I mentioned briefly in a previous blog post that Pat Zalewski wrote his latest Golden Dawn book, Alchemy and the Golden Dawn, for a single student. (Maybe "student" is the wrong term, maybe "friend" would be a better label---I am just not sure.) Then I got mail. It happens.
Yes, Zalewski wrote his alchemy book with a single student in mind. It is not just marketing hype. There is actually a student out there who was responsible for this book being written. A single student.
Hathoor Temple had a saying that even a Neophyte could function as a Secret Chief. I think that aphorism is related to my father theory that all it takes is one "bad" neighbor to start mowing their lawn and putting in a flower beds to get an entire neighborhood to fix itself up. Or maybe not.
All I know is that I have seen changes in the esoteric community before that could be traced back to a single member of the community.
Should we thank this student or condemn them? I am not sure. Time will tell.
So why hasn't this student weighed in with their opinion of the book? (Really?! I am surprised that someone asked this question.) It is the height of brilliance that this student has kept their mouth shut about their involvement. If it was you, would you admit to it?
I know that there are people just dying to know who this person is---just so that they can use this person's inexperience against them. You know that they are going to get a mailbox full of invites from groups and teachers worse than Pat's once their identity is figured out. "Gee, if you needed Pat's book, then my group is just perfect for you also."
Besides, one of the facts that is oath bound is the identity of the tradition's membership. If this person does not want to admit that they were involved, they do not have to. Even when you are a known member of the tradition, you do not have to tell all about your memberships. Personally, there are a couple of groups that I held memberships in that I would never publically admit to---though in all fairness, the groups would prefer me not to mention being a member either.
And yes, I actually know the student in question. It is a small tradition.
And no, I am not responsible for guiding this person to better teachers, friends and groups. They are free to associate with whoever they want to. Just like they are free to read whatever they want to. It is their time, energy and money; they can spend it however they want to.
They are a lone nut in the big bowl of mixed nuts that is the Golden Dawn community.
Now that I have answered my mail about this, I still have one more comment to make.
David Griffin mentioned in a comment to the blog post in question that he wished that Pat would have just gave this person the manuscript and left it unpublished. But let's be honest, David. No one forced you to read the book; you could have saved your money and time. Other people have reviewed the book without reading it---you could have done the same.
And seriously, I am not sure that it is your duty to protect the whole Golden Dawn tradition. People get exactly the type of instruction that they are ready for. It is part of being human. As a friend of mine is fond of saying, "It is all a matter of life experience." Sometimes people need to experience certain teachings and people, so that they can grow.
Putrefaction is an ugly, smelly, disgusting process. But it is necessary. Trying to avoid it, just slows down the acquistion of...well, the important stuff. Take for instance, my compost pile. It is ugly, it is smelly (sometimes), and there are bugs, worms and noisy birds that fed there. I am sure that my neighbors are not fond of my compost pile. Yet I need to have it if I ever hope to restore the soil of my garden without having to use expensive (and ultimately toxic) fertilizer every year.
Pat Zalewski's book serves a purpose. Eventually, its readers will move onto a better understanding of alchemy; it is a necessary way-station in their alchemical understanding. Trust the process, and take comfort in the fact that people get exactly the type of teachers they need to match their level of development. Embrace the putrefaction.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Back Alley Education
Something that gets me into no small amount of trouble is how I picked up the little bit of education that I have. I tend to describe it as a "back alley education." And it is across the board---academics, writing, business, esoteric---there is really no area that the majority of my education came from approved and honored sources.
In the literature classes, I have a hard time buying into the basic concept of literary theory---the idea that the writer meant to imply great ideas and social commentary with the use of characters and imagery---which is one of the reasons that I struggle with literature. Maybe if I had a classic education, I would have an easier time buying into it.
