Everything you need to know about the history of the Golden Dawn flame war

[This blog post was written February 13, 2015, and was never published because everyone said that the days of the Flame Wars! were over---I am publishing it today because someone just started screaming that someone was trying to start a new flame war against them.]

The history of the twenty year plus long Golden Dawn flame war is (more or less) as follows:

In the late 1990s, two different Orders trademarked the name "Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn." One was based in Europe, and the other one was based in the United States. The trademark was fought over in a lengthy court battle, a battle that also spilled over onto the internet.

In addition to this, two GD gurus decided that they wanted to turn Golden Dawn into a business, one where they had the monopoly over the entire Golden Dawn system. To help accomplish this, both parties also fought it out on the internet by defaming the other party, and anyone who supported them.

Both of these battles resulted in at least one party using sock puppets and their human followers to post the most vicious and nasty lies that they could think of to describe the other parties and people that they wanted out of the Golden Dawn business.

During the course of all this, sooner or later, everyone got called a Neo-Nazi, Satanist, and a criminal. Needless to say, there is a lot of hurt feelings.

Who is guilty? Well, each party involved blames someone(s) else for the whole nine yards.

So basically, some parties decided that it made good business sense to call other people names, in order to convince students of the Golden Dawn system that they were the only logical choice to teach and lead Golden Dawn, given the fact that all of the other Golden Dawn leaders and teachers were complete and utter dogs intent on ripping people off and using them for their own evil pleasure.

As always, remember "Buyer Beware!" for some people are very good at appearing to be other than what they really are.

Trump urges you to vote with bullets

Hey ye all gun owners who believe that the Second Amendment means that you, and only you, have the final say in how this country works, just remember...

"Use your fucking guns and make me your King!"

..."If [Hillary Clinton wins the election and] gets to pick her judges, [there is] nothing you can do, folks. Although the Second Amendment people--maybe there is, I don't know."

And remember that Donald Trump truly cares for you, and believes that you assassinating a President other than him is completely legal, and that you mighty gun owners can beat the United States military in a civil war, so that you can install him into office as your King, err, President-for-Life. And he totally promises that after you kill Hillary and her VP, and make him the rightful ruler that he will not come and nuke you and your guns back into the Stone Age.

Remember that if he does not get elected, it totally proves that the election was stolen from him, and that you should march on Washington and shot all those damn liberals who hug Muslims, hire Mexicans, and are ruining your life, right in the face, so that he can take over and make your lives totally better.

OMG Trump hair survived

A month ago, I made a video of "A witch binds Trump in a bizarre witchcraft ritual"--it is how I chose to celebrate the Fourth of July...because dammit! freedom of speech and religion are two things that the Constitution promises me. The ritual consisted of me reading a short little statement about how I was binding him in the name of Wicca, especially in the name of any witches that he would like to burn. Yes, I thought it was ironic to use a poppet and fire to perform this ritual, given that statement, and the likelihood that President-for-Life Trump might turn us all into piles of radioactive ash; but hey, if one can't use irony in one's work, where can one use it.

My video got some witches upset. Some of which declared that they were going to send protection energies to Trump, so that the binding would not work....I guess some people are really looking forward to Trump trashing the economy, expelling all the Muslims, suspending the Constitution, ignoring basic human rights, and nuking the entire planet back into the Stone Age.

Other commenters declared that I only wanted attention...well, yes, I am a blogger, writer, and artist--of course, I want attention---and I am guessing that they did not realize that making comments about me is a form of attention.

Of course, the comments that made me laugh the most were the ones that complained about my voice. I went though twelve years of speech therapy as a kid, so just imagine what my voice was like when I was younger. And if you have to resort to making fun of my voice....well, I am guessing that you are struggling to come up with a reason why this video was wrong.

But never fear ye who would like to see Trump press all the Big Red Buttons and ensure that he is the last President that you will ever need, Trump survived the binding.

Or at least, his hair did. Yep, that is right---the binding failed to destroy his hair. And I used plenty of the hex-master secret weapon--lighter fluid. I always said that the thing on his head was an evil entity controlling him; and hey, you can't prove me wrong.

