Today's miracle index (31-HP Day 20)

Chances of rapture occurring
Same as Ragnarok today
Chances of raining bacon
One in egg-zillion

Hell becoming colder
Than a witch's tit
About the same
As Nifelhelm warming up
To a tepid cup of tea

Politicians getting along
And doing their jobs
What exactly are politicians
Supposed to be doing anyways?

Odds of raining frogs
And seas of boiling blood
Equal to California sinking
And Atlantis rising upwards

Jewish messiah knocking
At thy door unlikely
As is the odd chance
That an UFO will land
And find intelligent life

As for me finishing
That damn overdue article
And sending it to the editor
The chances of that
Are equally dim today

Splitting the timeline (Tarot Blog Hop)

A Tarot spread for when you have multiple possible courses of action.

Welcome to the Yule 2012 Tarot Blog Hop. If you are reading this, then the world did not end yesterday...and it is time to consider what you are going to do with the coming year.

If you are doing the Tarot Blog Hop, then odds are you just came from Fool Stop--the official blog of U.S. Games (oh yeah, the kind people who supply us Tarot readers with almost half of our Tarot decks...or maybe that is just me). If you are one of my regular readers, then you probably arriving here from St. Andrew's Academy and Library for Misplaced Spells, where initated secrets go to hide.

Now, if you are anything like me, the start of a new year makes you look at certain things in your life, things that need to be dealt with. For me, this coming year is all about the writing and certain other creative endeavors. But I do have a certain problem--there are so many projects to deal with, or that I could be doing, that I am not sure what project needs to become my priority.

In an ideal world, I would have access to a time machine and I would hop into the future to peek at which one I did. And being a Virgo, I would also want to look at several alternate timelines. I don't want to just blindly pick an option, or settle for just one. No, I want to know what all the options were and their respective outcomes. Did I mention that I am a Virgo? A Virgo that just happens to be a science fiction fan?

Anyways, I do not have access to a time machine...this makes me sad.

But I do have access to a magical tool that does allow me to peek into the future, and to weigh multiple courses of action. Yes, that is right--I am about to abuse a Tarot deck in a weird time splitting experiment.

I call this spread--The Time Split, for it allows one to see possible outcomes for multiple options and choices of behavior. It involves at least eight cards for two possible options, with additions of three cards apiece for each additional option beyond the initial two.

The first card of the spread is the current situation (this card can be either randomly choosen or pre-selected). The second card (random draw) provides more information about the current situation.

It is the third card that we start to deal with the various options that are open to us; the "option" cards (3rd, 6th, and so forth) can be either randomly choosen or pre-selected--the choice will depend on how clear you are about possible options available. (A clear-cut list is better dealt with using pre-selected cards; if one has no clue what options are available, randomly drawn cards are the way to go.) The third card (as well as the 6th, and so forth) represent one possible course of action.

The fourth and fifth card (as well as 7th and 8th, and so forth) are randomly drawn.

The fourth card represents additional information about the option in question. In the case of a randomly drawn Option card, it might help verify the option. In the case of pre-selected Option card, it might call attention to complications that Option would require in order to be implimented.

The fifth card represents the most likely outcome if the Option is taken. Always bear in mind that this outcome depends upon the implimentation of the Option under consideration. Also remember that the very act of looking at a possible future changes the future.

Cards three, four and five represent one Option. Cards six, seven and eight would represent a second Option. One can add additional rows of three cards to cover additional Options. (My experience says to limit the number of Options to five--anything beyond that tends to be overkill and quite confusing to keep straight. Ideally, it should be two or three Options considered in a reading.)

So there you have it, the Time Split, the Tarot spread that I am currently using to try to figure out the best option for my business to be focused on in the upcoming year. And yes, it probably will involve monkeys (regular readers will understand why).

If you are continuing with the Tarot Blog Hop, your next stop is the blog of Joanna Ash--Sun Goddess Tarot. And if there are any breaks (broken links) in the Tarot Blog Hop, the Master List can be found at This Game of Thrones. My regular readers will go back to annoying the librarian to let them into the forbidden section where all the really good secrets are hidden. Happy Yule, Merry Xmas, and Happy New Year (and whatever other holidays I am forgetting) to everyone!

When to toss traditional lore out

This Viper needs to be taken to the curb.

Something that every working magician will eventually have to wrestle with is the question: When do you toss a piece of lore out of one's system?