But I didn't have a classic education. In fact, I am a student that was shuffled back and forth between advanced classes and short bus classes clear up to junior high. For some reason, talking with a German/Yiddish account makes one an idiot, and having a high pitched girlish voice makes one a moron. On the other hand, being able to pass tests with a bare minimum of study and completed homework makes one a frustrated genius.
Clue, I am not a moron or idiot, and the genius train refused to honor my ticket.
School districts and teachers literally did not know how to cope with my "special needs." It also did not help that we moved around so much. About the time, a school district figured out what to do with me, we would end up moving again.
None of this helped my social skills either. There is no point in being nice, polite, or pretending to be normal if you are going to lose any friends that you make within a couple of years because you have to move to yet another house.
And in high school, outside of the token speech therapy and social worker, there was a general lack of effect to address the weirdness that is me. In the school district's defense, it was a small town; there were budget issues.
In the end, I dropped out of high school. One class short. Freshman composition.
Yes, I said freshman composition. In my defense, there were some familial issues in play.
(A few years ago, I did manage to pass the GED tests...without studying for it. I used it to get into a community college, and then somehow managed to transfer to an university. Someone obviously was asleep at the switch. It looks like I might actually get a degree.)
So given this background, it is amazing that I managed to learn anything at all. Especially when you realize that I took my "how to learn" cues from my father, who did not even finish junior high.
My father made sure that I was surrounded by books. And he did a lot of reading himself.
What he could not pick up directly from books, magazines and newspapers, he picked up by questioning people. If you even find yourself being questioned to death by me, blame my father.
I have followed this pattern to the letter. For many years, while I was working in restaurants, my co-workers swore that I had to be going to college---there was no other possible reason that someone would read as much as I did otherwise. And I was not reading the current best-sellers either.
If I ran into someone with knowledge about a subject that I knew nothing about, I would grill them about all the ins and outs of the field. I have no problem with admitting that I know nothing at all.
And the amount of writing I did was ungodly. I was always writing something or other.
Of course, that is one of the reasons that I have a hard time buying into the basic premise of literary theory. I did too much writing without having any higher education. I wrote because I wanted to, and because occasionally I could con someone in writing me a check for something I wrote.
This leads to me having an attitude problem when someone claiming that Victorian writers had all these great social commentary ideas that they concealed in their writing. No, no, no---they were getting paid to write long tedious novels; one does not need to know anything more to explain their writing.
Yes, I am still a problem student today.
I am also a problematic business manager. I do not care what your business or economic theory is. If I have seen something like it fail, and fail big, then I am going to refuse to believe that you with a perfectly good academic degree know more about business and economics than I do, someone who just happens to have a decade plus of running a business under his belt.
I am also a problematic occult student. For many years, I had access to a handful of books. Literally, I could count the number of occult books I had access to on one hand. For me, one does not need a multitude of classes, books, or memberships, to understand the occult. One just needs to be doing the work while having an open mind that one techniques can be improved.
Obviously, this means that the whole purpose of the three Order system (Outer, Inner, and Third Orders) has slipped me by. I picked up the majority of my occult theory before joinning Golden Dawn, gained a lot of my practical experience before making my way into Inner Order. And I talk back way too much to ever have anything to do with Third Order. I am not big on secrecy and absolute obedience.
Maybe if I would have been exposed to the way the esoteric Orders were originally set up, I would feel different. But I wasn't. I learned more about Golden Dawn, talking to my sponsor and mentor over a cup of coffee than I ever did in lodge or from reading Regardie. The same goes for every Advanced Adept Advisor that I have ever dealt with---it is the side-tracks that I am learning from, not the lesson of the day.
This background creates a major attitude problem, or so people who claim to be more advanced than me have told me repeatedly.
I have been reminded of this recently while watching the debate about Pat Zalewski's latest book. I could care less about what the various groups think about his alchemical lore. Pat wrote his book for a single person.
And that is the only person's opinion that matters.
Yes, I feel that the only opinion of Pat's book that matters is that one lone student. Are they actually finding the book useful? If so, then Pat has done good.
