Everything is going forward!!!

Turtle Monkey attacks with roly-polies! No Mercury retrograde involved.

Welcome to the "Everything is going forward" 2013 edition. Or at least, all the planets are going forward (no retrogrades) from January 30th to February 17th, 2013. Enjoy the next two weeks because the next time we have an all-direct period is late December 2015 (and it will be a short week).

[That is if you account for all the modern planets, including Pluto...which is still a planet in my book. If you just use the seven classical planets, you get a few more all-direct periods.]

And what does this mean?

Absolutely nothing, other than anyone blaming some crap on some planet or another being retrograde is dumb-ass wrong. Of course, most of the time that you hear someone blame something on a retrograde planet, they are being an ass-hat. (If I had a dollar for every time I heard something being blamed on a planet driving the wrong way down the zodiac highway...especially Mercury...well, I wouldn't have to write erotica to make money.)

Oh, I imagine that there are some magicians who are going to be practicing some specialized work over the next two weeks. But if you do not already know what type of work you would do in all-direct period, odds are that you can't learn enourgh astrological magic fast enourgh to take advantage of this period. And no, I am not telling you what my special experiment is for this cycle--it is a secret method, after all.

But other than that, everything will be normal--as in "generally messed up" because mankind probably should have stayed in the trees. Of course, that last opinion might be simply because I have been drawing a lot of monkeys lately. And I like monkeys more than some humans I know, especially those humans I consider ass-hats. For that matter, I like spiders and roly-polies better than some humans. (Centipedes and milipedes still must be nuked from space--there is no excuse for them.)

Anyways, enjoy your all-direct period. It is the perfect time to learn that not everything that goes wrong is the fault of a retrograde planet. Especially when there are human beings involved.