Here is all the proof you need that Trump hair can survive anything.

Of course, his hair would survive.

I discovered this unburnt piece of the Trump poppet when I went to clean out the BBQ grill.

Opps, it did not all burn.

This can't be good, can it?

So rejoice all ye who want to see Trump become President-for-Life, and have him completely rewrite the Constitution to ensure that only angry white men are allowed to live in the United States, to work in the USA, and to have a voice in how the USA does things--his hair, the most important part of him survived to insult you another day.

Grab your popcorn and watch as Trump expels all Muslims, shoots all Mexicans, sends all the blacks back to Africa, helps South Korea invade China, nukes Israel, and ensures that the American economy becomes the worst in the world with his brand new taxes that will only be paid by poor people because the poor are losers, and it does not matter if you tax the poor (yes, I know he says businesses will pay the taxes, but you how do you think they are going to get the money to do so---yes, that's right---the rich are going to take the money from your wallet). Just remember if you are a veteran, a family member of a veteran, not white, handicapped in any way, a member of the media (who will be sued for all their money before being shot dead in the face), a non-Christian, you are probably a loser. And if you are poor (not a member of the 1%), you are definitely a loser, and it is ok for the winners (the 1%) to enslave and kill you at their leisure.

Because there ain't nothing killing his hair. All hail President-for-Life Trump!--the last President you will ever need.

Center of the middle (Tarot Blog Hop)

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In this Tarot Blog Hop, wrangled by Aisling the Bard, we were asked to look at "union of opposites." There were two suggestions of how to approach this, and I am only ambitious enough to deal with one of them. In this case, I am choosing to discuss a card that is "two things at once"--a card that represents (at least in my mind) two opposing elemental energies.

For years, I have been fascinated by the Eight of Wands. In the "A.E. Waite /Rider" Tarot deck created by Pamela "Pixie" Colman Smith, the Eight of Wands is represented by eight staves flying though the air.

As a Wand card, it is obviously Fire, kind of a flaming meteor type of fire. The Eight of Wands works quickly. But it can also be destructive, kind of like a meteorite. Or a hail storm or thunder storm.

It is this secondary imagery of a violent rain storm, complete with lightning, hail, and lashing rain,  that makes me also associate this card with the element of Water. It is the type of storm that leads to flash floods. Again, a destructive aspect.

Now, there is a positive aspect to "making it rain"---one can get lucky with this card---often in the form of rapid money. Or good news. But as some people learn, success, wealth, and good luck can rapidly change your environment and your life---and for many people, even a positive disruption is stressful.

Pixie after Warhol (Eight of Wands).

 And here is where I go slightly off-beam from the theme of this blog hop. The stress aspect of this, plus the way the staves are flying though the air, also adds in my mind, a layer of Air to this card. Again, it is a rapid changing atmosphere associated with this card, the vehicle which this card acts is often the stuff of the mind--passions, fears, and thoughts.

Yet this Air aspect is offset with the fact that this card often signals a change in success, luck, wealth, things that depend on a physical, material basis to earth and ground them out. If it was merely the imagery of Fire, or Water, or Air, this card would not nearly be as drastic as it is. But because the changes quite often are ones in the material world, this card also a lot of Earth energy around it too.

So in my mind, both sets of opposing elements, Fire & Water, and Air & Earth, affect the meaning and effects that this card has. And as such, it is the card that best represents a center of the middle, a balance between opposites, type of Tarot card for me.

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Prophets Visit (a new art series)

My latest art project is photographs of the Prophets and Sages and Gods of various religions visiting famous places around the world...because it is art, dammit! And maybe, just maybe a little bit of mystic mumbo-jumbo social / religious / political commentary about how the founders and deities of various religions are just tourists and really fun to hang out with...because I am insane, dammit! And before you scream Sacrilege! and Heresy! and Blasphemy!--remember that I grew up in the arms of Wicca, and other pot smoking hippy religious philosophies...because my parents allowed me to hang out with my aunt, dammit!