(By "working magician," I mean those people who get up off the sofa and spend time actually casting spells and performing magic, rather than just reading about it.)

Now in the traditional hierarchies, the answer is: When your superiors tell you to. Therefore, First Order is ordered by Second Order when to abandon lore and procedures; and in return, Second Order is guided by the Third Order (Secret Chiefs). This answer is all and fine, provided that you are actually in a Strict Obedience/Observance Order, and are willing to take orders.

But most working magicians, or at least the ones that I have dealt with, tend to be lousy at taking orders. And most Strict Observance Orders will rapidly kick out or lose their working magicians. The reason for this is that experience quite often conflicts with "authorized lore" and most Strict Observance are knee-deep in the idea that "authorized lore" is the best, and sometimes only, way to accomplish magical goals.

A few years ago, I was present when a new Strict Observence Order was being started. One day, the subject of Atlantis came up. I stated my opinion that Atlantis was one of those pieces of lore that needed to be kicked to the curb. The leader of the group flatly told me that I was wrong because the GH Frater S used Atlantis in his lessons, therefore it was tradition and had to be included in the system. At this point, I started to look for the escape pod.

(No, I did not leave just over the fact that Atlantis was being included in the system; there was also plenty of administration issues that made me want to bail out of the system.)

Now, in my case, I had good reasons to bolt over the issue of Atlantis. In an earlier group, I had seen the concept of Atlantis being used, and watched the group jump off the rails. Fortunately, there was a working magician at the helm, who rapidly pulled the plug before the group became an outright doomsday cult. Nevertheless, it permanently associated Atlantis with the rancid smell of some lesser evil in my mind.

And unlike the leader, who insisted that I was wrong, I actually had spent some time researching the importance that was attached to Atlantis down though the years. Atlantis was a footnote in Greek mythology and philosophy, something ignored by the esoteric tradition for over two thousand years. It wasn't until the question of why there was similar animals in the New World, as well as human beings and those pesky pyramids arose that Atlantis was dug out of the rubbish bin.

(We all know that human beings have to be told about the concept of stacking rocks on top of one another---it is not like the idea naturally occurs to us when we have plenty of rocks and spare labor at hand.)

Today, we do not need Atlantis to explain the fact that there was plants and animals common to both the Old World and the New World. But there are people who insist that Atlantis cannot be taken out to the rubbish bin...because it is now a part of the official authorized esoteric lore.

(Here is a mystery for you---given the fact that Atlantis was so advanced [the last time I checked they supposely had atomic bombs and lasers, and next year they will be credited with time machines, stargates and warp drives], why haven't we found any plastic from their civilization?)

The bugbear of official authorized lore drives working magicians up the wall. Start talking to people about how to accomplish a magical task, and one finds themselves judged by what the authorized lore says. It does not matter whether or not your method actually works; what matters is whether some old grimoire or famous occult writer agrees with you and your method.

(By the way, working magicians presume if you cite authorized lore as your twenty-four inch rule and do not ask the "special" question that you are not a working magician. And all working magicians know what the special question is.)

There are a whole bunch of occult writers who have been enshrined---some of them are still alive (I hope that they are horrified that they have been enshrined because if they are not horrified, then they are not actually working magicians). A few years ago, I remember a great fuss was being made over this one book (it does not matter which one). At the time, I had no opinion of the book; it wasn't one that I ever worked with. Later on, I did work with the book---if the material was copied, it worked just fine---if it was unique, well, it sucked rocks on toast. The book was enshrined as the only way to accomplish certain things; and quite honestly based on my own results, I doubt that anyone who was busy talking about how great the book was, actually used any of the unique material in the book. In the end, I used other methods to accomplish the same goals.

And yes, I know, I know---just because the material did not work for me does not mean that it was not the proper way to do things. After all, we all know that I am complete and utter plotz without no respect for traditional and properly authorized esoteric lore. But I am a working magician, and the method I use to determine if some lore or magical prodecure remains in my tool box is RESULTS. If it does not work for me, I take it out to the curb and leave it by the rubbish bin. Of course, that habit makes me very unwelcome in the Strict Observance to the Shrine of Official Authorized Occult Lore circles. But that is ok, I prefer to do my drinking in the company of working magicians.

