Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Death so much death (where can I order the rebirth)

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Welcome to the October Tarot Blog Hop. The theme for this particular hop is: Le Roi Est Mort, Vive Le Roi! (The King is Dead, Long Live The King) Birth, Death & Rebirth...which seems fitting considering the ghastly year that I had. 

For those who have not heard about the year I have been having: First, the head of the Hearthstone Community Church (the "open full moon people"), Alia Denny died early this year; and then just a couple of months ago, my mother-in-law committed suicide because she no longer felt able to deal with her own health issues. These two events have been forcing me to reconsider my role in the local Wiccan community, deal with my own suicidal tendencies, and double-guess decisions I made before these two deaths. 

Our wrangler asked us to ask three questions of the cards:

1: What do the cards tell you about where this cycle has  lead you--where have you been?

Knight of Cups: I started this cycle focused on my writing, and the projects that I wanted to complete. But instead of accomplishing anything, I have been forced to consider that maybe the idea of being a writer (a successful one) is just a pipe dream. Both deaths caused serious disruptions in the flow of my writing. The only thing that is keeping me from chucking it all in is the fact that I get fed up with "management" after a mere ten minutes of watching someone else manage a business, and the fact that I believe my wife would be displeased with me if I gave up on my writing (she says I am a nasty person when I am managing a restaurant). So now, I am kinda depressed and moody, and double-guessing the value of what I was (maybe still am) working on. 

(For the curious, I am most passionate about writing stuff in the Great Gherkin/Sister Seuss universe...which consists of me making jokes about the occult community. It is not educational, uplifting, or even potentially marketable. Still ninety percent of my output lately is connected to that universe. All other projects have dropped by the wayside more or less.)

Knight of Cups.
2: What do the cards tell you about where you are headed--where are you going?

Eight of Wands: Unfortunately, this card just seems to indicate that I am going to continue to be wrapped up in "the project that is just going to p*ss people off." I do find it amusing that the figure in the card is green--Hulk smash! The writing in that particular universe tends to go fast which matches the speed that I imagine the future boycott of my work is going to take. 

I would try to wiggle out of this reading, and aim for the Harmic Barrow stuff....but that is also a project that I think people are going to be upset about (the Barrow universe touches upon racism). 

On the positive side, I assume that the storm will pass quickly and my offense soon forgotten by most people (there will be a couple of people who will be upset for a long time, but considering that they have held grudges against me for other offenses seemingly forever--they don't really count).

Eight of Wands.
3: What do you feel has changed for you at the end of this cycle along your journey of life?

Three of Swords: Panic attacks. That sums up where I am currently at. (According to the lore, this card can indicate panic attacks, so let's go with that.) Lately, I have had quite a few of them. Not only am I double-guessing my ability to string sentences together, our household budget is in shambles (my wife's job hunt was interrupted by her mom's death), so that just makes the voices in my head saying, "Go back to restaurant work you f***ing loser" that much louder. Plus my wife is not necessarily in a good place emotionally. I will admit that a certain amount of self-medication is happening on my end, just so that I can keep the worst of the panic at bay. I am sure that she will recover, that I might recover (no promises--I have always been a little insane), and that we will survive. Still, I am not in a comfortable place at the moment. 

Three of Swords.
So thanks for reading. I encourage you to read other entries from this blog hop (hopefully, other people are doing better than I am). Until next time, INRI-LVX-IAO.

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Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Pumpkin spice everything (including cat and dog food) Morgan goes shopping

Welcome to the first exciting installment of Morgan Goes Shopping!

No?!? Well, it is either this or I blog about politics again. What? I can't hear you. Say that again. A little louder. Again. I see. Very well...

Welcome to the first totally exciting installment of Morgan Goes Shopping!!!

Oh noes! It is a pumpkin spice flavored Jack O' Lantern.
The other day, I was shopping with my wife...because that is what married people do, they go shopping.

