On the Fourth of July in the year of…well, we actually do not know the year that the magician known as the Great Gherkin was born. Which is a real shame because if we had the exact time, day and year, we could read the Great Gherkin like an open book without all that messing having to interact with him.
For instance, using the secret Hermetic art of temporal divination, we know that the Great Gherkin’s least favorite critic was born on the day of the Ax Murderer in the year of the Disgruntled Monkey, during the hour of the Hungry Cat, and on the exact minute of the Bridge Troll. It is not a real surprise that the Great Gherkin’s least favorite critic is an angry blogger who owns a dozen cats and rage posts at one in the morning. If the critic did not do this, we might have to call into question whole swathes of the esoteric tradition, including the age old school of astrology.
Now,
as we were saying, the Great Gherkin was born on the Fourth of July,
better known in occult circles as the day of the Patriotic Tax Dodger…
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