A thousand five hundred blog posts later (what have I learned as a blogger)

Can you believe that this blog has produced 1500 blog posts since its birth on July 16, 2007?

And not all of them have been cat pictures...but maybe they should have been.

Accountant Kitty has crunched the numbers--you need more cat pictures!

Let's crunch some numbers...

First off, does occult blogging pay? Yes and no. Yes, in the fact that I have gotten money from Adsense, have sold at least one book, and moved a bunch of pottery. No, in the sense that I have made more money with less effort doing other stuff. So don't quit your day job to blog about the occult. Remember that I blog for three reasons...

One, I am a mealy mouthed poopy head.

Two, I like being the center of attention.

Three, I assume that you like my sense of humor.

Pie charts make everything more interesting...

My top ten blog posts account for seven percent of the views that this blog has gotten over the years.

So let's assume that we can learn something from them...

At number one is...

E. A. Koetting, the Living God, a single post about his arrest--which I honestly thought would get about a hundred views and no more--is responsible for a whole two percent of this blog's lifetime traffic. (And a third of my top ten traffic.) Not a month has gone by since it was written that I am not impressed by the traffic it gets.

[It should be noted that I have started to study his business practices--there are lots of "positive" things to learn from his set-up...therefore, more EAK posts are a-coming! Sure, they will not get the same amount of traffic, but I feel like I owe him a positive shout-out...that and he provides a good contrast when you talk about the business practices of other occult writers.]

My second most read post is about search engines and Google. This is also another surprise. After all, this blog is not about providing helpful advice to other bloggers.

For ease of writing, and making a pie chart--I had to make a pie chart...I like pie charts...I LOVE pie charts--I combined the numbers of the three posts about David F***ing Griffin. He shows up at slot six in my top ten, and takes up three slots...which account for less than one percent of my overall lifetime views for this blog.

Now, given the greatness of the man, I expected this number to be higher. Hell, to hear the man talk, all ten of my top ten should be Griffin. Sure he is twelve percent of my top ten, but I expected higher numbers.

[It was the fact that no post about Griffin has ever cracked the three thousand mark that made me guess that an EAK post would only get a hundred views. After all, at the time, this blog was about Golden Dawn...supposedly.]

{What this blog is about now is open to debate. If there was an air of doubt before the December re-branding, there is a positive fog of doubt now. But I am fairly sure that it has something to do with cats...}

And yes, I know that I should go though my entire list of blog posts to determine the actual value that Griffin has...but having seen that five other blog posts beat him in the top ten, I don't feel like doing it today. 

Besides, having watched my traffic on a regular basis, I have noted that Griffin only shows up lately in my keyword search data about three times a month. And no, he does not make it into my top ten search terms for this blog. I know--I am shocked too. 

[The number was never that high even when he was big-mouthing the entire Golden Dawn community--make of that what you will.]

My number three top ten is actually a poem--Lucky Penny--but it is actually the picture that drives the traffic to it. The traffic the picture gets is one of the reasons that I eventually decided that most of my blog posts need pictures.

Number four on the top ten hit parade is--drum roll please--Red Flag Magic Garden Creeper Award! Again, this was a surprise. Even more surprising is the number of "defenders" who showed up in the comment section telling me that I was completely wrong in awarding a Creeper Award...but realistically it may just be one defender using multiple accounts. And it really does not matter, you can read the screenshots for yourself. 

Of course, the most amusing part is that the Red Flag post cracked three thousand--and we all know why that amuses me.

Number five is a birthday wish to a Golden Dawn authority. Finally, something Golden Dawn shows up. But I am fairly sure that it has nothing to do with Golden Dawn, and has everything to do with the birthday cat picture used in the post.

[Is this the last time, we will see a cat picture? Stay tuned--anything can happen!]

So, we finally get to a post about Griffin--sixth slot--remember I added the numbers of three posts for the purposes of the pie chart. If you dare go look--this is my most popular David F***ing Griffin post. Try not to read anything into that fact.

Eight and ten are also Griffin.

Number seven is my favorite "Beware of bad behavior by occultists" post. It is not really a surprise that Thirteen Warning Signs That Your Guru is Rotten is in my top ten posts. As long as people insist in posting "Looking for someone to teach me!" messages in Facebook groups, I will continue to share the link to this one. This post is currently expected to fight its way into my top five by the next time, I write about my blog numbers.

We know that Griffin is eight and ten, so what is number nine? A bloody book review. How did a book review make its way into my top ten, and perform better than 1491 other posts? Simple, people Google-ing the subject of the book. Turns out that a subject with little information on it will result in long tail effects.

Speaking of Google...

...provided that you are a Virgo.

