Trump surprise (no no I dont want a surprise)

Some words that I never-ever want to hear coming out of the mouth of a politician:

"We are going to have a great, great surprise..."

No, no, no.

I am a German-Jew by ancestry, a magician and heretic by profession, and a witch by religious choice--and the words "great, great surprise" has never turned out well for any of my people. 

Think about it--German-Jew plus big surprise equals...oh yeah, seizure of property, stripping of citizenship rights, labor camps, starvation diets, and death by poison gas followed by an unmarked grave. Yes, it was a wonderful surprise for everyone who thought that the Jews and the Freemasons were the cause of Germany's economic problems, but it was hardly a birthday surprise that you wanted to have if you were a Jew.

(Hey, I am a German-Jew--I am allowed to make holocaust jokes.)  

Magician and heretic and big surprise equals...outlawing of one's writing by the Church, surprise visits by the Spanish Inquisition,  house arrests, marshmallows roasted over bonfires of humans going straight to hell, painful torture and death followed by an unmarked grave. Yes, it was wonderful surprise for those who believed that the Church was the only path to salvation and that those who thought differently were traitors to humanity, but it was hardly a birthday surprise that you wanted if you were a magician and heretic.

(Hey, I am a magician and a heretic--of course, I am going to make jokes about the Inquisition; it is what heretical magicians do.)

Witch and big surprise equals...outlawing of one's very existence by the powers that be, kings screaming that witches are trying to hex him to death, big cash rewards for every convicted witch, full prisons, less crazy cat ladies, and a boom for the kindling businesses, painful torture and fiery death followed by an unmarked grave. Yes, it was a wonderful surprise for those who did not want to be turned into frogs, but it was a hardly a birthday surprise that you wanted to have if you were a witch.

(Hey, I am a witch--the Big Book of Shadows say that witch hunts are not funny, but when has I allowed the political correct crowd keep me from making a bad joke?)

So hearing the 45th and final President of the United States say that we are going to have a "great, great surprise" sends a shiver down my back.

What could he possibly do with his magic pen (a pen that he screamed Obama should not have been using) that is going to fix the latest issue...which is...oh yeah--healthcare--what can he possibly do to fix the healthcare and health insurance markets?

Do away with the subsidies that support Obamacare? Which would kill Obamacare, but do nothing else--it will not fix the problem that poor sick can't afford insurance.

Declare that only losers can't afford health insurance and sky high deductibles? Which would be totally ignored by the people who voted for him because they are reality challenged.

Make a replacement law all by himself? Which actually violates the Constitution's division of powers--but who cares? The only parts of the Constitution that his supporters care about are their right to bear arms and their religious right to believe that all non-Christians and Biblical law violators should be burned at the stake.

Outlaw liberals who are the real reason that Republican healthcare reform is not passing? Hello, mass arrests, journalists shot, liberals killed in the streets, death and unmarked graves for all.

What could he possibly do here that would actually be helpful in fixing the healthcare and health insurance crisis? Outlaw sick people? Declare that death and sickness are a Chinese hoax designed to cripple the US economy? Blame Obama?

Now, there will be those who hate me for writing this stuff, saying that Trump is not an evil man, and that only losers can't afford healthcare.

By the way, I was one of the "losers" working more than forty hours a week, managing a restaurant, who had a choice between paying for health insurance that I could not use because the deductible was more than I made in a year; or dropping my useless health insurance, so that I could afford to pay my rent. Not to mention coming from a poor family (with eight kids because birth control was a tool of the devil), who also could not afford health insurance and health care either.

Do you really think I wanted to be an untreated bipolar on the verge of suicide or murdering people with an ax?

No, I can't imagine anything good for people like me coming out of a "great, great surprise" sprung by our reality star of a President.

As always, feel free to scream that I need to be burned at the stake for not believing that God, himself, picked Trump as our President, and that the real problem in America are people who think as I do.

And it is a bigly magic pen, the best bigly magic pen ever.

Are you an evil witch or magician who thinks that Trump is going to use his magic pen to outlaw everyone who disagrees with him? Consider taking part in the global monthly waning crescent moon ritual to bind the actions of President Donald J. Trump.

For full text of Global Binding Ritual of Trump, click here. 

Dates for future Global Bind Donald J. Trump rituals 

2017

July 21; August 19; September 18; October 17; November 16; December 16

For a full list of future Bind Trump dates, click here.

A magical sigil being used by some to bind Trump.