Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy! (Real reason that the Hollywood cesspool and other cesspools exist)

Recently, there has been an uptick in horrible things happening to good people. There have been an increase in the number of immigrants, house foreclosures, jobs being lost, tires falling off of the back of trucks, sexual harassment accusations, Confederate statues being taken down, satiric writers not shutting up, gun rights being threaten by people who have no desire to shoot other people, and that horrible woman Hillary Clinton almost becoming President of the United States of America. And all these horrible things are caused by the same thing:

Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!

That Wall not being built: Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Parking ticket: Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Not getting a raise at work:  Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Bank says that they want their money: Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Loan shark says that they want their money:  Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Your horse not winning their race:  Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Toaster trying to electrocute you:  Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Killer Chinese satellite falling on your house:  Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Your favorite politician being falsely accused of sexual harassment:  Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Your favorite media talking head being falsely accused of sexual harassment: Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Your favorite Hollywood bigshot being falsely accused of sexual harassment: Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Vatican sex scandal:  Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Your least favorite politician actually committing sexual harassment:  Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Your least favorite media talking head actually committing sexual harassment:  Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Some Hollywood bigshot you hate actually committing sexual harassment: Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Being told that Alt-Right is just another term for "F***ing Nazi": Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Mass shootings:  Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Pot becoming legal: Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Liberals continuing to have civil rights:  Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
Least favorite critic continuing to breathe in and out: Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!
The ice cream parlor being out of your favorite flavor: Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!

And you know that it must be true when the world's greatest occultist and lover tells you...

"Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy! is why the world is a hot damn mess."

Because that explanation is so much more reasonable than "Human beings, especially men, abuse power whenever they acquire it."

For instance, there is no way that Hollywood turned into a cesspool in the thirties when men realized that there was money to be made making movies. There is no way that the hundred plus production companies of the 1910s and 1920s being brought up and condensed into a mere dozen in the 1930s and 1940s resulted in a situation where a handful of men could force women to have sex with them if they wanted to keep working. There is no way that these powerful men could convince their companies to sweep such behavior under the rug, paying off the most dangerous and uncomfortable accusations, putting clauses into their contracts that they (the powerful men) could have all the accusations they wanted as long as they paid fines, and enact self-censoring rules that ensured that no one could make a movie or television series about what was really going on. There is no way that power was condensed in the hands of a few men in such a way that it became a running joke in Hollywood that certain men in Hollywood controlled the entire careers of female actors because no one could actually talk seriously about the issue of sexual harassment if they wanted to continue working in Hollywood.

And there is absolutely no way that Wall Street, Washington D.C., Silicon Valley, mega-churches, network journalism, monolithic esoteric traditions, and a score of other industries that this blogger is too lazy to mention by name, had suffered the same type of power hoarding by men, so that they could also sexually harass any woman that they wanted to.

Hell, even the Bible has sexual harassment in it, saying that men are allowed to rape women as long as they pay a fine for violating virgins. There is absolutely no way that the Bible was actually written by men who held power and decided that they liked abusing the power that they hoarded.

No, it is far more reasonable that it was all the result of...

Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!

Furthermore, it is more reasonable that only those who do not share your particular political opinions are actually doing such misdeeds while those of your political mindset are being falsely accused. It is just a joke when your favorite politician says that they have committed sexual harassment on a live microphone, but completely true when your most hated and loathed enemy politician is accused of supporting a Satanic baby sacrifice ring. There is no way that your approval and white-washing of the deeds of those who share your political mindset is helping create the problem. There is no way that you have been tricked by false news and fast talking. No, that is can't be true; it must be a...

Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!

After all, that allows you to have a righteous hate of those who do not look and think like you do. It allows you to take part in a righteous crusade to free the world from a Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy! It makes you one of the good guys. It allows you to look forward to killing people that you do not like because they have to be part of a Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!

And in no way, are you being played by a Conspiracy to Control How You Think and Act, Pay Dues to, What you Buy, and What to Watch and Read, and Who to Vote for, by some people who decided that your hot button, the thing that makes you stupid is the idea that all your troubles are being caused by a Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy! After all, for that to be true, there would have to be a...

Global Satanic Enslaver Black Magician Conspiracy!

If you were ok with Trump's "grab them by the pussy" comment, then you are part of the problem.

Trump and immigration (why I cannot agree to kick everyone out)

On Tuesday, the greatest American patriot ever, President Donald "He is Jesus--and he is going to save us from the wrath of God!" Trump is probably going to do his best to turn the United States of America back into the all-white 1950s version of America that his supporters voted for.

Yes, he is going to look at the Dreamers, those immigrants who were brought to this country as kids by their illegal immigrant parents, and say, "Yes, I realize that you have been raised in this country, and that you consider yourselves Americans, but my voters want a completely white America, so you are going to be deported. But don't worry, my supporters are also going to demand that blacks be sent back to Africa, and Asians sent back to China, and I bigly support the idea that they should be because none of them voted for me, and I must make America more white if I want to ensure that I am President-for-Life."

Or something like that.

(By the way, there are actually Trump supporters who want to deport all black people back to Africa, even though some of their families [black families, that is] have been living here since before the American Revolution....because you can't be a real American if you are not one hundred percent white. Exactly where in Africa, Trump supporters want to deport blacks to, is a little fuzzy.)

The idea held by Trump supporters, or at least this particular sub-set, is that illegal immigrants (and legal ones for that matter) are taking good paying jobs from honest white Americans.

Having worked alongside those in the Dreamer category, I have a bit of bad news for these white Americans---you didn't want the jobs when we offered them to you.

Yes, I said that white Americans will not accept the jobs that immigrants are doing. Or at least, not the type of jobs that I was trying to fill.

For the one person who does not know, I used to manage a restaurant of the fast food variety ("not fast food--good food fast" as one of the owners used to say).