And I saw a Pumpkin Spiced flavored product...

Pop-Secret Pumpkin Spice popcorn because there is not enough pumpkin spice in your life.
...popcorn. Seriously, pumpkin spice flavored popcorn.

And that made me wonder what other pumpkin spice goodness was out there. 

Pumpkin Spice flavored Doritos does not actually exist.

But Pumpkin Pie Spice flavored Pringles do.
In the pumpkin spice junk food section also exists Pringles, but not Doritos. Because the idea of putting pumpkin spice on popcorn wasn't bad enough.

Oh so, much pumpkin spice flavored stuff.
Planters Pumpkin Spice Almonds got an average of four stars.
Some of the products I saw during my quick Google search seemed to be a little nuts, such as actual nuts sprinkled with pumpkin spice. Others like Cheerios, just made me think that people are a little nuts. Really Pumpkin Spice for breakfast--what type of serial killer are you?

Not pumpkin spice flavored, but still--Carmel Apple flavored Peeps Delights.
Pumpkin flavored ice cream--thanks 365.
A lot of Pumpkin Spice stuff looks like a good way to fall into a sugar induced coma.

Nature's Promise Organic Pumpkin Spice Chicken Sausage.
But never fear, it is not just snacks. You can plan a whole meal around pumpkin spice. First, you get some sausage...

The Fresh Market pumpkin pasta sauce.
...and then some pasta, and behold a tasty pumpkin spice Italian meal.

Or if you are into Mexican food...

Archer Farms Pumpkin Harvest salsa.
Or into Greek food...
Cedar's Pumpkin Spice hommus. (I thought it was spelled hummus.)
Or just like fast food...
Halloween themed Whopper from 2015.
Just kidding, there is no pumpkin spice at Burger King...I hope.

Listerine breath stripes--pumpkin spice edition.
Or you could just skip the eating, and just make your breath smell like pumpkin spice...because people find the smell of pumpkin spice sexy?

There is even pumpkin spice, or at least pumpkin pet products too.

Greenies Pumpkin Spice Dental Treats.
There are Pumpkin Spice Dental Treats for your dog...because your dog's breath does not already smell like all the pumpkin spice food and drink that they are sneaking behind your back.Or maybe you want pumpkin spice flavored doggy kisses which sounds a little kinky to me, but who am I to judge?

Tidy Cats Fall Frolic scented cat litter.
Fall Frolic--I assume it smells like Pumpkin Spice. How does that pair up with the smell of "Oh god, how about burying your poop kitty!"? Does the smell of pumpkin spice offset "I owe the entire house now--smell my poop!"? Or does it just emphasize it?
Pumpkin and Spice Pet Odor Exterminator Candle.
I guess that covering up the smell of pets with pumpkin spice is a thing because here is a candle that promises to cover up the poop smell with pumpkin spice.

Moving onto the reason that animals poop...

Weruva Cats in the Kitchen Pumpkin Jack Splash.
 So let me see if I get this straight, you put tuna into some pumpkin soup, and then fed it to a human who thought this must be what cats want their food to taste like. Or something like that. I am having a real hard time picturing a cat coming up with this particular flavor combination. But I could be wrong, maybe cats love this.

[As always, if you think your product can survive an actual encounter with Morgan and his cats, just send some to: Morgan Eckstein and his many cats, 2727 N. Cook St. Denver, CO 80205. Kindly remember that I have like, oh say "less than a dozen, but damn close" number of cats, so send the multi-pack sample.]

The final word on pumpkin spice goes to a random internet cat...

This kitty does not know what they are missing.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy! (Real reason that the Hollywood cesspool and other cesspools exist)

Recently, there has been an uptick in horrible things happening to good people. There have been an increase in the number of immigrants, house foreclosures, jobs being lost, tires falling off of the back of trucks, sexual harassment accusations, Confederate statues being taken down, satiric writers not shutting up, gun rights being threaten by people who have no desire to shoot other people, and that horrible woman Hillary Clinton almost becoming President of the United States of America. And all these horrible things are caused by the same thing:

Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!

