Friday, June 2, 2017

Trump says coal mining more important than golf courses

The last American President, Donald "Jesus is coming to save us!" Trump today declared that coal mining jobs were more important than golf courses.

Or at least that is what I imagine future historians are going to say about his decision to end American involvement in combating global warming.

After all, his justification is that the coal miners in Pittsburgh need jobs and that the Paris Agreement forbid such jobs.

Seriously, I have no idea why Trump said that he represented the voters of Pittsburgh while talking about coal mining jobs--maybe he thinks that Pittsburgh factories created coal--or something. Or that the factories in Pittsburgh pollute as badly as burning coal. Or use tons of coal. Or some logic beyond me.

Or maybe Trump is just an idiot who believes that global warming is a Chinese hoax designed to cripple American industry--kind of like minimum wage laws and occupational safety rules and all those other regulations that prevent lard being sold as pure butter.

Trump does not care about the environment; he only cares about making himself richer...and somehow environmental regulations are preventing this from happening. It is not like Trump has any property that is going to be underwater if all the ice melts.

Oh, look at all the places that go underwater in an ice free world.
Oh...wait.
Uh--if I go by this map, Trump really hates owning property that is not underwater.
But never mind what these maps seem to say because Trump is a genius guided by the Secret Chiefs of the greatest esoteric Order ever, protected by Adepts who love him more than they love money. If you don't believe me, watch who runs to defend his decision and who loudly expounds upon the fact that Alex Jones totally supports Trump's idea that global warming is a hoax.

And it will probably happen in my comment section.

Are you an evil witch or magician who thinks that Trump is trying to drown us all? Consider taking part in the global monthly waning crescent moon ritual to bind the actions of President Donald J. Trump.

For full text of Global Binding Ritual of Trump, click here. 

Dates for future Global Bind Donald J. Trump rituals 

[Asterisked * dates are slightly moved from the last quarter crescent moon to occur on significant dates.]

2017

February 24; March 26; April 24; May 23; *June 21* (*Summer Solstice*); July 21; August 19; September 18; October 17; November 16; December 16

For a full list of future Bind Trump dates, click here.

A magical sigil being used by some to bind Trump.

3 comments:

Imperator David Griffin said...

OK, Forrest...

After the "Congressional Republican Turkey Shoot" in the nation's Capital by a crazed "progressive" this morning, the little Civil War you ard your idiot savant witchlets have been accidentally creating every month - just went HOT.

Gee. Who knows? You wannabes might yet burn down the whole country just to prove what mighty wizards you are.

Why must we all suffer the wars of imbeciles?

Morgan Eckstein said...

Where have I suggested violence? No--remember that I am the person who supports gun control to keep firearms out of the hands of crazy people. Of course, every time I say "gun control," you argue that the solution is actually "more guns!!!" So pardon me if I view you as part of the problem also.

Morgan Eckstein said...

And let's be perfectly clear about something--if Hillary would have won, it would be "conservative" crazies shooting politicians. I saw a ton of "If Hillary wins" second Civil War talk during the election from the conservatives. So let's place blame where it actually belongs--some crazy people think that guns are the answer whenever people make them upset. I support gun control--I don't care about your political party--no one should have guns.