I started out working in food service after failing high school (because my mom insisted that babysitting my siblings was more important than my homework), after being discharged from the military (because my father died in a truck accident, and I was supposed to go back home and take care of my siblings), and having no other option.

It was a horrible job. The hours were bad. You reeked of grease and smoke (and possibly onions). The pay was low as minimum wage law allowed. Your schedule could change at a moment's notice. ("Punch out--labor is too high, but don't leave--you will need to punch back in once the dinner rush starts.") And no white person with decent chances at better employment would ever take the job.

I worked alongside of people whose parents were illegal: some of which who were born in this country, others not. Many of them couldn't speak a word of Spanish. And they consider themselves Americans, not Mexicans.

Often I was the "token white guy," the only white guy working in a crew of forty or so. The other occasional white person often fell into a category that your typical stereotype Trump supporter would like to outlaw: poor college students, art school graduates, gays and lesbians--you know the type. 

And when I became a manager, quite honestly, I filled the jobs with who I could. Given the restrictions on pay and benefits, and the delightful working conditions, it was seldom that a white person would apply for a position that I was trying to fill.

(And I was trying to find employers for fast food--don't get me started about lettuce and fruit picking jobs that no white person is ever going to be willing to do.)

Plus, a good percentage of my customers were immigrants or children of immigrants--the non-white type.

(One of the reasons that I do not hold 9/11 against all Muslims is that I was managing a Greek restaurant at the time--and my Middle Eastern customers were more horrified by the terrorism than my white customers.)

So that is reason one about why I am automatically against kicking all the nasty immigrants out.

(By the way, one of the reasons that people insist that we must get rid of all the immigrants is that their neighborhoods are crime filled cesspools. I somehow missed all the crime--the worst danger I faced was that a girlfriend might insist that I become a Catholic. Oh wait, some "real" Americans consider being Catholic a crime, much like being a Muslim or a Jew, or for that matter, being a witch and pagan.)

Second reason is that I grew up in mixed race neighborhoods. Outside of visits to my parent's hometown in Nebraska, a brief stay in a trailer park (before I was seven), and five years in a northeast Colorado town (the whitest place I have ever been), I have always lived in mixed neighborhoods.

(The northeast Colorado town is why I was confident in my prediction that Trump would win the election--I lived with those people who embraced Trump--it was only a matter of time before they tried to stone me to death for my odd beliefs in diversity and religious choice.)  

For instance, when my father brought a place in the Five Points, there was two Hispanic families, two black families, a Polish family, a Chinese family, and us (German-Jew)--all within an one block radius. It is hard to embrace a pure white America when one spent most of one's afternoons at the black neighbors house (who I knew better than my own biological grandparents) watching reruns of Star Trek.

(Yes, Star Trek...one can assume that did not help any when it came to my adult views on immigration.)

And that level of racial diversity was also seen when my father took me to construction job sites.

Essentially, my life experience says that neighborhoods are supposed to be mixed race and culture. Yes, I know that I am committing a great sin not viewing all non-whites are the enemy, but what the heck, it is not like me being a German-Jew is a mark in my favor on the real white American scorecard.

Third and the most important reason that I am against kicking out all the immigrants (legal, illegal, Dreamers) and closing the borders to further immigration is: My wife is an ESL teacher. 

(ESL: English as a Second Language)

My household's bread and butter comes from the existence of immigrants in our society. My wife is working a second Master degree in this field. And she makes far more money than I ever will (because I chose to be a writer in a time where writing is no longer a viable career choice--if it ever was).

You kick out all the immigrants, and close the borders, to save American jobs--and my wife, a white American, loses her job. And that is just the tip of the iceberg of the effect that removing immigrants from the economy will have. (I could go into horrific detail....but if you are a Trump supporter who believes that your job went away because of an immigrant, nothing I can say will change your mind.)

And that reason alone, all by itself, is reason enough for me to be opposed to Trump's vision of a pure white America without immigrants in it. After all, all politics are local--and my own local household economy depends upon the existence of immigrants.

But my wife losing her livelihood is probably ok if you are a Trump supporter who hates and fears immigrants....because I imagine that if you desire an all-white immigrant-free America, then I also imagine that you want to burn me at the stake for not being the all-white church going Christian that all Americans should be--something about me being a pagan witch and the grandson of German-Jew immigrants that needs to be arrested and deported back to Germany, despite the fact that I have never lived in Germany--all because America is about white America, and not about the dreams of non-white immigrants seeking a better life. 

This is what America is supposed to look like according to Trump.

Rich people are good (apologies to rich people for saying otherwise)

Earlier today, I shared a political cartoon of Trump standing on a pillar and pissing on a person of the middle class. And I said, that...

Having worked for people with money, and having seen first-hand how they treat their employees, I can firmly state that giving the rich more money does not create jobs for anyone else.

To which, someone pointed out that this is an unfair generalization, and that I should be ashamed of myself for implying that rich people make bad employers and that giving more money to the rich will not create any more wealth, or jobs, or happiness for the middle class.

So in the way of an apology, here is a long-ass philosophical argument that proves that you should not listen to me, and should always assume that the rich are great and wonderful people who are much better than you are because they have more money than you do---and that is the only sign that you need to gauge someone's goodness is plain simple money stacked up to the ceiling.

Let's begin...