Turns out that my top ten keywords that drive traffic to my blog, eight of them are people looking for cat pictures.

Yes, it turns out that more people use Google to find cat pictures than they do to find out stuff about the Golden Dawn. Color me surprised. "Halloween Cat" easily outranked Golden Dawn.

For convenience's sake, I combined the misspellings with the proper spellings for the purposes of the pie chart. And it is easy to see that this blog needs more cat pictures.

Not only did cat pictures beat Golden Dawn, so did the term "Google."

Now, in all fairness, my top ten search keywords only counts for two percent of my lifetime page views on this blog, so there might be tons of stuff in the lower reaches that totally trumps the number of hits that cats and Google gets. On the day that I total up all the Griffin post numbers, I will also total up the views for the cats, and we will have proof who is more popular.

I am sad that Australia was not higher in the ranks.

In terms of traffic, ten countries account for eighty-one percent of my traffic. The United States accounts for fifty-seven percent, with number two Russia accounting for eight percent.

In my head, Australia is more important than it actually is. Australia, you need to step up your game. Two percent is a poor showing. Australia, you can do better.

[I have corrupted a couple of Australian Golden Dawn students--and I would like to corrupt more of them. Therefore, Australia needs to do better.]

{Do Australians like cat pictures? If so, I can provide.}

As for traffic from various platforms, Google accounts for thirteen percent of my traffic; Facebook accounts for four and a half percent. And a single blog has sent me a whole one percent of my traffic (which is not bad at all)--Head For the Red if you are curious.

So that is it for my first 1500 posts (eleven f***ing years). Here to the next 1500--of which a whole quarter must be about cats, if I am reading my data correctly.

Meow!

Merry Christmas! (Xmas Kitty edition)

The angel of Bast shown up for the Christmas miracle.

Merry Christmas everyone! And today I reveal to you the real secret of Christmas--it is all about appeasing the Christmas spirits. In my case, spirits that walk around on four legs and say Meow! a lot. Most other people focus on family, especially children. But I focus on appeasing the cats of the world, so that they allow us humans to exist for another year. I may have already been helping myself to the eggnog also. Merry Xmas! Here is to a better 2013.

Xmas Kitties 2012 (Kitty 11 plus)

It is a Cat in a Christmas hat.

 

One of the common Christmas Cat photos is the every-amusing "Let's put a Santa cap on the kitty--nothing could possibly go wrong while doing this." Hint--kitty is not the one that is going to end up on Santa's Naughty List; no, it is the silly owner, who is now bleeding that is going to be on the Naughty List. Hope you like the present the cat is going to leave in your shoe.

More Cats in Xmas hats.

Xmas Kitties 2012 (Kitty 10)

Oh dear, another Xmas Kitty Reindeer.

Message from my cat: Meow! It is not nice to make fun of kitties with strange noses. Meow! Even if they are red (or in his case, tri-colored). Meow! And it is even more wrong to dress your cat up as a reindeer. Message ends--Meow!

Xmas Kitties 2012 (Kitty 9)

A cat wanting to be a reindeer--unlikely.

Here is a cute kitty dressed in a reindeer costume. But it is highly unlikely that they actually want to be a reindeer. More likely the cat is wondering if this makes up for the fact that they broke a couple of vases earlier in the day. After all, it is just so unfair that humans believe that perfectly normal cat behavior earns them a spot on Santa's naughty list.

Xmas Kitties 2012 (Day 8)

Xmas Kitty is fixing the lights on your Christmas tree.

Do Christmas trees have engines and motors? I suspect yes from this picture. I do know that they have wiring which might need fixing. Not that I want any of my cats to do wiring. Heck, I am not sure that I would trust myself to do wiring. Correction--I know that I do not trust myself to do any wiring. Therefore, maybe I am better off letting the cat figure out why the Christmas lights are not working.

Xmas Kitty 2012 (Kitty 7)

Trees are a favorite spot for Xmas Kitties to hide in.

One thing that you are sure to find if you search for Christmas and Cats in the same search is Cats in Christmas Trees. First, cats are fascinated by trees in the first place. Second, cats are really fascinated by trees that are inside of the house. It is not their fault that the tree doesn't have proper roots to auchor them down, so they do not tumble over. Nor is it their fault that their silly human decide to drape and hang a bunch of shiny, fragile objects from such an unstable, unnatural set-up. To a cat, a tree is supposed to be climbed--and climb them they do. Hence all the Christmas cats one sees in trees.

Xmas Kitties 2012 (Day 6)

Christmas Kitty is so cute.

