Beta blockers, depression and me

Some of my regular readers might have noticed that I have been quiet this last month--and not only here, but everywhere, including Facebook and my other blogs and Twitter, and just everywhere. The reason for the silence was that I spent a month living like a zombie, as in my doctor decided to put me on a beta blocker (propranolol). Turns out that I am sensentive to beta blockers--I went from borderline high blood pressure and heartbeat to borderline dangerously low heartbeat and blood pressure...and the damn stuff didn't help prevent the condition that the doctor wanted to try me out on it for--I still got migraines; in fact, certain triggers were a hundred percent surefire ways to suffer (unlike the previous unmedicated coinflip).

Of course, the worst part of it was that getting up in the morning was a chore in itself. One should not get out of breath getting up in the morning. And as my energy levels dropped like a rock, my depression decided to rear its ugly head. I was too tired to even think about doing magic, not alone actually summoning up the energy to attempt to do magic to crawl out of my depression. 

For those who are curious, I am on a waiting list--still have a month and three weeks to go, then I get to see a mental health care specialist and hopefully get to take a fistful of happy pills everyday. (I was put on the waiting list two months ago.)

Along with my depression came the thoughts of ending it all, the part that I am going to pound when I finally do see the mental health care specialist (and no, I do not know how to locate the actual word in the dictionary, not alone properly spell it, and for some reason spellcheck is completely off on this particular web browser). My wife says that I did not smile for a month, which sounds about right. 

The doctor took me off of the beta blocker on Wednesday, and I still feel like crap...but at least I feel like I am improving and can go for more than ten minutes without having to take a rest. And hopefully, I can keep my energy and mood up long enourgh to see the mental health care specialist, and get a big fistful of happy pills. 

And if you would like to light a candle and say a helpful prayer for my mental health, I will gladly accept it. Harmful prayers will be returned to their senders by the automatic wards set around my house. 

Donate to save Kraig

As many of my regular readers know, Donald Michael Kraig, the author of Modern Magick, is suffering from stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Besides magical and healing works being done to help him, there is also a GoFundMe campaign to help raise money to offset his medical bills. If you can, please donate to help the man that has helped many of us on our magical pathway though his books and lectures.


The GoFundMe campaign can be found here.

Reminder and update about healing request for Isaac Bonewits

A reminder that tomorrow across the world, at 9 pm (your local time zone), that Phaedra Bonewits requests that you do healing magic for her husband, Isaac.

"Isaac's tumors fade away. Thirty more years with Phae."



The latest update posted by Phaedra:

Isaac is back in the hospital and is not doing well. He has bleeding from an undetermined source that may not be repairable. We are anxiously awaiting both test results and ritual results. From his hospital bed, Isaac can see the full moon through his window. Our thoughts will be will everyone during tomorrow night's rites.

Healing ritual request for Isaac Bonewits

Phaedra Bonewits has put out a healing request for her husband, Isaac Bonewits (author of Real Magic). Isaac has been fighting colon cancer for quite some time now, and has undergone several rounds of chemotherapy. Unfortunately, he has progressed to the point where he is just not strong enourgh to survive another round of chemo. His doctor has told them that Isaac needs a miracle.

Therefore, Phaedra would like the magical community to kick in the magic and do a "rolling thunder" healing ritual on the night of the full moon, May 27th at 9pm.

A "rolling thunder" ritual, for those who are not ever participated in one, creates an effect like a rolling thunderstorm. The base principle of how to create the effect is well known to ceremonial magicians; quite simply, you do the ritual at 9 pm based on your local time zone. Therefore, the east coast does it at 9 o'clock Eastern; central does it at 9 Central; 9 for those in the Mountain time zone; and yes, 9 o'clock local time for those in the Pacific time zone. The energies roll from one time zone to another.

As for what healing and magical techniques are used, Phaedra does not care. Her only other request, outside of it being done at 9 pm local time is that you use the following chant to link the energies raised: "Isaac's tumors fade away. Thirty more years with Phae."