Of course, the very fact that I have this opinion proves that I completely missed something important in my esoteric education. But then again, what do you expect from someone who did not go though the proper approved and honored channels to gain the skill and knowledge that he possesses? I have a back alley education, after all; and it shows up all the time in my bad attitude and inability to understand the most basic esoteric concepts in the manner that the higher Grade individuals would like me to observe.
In the literature classes, I have a hard time buying into the basic concept of literary theory---the idea that the writer meant to imply great ideas and social commentary with the use of characters and imagery---which is one of the reasons that I struggle with literature. Maybe if I had a classic education, I would have an easier time buying into it.
But I didn't have a classic education. In fact, I am a student that was shuffled back and forth between advanced classes and short bus classes clear up to junior high. For some reason, talking with a German/Yiddish account makes one an idiot, and having a high pitched girlish voice makes one a moron. On the other hand, being able to pass tests with a bare minimum of study and completed homework makes one a frustrated genius.
Clue, I am not a moron or idiot, and the genius train refused to honor my ticket.
School districts and teachers literally did not know how to cope with my "special needs." It also did not help that we moved around so much. About the time, a school district figured out what to do with me, we would end up moving again.
None of this helped my social skills either. There is no point in being nice, polite, or pretending to be normal if you are going to lose any friends that you make within a couple of years because you have to move to yet another house.
And in high school, outside of the token speech therapy and social worker, there was a general lack of effect to address the weirdness that is me. In the school district's defense, it was a small town; there were budget issues.
In the end, I dropped out of high school. One class short. Freshman composition.
Yes, I said freshman composition. In my defense, there were some familial issues in play.
(A few years ago, I did manage to pass the GED tests...without studying for it. I used it to get into a community college, and then somehow managed to transfer to an university. Someone obviously was asleep at the switch. It looks like I might actually get a degree.)
So given this background, it is amazing that I managed to learn anything at all. Especially when you realize that I took my "how to learn" cues from my father, who did not even finish junior high.
My father made sure that I was surrounded by books. And he did a lot of reading himself.
What he could not pick up directly from books, magazines and newspapers, he picked up by questioning people. If you even find yourself being questioned to death by me, blame my father.
I have followed this pattern to the letter. For many years, while I was working in restaurants, my co-workers swore that I had to be going to college---there was no other possible reason that someone would read as much as I did otherwise. And I was not reading the current best-sellers either.
If I ran into someone with knowledge about a subject that I knew nothing about, I would grill them about all the ins and outs of the field. I have no problem with admitting that I know nothing at all.
And the amount of writing I did was ungodly. I was always writing something or other.
Of course, that is one of the reasons that I have a hard time buying into the basic premise of literary theory. I did too much writing without having any higher education. I wrote because I wanted to, and because occasionally I could con someone in writing me a check for something I wrote.
This leads to me having an attitude problem when someone claiming that Victorian writers had all these great social commentary ideas that they concealed in their writing. No, no, no---they were getting paid to write long tedious novels; one does not need to know anything more to explain their writing.
Yes, I am still a problem student today.
I am also a problematic business manager. I do not care what your business or economic theory is. If I have seen something like it fail, and fail big, then I am going to refuse to believe that you with a perfectly good academic degree know more about business and economics than I do, someone who just happens to have a decade plus of running a business under his belt.
I am also a problematic occult student. For many years, I had access to a handful of books. Literally, I could count the number of occult books I had access to on one hand. For me, one does not need a multitude of classes, books, or memberships, to understand the occult. One just needs to be doing the work while having an open mind that one techniques can be improved.
Obviously, this means that the whole purpose of the three Order system (Outer, Inner, and Third Orders) has slipped me by. I picked up the majority of my occult theory before joinning Golden Dawn, gained a lot of my practical experience before making my way into Inner Order. And I talk back way too much to ever have anything to do with Third Order. I am not big on secrecy and absolute obedience.