There is no particular reason for this Christmas Kitty beyond "She is so cute that my head feels like it is about to explode!" And if cuteness is not a good enourgh reason to include this pretty kitty, dressed up as (perhaps) a cat version of one of Santa's elves, then I do not know what is a good reason. It does matter, this cat made the Christmas line-up...because this is my blog, and I will do what I want with it.

Xmas Kitties 2012 (Kitty 5)

Even Grumpy Cat is getting into the holiday spirit.

I will admit that I am one of those Christmas Humbug people. The holidays generally depress me--this year more so than the last couple. I think it the state of my wallet--empty--that is the trigger. For those who do not know, I grew up very poor. I learned the truth about Santa relatively early, and spent my entire childhood after that point skipping birthdays and holidays, so that my brothers and sisters could get presents instead. Sacrificing for others is a habit that I never got out of--I tend to give up resources and choices, so that other people's needs are covered. It is a problem. But a bigger problem is my resentment of this programmed habit; I tend to be hostile on occasion when I feel obligated to hand over my last bit of a resource to someone, and have to cover my own needs with absolutely nothing. One can see what part of my Adeptus Major work is going to be. Of course, the instant I start that section of the work, people are going to declare that I made Santa's naughty list...of course, these are the same people who declare that I am already on that list--so I am not sure that it will make that big of a difference in how some people percieve me. Nevertheless, I feel like giving them a present...maybe leaving a big bag of used cat litter on their front porch. I think that Grumpy Cat might even approve of that.

Xmas Kitties 2012 (Kitty 4)

Professor Cat would like to remind you that pets are forever.

It is now time for our annual Christmas public service message. Don't get a kitty, a cat, a puppy, a dog, or any other animal for Christmas just because you want an animal for the holidays. Don't get a pet for your kid just for the holidays either. Pets are forever. Once you allow an animal in your home, and start feeding it, you are responsible for its welfare for the rest of its life. So if you get a pet this holiday season, let it be because you found the right forever friend, not just because you thought it would be nice to have a pet for the holidays.

Xmas Kitties 2012 (Kitty 3)

The Twelve Days of Christmas as sang by cat owners.

There are things to be said about holidays, especially about how Christmas music can get stuck in your head, which cannot be published on a blog without an adult warning about harsh language. Today was one of those days; I had Christmas music stuck in my head. It did not help the writing at all. Of course, my Turtle Monkey co-creator called me on the phone and tried to install something equally obnoxious in my head...the Christmas music won out as soon as she hang up. My cats look at me as if it is just another day; I guess they are used to me singing only half of the lines of various songs off-key. So here is to the Christmas carols stuck in my head--it is just too bad that I am not writing any stories about Xmas.

Xmas Kitties 2012 (Kitty 2)

Xmas Kitty deserves a fancy feast this holiday season.

When I first saw this picture, I thought that it was a Thanksgiving picture. And then I noticed the Christmas Crackers and decided that it was actually a Christmas feast picture instead. (I had one history professor that was big on examining the fine details of old photographs which was a great suppliment to my literary studies...therefore another useless skill, outside of the occasional WTF moment.) Now, some people might point out the chicken, but in my household that is no sign that it is not Thanksgiving (often, we do a chicken for holidays--I have yet to be brave enourgh to attempt cooking a turkey--yes, I am cooking most of the meals in my household). So is it Thanksgiving, or is it Christmas? Does it matter to the cat? No, they are still going to help themselves to the food.

Xmas Kitties 2012 (Kitty 1)

Christmas Kitty looks like he has been drinking too much eggnog.

Yes, it is once again the season for many Christmas Cats to invade my humble little blog. I know my audience; while you claim that you are here to read about Golden Dawn and the esoteric traditions, you are really just here looking at silly cat pictures.

Most read month ever



I am not even as cool as Morgan Grimes.

One of the hazards of being a blogger is that one cannot help looking at the traffic figures. Well, I suppose that you could prevent yourself from looking at your traffic figures with a couple of rolls of duct tape. And honestly, it is probably one of the worst things you can do--look at your traffic figures that is; duct tape is perfectly acceptable for most household chores (babysitting kids, fixing furniture, getting that annoying neighbor across the street to shut up and stay on their side of the street).

Why is it the worst possible thing you can do (look at your own traffic figures, that is)? Because you can find out that you are less popular than Morgan Grimes. (Sorry, I am busy rewatching the entire Chuck series--I am sorry that it is not Shakepeare or something else high-brow...my readers do not actually come here for educated dialogue, do they?)

Or worse, you can look at your traffic figures and think that you are more popular and successful than Morgan Grimes. (For the one reader who does not know, Morgan Grimes was a supporting character in the TV show Chuck--a show about a Buy More Nerd Herder who downloaded the Intersect, a government data base into his head. Morgan Grimes is, well, a nerd into comic books and science fiction and not terribly cool. I have mentioned the fact that you are not here for intelligent conversation, right?)

