Saturday, February 18, 2017

Should liberal journalists be burned at the stake? Hardcore Trump supporters say yes!

Congratulations America for making it to week four of Trump's first term as President. Yes, that is right--it has only been four weeks. And in that time, President Trump has not been allowed to do a damn thing without the liberal media misrepresenting what he is doing.

So to recap, Trump and his supporters have no problem with taking away the visa and Green cards of Muslims from seven countries, even if they have been living in this country for a decade because "All Muslims are terrorists"; Trump has picked the very best people, who have no flaws, and have no desire to incite racism nor enrich themselves at the taxpayers' expense; the Republicans are ready to get rid of Obamacare and make sure that everyone gets the healthcare that they deserve; other countries are a bunch of assholes, except for Russia, who we love and who would never dream of rigging the system to get a puppet President; the voters still do not care about Trump's tax returns, nor the hydra-like tentacles of his business interests affecting his policies, nor the policies of his officials and representatives; consumers are eagerly buying Trump products because they are the best, and Trump's policies are the best; we must get rid of all immigrants who just take away jobs and only commit crimes--remember that there are no good immigrants--all immigrants are bad; we must do away with the EPA with its horrible regulations; we need to get rid of all references to the false science that says global warming and pollution is a real thing; we must close the borders to overseas products; only students with rich parents deserve to be educated; and everything is still the fault of those dirty liberal traitors led by Hillary Clinton and ex-President Obama, who are still conspiring to overthrow the bestest President ever.

And all this is true, despite any reports that you hear from the media, who are the true enemy of the American people.

Why is the media treating me like I am a third grader with nuclear weapons--nuclear weapons are the best.
Yes, I suffer from Trump rage. My wife is an ESL teacher (oh how we need to make sure that she never works in education ever again--who the fuck thinks it is a good idea to teach the children of immigrants?!?), and I am slimy person who once considered a career as a journalist, plus we are not good Christians--oh my god, we need to be burned at the stake for our unAmerican beliefs.

Of course, as a journalist "wanna-be" (I wanted to be a newspaper columnist, a funny one like Emma Bombeck; but I would have settled for writing political commentary), I keep feeling insulted by the way that President Trump is treating journalists. 

And I have noticed a pattern. Every time a journalist reports something negative about Trump, his policies, and the bestest people in the his government, Trump screams that "Those journalists are FAKE NEWS. So sad that they believe that I am the devil. I am here to led America into a new golden age where everyone glows in the dark. Nuclear weapons are good, but you can also do bad things with uranium. Sad."

It was really hard to watch his first solo press conference, given that he insulted members of the media at least thirty times (I lost count after thirty). Of course, it got even better when he sent out the bestest survey ever!

Do you believe that the lying media should be fined, tossed in jail, and burned at the stake? If you voted for me, of course you do. You are the bestest supporters a tyrant can have.
It was a very rigged survey, guaranteed to prove that Trump can take any steps he needs to put the free press in its proper place--kissing his butt and telling him that he is the greatest while ignoring any threats to the Constitution and possible harm to anyone who is not a rich white guy.

And when I interacted with his hardcore supporters, I realized that the only part of the Bill of Rights they support is the right to have handguns. The other nine parts can be flushed down the toilet, along with the rest of the Constitution, because dirty liberals keep acting as if it (and not those good conservative values that say only rich people have rights), the Constitution, is supposed to be the guiding principle for the laws and government of the United States of America.

I honestly think that his supporters believe that every journalist, every comedian, and everyone in the country, that criticizes Trump should serve jail time, or worse. By their standards, journalists should have never broken the news on Watergate, and should only criticize Democrats and other filthy liberals. (Yes, that is right--I just compared Donald Trump to Richard Nixon--guess which one I like better--the answer will surprise you!)

And oh, how I should not worry about what Trump was going to do because it was Obama that it is responsible for any crackdown on journalism that happens. All hail Trump--who can do no wrong!

(For the record, George Bush and Obama went after leaks that threaten intelligence and military assets--not every journalist that ever said, WTF?!?)


Trump does the bestest tweets, full of love for the principles of democracy...well, except for all those parts about a free press and common human decency.
In journalism classes (yes, I took some--I must be burned at the stake), I was taught that journalists were the watchdogs of society, that journalists served a purpose of keeping politicians honest, sometimes even forcing them to act as if they cared for stuff other than their wallets. We are not supposed to be liked by politicians; after all, we have to expose all the slimy things that politicians try to get away with.

And despite what hardcore Trump supporters think, if Hillary Clinton would have won and started doing half the crap Trump has, we would be howling for her head. But no, the media needs to be put in its proper place because we just hate good conservative values rooted in the only religious document that counts--the Bible--which completely says that witches, and liberal Trump hating journalists must be witches, need to be burned at the stake as a message to the rest of the rabble that the Holy Tyrant Donald "Jesus" Trump can do whatever he needs to to put those dirty filthy poor people in their proper place, enriching the wealthy.

But never fear Trump supporters, Trump still has another 208 weeks to get rid of all the immigrants, void those silly government regulations that harm big business, make a law to allow the imprisonment of journalists who say bad things about him, make it legal to kill all those people who do not believe in the same religious document as you do, and bring back tons of good paying dime an hour jobs. And after that, in 209 weeks, he gets to start his second term; and then in 416 weeks, he becomes President-for-life because you are going to change the Constitution to allow him to do so; and then when he dies, one of his relatives will become our next king. Oh look at how wonderful America's future is--look at all the happy rich people--try not to step on the sick and dying poor people.

Hail Trump! Or Hydra! They seem to be the same.
Oh wait, I am not a journalist wanna-be--I must be a FAKE NEWS journalist because I am saying mean things about your lord and savior, the bestest President ever--better report me to the authorities, so that I am silenced once and for all. All hail Trump!

1 comment:

Charles Rae said...

May the gods help America!