Maybe if I would have been exposed to the way the esoteric Orders were originally set up, I would feel different. But I wasn't. I learned more about Golden Dawn, talking to my sponsor and mentor over a cup of coffee than I ever did in lodge or from reading Regardie. The same goes for every Advanced Adept Advisor that I have ever dealt with---it is the side-tracks that I am learning from, not the lesson of the day.
This background creates a major attitude problem, or so people who claim to be more advanced than me have told me repeatedly.
I have been reminded of this recently while watching the debate about Pat Zalewski's latest book. I could care less about what the various groups think about his alchemical lore. Pat wrote his book for a single person.
And that is the only person's opinion that matters.
Yes, I feel that the only opinion of Pat's book that matters is that one lone student. Are they actually finding the book useful? If so, then Pat has done good.
Of course, the very fact that I have this opinion proves that I completely missed something important in my esoteric education. But then again, what do you expect from someone who did not go though the proper approved and honored channels to gain the skill and knowledge that he possesses? I have a back alley education, after all; and it shows up all the time in my bad attitude and inability to understand the most basic esoteric concepts in the manner that the higher Grade individuals would like me to observe.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
How big is the Golden Dawn market part 3
[If you have a tendency to get upset about my posts that look at Golden Dawn from the viewpoint of a businessman and economist, you may want to go read something else instead. Maybe read or re-read the Harry Potter series---your high blood pressure will thank you.]
A few weeks ago, I was talking to a friend about how the current disagreements among the various Golden Dawn Orders look downright pleasant compared to the flame wars from a dozen years ago. When my friend asked me why the flame wars were worse a decade ago, I answered with what I believe is the true answer.
The flame wars were started by someone who wanted a monopoly.
My friend asked me to explain my reasoning for this answer, so I did.
One of the things that someone steeped in business like myself want to know about the Golden Dawn marketplace is how much you can get on average from each person in the market. It is not enourgh to know how many people there are in the market, you also need to know how much they are willing to spend.
The actions you take catering to such an audience depends upon your opinion of how much of the market will be interested in your product, and how much they are willing to pay for it.
Overall, I estimate that the average member of the Golden Dawn market is willing to shell out a hundred dollars beyond the cost of assembling such products every year. Please note that I am assuming that the product creators are getting paid for the expense of their products (books, membership packets, robes, tools, etc.); that the hundred dollars that we are talking about is the extra margin that the Golden Dawn consumer is willing to shell out per year beyond that cost.
A hundred dollars profit, that is it. And as you know from my previous posts in this series, I estimate that the Golden Dawn market is only maybe a thousand people all together. That is a hundred dollars worth of profit to be divided up among ALL the Golden Dawn product producers per Golden Dawn consumer every year.
In my case, I figure my market share will even be smaller than the whole, and the amount that they will be willing to give me nowhere near approaching the total they are willing to shell out to the entire market.
Figure a hundred people, a dime of profit each, during a good year. Therefore for me, devoting myself to Golden Dawn product production is not a sound economic decision. In my defense, I like talking about the Golden Dawn more than I love the sound of Gold-Pressed Latinum.
(Hey, I heard that groan. I have been told that I should use more Star Trek references on my blog...because Golden Dawn members really love Star Trek. Who would I be to ignore such potential profitable advice? Besides, this column does involve Ferengi-like behavior as you are about to see.)
But consider this---what if you could get ALL the members of the Golden Dawn market to give you ALL the money that they are willing to spend on Golden Dawn in a year? And continue to do so year after year?
A dozen years ago, someone tried to do exactly that.
Think about it. A hundred dollars times a thousand people equals...a hundred thousand dollars a year...equals a million dollars per decade.
But the only way to get all the money was todestory get the rest of us to leave the production end. So the biggest flame war in Golden Dawn history was started.
(Please note that this is a personal theory to explain what happened. Who the guilty party was depends upon who you talk to. And the guilty parties will promptly insist that I am wrong.)