That Wall not being built: Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Parking ticket: Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Not getting a raise at work:  Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Bank says that they want their money: Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Loan shark says that they want their money:  Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Your horse not winning their race:  Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Toaster trying to electrocute you:  Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Killer Chinese satellite falling on your house:  Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Your favorite politician being falsely accused of sexual harassment:  Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Your favorite media talking head being falsely accused of sexual harassment: Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Your favorite Hollywood bigshot being falsely accused of sexual harassment: Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Vatican sex scandal:  Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Your least favorite politician actually committing sexual harassment:  Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Your least favorite media talking head actually committing sexual harassment:  Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Some Hollywood bigshot you hate actually committing sexual harassment: Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Being told that Alt-Right is just another term for "F***ing Nazi": Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Mass shootings:  Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Pot becoming legal: Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Liberals continuing to have civil rights:  Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Least favorite critic continuing to breathe in and out: Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
The ice cream parlor being out of your favorite flavor: Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!

And you know that it must be true when the world's greatest occultist and lover tells you...

"Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy! is why the world is a hot damn mess."

Because that explanation is so much more reasonable than "Human beings, especially men, abuse power whenever they acquire it."

For instance, there is no way that Hollywood turned into a cesspool in the thirties when men realized that there was money to be made making movies. There is no way that the hundred plus production companies of the 1910s and 1920s being brought up and condensed into a mere dozen in the 1930s and 1940s resulted in a situation where a handful of men could force women to have sex with them if they wanted to keep working. There is no way that these powerful men could convince their companies to sweep such behavior under the rug, paying off the most dangerous and uncomfortable accusations, putting clauses into their contracts that they (the powerful men) could have all the accusations they wanted as long as they paid fines, and enact self-censoring rules that ensured that no one could make a movie or television series about what was really going on. There is no way that power was condensed in the hands of a few men in such a way that it became a running joke in Hollywood that certain men in Hollywood controlled the entire careers of female actors because no one could actually talk seriously about the issue of sexual harassment if they wanted to continue working in Hollywood.

And there is absolutely no way that Wall Street, Washington D.C., Silicon Valley, mega-churches, network journalism, monolithic esoteric traditions, and a score of other industries that this blogger is too lazy to mention by name, had suffered the same type of power hoarding by men, so that they could also sexually harass any woman that they wanted to.

Hell, even the Bible has sexual harassment in it, saying that men are allowed to rape women as long as they pay a fine for violating virgins. There is absolutely no way that the Bible was actually written by men who held power and decided that they liked abusing the power that they hoarded.

No, it is far more reasonable that it was all the result of...

Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!

Furthermore, it is more reasonable that only those who do not share your particular political opinions are actually doing such misdeeds while those of your political mindset are being falsely accused. It is just a joke when your favorite politician says that they have committed sexual harassment on a live microphone, but completely true when your most hated and loathed enemy politician is accused of supporting a Satanic baby sacrifice ring. There is no way that your approval and white-washing of the deeds of those who share your political mindset is helping create the problem. There is no way that you have been tricked by false news and fast talking. No, that is can't be true; it must be a...

Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!

After all, that allows you to have a righteous hate of those who do not look and think like you do. It allows you to take part in a righteous crusade to free the world from a Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy! It makes you one of the good guys. It allows you to look forward to killing people that you do not like because they have to be part of a Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!

And in no way, are you being played by a Conspiracy to Control How You Think and Act, Pay Dues to, What you Buy, and What to Watch and Read, and Who to Vote for, by some people who decided that your hot button, the thing that makes you stupid is the idea that all your troubles are being caused by a Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy! After all, for that to be true, there would have to be a...

Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!

If you were ok with Trump's "grab them by the pussy" comment, then you are part of the problem.

