Monday, February 18, 2013

Trolls say that there are 20 Wiccan holidays

It is Tuesday, and we all know what time is. Yep, it is time for Morgan to get up on his soapbox, and take his hat off to someone who is a bigger troll than he is.

And today on Trollish Tuesday, the proud winner is Fox News. In a nushell, Fox News is this week's winner for insulting every Wiccan in the United States.

How did they do this? Let's see--Wicca has less members than Zoroastrianism (have you ever met an Zorastrian?!); all Wiccans are either complusive Dungeon and Dragons players or twice-divorced women living in a rural area and working as midwives; the religious freedom that Wiccans enjoy is because of "tradition" (I think that they are trying to imply that Christianity is built on religious freedom, or that it is Christianity that ensures that religious freedom happens in this country); and that Wiccan has too many holidays.

That last part is the tricky one. The university religion guide that they are complaining about lists the Wiccan holidays, which initially the news-things say represent twenty percent of the holidays listed. By the end of the segment, we have gone from twenty percent to twenty holidays.

Holidays that half of the Wiccan can't name. Well, I can name the eight that actually exist. I have no clue what the names of the other twelve are...but I imagine that their names are all variations of "Fox News is a bunch of poo throwing monkeys."

Fox News' real crime here--they can't do math, and believe that Wicca is being used to downgrade what is important to the majority of Americans--in other words, the right of Christianity to be the only recognized religion in the United States. Fox News do NOT tell me what I should be angry about; I am capable of being angry for reasons beyond your desire to keep me in my place--reasons such as I like Halloween better than I like Christmas.

And yes, Fox News--you are a bunch of bigots. By the way, the answer to the question "How many Wiccans can name every Wiccan Holiday?" is "Every Wiccan that underwent their initial year and a day training to be initiated into the religion." Of course, considering the fact that Fox News just invented a dozen new holidays, we all need to retake that course...but give us a week, I am sure that we will embrace the new holidays (because it is the only reason that Fox News believes that you would choose to be Wiccan).

If you know any of the names of the unknown twelve Wiccan holidays (and their dates), please note them in the comment section. And if you are really irrate, there is a Facebook group to air your complaints on.


Jester Antonio Caowinhim said...

I'm thinking that the other 12 holidays are the full moons of the year...I'm not sure though.

Morgan Eckstein said...

There are 13 full moons in the space of a even that can't be used by Fox News to explain their mistake. And (having now looked at the list), only the eight big Wiccan holidays are listed; there are no mention of full moons, or dark moons, or anything like that. And given the fact that there was 47 holidays (from about twelve religions), 8 holidays represent 17% and not the 20% that Fox News claimed.

S.V. said...

Grrrr...Fox "News"...

PhoenixAngel said...

Great post Morgan...that noosecast from Faux Noose really angered me. The jackasses had the audacity to stereotype a group of people that have so much diversity in color, socioeconomic level and education. I don't personally ever watch the wanna-be yellow paper TV version of the tabloid.

The thought does bring up a the notion that, in general Americans need more holidays and time off. SO WHAT? if the University of Missouri wants to acknowledge some other holidays? Hey, I could stand a couple more days off, too many are set aside in November, December and January and a good student would make sure to balance study time with spiritual time anyway. I think the spiritual time is the time we need to recharge our batteries.