The hoped-to-become monopolist doused everyone with gasoline and lit a match. People tossed back gasoline to defend themselves, their reputation, and their right to discuss Golden Dawn.
If you do not believe me about this theory, just wait until you see someone new come into the Golden Dawn who has decided that they want to be the only authority on the block. This economic theory explains their behavior just as well as theories saying that their egos are out of control.
And I am not the only one that is using the theory either; I am just the only one willing to state what the percieved prize is---a hundred thousand dollars a year.
Every writer that is accused of writing a Golden Dawn book just for profit is a victim of this theory. (And lets be honest, that accusation will be tossed at me, sooner or later.) Every Order Head is accused of only doing it for the money. (That day is coming for me too.)
The sad part is that we do have people who are doing exactly that...but MOST are honest people who just like talking about Golden Dawn.
So how do you separate the hope-to-be monopolists from the passionate talkers? Simple, if you see them give out things that level the playing field, odds are that they are merely passionate about Golden Dawn. And if you see actions that imply that they are the only source of real Golden Dawn information and esoteric wisdom, odds are they are a little budding monopoly building Ferengi.
And yes, I do realize that I am nothing more than a happy little cynic. Remember to tip your waitress. Enjoy the rest of the show, starting with the rebuttal by...
A few weeks ago, I was talking to a friend about how the current disagreements among the various Golden Dawn Orders look downright pleasant compared to the flame wars from a dozen years ago. When my friend asked me why the flame wars were worse a decade ago, I answered with what I believe is the true answer.
The flame wars were started by someone who wanted a monopoly.
My friend asked me to explain my reasoning for this answer, so I did.
One of the things that someone steeped in business like myself want to know about the Golden Dawn marketplace is how much you can get on average from each person in the market. It is not enourgh to know how many people there are in the market, you also need to know how much they are willing to spend.
The actions you take catering to such an audience depends upon your opinion of how much of the market will be interested in your product, and how much they are willing to pay for it.
Overall, I estimate that the average member of the Golden Dawn market is willing to shell out a hundred dollars beyond the cost of assembling such products every year. Please note that I am assuming that the product creators are getting paid for the expense of their products (books, membership packets, robes, tools, etc.); that the hundred dollars that we are talking about is the extra margin that the Golden Dawn consumer is willing to shell out per year beyond that cost.
A hundred dollars profit, that is it. And as you know from my previous posts in this series, I estimate that the Golden Dawn market is only maybe a thousand people all together. That is a hundred dollars worth of profit to be divided up among ALL the Golden Dawn product producers per Golden Dawn consumer every year.
In my case, I figure my market share will even be smaller than the whole, and the amount that they will be willing to give me nowhere near approaching the total they are willing to shell out to the entire market.
Figure a hundred people, a dime of profit each, during a good year. Therefore for me, devoting myself to Golden Dawn product production is not a sound economic decision. In my defense, I like talking about the Golden Dawn more than I love the sound of Gold-Pressed Latinum.
(Hey, I heard that groan. I have been told that I should use more Star Trek references on my blog...because Golden Dawn members really love Star Trek. Who would I be to ignore such potential profitable advice? Besides, this column does involve Ferengi-like behavior as you are about to see.)
But consider this---what if you could get ALL the members of the Golden Dawn market to give you ALL the money that they are willing to spend on Golden Dawn in a year? And continue to do so year after year?
A dozen years ago, someone tried to do exactly that.
Think about it. A hundred dollars times a thousand people equals...a hundred thousand dollars a year...equals a million dollars per decade.
But the only way to get all the money was to
(Please note that this is a personal theory to explain what happened. Who the guilty party was depends upon who you talk to. And the guilty parties will promptly insist that I am wrong.)
The hoped-to-become monopolist doused everyone with gasoline and lit a match. People tossed back gasoline to defend themselves, their reputation, and their right to discuss Golden Dawn.