Monday, October 23, 2017

Buy yourself something for Xmas (newly listed stuff Khari Wiccan Treasures)

Here are the items that my wife just listed on Khari's Wiccan Treasures (Etsy shop) this weekend.

Sapphire blue ritual offering plate and mint green mortar and pestle.
Mint green and sapphire blue ritual offering plate with teal underglaze, six and an half inches wide (16 centimetres), stamped with handcraved pentacle and scroll pattern---$28 USD (plus shipping and handling).

Buy it here.

Mint green and sapphire blue ritual offering plate.

Hand-thrown pansy purple and lavender coffee mug, holds a cup and a half (twelve ounces), made with lead-free glazes, microwave and dishwasher safe--$26 USD (plus shipping and handling)--buy it now to get it in time for Xmas.

Buy it here

Charming moon and stars pansy purple and lavender coffee mug.

Pansy purple and black triple moon ritual offering plate, hand-thrown, food safe glazes, six inches wide (13 cm), $25 USD (plus shipping and handling).

Buy it now to get it in time for Xmas.

Pansy purple and black triple moon ritual offering plate.

Wheel-thrown small mortar and pestle, sapphire blue and black, grooved bottom for easier grinding, food safe glazes, five inches (12.5 cm) wide, one and a half inches (4 cm) deep. Ready to ship. $24 USD (plus shipping and handling).

Buy now to get it before Xmas.

Sapphire blue with black rim small grooved bottomed mortar and pestle.

Mottled blue and black small mortar and pestle, food safe glazes, grooved bottom for easier grinding, $24 USD (plus shipping and handling), delightful colored rim.

Buy now to get in time for Xmas.

Grooved bottom for easier grinding.

Delightful color effect on the mortar's rim.

Delightful aqua blue small corked herb jar with natural cork, wheel-thrown, food safe glaze, three inches (7 cm) tall, can hold one ounce of liquid, $15 USD (plus shipping and handling).

We ship worldwide, so buy it now to get it in time for Xmas.

Small aqua blue corked herb jar.

Cute and tiny.
Charming ice blue votive candle holder cup, two and a quarter inch (5.5 cm) high, two and a half inch (6.5 cm) wide, thrown and trimmed on a potter's wheel, $15 USD (plus shipping and handling).

Buy it here.

Ice blue votive candle holder bowl (candle not included).

Small green candle holder/trinket/offering plate, three and a half inches (9 cm) wide, handmade, lime green and gun metal green on inside, chrome green on outside, decorated with spiral. $16.50 USD (plus shipping and handling).

Buy it now to receive before Xmas.

Spiral decorated green trinket plate, could also be used as a votive candle holder.

Lime green (inside) and chrome green (outside) altar plate/soap dish/trinket plate, hand-made, decorated with sea wave spiral pattern, four and one quarter inch (11 cm) by three inches (7 cm) wide, $18.50 USD (plus shipping and handling).

Ships worldwide from the United States.

Lime green sea wave decorated inside, chrome green outside soap dish.

Pansy purple and black triple moon ritual offering plate (just listed on Etsy)

Just listed:

Pansy purple and black triple moon ritual offering plate, hand-thrown, food safe glazes, six inches wide (13 cm), $25 USD (plus shipping and handling).

Buy it now to get it in time for Xmas.

Pansy purple and black triple moon ritual offering plate.

Friday, October 20, 2017

What is a Decan (why are decans associated with the Minor Arcana) and how is a decan shown in GD Tarot artwork?

A question asked in the Sanctuary of Mau (Golden Dawn Facebook group for people working their way though the Cicero's Self-Initiation into the Golden Dawn Tradition textbook):

BB wrote:

"I'm trying to draw the two of Wands now, but I'm a bit confused by the wording. What does "Two small wands above and below" mean? I'm supposed to draw two central ones being held, then two above and two below them, making for six wands total? And what is the Decan? Maybe I should put this project on a hold until I have a better grasp of the material."