If you want to follow the art series, stalk me on DeviantArt...because I am a very humorous artist, dammit!

And remember for just a dollar a month, you can encourage my insanity on Patreon...because I have bills to pay, dammit!

Or you could just buy random stories and rants from me on Amazon...because I have a soapbox and I am not afraid to use it, dammit!

Three Prophets visit the Denver Broncos at Mile Hi.

In this installment, three Prophets (Moses, Muhammad, and Jesus) visit the Mile High city and decide to take in a football game at Sports Authority Field at Mile Hi. Knowing that the Denver Broncos are better than the Oakland Raiders, they dress accordingly. Go Broncos!

Join the Order and get a free gun!

Hi, I am the Imperial Porker, the bestest occult leader, teacher, and all around guru, and do I have a special offer for you today.

As you know, I am a firm believer that more guns will make the world a safer place. You want to end mass shootings in theaters? The answer is More Guns! You want to end toddlers shooting people? More Guns! You want politicians to be honest? More guns! Do you want students in school to be safe? More guns! More guns! More guns!

We need to arm every man, woman, and child in the world. Well, not the Muslims, and probably not the blacks, and I am pretty sure that armed black magicians represent the greatest threat to freedom that the universe has ever seen--and you know that you can trust my judgment for I am the bestest occult leader, teacher and all around guru that the universe has ever seen. And you know it is true because super secret sauce making alchemists say that it is so--I would provide emails and tweets from them, but I can't because that is how super special secret their sauce is. And they would also like you to vote for Cheeto-Jesus who will make 'Murica great again with the aid of that tentacled thing that he uses as a wig. 

But I digress.

Back to the super special offer I have for you today--which I thought of while watching the news from Colorado, we have to keep an eye on those pot smoking bush lurking bloggers out there and the funny ideas that come out of their state because there is one blogger that really hates me, and uses me as a character in his satire all the time, and while he claims someone else wrote that I said everyone poops, I know that it was really him. I am smart that way. And he would never think of stealing someone else's character anymore than he could possibly come up with a reasonable political argument about why ferret wearers should not be allowed to allowed near big red buttons marked "What does destroy the economy mean?" and "Make everyone glow in the dark." Nor can he come up with a single believable reason why more guns actually will create more gun violence, and why grandma armed at the mall will add a dozen more deaths to the next mass shooting, or why my imaginary friends are not real. He is dumb that way, and you know that you can trust me for I am the bestest occult leader, teacher, and guru that the world has ever seen.

But I digress.

Back to the special offer that is exclusively available to you--you who have not sent me a big payment though PayPal yet---which makes you very lucky because it allows you to take advantage of this very special offer that I have for you today. Where was I? Oh yes, Colorado! which despite its trollish laws allowing angry lying bloggers to write horrible satire, also dreams up the very best promotions, which might be because some of its citizens rightfully embrace guns, and not pot. Because you know all pot smokers are lazy and crazy, and all gun owners are completely rational and the hardest workers---you can't find anyone more rational and hard working than gun owners, who never dream of shooting hundreds of people, nor ever consider robbing banks and slapping whores.

But I digress.

Back to Colorado, and its wonderful marketing idea. Inspired by the holy document, written by the great American prophets that we call the Founding Fathers, who never smoked pot, and completely understood that trademarks are absolutely necessary to make people feel secure that they are only buying the best stuff, and that God wanted 'Murica to be a Christian only country where you were safe to burn evil alien reptiles hellbent on enslaving people---King George was a reptile from Ursa Minor Gamma, you know it is true because I shared that truth on Facebook, along with the emails that prove that Hillary Clinton is totally responsible for chemtrails, horrible bed hair falling out, and the terrorists blowing up in your very own house, just coming in without knocking, and eating all your bacon before they press the big red button that says "Fear and more fear--the Muslims are going to kill us all unless we arm your grandma!"

Wait...where was I?

