be nice to live in a black and white universe where there are only heroes and villians, the good guys and the crooks. It must be even nicer to be able to tell the difference between the two camps. Myself, I live in a shaded universe without no clear cut definitions of right and wrong, no clear cut difference between perfect and imperfect.

The most amusing part is that the line between good and evil they seem to be using is whether you are pagan or not. If you belong to a society that was Christian-only any time in its entire history, then you are evil. Gee, one should burn their Rosicrucian union card, shouldn't they?

This is coming from a convert to paganism (sometime after 1995). I think that they might be in their anti-Christian phase. I expect them to now run around cleaning up all evidence that they are a convert to paganism---they periodically scrub their past history to fit their current set of arguments. For instance, they would rather scrub the fact that they were members of certain groups rather than say, "Gee, that was a really bad decision in hindsight."

Now, I have been a life-long pagan. In fact, I have been a life-long Wiccan.

Maybe I should give some context here. My father was a Catholic, and my mom was something else (one of those Christian groups that really frowns on the Catholic Church). Based on the research I have done, my family on my father's side at some point converted to the Catholic Church. It seems that side of the family might have originally been Jewish.

Given the difference in opinion about religion between my parents, it was decided that I would be raised without a religion. So the only exposure to Christianity I recieved during childhood was a few children story books focused mainly on the Old Testament (or maybe it is because I only read the Old Testament stories).

But I was exposed to a religion as a kid---my dear aunt was a Wiccan of the Gardnerian stripe. It didn't help that my mom believed in reincarnation and astrology. So when I say that I have been a life-long Wiccan, I am serious.

I came out of the broom closet in 1978 when I was thirteen. The timing of this decision was a very bad idea in hindsight. As a result of coming of the broom closet, a strong attempt was made to "save my soul."

It was the attempt to save my soul and the attitudes of certain Christians that caused me to go through a rather long period where I was anti-Christian. Either that or I spent an extended time period being a teenager.

My anti-Christian period is matter of public record. If one is curious about how bad my anti-Christian bias got, feel free to read the last article contained in Four Cornerstones (available for free on Smashwords).

I was still in my ant-Christian phase when I first encountered Golden Dawn. And I was still allowed into the Order. I somehow convinced them, despite my charming personality, to invite me into Inner Order. Of course, in all fairness, this was a branch of the tradition that gave an earlier AO claimed-descent group the bird.

So I am one of those Golden Dawn members that was told "If you are not a Christian, you have to be willing to study Christian symbolism." And I said Ok.

Later on, I was briefly a member of the Thelemic Golden Dawn, a fact that I have not hidden either. And this was despite the fact that I do not completely believe in the Book of the Law. This may or may not make me a Thelemic. (I don't consider myself a Thelemic, but there are a couple of Thelemics who do---it is one of the reasons my lodge does not have an anti-Thelema rule in Outer Order. Inner Order does, but it is a "You have to make a choice between Orders rule"---it would apply equally to someone who had a membership in the HOGD/AO or the MOAA as it does to the AA and OTO.)

Of course, I am hoping that this is just an anti-Christian phase that I am seeing. I fear that it is just another attempt to get the rest of us to acknowledge that the person in question is the greatest Golden Dawn magician and leader of all time. (Ok, I know that statement is wrong, but it is how I tend to read most of his tactics---it is the only end goal that makes sense of half of his statements.)

So I am in a position where I am reading his current line of arguments and thinking to myself:

"Gee, I was Golden Dawn before someone took out their trademark. And honestly, the SRIA has never said a single word to me about what I am currently doing. In fact, I am not even sure that the SRIA is aware of me...outside of one individual who likes funny cat pictures. And honestly, if the pagans are allowed to study their esoteric mysteries in private and restrict their membership to fellow and lady believers, shouldn't the Christians be allowed to study their own mysteries in private also? As for the threat of a group gaining full control over Golden Dawn, I am more worried that a dog lover may succeed."

Personally, I am more worried about certain politicians and their "Christians are being attacked" nonsense. That line of thought could make it unpleasant for all of us.

And now some content for the "A white horse is not a horse" comment. I am studying Chinese Philsophy and Religion at the moment. The Logician School (Ming-Chia or Ming-Pien) thought that there needed to be an one on one correspondence between words and reality. What the word "white" describes has nothing to do with horses; and the word "horse" is not describing a color---and if it sounds stupid, well, there is a reason why this school of Chinese philosophy disappeared after the Flowering of a Thousand Schools period.

I used it because it was fresh in my mind, and it is like saying that "A Golden Dawner in the SRIA is not a Golden Dawner." Of course, the fact that I believe this will be used as proof that I am not a member of a true Golden Dawn Order. And so it goes.

Remember Elvis loves you.

Differences between the Cicero version of the Outer Order oaths and other self-initiation oaths

There are some slight differences between the oath of obligations presented by Chic and Sandra Tabatha Cicero in their book Self-Initiation Into the Golden Dawn Tradition and those presented by other self-intiation systems.

For instance, Donald Michael Kraig (in the first edition of Modern Magick---Eleven Lessons in the High Magickal Arts) adds "[I promise] to keep secret all of my occult knowledge from any and all whom I deem unworthy due to their evil intents or lying ways. I undertake to prosecute with zeal the study of occult sciences for the betterment of myself and the betterment of all humanity."

Furthermore, Kraig changes the penalty for breaking the oath to "I realize that should I willfully break this, my magical oath, that I shall be known as a perjuring wretch, void of all moral worth and unfit for the society of all right and true persons. Furthermore, should I break this, my magicakal oath, may my weapons turn against me or turn to dust, and may all of my magick and rituals be for naught, so help me the Lord of the universe and my own higher soul."

Kraig pointed out that the preceeding ritual that this oath is from is actually a "self-dedication" and not a self-initiation.---MDE 4 Feb 2011

There are also some interesting things in the Adept Minor "self-obligation" oath that he provides. The most interesting is probably "I will not claim to be anything more than I am, a student of the magickal way of life, light, love and freedom. Not being an initiate of an Order, I will not initiate anyone."

Another oath that has some differences from the Cicero version is the one from the Thelemic Golden Dawn. The part that leaps out is the fact that one will keep "all real secrets and true mysteries" of the TGD safe.