So basically, we should assume that only the best rich people are getting the tax breaks, and continue doing as we have been doing because any evidence to the contrary is an insult to the occasional good rich person. We should also assume that the only bad rich people are the ones that I have personally encountered, and that none of the rest of them are bad at all, despite any mathematical based economic data that indicates that there has to be far more bad ones than just the ones that I can personally account for, and which seems to indicate that on the average, rich people must be a bunch of greedy bastards, because well, we don't want to create an unfair socialist law that will hurt the good rich people who are less able to survive the additional financial burden than the poor people that the few bad rich people do abuse, all of which are accounted for by my own personal experience. And with this much better generalization, one that says that the only bad rich people are the ones that come in contract with me and me alone, we can safely vote for SOMERICHGUYORLADY 2016 who will wisely have me shot at dawn because it will remove the bad rich person curse from the world, and everyone, other than me, who should be dead because I keep encountering bad rich people, will be much better off and live happily ever after using the economic principle that only rich people create jobs.


And that is why I hate economic philosophy and Republican Jesus---because the equations and assumptions that people are generally good, and all the bad ones somehow the result of my presence in the universe, always end up with me having to die to make the universe an economically fair place.

 Of course, I am one of those evil people who believe that the health of our economy actually requires average (not rich) people having more money to spend, which creates a demand for new jobs to fill the need to make products and provide services, which in turn...well, let's just say that my theory says that it is better for your average person to have more money than a rich person being able to afford a bigger yacht.
But then again, we do know for a fact, because we have been told by good rich people, that the only reason that poor people are poor is that they are simply just too damn lazy and are not willing to work for less money. Of course, I am making the assumption here that Trump is actually a good rich person and that the slim economic data that we have on him is completely misleading. But given that I am poor and he is rich, we know that I must be wrong about him, and therefore, he is completely right in saying that the minimum wage is too high already, and that it needs to be dialed back in order for the true job creators, the filthy rich, can create more jobs.

One should also ignore any evidence that seems to indicate that rich people like to hoard money and hide it offshore because in truth, it is unfair to expect rich people to pay their fair share of taxes, leaving the entire tax burden on those who are not wholesome enough to move their money out of the United States. After all, poor people are used to being poor, and if they were better at working harder than they too would have the money, and the moral obligation to hide their money offshore. We should not punish good rich people, just because the evidence says that the average rich person has less morals than Scrooge McDuck.



And reading this, I realize that it is really sad that I chose to be a literary critic and historian, with only a minor interest in protecting rich people, because based on what I just wrote, I would be brilliant at proving that rich people are good, and that all the evil people in the world are poor.

 Hell, I would have made a great spokesperson for Trump.

So dear rich people, I am so sorry that I have accused you of being evil, just because I have had the misfortune in running into the only evil/bad rich people in America. But I am still going to do my best to avoid the righteous firing squad because I am an evil poor person who does not care about how unfortunate it is for you to be rich, and the fact that I keep creating anomalies that indicate that rich people are selfish bastards.

Donate money so I can play the lottery (I think this was an attempt at humor)

A screenshot taken before GoFundMe said Hell No!

One of the odd things that people use GoFundMe for is for making jokes. Today, a joker by the name of Cinnamon Nicole posted a GoFundMe campaign saying that her family had spent all their money playing Powerball, and were in dire need of cash. Some people seemed to miss the fact that it was a joke. Or at least, I presume that it was a joke considering that Nicloe said, "I'm certain that we will be able to pick ourselves up from the trenches of this lost [sic] and spend another fortune trying to hit it big again!" Nicole's GoFundMe was asking for 100K. GoFundMe killed the joke, saying that it violated their terms and conditions (I think they have an anti-gambling clause in there some place). Here is a big thumbs up to Nicole for a delightful joke.

Fourth Western Mystery Conference cancellation followup (fund for ticket refunds)

As most of you know, last month Jeffrey Lee Contreras (S.O.M.A.--Society of Magical Artists) was forced to cancel the Fourth Western Mystery Conference. In the aftermath, several people asked if I knew how they might help Contreras deal with the debts that the Conference created.


A donation page has been set up on the S.O.M.A. website. You can donate $10 or $25 dollars, or multiplies of those amounts. *Here is the link to the donation page.*


For those who are curious, the current debts still not covered are:


Ticket refunds--$2550 (I understand that Contreras sent off three refunds yesterday).

Plane ticket reimbursements for the speakers--$540 (it might only be $402, but I understand that depends upon the good graces of an airline, so I am listing the higher amount).


Venue cost ($2500 deposit---gone) $1077 still owed unless the venue rents out the space for that weekend (if the venue does rent out the space, the venue might lower this amount).


Jeffrey Lee Contreras is asking for donations to help him issue the ticket refunds. Contreras plans on covering the rest out of his own pocket.


(And I must admit that I admire the fact that he plans on hosting future events [smaller and more frequent and less expensive]. I am not sure that I would be willing to stop forward again so soon after a bad economic implosion like this.)

Fourth Western Mystery Conference has been cancelled

Jefferey Lee Contrersas (S.O.M.A.--Society of Magical Artists) announced yesterday that the Fourth Western Mystery Conference has been cancelled.

And I wish that I could say that it was a big surprise; but last month based on things I heard though back channels, I suspected that it was going to have to be cancelled. Quite simply, there were not enough ticket sales to pull it off.

Unfortunately, Contrersas sunk a lot of money into this project, going into debt to try to make it   happen. And he might still be on the hook for even more money---the venue is going to charge him an extra twenty-five percent on top of the deposit that Contrersas had already gave them, if they can't find someone else to rent out the building for that weekend. Every dime that Contrersas took in from ticket sales went towards the non-refundable deposit on the venue. And yes, that means that ticket refunds are going to take some time to occur.

(Plus, a lot of attendees are going to be out hotel deposits and plane ticket fares.)

[Update 2015.10.22: A follow-up post concerning a donation page to help with ticket refunds.]

And now, that I relayed the news, it is time for Mad Uncle Morgan's soapbox.

