Is the term House Elf racist? (weird thought of the month)

A few months ago, Bill Maher (Real Time) made a horrible joke that he was a House-N-Word, and the internet lost its collective mind. And ever since the following question has been disturbing me (pretty much on a daily basis): Is the term "House Elf" racist?


My first thought, after I heard what Bill Maher said, was "He should have said, 'House Elf'; it would have been funnier. I would have said 'House Elf.'" My second thought was, "OMG--am I a racist for making House Elf  jokes?!?"


And I make a lot of them. My favorite one is "It is just like being a House Elf without the job satisfaction." My second most used one is "Do I look like a House Elf?"


I would use the "A House Elf must be set free--Master has given Dobby a sock--Dobby is free!!!" joke, except my wife never hands me her dirty laundry; she just leaves it laying around.


I am fairly sure that I would have to explain the last joke to her...because I am a much bigger Harry Potter fan than she is. Then I think that she would roll her eyes at me, and call me "weird."


So is the term "House Elf" racist? Leave your opinion in the comment section, but please bear in mind that I am probably going to continue to make House Elf jokes because it amuses me to do so. For instance, have you heard about the one about the House Elf and the cat litter box...

Funny or not? Political incorrect or not? You decide.



Sounds like Harry Potter (RAEBNC Halloween Kitty)

An useful RAEBNC substitute is "Sounds like Harry Potter." And a lot of people use it on Facebook.

For some reason, people are not happy just recounting the magic as it actually happened.

"I lit the candle using a lighter that took me thirty minutes to find (maybe I should put lighters on the grocery list), did the Lesser Ritual of the Pentagram, screamed the divine names at the top of my lungs, set fire to the poppet, broke circle to shut off the damn smoke detector. Two days later, the Great Gherkin told a story about how someone hexed a tire off the back of a truck, almost smashing his car. Ritual must be marked down as a failure--I was trying to conjure up a new calligraphy set."

Instead they must say, "And the Archangels formed out of the mist as I dis-consecrated the graves of Doctor Dee and Kelly, their eyes tearing up as I chanted perfectly the forty-nine names of God, before sacrificing a baby to make a Horocrux. The ritual was a total success and just proves once again that I am the greatest Rosicrucian Imperator to ever live."

In all such instances, you are allowed, perhaps even required to say that the story teller's tale sounds just like something out of Harry Potter.

Harry Potter is off to quidditch practice on his Nimbus Two Thousand broom.

31 Days of Halloween Kitties Day 9

Sorry the floor will have to remain dirty, I am using the broom.

Can cats use broomsticks to play quidditch? Of course, they can. While this kitty is guilty of not wearing their team jersey...or is it team robe?...he is still sure to catch the Golden Snitch.

I want this broom

Today, I was at Spirit Ways 17th anniversary celebration. And hanging in the window, I saw the bestest broom ever.

It is a Double Sweep Special.

 Isn't is a pretty? A Double Sweep Special edition, perfect for playing quidditch. And if you do not play quidditch, you can always use it to sweep those annoying Secret Chiefs off your front porch, along with the stray crumbs and Jehovah Witnesses.

Just look at those Bristle Exhausts!

Yes, this is the broom I want. Too bad that they have to hang it in the window for all the world to see. But I am not too worried that Harry Potter or any of his school chums will see it first.

Too bad SpiritWays is off-limits to Hogwarts students.

After all, Hogwarts students are not allowed to go to Spirit Ways, something about it being too close to the Pleasures Adult Store next door and the Bluebird Theater. (You gotta love Colfax, don't you? Where else can you have a metaphysical store right next to such entertainments.) We are still trying to find out what Professor McGonagall experienced in the neighborhood that upset her so. Surely, it could not be that bad, right?

Harry Potters Wand

Over on the Golden Dawn Group (yahoo forum), there is currently a discussion going on about wands and their use. Being the clown that I am, most of my thoughts about wands and their use are irrelevant.

Nevertheless, I am going to share some of them with you. Free feel to mock me in the comment section.

Before the current semester started, I was reading the Harry Potter books. In my defense, it is my first time reading any of them past the first two books; and considering that the Fall 2011 senior seminar in Literature is going to be Children Classics for Adults (The Hobbit, A Winkle in Time, Alice in Wonderland, and other books which titles escape me at the moment), I thought I would finish the series before the summer was over (I am only 23% of the way though book 5---Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix---so I do have a ways to go still). And during the course of my reading, I decided that I want Potter's wand (or one of the same family).

While we joke in ceremonial circles (or at least I do), that Harry Potter's wand is a wimpy wand (it is so small)---just look at the stuff that wand can do. My own wand can barely convince the cat to get off the kitchen counter. In fact, my cat thinks that the lotus is good for itching his face against. (I get no respect, I tell you.)

As for the amount of information about wand use that I have picked up in Golden Dawn circles, well before dealing with my current Advanced Adept Advisor, it mainly came from the Thelemic Golden Dawn (which I spent a year in). Or at least, the information that the rest of the Golden Dawn community would find acceptable.

(Hathoor Temple did have some teachings about the wands and their use, but the information is not the type that the rest of the Golden Dawn community embraces. It is one of those times that if you only know Regardie's stuff, then the practices of a working lodge look highly wrong and downright awful.)

Honestly, as I noted in a post to the wand discussion (whether it was true or just a joke is for the reader to decide), I picked up more about proper wand use when I was a kid and studying sleight-of-hand and stage magic. One of the things that has been said in the discussion is that a wand is supposed to be used without thinking about it (you know it so well it is an extension of you). That sums up what a stage magician would say about using a wand, if you ignore the bits about distraction and showmanship.

There is a section in one of the Potter books (it may be in one of the movies also) where part of learning a spell is practicing the proper swishing motion with the wands. Outside of practicing the Lesser Ritual of the Pentagram in a group setting, both in TGD and in a couple of classes at the local occult shops, I have no training in how to "swish" a wand correctly. (Or is it "swosh"?)

My current Advanced Adept Advisor has addressed some of these issues with me. (If you are curious, they belong to the awful and completely wrong version of Golden Dawn, especially if you think Regardie is the only way to do things.) I pass the information onto my lodge (which makes them completely and utterly wrong also).

Another thought about the wands in the world of Harry Potter: the core of the wands contain magical stuff. In the case of Harry's and Voldermort's wands, it is a phoenix feather (both from the same bird). This reminds me of two things.

First, the Golden Dawn Fire Wand which contains an iron rod that is magnetized (if you go by the literature). Second, it reminds me of the liquid condensors of the Franz Bardon school of magic. Make what you will of those two ideas.

My final thought about wands for today is how flashy some of the wands are in the occult shops and on the internet. Crystals wrapped with feathers wired to a tree branch. And all for the sweet price of a couple of hundred dollars. I am sorry...is it a cat toy? Or something else?

(And if you are curious, my wands, like my Enochian Chess set, are runner-ups in the world's ugliest and worst made magical tools. Blame it on me making them myself.)