Description from Book T: "A WHITE Radiating Angelic hand, issuing from clouds, and grasping two crossed wands. Flames issue from the point of junction. On two small wands above and below, with flames of five issuing therefrom, are the symbols of Mars and Aries for the Decan."

My answer:

The small wands are just places to stick the symbols of Mars and Aries. Most, if not all, modern artists ignore that part of the description and just use the astrology symbols. If you really want something to place them on, I suggest little banners.

The small cards (Minor Arcana) two to ten in the sutis are associated with the Decans. A Decan is a third of a Zodiac sign (ten degrees). [Some other occult sources use the term Face for them.] Each Decan has a sub-ruler that flavors that ten degrees, and is stronger when you find the planet there. The typical wording is "planet in sign," but really should be "the ten degrees of the sign subruled by XYZ planet."

There are two ways to assign the planetary subrulers to the Decans. The method used by Golden Dawn is based on the same pattern as the assignment of the planets to the Tree of Life sephiroth. The other method (sometimes called the Vedic method) is based on the element of the sign and the rulers of the other two signs of the same element; this alternative method is actually easier to figure out in your head. Due to Golden Dawn choosing the harder method, it helps the reader if the astrological symbols are on the cards to remind the reader of the card's assignment.

So how is the decan used in readings? Besides being one of several layers that make up a card (others being Number, Colors, Sephiroth, etc.), one can use it to determine timing (this event will occur while the Sun is in this ten degrees of the Zodiac), and also the placement of planets when one does readings based on the planets.

For instance, in a Planetary based reading, the first card pulled would be the position of the Rising Sign, the second would be the position of the Sun, the third would be the position of the Moon, etc.

An example of the Two of Wands done by a modern artist and Adept.
Assignment of the Decans to the Minor Arcana.

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Sister Seuss sums up Waterworld for a numpty

Sister Seuss sums up Waterworld for a numpty: There are no golf courses after global warming wins. Seriously, no golf courses. None at all.
Sister Seuss is not a scientist, so you can believe her.

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Be a good Prisoner (Remember to report all Unmutual Citizens to Number Forty-Five)

Your attention please. Here is an important announcement. Buttons should not be read as political statements. Any citizen doing so will declared unmutual. Any unsocial incident involving such an unmutual citizen should be reported immediately to the Appeals Subcommittee. Thank you for your attention.

I am not saying that we all are prisoners...

Monday, October 9, 2017

Nick Farrell is mean to the Alt-Right (and they are upset about it)

Yesterday, in a howl Nick Farrell wrote a Facebook group moderator post about the posts that would get you banned from one of the Golden Dawn Facebook groups that he moderates. One of the things on the list was posting Alt-Right stuff. And his howl was met with screams that he was being unfair to the Alt-Right; and that by not mentioning the Alt-Left, he must somehow be supporting the Alt-Left.

Personally, as a fellow moderator of that particular GD FB group, I thought that backlash was ridiculous. First off, it is the Alt-Right posts that people keep trying to make that are the issue. Second, I haven't been seeing any Alt-Left posts in the pending stack. Third, the Alt-Left is a myth of the Alt-Right, who just assume that those who hate them are somehow organized beyond the Punch the Nazi level. Fourth, if Alt-Left posts were found in the pending stack, I would reject them (as well as Nick) simply because that particular GD FB group tries to remain focused on magic, and not on bovine end-products.

[If you are an Alt-Right, there is a Golden Dawn Facebook group ran by David Griffin which will totally let you post Alt-Right stuff. I am not sure if Griffin is an Alt-Right supporter, but he sure seems to hold their political position. In fact, the quickest way to get banned from his GD FB group is to be a liberal, and to tell him that his Alt-Right views are full bovine end-product goodness. And his GD FB group seems to be 100% about politics and 0% about magic, so there is a place for you.]