Please note that I am not talking to those who buy tickets to such events, or who actually buy occult books, or pay lodge dues. I am just talking to the whiners who want to see these things done for free or dirt cheap.

For those people who complain that there are not enough magic and occult conventions, this is why there are so few. You all want them, but a high percentage of you are unwilling to pay for them (and ticket sales is how these events get funded...well, outside of the massive money sunk that the organizers suffer). And yes, it boils my blood when I encounter someone who argues that there should be no cost for attending such events (because that monetary burden should not be dumped on the people who spend their time and energy organizing such events).

It is a lot of work to put on such an event, and it requires a massive budget and bankroll to pull events off.

If you want events, you have to be willing to buy tickets to such events. You also need to spread the word about such events. These events don't just magically happen.

And while I am at it, the same goes for occult books. I just loathe those people who think that occult writers should write and distribute occult books for free. No. No. No. It is an insult to occult writers to expect them to give up time, energy, and personal experience to feed your need for occult books, and to do it all for free. If you want new occult books, you need to accept the fact that writers need to be paid for their hard work.

Same goes for working Orders. Running an occult Order is hard work, robs one of personal and magical time, and is a pain in the ass. Yes, there are a few crooks out there (which some of you have no problem giving money to---is it you paying for the sizzle, and not the steak?). But most Orders are operating at a loss.

Oh, there is no local magical lodge. Are you willing to pay for one to exist? Oh no! That's why there ain't one in your neighborhood.

I don't care how much you do not like it---money makes the wheels go round. Remember that the next time, you want one of the leaders in the occult community to do something for free.

Growing up poor 1 (31-HP Day 15)

Trailer park
Mixed neighborhood
Condemned houses
Father blackballed from job
Forced into business
Cheated by partner
All lost, all gone
No escape from poverty

One heater only
Three boys one room
Five girls other room
My mattress on the floor
A few scattered toys
Books read a dozen times
Canning stored in crawlspace
Vegetable garden in the yard

Food stamps
Government cheese
School breakfasts
Kindness of strangers
Gaunt and shy
Too short for my age
Bad teeth
Bad headaches

Harsh truths
Learned too soon
Always worried
Always hungry
No Santa Claus
No Easter Bunny
Sacrificing self
For the good of others

Then you wonder
Why I sympathize
Why I fight
Why I associate
With the downtrodden
You forget where I came from
I am one of the poor
Still in the back of my mind

Rant--helping the poor is in your best interest (UBC--day 12)

Apologizes to all who have been following the Halloween (witchy) poetry series. But this morning, I was reading a post by one of the other bloggers doing the Ultimate Blog Challenge and I feel a rant coming on; therefore, it is probably best that I just get up on my soapbox and address the issue that I am raging about today.

(For those who are curious to read the post in question, it is "Rant--stop hating on the poor for not being 'poor enough'" that you can read here.)

Dear people who think that the poor are not poor enough to deserve help,

Let me appeal not to your human decency, which I presume that you do not have, but rather to your enlightened self-interest. There are good reasons that you want to make sure that the poor have roofs over their heads, warm clothes, working fridges, cable TV, computer games, internet access, and phone service. Quite simply, it is in your best interest to make sure that the poor have these things.

Why? Because you do not want to die.

No, I am not talking about an armed uprising. Your life will be endangered long before the poor take up guns to take away your belongings. Why? Because we live in the same areas that you do.

And more importantly, we occasionally handle your food.

Stop and think about it. The poor need clean water, safe and healthy living conditions, including warm clothes and working fridges, simply because without them, the poor are a pandemic just waiting to happen. And don't think that your money and holiness will protect you from a raging disease that starts and spreads among the poorer citizens (and non-citizens) of your nation. It just takes one bad contact and the disease will leap to those who have money.

A pandemic can wipe a large hunk of the population out. I can hear you say, "Good, less poor people." Just keep thinking that--because poor people will not be the only ones to die in such an event.

The 1918 Spanish Flu killed off fifty million people (3% of the world's population at the time). And it must readily killed off the healthy people, not the typical kids, elderly, and infirm that a typical outbreak kills off. Half of the deaths were adults between the ages of twenty and forty years old. And it did not care about your social and economic class either.

And the potential for a pandemic to develop in the poor populations of the civilized world increases once you start to take away basic survival items, such as working fridges.

Plus mistreating the poor will inconvenience you long before that. For instance, internet service--are you aware that many fast food restaurants are now only accepting online applications? No applications from the poor, especially those who need the aid (such as food stamps to supplement their dirt-poor wages), and you will have no one to serve you your Big Mac. Or bag your groceries. Or...well, the list goes on and on.

So just remember that if you get your way, and cut off aid to anyone who does not appear poor enough to deserve aid, that you will reap the benefits by gaining the health hazards of a third world nation (go to India and tour the poorer areas if you think that you might want to do it anyways).

Oh, and just remember that we live in an equal opportunity county. Just like everyone can work hard, or simply get lucky, and become rich, every person who is not living in poverty can become poor (stock market crashes, etc.).

Blessed be.

[And for anyone curious, I grew up poor, and have never made more than nineteen thousand a year--twenty years in restaurants making minimum wage or close thereof--hence my membership in the ranks of the poor...which is why this issue annoys the hell out of me, and why I am so well aware that poor people are touching your food.]

Only actual customers can effectively boycott a product

Yes, we are talking about this book again.

One of the things that has cropped up since Commentaries on the Golden Dawn Flying Rolls by the Golden Dawn Community has been published are people declaring that they refuse to buy a copy of this book because 1) they believe that the writers of the commentaries are not actually members of the real Golden Dawn community (aka HOGD/AO) and 2) because all the authors' royalties are going to the Golden Dawn Legal Defense Fund.