2012 Doomsday Disclosure Notice

Just a heads-up to everyone that I am jumping on the 2012 doomsday wagon. As of yesterday, you had just one year left to live. Bwahahahaha! Over the next year, I will be reminding you of your decreasing time left.

It is not that I actually believe that the end of the world is coming on December 21, 2012; it is that jumping on the bandwagon allows me to write a series of survival posts. I mean how else would I justify writing about MREs? helpful skills? other great doomsdays? It is either hop on the bandwagon or completely ignore these juicy topics.

And we all know that I am not going to be the only blogger doing so. It is just that I will not be calling it a Shift or painting it with any pixie dust. After all, I believe that when doomsday happens, we will have failed to see the asteriod with our name on it. Instant death, no warning, that's a comforting thought, isn't it?

How to survive the 2012 doomsday

Here is a taste of something amusing that I read today---sounds awfully familiar, doesn't it?

Begin quote:

The ancient Mayans predicted the world as we know it will end on December 21st 2012.
What will you do about it? How will you protect your loved ones?

BE A 2012 SURVIVOR!

Wearing the Invisible Mystic Mayan Power Cloak™ gives you guaranteed immunity from the 2012 apocalypse. Survive the Apocalypse in style! Raise your Spiritual Vibration! Begin an Exciting New Life! Master the Power of the Ancients! Harness Unlimited Love, Money & Power! Marvel at the Anti-fungal, Anti-bacterial fabric that makes bathing & deodorant use obsolete! Enjoy Instantaneous Enlightenment! End quote. Hehe. There is more; but I figure that if you want to read the rest of it (and donate some money to support the second best cause of them all---supporting a straving artist), then you can slip over to the website that are "selling" this marvel of doomsday preparedness. Warning: The following link leads to a site that shows the naked shocking truth about what one needs to do in order to survive the 2012 end of the world---never say that I did not warn you. Don't let your annoying boss or co-workers see this. Remember that the most important part of a survival plan is secrecy...and we really do not want certain politicans and CEOs to survive (you are aware that annoying people talk to one another?!). Learn more about the amazing powers of the Invisible Mystic Mayan Power Cloak---you know that you want to. [Link is probably not safe for work.]

Call for Secret Chief Adoption Day

Sometimes, Pat Zalewski cracks me up. Earlier today, or yesterday (depending upon how quickly I type), Pat Zalewski said:

"Heck we can have a [Secret Chief] adoption day- pick one old order at random and our troubles will be gone!"

And I think that this is a really good idea---for the blogosphere---I suggest that all the bloggers who read this post to please consider researching and posting about some obscure and possibly extinct esoteric Order.

Please note, Pat did not say when this magical event should occur---feel free to vote in the comment section---but I am thinking that it should be December 24.

(In case, you are wondering some people say that the Mayan calendar ends on December 24, 2011 and not December 21, 2012...personally, I think we should plan on doing something to celebrate the end of the world that is not going to happen this year and maybe not ever. Bwahaha!)

It is the End of the World

How my cats look when my god-daughter comes to visit.

Breaking News: If you are reading this, then the end of the world didn't happen.

Or maybe it will before the end of the day. I am not really sure when Harold Camping figured out the exact hour to be. Six o'clock, maybe. Is that Jerusalem time? Or California time?

Seriously, me and the cats have a sure-fire end of the world survival plan. It is the same plan we use when my god-daughter comes to visit. We hide. And if she finds us, then we read poetry out loud.

It has worked so far. Why? Simple, both my god-daughter and Jesus hate poetry.

Well, maybe not Jesus. But my god-daughter does---she calls it cruel and unusual punishment.

I call it payback. Rather Norse of me, isn't it?

Now, I have Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" stuck in my head.

Gee, I wish that the end of the world would hurry up; I don't want that song stuck in my head all night.

(Feel free to post your End of the World rituals in the comments section. I will approve them tomorrow...unless the world comes to an end before then; in which case, Jesus will have to moderate your comments---so keep the comments clean. Thank you.)

How the Secret Chiefs will survive the End of the World.