In response to the outrage that he was being unfair, and is somehow a member of the Alt-Left, Nick Farrell wrote a blog post. He wrote: 

"Some people think that the issue is political and you should not be talking about politics on a Golden Dawn chat group anyway.  While there is some truth in this, for me the issue is NOT political at all. Alt-Right ideas are not political at all but are the antithesis of everything the Golden Dawn represents.

Stripping away “political” ideas of alt-right we are still left with the following fundamental beliefs which are alien to the core of the Golden Dawn:
  • The superiority of white males.
  • Hatred of Jews and Muslims and homosexuals.
  • A misogynistic opposition to “feminism” which is a call for women to adopt traditional roles."
You can read the rest of his blog post on his blog: Sorry, you can't be Alt-Right and a member of the Golden Dawn.

If Alt-Right is banned, why not Alt-Left?

Executive branch stages a political stunt (Take a knee)

All hail the masters of political stunts, smoke and mirrors, the mighty Trump administration.

Gregg Doyel, sports columnist for the Indianapolis Star, believes that Vice President Mike Pence purposely went to a football game just so that Pence could walk out in outrage.

"What, you think he didn't know the 49ers would kneel on Sunday? Pence knew. The 49ers are the one franchise, the only franchise, that have had at least one player kneel before every game since Colin Kaepernick was the first to do it in the 2016 preseason. Kaepernick played for the 49ers, of course."

And I think he is right. After all, the press pool was told to stay in the van because Pence wouldn't be there long. 

This whole football players are evil traitors for taking a knee during the National Anthem is just a way for President Donald Trump to say that #blacklivesmatter does not matter and is unAmerican (in other words, he is a white supremacist). And to distract us from all the other crap that his administration is doing.

When I swore my oath to protect this country and its Constitution, it wasn't just the Freedom of Speech for those people that the President liked that I was promising to protect--it was all speech (even that of f***ing Nazis and racists)--therefore, this protest, this taking of the knee, was part of what I was promising to protect. Just because the all-mighty Donald "Jesus" Trump and Mike "altar boy" Pence do not like the protest does not make it wrong. If we have to tolerate the hate speech of white supremacists, then we also have to tolerate this form of free speech.

And if you think that just because the President says it is wrong, that it is...well, you are being played. Either that or you are a racist Nazi. If you don't know which one you are, just ask yourself, "What if Hillary Clinton would have said this? Would you still be outraged? Or would you totally support the kneeling players because the devil said they were evil?"

What's next? Nuking a football game in the name of patriotism?

Friday, October 6, 2017

Cthulhu waits dreaming in his house at Rlyeh (RAEBNC Halloween Kitty)

A fun RAEBNC to drop into discussions is "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl."

It is fun to say. Say it with me, "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl." Again: "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl!" And once more, "PH'NGLUI MGLW'NATH CTHULHU R'LYEH WGAH'NAGL!"

That was fun, wasn't it?

And it is a great answer to those wonderful questions that get asked in forums populated by know-it-all numpties.

Ex. What is the greatest secret of the Adept Minor Grade of golden Dawn? They don't want to hear that exposure to the Vault of the Adepts, as in actually standing inside the Vault and being initiated, is the greatest secret of the 5=6 Grade. Furthermore, they (the howling babble of numpties**, that is) dont' want to be lectured that the Adept Minor Grade is not actually a Golden Dawn Grade, but rather a Grade of the RR et AC (Roseae Rubeae et Aureae Crucis***). No, they don't want answers like that; if they did, they would not be numpties.

No, tell them that "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl*" is the greatest secret of the Adept Minor Grade. And if they ask you what it means, tell them that things like literal meaning, dogma and doctrine are prisons that restrict one's spiritual development and that the best way to understand Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl is through free-association.