My personal response to this is still the same as the response that I had last year when I was asked if I wanted to write a commentary to one of the original Flying Rolls--I seriously doubt that anyone who will get upset by this book are potential customers of mine in the first place.

In other words, screaming boycott at me does not work if I believe that you would never buy one of my products even if I did give into your demands.

Plus, there is the little fact that I don't make a dime off of this book. Ever. Unless I include my commentary in a collection alongside other writing that I have done. Which I am quite sure that none of the boycotters would ever buy in the first place.

So where is the effect on my wallet?! I don't see one.

And if you actually think that you can scare off my potential customers, well good for you. Most of my potential customers don't even know who the HOGD/AO is. (Oh, I write occult stuff because I want to--my bread and butter writing is something completely different.)

As for the accusations that the HOGD/AO was locked out, I am surprised because I thought Christopher Bradford (Frater AIT) was a member of the HOGD/AO community. I guess once you leave the HOGD/AO, you are considered an outlaw because otherwise he would count as a HOGD/AO community member. It is too bad that he is no longer considered a member of the Golden Dawn community by HOGD/AO standards because he was the only member of the HOGD/AO that I actually liked.

By the way, having one of your high level members tell me last year that it was ok for my reputation to be destroyed because I wasn't a member of the HOGD/AO is not a way to endear me to your cause. Watching you set out to destroy the reputations of every GD writer outside the HOGD/AO also makes me loathe your cause.

As for the Legal Defense Fund, that is only a problem if you plan on going back to court. Are you planning on resuming the trademark lawsuit?! As I said in my quick video review of the book, you don't have to buy the book.

And if you are really upset by the fact that this book was written by a false GD community, put together your own project and publish it. Oh, wait you can't do that because you insist that everything important must remain secret and under the care of your entrusted gate keeper. Well, I guess you will just have to settle for the rest of us pretending to be a part of the GD community then.

So in closing, good luck with your protest comrades!

How many chickens for a Tarot reading?

One of the things that I have done in the past (something that I have been informed that I should be ashamed of) is doing Tarot readings for a fee. Yes, I have been a professional Tarot reader. Even worse is the fact that I have collected fees to cast spells for others. Obviously, I am not a member of the real RC...because we all know that in the real RC, only an Order Head collects a fee to do a task that is taking time away from their day job that pays their rent. (I half-joke here.)

Occasionally, when people find out that I used to do this for a profession (or sideline job), they ask me how much I charge. My answer, like most answers I give, is less than helpful and maybe a touch chaotic.

"How many chickens can you afford?"

Actually, I have never collected a chicken for a Tarot reading. But over the years, I did end up eating a lot of government cheese and peanut butter. (My wife wants me to point out that I will kindly accept government pork in exchange for Tarot readings--she actually like to use the cans of government pork to make tacos with.)

Why? Well, I was dealing with the poor. And they were getting government and food bank assistance. In fact, the only reason I wasn't getting assistance myself was that I was making a hundred dollars a year too much. (No joke.) Therefore, while they did not have chickens to pay me with, they had more than enourgh cheese and peanut butter to share.

If you think that this does not go on all the time, let me point out that there is an IRS rule that insists that services and goods obtained in barter is actual income, therefore must be reported to the IRS.

[The Norse rune Fehu, which some consider the source of our modern term "fee," means "cattle." Therefore, I should probably be collecting cows for my services...therefore, I am also willing to accept the government cans of beef also.]

How big is the Golden Dawn market part 3

[If you have a tendency to get upset about my posts that look at Golden Dawn from the viewpoint of a businessman and economist, you may want to go read something else instead. Maybe read or re-read the Harry Potter series---your high blood pressure will thank you.]

A few weeks ago, I was talking to a friend about how the current disagreements among the various Golden Dawn Orders look downright pleasant compared to the flame wars from a dozen years ago. When my friend asked me why the flame wars were worse a decade ago, I answered with what I believe is the true answer.

The flame wars were started by someone who wanted a monopoly.

My friend asked me to explain my reasoning for this answer, so I did.

One of the things that someone steeped in business like myself want to know about the Golden Dawn marketplace is how much you can get on average from each person in the market. It is not enourgh to know how many people there are in the market, you also need to know how much they are willing to spend.

The actions you take catering to such an audience depends upon your opinion of how much of the market will be interested in your product, and how much they are willing to pay for it.

Overall, I estimate that the average member of the Golden Dawn market is willing to shell out a hundred dollars beyond the cost of assembling such products every year. Please note that I am assuming that the product creators are getting paid for the expense of their products (books, membership packets, robes, tools, etc.); that the hundred dollars that we are talking about is the extra margin that the Golden Dawn consumer is willing to shell out per year beyond that cost.

A hundred dollars profit, that is it. And as you know from my previous posts in this series, I estimate that the Golden Dawn market is only maybe a thousand people all together. That is a hundred dollars worth of profit to be divided up among ALL the Golden Dawn product producers per Golden Dawn consumer every year.

In my case, I figure my market share will even be smaller than the whole, and the amount that they will be willing to give me nowhere near approaching the total they are willing to shell out to the entire market.

Figure a hundred people, a dime of profit each, during a good year. Therefore for me, devoting myself to Golden Dawn product production is not a sound economic decision. In my defense, I like talking about the Golden Dawn more than I love the sound of Gold-Pressed Latinum.

(Hey, I heard that groan. I have been told that I should use more Star Trek references on my blog...because Golden Dawn members really love Star Trek. Who would I be to ignore such potential profitable advice? Besides, this column does involve Ferengi-like behavior as you are about to see.)

But consider this---what if you could get ALL the members of the Golden Dawn market to give you ALL the money that they are willing to spend on Golden Dawn in a year? And continue to do so year after year?

