How many chickens for a Tarot reading?

One of the things that I have done in the past (something that I have been informed that I should be ashamed of) is doing Tarot readings for a fee. Yes, I have been a professional Tarot reader. Even worse is the fact that I have collected fees to cast spells for others. Obviously, I am not a member of the real RC...because we all know that in the real RC, only an Order Head collects a fee to do a task that is taking time away from their day job that pays their rent. (I half-joke here.)

Occasionally, when people find out that I used to do this for a profession (or sideline job), they ask me how much I charge. My answer, like most answers I give, is less than helpful and maybe a touch chaotic.

"How many chickens can you afford?"

Actually, I have never collected a chicken for a Tarot reading. But over the years, I did end up eating a lot of government cheese and peanut butter. (My wife wants me to point out that I will kindly accept government pork in exchange for Tarot readings--she actually like to use the cans of government pork to make tacos with.)

Why? Well, I was dealing with the poor. And they were getting government and food bank assistance. In fact, the only reason I wasn't getting assistance myself was that I was making a hundred dollars a year too much. (No joke.) Therefore, while they did not have chickens to pay me with, they had more than enourgh cheese and peanut butter to share.

If you think that this does not go on all the time, let me point out that there is an IRS rule that insists that services and goods obtained in barter is actual income, therefore must be reported to the IRS.

[The Norse rune Fehu, which some consider the source of our modern term "fee," means "cattle." Therefore, I should probably be collecting cows for my services...therefore, I am also willing to accept the government cans of beef also.]