For instance--Behold its true greatness unfolded: "Phone home nasty Gollum, leap up intensely. Magic glows like white nuggets against fiery hotness. Cats think humans use laser hosting utilities. Ravenous leeches yummily eat hot-dogs. Warlike Godzilla attack helicopters, next attack Graded losers. For Holiness touches aggressive great numpties.****"

[*Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl according to the fictional stories of the Cthulhu Mythos (created by H.P. Lovecraft and other fiction writers) roughly means "In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming." Despite what some believe, H.P. Lovecraft was not an occultist; that has not stopped some occultists from using stuff from the Mythos stories--after all, occultism is the original "If the shiny bits are not bolted down, I am taking them" profession.

**The proper term for a group of numpties is a Babble.

***RR et AC: Rose of ruby and cross of gold--the official name of the Second Order of the Hermetic Golden Dawn.

****This is obviously not the work of a numpty, for it still makes too much sense. Trust the numpties to come up with even better versions of "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl" for your amusement.]

Public Service Announcement: Do not let your cat sleep in the Vault of the Adepts.

Instead let your cat sleep in the mouth of Cthulhu.

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Sounds like Harry Potter (RAEBNC Halloween Kitty)

An useful RAEBNC substitute is "Sounds like Harry Potter." And a lot of people use it on Facebook.

For some reason, people are not happy just recounting the magic as it actually happened.

"I lit the candle using a lighter that took me thirty minutes to find (maybe I should put lighters on the grocery list), did the Lesser Ritual of the Pentagram, screamed the divine names at the top of my lungs, set fire to the poppet, broke circle to shut off the damn smoke detector. Two days later, the Great Gherkin told a story about how someone hexed a tire off the back of a truck, almost smashing his car. Ritual must be marked down as a failure--I was trying to conjure up a new calligraphy set."

Instead they must say, "And the Archangels formed out of the mist as I dis-consecrated the graves of Doctor Dee and Kelly, their eyes tearing up as I chanted perfectly the forty-nine names of God, before sacrificing a baby to make a Horocrux. The ritual was a total success and just proves once again that I am the greatest Rosicrucian Imperator to ever live."

In all such instances, you are allowed, perhaps even required to say that the story teller's tale sounds just like something out of Harry Potter.

Harry Potter is off to quidditch practice on his Nimbus Two Thousand broom.

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Roll 2d20 (RAEBNC Halloween Kitty)

Continuing our month of random stuff to say to make people think that you care, we present Dungeons and Dragons Kitty, Cardboard Edition.

If you are anything like me, you know a lot of people online (and in real life) who had played some form of role-playing game in their life--the type with the paper maps and funny looking dice that is. Therefore, the comment "Roll 2d20" or any of its variations ("Roll 3d6") means something, even if you are just pretending to read the discussion.

For instance, earlier today, someone posted a picture of items that they dug up from the graves of children while asking whether the spirits would be upset. I think that you will agree that telling them to Roll 2d20 makes a lot of sense because they are about to take some damage.

(Information for the one poor soul that has never played any form of tabletop gaming, "2d20" means "two dice with twenty sides." And dice are rolled for anything that the Dungeon Master "DM" [or Game Master "GM"] {or any one of a hundred different titles} needs to have a random number for--the amount of damage you take, the amount of money that the Great Gherkin cons you out of, the chance of the lovely elf falling in love with your character, etc.)

When your new armor kills your Dex.

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

It is Taco Tuesday (RAEBNC Halloween Kitty)

Now back to our blogcation...

It is Tuesday! And we all know what that means--someone is cooking tacos and they really need to share with us. Everyone loves tacos, and that what makes "It is Taco Tuesday!" such a great RAEBNC response.

You can drop "It is Taco Tuesday!" into any Facebook conversation. Especially if it is a Tuesday. People will know that you love tacos, might know what day of the week it is, and think that you consider tacos more interesting than whatever topic they were losing their minds over.

Plus if one objects to you using Taco Tuesday as a response, you can always share the fact that Taco Cat is a Palindrome...which should buy you enough time to run away and eat some tacos.