A dozen years ago, someone tried to do exactly that.

Think about it. A hundred dollars times a thousand people equals...a hundred thousand dollars a year...equals a million dollars per decade.

But the only way to get all the money was to destory get the rest of us to leave the production end. So the biggest flame war in Golden Dawn history was started.

(Please note that this is a personal theory to explain what happened. Who the guilty party was depends upon who you talk to. And the guilty parties will promptly insist that I am wrong.)

The hoped-to-become monopolist doused everyone with gasoline and lit a match. People tossed back gasoline to defend themselves, their reputation, and their right to discuss Golden Dawn.

If you do not believe me about this theory, just wait until you see someone new come into the Golden Dawn who has decided that they want to be the only authority on the block. This economic theory explains their behavior just as well as theories saying that their egos are out of control.

And I am not the only one that is using the theory either; I am just the only one willing to state what the percieved prize is---a hundred thousand dollars a year.

Every writer that is accused of writing a Golden Dawn book just for profit is a victim of this theory. (And lets be honest, that accusation will be tossed at me, sooner or later.) Every Order Head is accused of only doing it for the money. (That day is coming for me too.)

The sad part is that we do have people who are doing exactly that...but MOST are honest people who just like talking about Golden Dawn.

So how do you separate the hope-to-be monopolists from the passionate talkers? Simple, if you see them give out things that level the playing field, odds are that they are merely passionate about Golden Dawn. And if you see actions that imply that they are the only source of real Golden Dawn information and esoteric wisdom, odds are they are a little budding monopoly building Ferengi.

And yes, I do realize that I am nothing more than a happy little cynic. Remember to tip your waitress. Enjoy the rest of the show, starting with the rebuttal by...

How big is the Golden Dawn market part 2

One of the things that I did not touch upon in the previous part was how difficult it was to nail down a number for the Golden Dawn market size. (I ignored the issue because I lacked the time to address the issue.) A lot of my readers pointed out how using the forum membership numbers was an unreliable method.

Let's be honest here---all methods of figuring out the potential Golden Dawn market are unreliable.

Having both management and self-employment experience, I am not surprised by this. In fact, it is expected. There is an old saying that most statistics are made up. That includes estimates about the potential market for products.

The worst estimate I know of involving the Golden Dawn market does not even have to do with the Golden Dawn itself. A decade ago (or has it been longer?) someone decided to figure out the size of the Wiccan community.

(My smarter readers are already shaking their heads over the "Oy vey" that is coming.)

So how do you do this?

The Wiccan community shares many of the same characteristics that makes figuring out the size of the Golden Dawn community so hard. One is that most Wiccans do not openly reveal their membership. They are a hidden sector of the population. Part of this is done for simple economic and social survival issues---after all, there are a few Christians who believe that Wiccans are Satanists and need to be "cured" of their religion.

What the researcher did was to take a survey of Wiccans who were willing to admit that they were Wiccans. In this survey, they were asked multiple questions, including the question "Do you own a copy of Israel Regardie's Golden Dawn?"

Oy.

From this answer, the researcher extrapolated an estimate for the total Wiccan population using the total number of copies sold of Regardie's book.

Oy vey.

There are a few problems with this method.

First, not everyone who buys a copy of Regardie's Golden Dawn is a Wiccan. In fact, I suspect that there are more Christian buyers of Regardie's book than Wiccans. Even using an actual Wiccan book would not have worked---for instance, a book by Scott Cunningham (for I have seen Christians buy these to learn more about "the enemy").

(The things you learn behind the counter of book stores and occult shops.)

Second, the way that the figure was calculated totally ignores the nature of the overall book market.

(At this point in time, one needs to remember that I used to be involved in the used book market. I started out as a collector, and then spent several years as a specialized dealer.)

For instance, the statistican ignored the collector market. There are some collectors out there who collect every edition from select authors. So out there someplace is someone who has every edition that Regardie ever published.

(I own three different editions...)

Also ignored are those people who actually used the book. Some of these people are not the ideal book collector. Their copies are dog-eared, stuffed with bookmarks, and have wax dripped on them; the covers of the book may be falling off. Some of these people have brought additional copies of the book to replace their worn-out copies.

(...in various stages of disrepair.)

Now, looking at my estimate based on Yahoo forum membership, one should note some of my assumptions.

First assumption, there are some members who are members of multiple forums. In fact, some members are probably members of every Golden Dawn forum that they stumble upon. (I am not quite that bad.)

Second assumption, there are actually non-Golden Dawn parties who are members of Golden Dawn forums. In fact, I know one forum owner who invited a whole bunch of people from Thelemic, Wiccan and pagan forums to their GD forum---all to boost their GD forum membership numbers; it wouldn't be so bad, except that they generally do not approve of Golden Dawn posts from "rivals"---one sees a lot of posts that have absolutely nothing to do with Golden Dawn on their forum.

(By Golden Dawn parties, I mean people are actually interested in Golden Dawn.)

Third assumption, there are "sellers and dealers" mixed into the membership, those people who join forums just to send other members spam, who are just there to sell product. (Also see next point.)

Fourth assumption, people do not cancel their membership when they leave a forum, and some people have either lost their original account and created new ones, or have created sock-puppet accounts. Therefore, there are actually a bunch of dead and empty memberships floating in the overall figure.

Due to these assumptions, I mistrust all the membership figures of the Yahoo forums. Therefore, I took none of the membership figures at face-value (with one exception).

And this is just the tip of the iceberg of one's difficulties that one faces trying to estimate the potential Golden Dawn market size.

Religions of the United States

Religions of the United States.

Ok, this may seem like a side-track to many people (especially those waiting for various part twos), but it is actually not a side-track. It is actually related to both topics.