If you do not believe me about this theory, just wait until you see someone new come into the Golden Dawn who has decided that they want to be the only authority on the block. This economic theory explains their behavior just as well as theories saying that their egos are out of control.
And I am not the only one that is using the theory either; I am just the only one willing to state what the percieved prize is---a hundred thousand dollars a year.
Every writer that is accused of writing a Golden Dawn book just for profit is a victim of this theory. (And lets be honest, that accusation will be tossed at me, sooner or later.) Every Order Head is accused of only doing it for the money. (That day is coming for me too.)
The sad part is that we do have people who are doing exactly that...but MOST are honest people who just like talking about Golden Dawn.
So how do you separate the hope-to-be monopolists from the passionate talkers? Simple, if you see them give out things that level the playing field, odds are that they are merely passionate about Golden Dawn. And if you see actions that imply that they are the only source of real Golden Dawn information and esoteric wisdom, odds are they are a little budding monopoly building Ferengi.
And yes, I do realize that I am nothing more than a happy little cynic. Remember to tip your waitress. Enjoy the rest of the show, starting with the rebuttal by...
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Jail or Church
Starting next week, if you are a resident of Bay Minette, Alabama, and commit a non-violent misdemeanor, you can choose between serving jail time (along with paying any related fines), or going to church for a year.
Now, being a pagan, the whole idea of the ROC (Restore Our Community) program just gives me the screaming willies. It is right up there with politicans claiming that the United States is a Christian nation (implying that if you are not straight and a Christian, then you are not an American).
But I do understand where the community of Bay Minette is coming from, considering that it costs 75 dollars to keep someone in jail (your local costs may vary).
Nevertheless, as a pagan, the idea of the program brings up some importnat questions.
Here are the questions I have about the program:
What happens to those offenders who are already attending church every week?
Are all non-violent misdemeanors worth 52 church visits, and how was this decided?
Isn't this like making these new church attendees wear a scarlet letter that screams criminal?
I sure hope that Colorado communities do not install a law like this. I would hate to be sentenced to going to church for the crime of jaywalking and overdue library books.
Now, being a pagan, the whole idea of the ROC (Restore Our Community) program just gives me the screaming willies. It is right up there with politicans claiming that the United States is a Christian nation (implying that if you are not straight and a Christian, then you are not an American).
But I do understand where the community of Bay Minette is coming from, considering that it costs 75 dollars to keep someone in jail (your local costs may vary).
Nevertheless, as a pagan, the idea of the program brings up some importnat questions.
Here are the questions I have about the program:
What happens to those offenders who are already attending church every week?
Are all non-violent misdemeanors worth 52 church visits, and how was this decided?
Isn't this like making these new church attendees wear a scarlet letter that screams criminal?
I sure hope that Colorado communities do not install a law like this. I would hate to be sentenced to going to church for the crime of jaywalking and overdue library books.
Friday, September 23, 2011
The Irish can also burn
I learn something new everyday. Today I learned that the Irish can also die of spontaneous combustion.
What did you think that I was going to talk about?! Feeding hot curries and mexican food to the Irish, perhaps?
An 76 year-old Irish pensioner, Michael Faherty was found face down, burnt in his apartment with only the floor below him, his body, and the ceiling above him damaged. The coroner decided to rule it a case of spontaneous combustion, which is a first in Ireland.
The fire in the fireplace was ruled out as the source of the combustion...is it just me that wonders how they ruled it out as a possible source?
My new personal theory about sponteous combustion, based on the fact that most of them happen near a open fireplace or chimney (a fact that I did not know before today), is that salamanders are responsible for sponteous combustions. Those impish lizard-like fairies crawl out of fireplaces and burn those people who have not been burning their preferred type of firewood. It is a simple solution, isn't it? And we all know how bad tempered fairies are.