Taco Cat spelled backwards is Taco Cat.

Monday, October 2, 2017

Bring out your I need a machine gun for self defense arguments (Las Vegas terrorist act)

We interrupt my blogcation to bring you some thoughts about the latest bit of gun violence in the United States.

Last night in Las Vegas, there was a mass shooting incident. The news broke before I went to bed, but I decided to wait until morning to write this post (in hopes of having better information). As I write this, the latest death toll figure is fifty-eight dead and a couple of hundred people injured--and the number is still climbing. So if I understand it properly, a sniper with an automatic weapon (I heard "machine gun") opened fire from a upper story hotel window unto a crowd at a concert two hundred yards away.

I have already seen the knee-jerk NRA self-defense argument that a plane, a car, a bomb, evil voodoo, could do the same amount of damage. Honestly, this argument does not hold for this incident, due to the difficulties of delivering said items to their target. And in this situation, with its security, if you wanted to to generate high causality numbers, your best bet was a machine gun or a rocket. And the last time I checked rockets are harder to obtain than guns.

(For those who are curious, I spent a lot of time studying the terror act of attempting to assassinate Adolf Hitler--the problem was delivering the bomb to the target. [Not that I view it as an act of terrorism, but some people do...and some of them are nice people, according to our President and his fan club.]  I have studied this problem and have came to the conclusion that bullets are easier to deliver to certain target-rich environments.)

I also have seen the knee-jerk "good guy with a gun" argument. Are you really telling me that no one attending a country music concert in Las Vegas had a gun? It is an open-carry state--there had to be dozens of guns there.

On top of this, I have also seen the "We need guns to protect ourselves from Hillary Clinton and Obama seizing power" argument. (At first, I thought that it was a tasteless joke, then I realized that the person was being serious--they really think that Clinton and Obama are going to overthrow the government of Donald Trump--a fact that I discovered from their wall; they have been screaming this ever since the election.)

So the gun freedom nuts are already out in force defending their right to obtain a machine gun and open fire on an innocent crowd. Or in this case, other people's ability to do such.

And all this reminds me of the satire I am writing.

In my satire, there is a series of domestic terror attacks; each being worse than the previous. And a talking head on FOX News screaming, "the right to keep and bear arms"--and in the end, arguing that they need to be allowed to keep nuclear weapons, so they can defend themselves from terrorists and the government.

I did mention that this was a satire, right?

By the way, I don't want my satire to based on reality. But people will argue that it is. (In my story, it is a sniper overlooking Times Square on New Year's Eve.)

Nor did I want a new benchmark of the level of violence (death toll) that we are willing to tolerate because we must have our phallus-extending guns. My old benchmark was Sandy Hook--if we could not get a reform of gun control laws in this country after Sandy Hook, then it would never happen. (This is also something I play with in my satire---having an incident of a thousand people not being enough to tilt the balance.) Now, the official benchmark is fifty-eight dead, two hundred injured--possibly higher--and we still are going to allow the NRA tell us that we are not allowed to keep guns out of the hands of crazy people.

It is a sad day when my satire starts to look more reasonable than what is actually going on. Good job, America.

Sorry, I think that we have a problem here.

That is cat torture (RAEBNC Halloween Kitty)

Today's RAEBNC suggestion is "That's cat torture!"

It works for so many things: cats in Halloween costumes, politics, magical discussions, music, etc.

Plus it allows you to pretend that you are socially conscious and awake, and care about something beyond entertainment and your ever-growing ego.

Go ahead and try it today. On the next ten Facebook discussions you want to leave a comment on, but have no desire to think hard about coming up with something witty, just leave the comment, "That's cat torture!" and watch everyone compliment you on your outstanding wit and humor.

Poor Anubis kitty would like to protest this treatment.

Really? A devil costume? But I am a good cat, I swear.
Ain't there laws against dressing your cat up for Halloween?

Seriously, my human is having far too much fun.