Anyway, yes, I forgot to duct tape myself to the other side of the room far away from my computer...and therefore, I looked at my traffic figures for last month. The bad news--I am not even as cool as Morgan Grimes. The good news--last month was my most read month ever.

And this is despite several people deciding that they will never give me any traffic ever again. I am not sure that they realize that I haven't gotten any traffic from them for months...yes, I check my traffic figures on a regular basis. Makes me suspect that my audience is completely different than theirs. (Hmmm, I wonder if they get the smart Shakespeare audience...or maybe they actually get the people that Shakespeare was really writing for...sorry, that is a literature joke--after all, Shakespeare was writing for the commoners in the pit; you know the type of person who actually likes watching bear-baiting and men dressed up pretending to be witches and young maidens.)

So what strange things did I find in my figures? (You didn't want to know--how rude...of one of us...I am guessing it is you, dear reader, who thinks Morgan Grimes is cooler than I am.)

Surprise number one was that both Japan and Brazil made my top ten countries list for readership...I am not sure what I am writing that attracting them.

Surprise number two was that one of the top ten posts last month was about the blogs that I were reading a year ago (and they are not even occult blogs)--I am guessing it has to do with the fact that I mentioned one star Amazon book reviews in that post (but they had nothing to do with those one star Amazon book reviews that erupted last month).

Surprise number three is that one of my Christmas Kitty posts is still getting traffic. (Really? A Xmas post?)

Oh, wait...surprise number four is that my post about not warring against Christmas is also getting hits. (Don't ask me to explain it...I can't.)

I gained a new number two all time most read post last month "What is Griffin trying to accomplish?" It shot up and passed last year's favorite about Robert Zink being expelled from his own Order. Well, shot up and passed it by 123 views. And there is really no chance of it becoming my all time number one post--it would need about sixteen times the number of views to surpass my all time number one post on Understanding Search Engines. And no, I have no real idea what traffic would be like on a Morgan Grimes post, but I am guessing that Morgan Grimes would be more popular. (No?!)

As for my next blog post, well, it will be my 777th post on this blog. I wonder what it could be about. Maybe I will write about Morgan Grimes and how he should have been the star of Chuck.

12 Days of Christmas Kitties Bonus Kitty 5

My cat's favorite Christmas carol.

This is the Christmas Kitty that caused me to inflict a bunch of funny cat pictures on you this holiday season. It reminds me so much of one of the cats that I own---or does he own me? This morning, my wife gave him a new toy and within a couple of hours, he had destoryed it. I am quite sure that if we got a Xmas tree that he would remove most of the ornaments before the day was done. Nevertheless, I do love my wild rescue cat. And with this picture, we close out another holiday season---next on the Gleamings from the Golden Dawn is a series of posts that will be labeled annoying and trollish. Ye have been warned.

12 Days of Christmas Kiities Bonus Doggie

Yes, it is a Christmas doggie.

Occasionally, I do find a cute picture of a dog or puppy. In tribute of Anubis, I present you with a Christmas doggy.

12 Days of Christmas Kiities Bonus Kitty 4

Witch kitty got Santa voudoun doll.

One of the things that amuse me as a pagan is the number of Santa figurines, pictures, and toys there are available for sale. If each one was an icon, Santa would be a pretty powerful Saint. I think it is readily apparent what we really worship in this country.

12 Days of Christmas Kitties Bonus Kitty 3

It is the tin foil hat that causes the crazy.

A Xmas ritual in many pet owners' homes is the annual is the "let's put a bow" on the cat. This is a ritual that tends to make most cats think that their owners are crazy. And they may be right.

12 Days of Christmas Kitties Bonus Kitty 2

Cats meet window shades and make Santa sad.

I presume that many cats out there did not get all they dreamed of from Santa. Of course, one wonders if Santa is having as hard time as the rest of us in the distressed global economy, or if the cats were merely bad kitties. Just for the record, it is wrong to blame the lack of Xmas presents on bad behavior when it is actually the lack of money. Don't tramatize your cat's ego just to disguise the fact that Santa's budget is scrapping the bottom of the barrrel.

12 Days of Christmas Kitties Bonus Kitty 1

Santa Claws is coming.

Yes, there are bonus Christmas kitties to be shared with you---which just proves that the internet exists merely to share cat photos. For the record, I would insist on doing a second round of Christmas kittes because technically, the twelve days of Christmas is actually the twelve days following Christmas (the things one learns when they start hanging out with medievalists).