And the worst that happened yesterday



So the day of the Rapture came and went, and I am still here. I guess that means that I am going to have to pay off my student loans someday. My current plan is to become a pirate. (Image is from "Twenty Rejected Books for Pirates"; several of which I found myself saying, "Hey, isn't that a Golden Dawn commentary just waiting to happen"; I know---I am strange.) Not being raptured and facing the eventual chore of repaying my student loans is the worst thing that happened yesterday. I guess my next big hope is December 2012. What? The end of the world is not supposed to happen just to erase my student loan debt? Oy vey. The other thing that happened yesterday was that my Advanced Adept Advisor looked at me and told me that I really need to take a six-month foundational course in a certain subject ("remedial" for those who are not of the politically-correct school of conversation). No, that was not a bad thing. Actually, that was a good thing. I have been saying for months to my fellow lodge members that I really needed to take some time and learn the basics in the topic that I am drowning in. It is partially the fault of a previous lack of personal interest in the topic (as evidenced by my slim library selection); partially the fault of the previous groups that I belonged to (Hathoor Temple thought I was going to set myself on fire; come to think of it, so does Bast Temple); and partially the fact that when I hit that stage of the Inner Order training, I was suffering from some of the heaviest college classes I ever took (this coming semester promises to be an even bigger joy---ahh, the joys of bening non-traditional college student). Yes, I am one of the retarded Adepts---as if you didn't already know. So what the worst that happened to you yesterday?

MTGN Rapture

Yes, it is time for another installment of Magic the Gathering NOT!? the game that is fun for all spiritual grades of attainment. And today, we are allowing the doomsayers to play by introducing one of their favorite cards---the Rapture, an enchantment with a two white mana casting cost. Rapture goes into your graveyard during your upkeep if you control no white creatures; at the end of your turn, you gain one life. But wait! There is an added benefit. For seven mana, all white creatures are removed from the game, no matter whether they are in play, in a hand, in a library, or in a graveyard. No pure thing can hide from the Rapture. Unpure beings, such as those who have additional colored casting costs, upkeep costs, or activation costs are exempt from being raptured; this includes those pesky enchant creature spells. Don't want the unpure from enjoying heaven, now do we? And the real joy of this card is that anyone can activate this creature removal ability; all they need to do is pray and play the activation cost. Inconvenient? Doesn't match your math and announcements? You can prevent the effect by paying just two mana. And so can any other player, which allows you to claim that the timing was not right and it wasn't your fault that the math was wrong. Yes, the Rapture is a card sure to pick up the game for all those true believers. Plus, it is great for cult based decks---just add kool-aid. [Artist's note: the flavor quote, "I would rather ask for forgiveness than premission" is not by the Crowley most occultists know and have been loved by; it is actually the Mark Shepard version of Crowley (a crossroad demon, who became king of hell) from the Supernatural television series. I might be a geek.]

A Doomsday Like Any Other

Every once in awhile, I am on Facebook or one of the Yahoo forums and realize that my belief system is different from other people. That and I have absolutely no manners.

The latest was a discussion about 2012. I stated that I was taking the crisis of 2012 as seriously as I had taken the crisis of Y2K. Basically, I thought it was a good joke.

Needless to say, this upset people: both personally and professionally.

Let me be clear. I have never taken an oath that requires me to tolerate lunatics. If I believe that you are missing the boat, I am allowed to tell you this. There are many people who believe that this is an indication that I am not an Adept, nor will I ever become an Adept. Fine, I don't care.

For instance, if you believe that you are the incarnation of Aliester Crowley, I am going to mock you. And people who go "Well, they could be---therefore you should be nice to them" are just going to have to continue to being displeased with me.

There were some people who were upset with me about how I felt about Y2K, back in 1999. I rapidly decided that Y2K (the year 2000 computer programming bug) was not a problem. For one thing, when I did time dabbling in computer code in the '80s, we knew that it was a possible problem.

At the time, computer memory was an issue. Every little bit of memory you could save was a plus. Today, most of us pay no attention to how much memory a chunk of computer code takes up.

When people got concerned about Y2K, I looked around and saw none of the problems that should be occurring if Y2K was going to be an ugly issue. Talking to my bosses, the joke was that if things got really bad, we would do things the old fashioned way: pen and paper bookkeeping.

And that is why I am not concerned about 2012. I see none of the signs that I would expect from such a world changing event.

I am going to be called blind and ignorant. But I do not think that 2012 is going to be the big event that some people think it is going to be.

There are going to be people that will tell me that I better prepare for it if I want to survive the event. And my answer to them is that everyday is doomsday.

Everyday is doomsday, and 2012 is going to be a doomsday like any other.