Oh yes, glorious Colorado where the tyranny of two thousand roofing companies has left one roofing company desperate to make a name for themselves the only way anything is ever improved in 'Murica---yes, that is right---more guns! Yes, one brave Colorado roofing company beset by other roofing companies that probably employ low paid non-tax paying evil Mexican murderers and rapists, who must be stopped with more guns and the greatest reality TV show star ever, is now offering to give you a free gun with every roof you purchase. Just think about it--they know that it is not the roof that keeps the ice, snow, rain and hail out of the house, but rather it is that big shiny fully loaded assault rifle. Yes, that is right--bad weather is afraid of guns--you never seen someone whose house got blown away have it happened when they are armed with a gun. Never. You can't find a single clip of someone saying that a gun did not protect their house from the weather gods--not a single one.

But I digress.

 And if it works for this brave and besieged roofer, who probably got the idea from Ted Cruz who gave everyone who signed up for his mailing list a free gun, and we all know how well it worked for him, he is sure to be President after the Cheeto dies of old age after bitterly holding onto the office for a hundred thousand years, or killing all the South Koreans with an atomic bomb, or--well...wait--where was I?

Oh yes, roof and guns, they go together like peanut butter and sardines---yummy---and I was thinking that if guns could make roofs better, then what else could guns make great. Donuts! Donuts are better with guns. And third wives. Better with guns. Just the other day, Cheeto was telling me about his plan to make 'Murica great again by expelling all the non-Christians, and giving everyone a gun wrapped in bacon, and how sexy his daughter was while holding a gun, and I can just picture it, and...oh, yeah, I almost forgot the most important that guns make great--magic!

That is right. I am proud to make the announcement that my Order, and maybe Kitchen Sink's, and that French guy, and that clown down in Waco, and---well, there are a few of us who know that more guns automatically lead to world peace and less crime---my Order is now proud to offer you a free fully automatic machine gun assault rifle and laser butter knife with every Order membership that you buy. Yes, that is right--the bestest and most advanced lessons in magic will now be accompanied with hot lead and buttered toast. And all for the cheap, cheap annual fee of $93. That is right, a free gun and the most economically priced occult course in the world together at last. [Membership does not include rental of the text book which is a bargain at $666 dollars a year, yes, because the book is that good that you will gladly give me more money to share it with you.]

But Imperial Porker, does it make good esoteric sense to give every one a free gun with their membership? Yes, it does. I have made it my life mission to make magical training cheap for everyone because it is everyone's right to hex their co-workers, sacrifice their neighbor's children, and wear all the black clothing that they want. And besides believing that more magic and witchcraft will make everything better, I also firmly believe that more guns will make everyone safer, and what better way to ensure that there are more guns out there than making sure that you can stop at the grocery store on the way to your lodge or coven meeting, and show everyone your brand new shiny gun? You know how people are--if they see all the cool witches and magicians packing a gun, then they too will want to own an assault rifle to carry everywhere. Who is cooler and safer than a magician or witch with a gun? No one.

But Imperial Porker, what if I can't pass a background check? No problem--the only background check we do is to see if your PayPal payment makes its way into our account. Because anyone who promptly pays their Order dues is truly an honest citizen who would never dream of hurting anyone. Remember more guns make everyone safer---there are no exceptions to this rule---well, other than Muslims, and black magicians, and maybe Mexicans, and...never mind---everyone in the world needs to be armed with a gun. And you know it is true because I say so, and I am the bestest occult leader, teacher and guru that has ever lived. Bathe in the glory of my porkness!

Remember at my Order, our motto is Join for the Mysteries--Stay for the guns!

{And now for something completely different---there is actually a roofer offering to give customers a free gun, an assault rifle, with every roof they buy---and Ted Cruz, and a couple politicians, have held contests for free guns in exchange for signing up to support their campaigns. America--you are simply strange.}

Join for the mysteries. Stay for the guns!

Morgans rule of political realism

Morgan's rule of political realism: If an underhanded method of hoodwinking the public has any likelihood of actually occurring, then it did.

Drake's corollary to Morgan's rule: All politicians are dishonest.

Blackbeard's corollary to Drake's corollary: Especially when large sacks of gold or voters are involved.