The graphic above I found on Ananael's blog; he was talking about how Christians have been praying for the economy of the United States for the last deecade. Yeah, I did spit-take. You just can't help chocking when you realize that prayer has been involved in the slow death spiral of the last decade of the US economy.

Looking at the graphic, which shows the membership percentage of each religion in the United States, I could not help thinking about both part twos that are being awaited on.

What this graph has to do with the size of the Golden Dawn market? (skip down for Ouija part)

On the Golden Dawn market front, it is obvious that Golden Dawn Orders must cater to Christians and their viewpoint if...if...if they want a shot at the biggest section of the pie. After all (provided that you think that Roman Catholics are Christians), they represent 78.5% of the potential market.

Of course, this is assuming that the overall potential market for Golden Dawn memberships and products mirrors the overall population religious outlook.

There is a chance that those interested the most in Golden Dawn come from particular religions and sectors, and do not mirror the overall population figures in religious outlook.

But let's presume that the potential market for Golden Dawn mirrors the religious percentages for the overall population.

Now, what Christians find comfortable often other religions do not find comfortable. For instance, the idea that sheep go to heaven and goats go to hell (hehe) is not something that the pagan religions find comfortable, especially when own their gods are classified as demons. Heck, what Catholics are comfortable with Protestants are often uncomfortable with.

This does lead us to the possibility of product differentiation (a nice economy and business term) in the Golden Dawn marketplace. For instance, one Golden Dawn Order could focus on serving Roman Catholics, another on serving the needs of Protestants, and another on serving the needs of the Wiccan community.

Unfortunately, past experience makes this unlikely to happen, except on the small scale. The bigger Orders, and those who want to become big, tends to take everyone in...and then either alienates them or converts them to the religious and philosophical standards of the leadership of the Order.

Please note that I do realize that such differentiation goes against the advice given to the Neophyte...if you are a literalist. I am not saying that the other religions are bad, just that perhaps focusing primarily on different religious comfort zones would be a way to avoid a lot of the in-fighting that we see flaring up on occasion. It is lot easier to live and let live when you are interested in completely different sections of the market.

Teach respect for other religions; don't try to convert your membership to your religion. And be honest when you see someone of a religion that will find your emphasis unbearable and send them to an Order that they will be more comfortable with.

What does religion has to do with Ouija boards?

One of the problems with a Ouija board (a point I will be expanding upon in that particular part two) is the fact that there is a living human being(s) involved. In fact, without a living human being involved, an Ouija board would do nothing.

(Ok, this ignores really powerful entities---but what would they be using a Ouija board for if they were so powerful that they could communicate without one? If you can move the planchette without using a living human being's help, then you are powerful enourgh to get their attention in other ways. For me, this is one of the reasons that the whole Secret Chief myth seems rather shaky.)

Now, the majority of people who would be using an Ouija board would be Christian (definitely counting Roman Catholics as Christians for this thought). Which means that there is a Christian component to the operation and interpretation of Ouija board activities.

Please note that I will expand on this thought in part two of the Ouija board series. I merely wanted to briefly mention this as a factor along with this particular graphic. But for those who want more, consider this---would a pagan view some of the entities that communicate though Ouija boards as hostile (and demonic) as Christians encountering the same entity?

The recession is all in your head

Good news everyone! We are not in a recession. The recession was officially over in June 2009.

Just too bad that most of us didn't get the memo.

So why are so many of us still suffering with unemployment, upside down mortgages, and are on the verge of being officially below the poverty level?

Maybe it is all in our heads.

Or at least that is the conclusion that you can jump to if you embrace the Law of Attraction. In a nutshell, the Law of Attraction says that the things and conditions that you focus on the most are what you are going to attract.

Worry about being unemployed, or becoming unemployed...you attract unemployment.

Worry about keeping your home...you attract foreclosure.

Worry about being dirt-poor...you attract more bills and less income.

Gee, it sounds so simple, doesn't it?

Now, all we need is someone to point out that our economic illness is all in our head, to shout at us to walk it off, and we can all go back to being middle class in no time.

Occult price index

I was just reading a blog (Luke Sidewalker) and realized that I do not remember the last time that someone mentioned the consumer price index on the news. Sidewalker, whose blog is mainly about picking up loose change, is starting a new monthly feature on his blog where he tracks the price changes of twenty items. He feels that this is a better indicator of inflation/deflation than using car and housing prices.

For those who took economics, this is a "price index" and the set of items that is tracked every month is referred to as a "basket". (Yes, I took a couple of economics classes over the past couple of years.)

Reading his list, and the suggestions of his readers, I realized not only do I gauge the state of the economy like this, but I have some weird things in my basket. Besides the normal milk, eggs, bread, cat food and printer ink, I also have occult books, candles and incense that I also buy on a regular basis.

I know that I am using them in my own personal index, besides complaining about the rising cost of cat food all summer, I think everyone has heard my complaints about the rising costs of occult books.

But it made me wonder what type of things would end up in a basket for an occult price index. What types of things do all occultists pay for on a regular basis? Incense? Candles? Tarot decks? Lodge dues? Virgin chickens?

The world may never know.

How to cope without your favorite Tarot deck

Late last night (or was it really early this morning), I was reading posts on a Golden Dawn Forum. Other people count sheep when they can not sleep; I browse for occult ideas.

One of the posts mentioned the (Lady) Frieda Harris/Aleister Crowley Thoth deck (English editions) was apparently out of print, and commanding high prices on the internet. This was news to me. Going over to Amazon and Google, I quickly learned that the poster was right. (English language) Thoth decks are going for a hundred dollars a pop at the moment.