You should always be prepared for doomsday. Everyday, you should step a little ways down the road to becoming more spiritual. You should always have emergency supplies.

But you should also know that when doomsday comes, it is going to come like a thief in the night. No warning. No announcement. It is just going to show up.

And given NASA's budget cutbacks, I am betting on big-ass asteriod. It is a little hard to prepare for that one.

[Credit where credit is due: The title of this posting came from a suppliment (adventure) for the FASA Star Trek roleplaying game. Yes, I am a nerd and a geek, besides being a happy little cynic.]

Doomsday Cults

One of the things I roll my eyes at are those people who are worried about the end of the world--the soothsayers of doomsday. The current doom is the end of the Mayan cycle, which ends on 2012. The soothsayers, and their believers, say that the world is going to come to a sudden end in a couple of years.

This particular theory is tied to the shifting of the magnetic poles. The shifting of the poles is a real thing, but it is hardly doomsday. The geological history of the Earth indicates that it has happened before and will happen again. The shifting of the poles, reversing the magnetic field around the Earth, is a minor inconvience, but we do want it to happen.

The mathematic models show that the shifting of the poles will bring the magnetic field of the Earth back up to full strength. This is a desirable thing. Without an eventual shift in the poles, based on the mathematical models, the magnetic field will weaken and disappear completely. That would be bad--rent the movie "The Core" if you want to see how bad it would be.

Personally, I would be more worried about a global economic crisis than I would be about the magnetic shift, but each to their own.

Doomsday are always with us; Revelations is happening everyday. Each of us has our own personal doomsday happening in our lives if we just look hard enough. For me, my doom is typically the next test or term paper that I have to cope with. For me, doomsday is up close and personal.

For many, it is not. And there are groups and fads that cater to them.

Yes, doomsday is catered. I would avoid the deviled eggs. I don't think that the ham is kosher. And who invented the Freemasons to our doomsday. But I disgress.

Yes, there are groups whose purpose is to prepare its members for doomsday. And there is always a new doomsday if it turns out that the previous doomsday was a false alarm.

I have belonged to several border-line doomsday cults. The first coven I belonged to was big on being prepared for a nuclear doomsday. A box of MREs (meals ready to eat--sure to survive a nuclear disaster because no one wants to eat them) and a lot of water was highly suggested, along with knowing where all the fall-out shelters were. Ironically, being prepared for a nuclear disaster ensures that you are prepared for other acts of god.

And when I was in the EOEW, there was the one meeting that drifted into getting ready for Y2K. Do you remember Y2K--the year that the world was supposed to end as all the world's computers crashed. If you want to know what I think of your average doomsday prediction ask me how I coped with Y2K.

Yes, I had some canned food, a small camp stove, and some bottled water. Toni would not allow me to buy a crossbow; in fact, she (like so many others) was appalled to learn that I believe that defending myself with deadly force is a real option in an emergency. Question my ethics all you want; at least I know my stance on how important my life is in comparsion to other random looters. Do you know how much value you place on your skin?

Toni got interested in Y2k late. In my opinion, too late. For her, it was a last minute thing.

I have been interested in doomsday since I was a teenager. Blame it on too much science fiction. In my opinion, you should be prepared to be thrust into the Hall of Judgment at any time. Doomsday will not be announced ahead of time; either will your last trumpet. If you are really concerned about doomsday, live every minute like its your last.

So it was with some amusement that I watched her learn about Y2K. I wasn't worried about Y2k. I had my nuclear stockpile; all I needed to get was a crossbow. It was only due to a lack of money that she didn't help drive up the price of bottled water.

But Toni is also an airhead. One I know who she was listening to (a good fortune teller on a personal level, can't hit the broadside of a barn on the global level); and two, she made some last minute changes in my perfectly good plan. She decided that we were going to stay at her place, not mine. That made my preparations useless. And she still won't let me invest in a crossbow.

For the record, I was not concerned with Y2K. The closer we got to the actual day, the less concerned I became. Why? I know something about programming computers. If Y2K was going to be a problem, we would have seen indications of it long before New Year's Day. I was not worried about the power plants shutting down, or planes falling out of the sky. I, much like my bosses, knew that the real problems of Y2K if any would be monetary.

How did my bosses plan on dealing with Y2K? Simple, they handed me a pencil and a pad of paper. It was a very business approach to doomsday. If doomsday happens, we will cater it.