Of course, this theory does beg the question of why we do not see more sponteous combustions happening in Ireland. After all, Irish faires are known for their bad tempers. My answer to that question is that Irish fairies are fond of drinking, give them enourgh liquid refreshment and they leave you alone.
Is it too late to revise my theory from wrong chocie of firewood to wrong choice of liquid refreshment?
What did you think that I was going to talk about?! Feeding hot curries and mexican food to the Irish, perhaps?
An 76 year-old Irish pensioner, Michael Faherty was found face down, burnt in his apartment with only the floor below him, his body, and the ceiling above him damaged. The coroner decided to rule it a case of spontaneous combustion, which is a first in Ireland.
The fire in the fireplace was ruled out as the source of the combustion...is it just me that wonders how they ruled it out as a possible source?
My new personal theory about sponteous combustion, based on the fact that most of them happen near a open fireplace or chimney (a fact that I did not know before today), is that salamanders are responsible for sponteous combustions. Those impish lizard-like fairies crawl out of fireplaces and burn those people who have not been burning their preferred type of firewood. It is a simple solution, isn't it? And we all know how bad tempered fairies are.
Of course, this theory does beg the question of why we do not see more sponteous combustions happening in Ireland. After all, Irish faires are known for their bad tempers. My answer to that question is that Irish fairies are fond of drinking, give them enourgh liquid refreshment and they leave you alone.
Is it too late to revise my theory from wrong chocie of firewood to wrong choice of liquid refreshment?
Monday, September 19, 2011
Is Nicolas Cage an Alchemist?
 |
| Nicolas Cage has been around for a long time, hasn't he? |
It is Nicolas Cage.
And how is this possible? How could a picture of Nicolas Cage exist in an album of civil war era pictures. Simple, according to jack_mord, Nicolas Cage is "some sort of walking undead/vampire, et cetera, who quickens/reinvents himself once every 75 years or so. 150 years from now, he might be a politician, the leader of a cult, or a talk show host.”
There are just a couple of problems with this vampire theory. One, the photo itself---ain't vampires supposed to be invisible to film? Two, Nicolas Cage has been out and about in the daytime---shouldn't he be a little crispy and deep fried after being exposed to sunlight?
So alas, Nicolas Cage is not a vampire.
But never fear, the Amazing Golden Dawn Newshound that I am knows the truth about this photo.
Nicolas Cage is an alchemist who has been kicking around since before the civil war.
My proof for this theory is the fact that a few years ago, Nicolas Cage admitted on a late night talk show that he was interested in 17th century German philosophy. We all know what that means---Nicolas Cage has been studying the Rosicrucians and their amazing life-extending alchemical techniques.
I guess that Nicolas Cage forgotten the first rule of being an immortal alchemist---do not allow any records to exist that proclaim your immortality. The Third Order is obviously upset---the photo with its million dollar asking price has been removed from the listings on eBay.
And Nicolas, if you are reading this, you are always welcome to sit in lodge with me.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
I want this broom
Today, I was at Spirit Ways 17th anniversary celebration. And hanging in the window, I saw the bestest broom ever.
Isn't is a pretty? A Double Sweep Special edition, perfect for playing quidditch. And if you do not play quidditch, you can always use it to sweep those annoying Secret Chiefs off your front porch, along with the stray crumbs and Jehovah Witnesses.
Yes, this is the broom I want. Too bad that they have to hang it in the window for all the world to see. But I am not too worried that Harry Potter or any of his school chums will see it first.
After all, Hogwarts students are not allowed to go to Spirit Ways, something about it being too close to the Pleasures Adult Store next door and the Bluebird Theater. (You gotta love Colfax, don't you? Where else can you have a metaphysical store right next to such entertainments.) We are still trying to find out what Professor McGonagall experienced in the neighborhood that upset her so. Surely, it could not be that bad, right?
 |
| It is a Double Sweep Special. |
 |
| Just look at those Bristle Exhausts! |
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| Too bad SpiritWays is off-limits to Hogwarts students. |
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