For myself, this is not a big concern. I lean towards cards that do not overwhelm a client; I prefer using short explainations about the symbolism of Tarot, and the Thoth deck is a deep one. I own one for study purposes, but it is not used as heavily as other decks in my collection.

(All the professional and most of the semi-professional Tarot readers I know have several decks that they read with. Someday, I will blog about the reasons for this behavior.)

So in my case, I imagine that the deck will be back in print before I need to replace mine. But for some students and readers, they would like to be able to replace their decks right now without having to spend a hundred dollars or more.

(One of the basic economic rules of occultism is that out of print books and Tarot decks fetch outrageous prices. Even the most useless occult book or Tarot deck will cost you a hundred dollars or more. A high price on an out of print occult book or Tarot deck is no indication of the item's actual merit.)

Or at least, I presume that it will be back in print within the next couple of years.

(There are both economic and copyright issues that could complicate the situation, delaying a reissue of the deck for longer than I am estimating.)

So how does one cope with the unavailability of one's favorite Tarot deck?

One can simply do without it. This is what the poster has been doing. This may or may not be acceptable depending upon one's personal preferences. Especially if one does not have a strong link with a different variation of the Tarot.

Most modern occult students today (or at least the younger ones) do not realize how spoiled we are today; we have an overwhelming wealth of books and Tarot decks. We have choices in what to buy when we need (or simply want) a new Tarot deck or book.

This has not always been true. Even thirty years ago when I was a teenager edging into the occult and wicca, my choices were much more limited. And when my aunt entered the field a couple of decades earlier, the choices were just a couple of Tarot decks (and they had to be imported).

As for the Thoth deck itself, it was twenty-five years after it was designed by Harris and Crowley before it was actually issued. That is 1969 for those who are reading this instead of counting sheep.

Going back in time, the members of the original Order of the Golden Dawn had two choices when it came to the Tarot deck that they used. They could either paint their own, or they could buy a Tarot deck imported from Italy or France.

Substition or doing without is a long tradition among occult students, especially the initiated.

In the case of the Thoth deck, one might be able to obtain one printed in a different language. Maybe.

If your beloved Tarot deck is not too tattered, one can attempt to repair it. Or at least, attempt to prevent further damage. I remember one of the members of Hathoor Temple had a deck of cards that were laminated. It is hardly ideal, but one can understand the thought behind it.

Making your own Tarot deck is still an option today. In some cases, you might not even need art skills, just access to a good printer, a boatload of ink, some glue and cardstock. For those who are attempted to experiment doing it with the Thoth deck, one should note that I have encountered an entire set of jpegs of the Thoth deck on the internet.

The set of jpegs is also useful for the ultimate initiated answer of dealing with the unavailability of a Tarot deck.

I mentioned earlier that I lean towards using a simple (non-initiate) Tarot deck when I am doing readings for others. (Except of course, for members of our tradition, who get the full song and dance.) What I did not mention was the fact that the cards I lay on the table are not neccessarily the cards I see when I am doing the reading.

One of the things that we do as initiates in the esoteric Orders is to build up our visualization skills; we also make the symbolism of the Tarot (and other symbol systems) a part of our "mental furniture". Professional Tarot readers also do this.

There are many reasons why we do this. One of the side benefits of developing this skill set is that you can be doing a reading in a coffee house using a light Tarot deck as your physical prop; and in your mind, visualizing and reading from the initiated Golden Dawn Tarot or the Thoth deck.

The moral of all this is that with a little imagination, we can cope with our favorite Tarot deck falling out of print.

Roots of Golden Dawn: Part 5

This particular post may not seem to fit into the set of The Roots of GD, but it really it does.

Yesterday, I was listening to Common Sense With Dan Carlin: Show 134---Instant Gratification. The theme of the show was that our urge for instant gratification is wrecking havoc with the political system (USA) and with the economy.

The idea of the show, Carlin got from someone else who said that if Obama wanted to really make an impact in Washington, then he should openly commit to just serving one term in office. This way he can just focus on getting things done. As it stands right now, a newly-elected President only has about a hundred days in office before he has to start worrying about the next election for his political party, mid-terms, and his own re-election.

Carlin related this to our current economic mess, the stock market and the shady loan bubble. He talked about how CEOs no longer focus on the long-term health of the companies that they run, but on short-term gains to make the stock holders happy.

Ok, what does this have to do with Golden Dawn? Especially its roots?

So this got me to thinking. I have witnessed several dozen people come into Golden Dawn chasing a short-term goal; quite often, it is to make the Inner Order Grade of Adept Minor. But what if making a certain Grade is not the actual goal that Golden Dawn is set up to fulfill?

How long is the ideal membership span for a member of Our Tradition?

In my mind, the ideal membership is the lifetime membership; someone who joins and remains a student of the tradition for the rest of their life is the ideal member. This is my opinion.

Now, as an elected officer, I have always been lucky that the long-term goals of my lodge has always been the priority. The one advantage that I envy of the Secret Chiefs, and those who are non-elected members of the hierarchy is that they can focus on the long-term goals without have to worry about people wanting instant gratification, and voting them out of office when they don't get it. Unfortunately, I have seen the abuses that an unelected hierarchy can lead to; hence my opinion that the entire hierarchy, including the Secret Chiefs, need to be elected and re-elected periodically.

Nevertheless, an important question we have to consider when examining the roots of Golden Dawn is how long a member is supposed to be a member. If it is merely short-term, then it makes little difference about how bad Orders and their leaders act; you only have to put up with it until you reach the goal. But if one is supposed to be a member for life, then it is funny that there is not a way to remove bad leaders and officers from the system.

I told you that it had something to do with the roots of Golden Dawn. I don't have any answers, but I feel that the question did need to be considered.

To read a review of Common Sense with Dan Carlin, click here.