Top thirteen signs that you are a poor magician or witch

The top thirteen signs that you might be a poor magician or witch.


You might be a poor magician or witch if...


13. You have colored talismans using crayons.


12. Your pillars and other temple furniture are made from found materials.


11. You know the names of the spirits that rule the local public transportation district.


10. You have grilled, baked, and eaten the spirit offering.


9. You have resorted to weather magic rather than fiddle with the thermostat.


8. Your familiar earns their keep by catching mice and bugs.


7. Your Book of Shadows consists of pages photocopied from public library books.


6. Your ritual room doubles as a family room, office, bedroom, or kitchen.


5. You restrict your herb use to what you can grow.


4. Your ritual knife doubles as a carving tool.


3. You have used your chalice to catch rain water from the leaky roof.


2. The spirits receive discounted wine as an offering.


1. You have accepted government surplus cheese as payment for a Tarot reading or spell working.


(And before you get upset with me, remember that I am speaking from experience.)

One percent has always existed

Recently, I have started working with the lightning glyphs from Jason Miller's book. And as a side effect, I have had some thoughts about Jupiter, wealth, and the effect of luck on my own little universe.


(And I was thinking about this stuff before the rash blog posts that have occurred in the last couple of days on Jupiter--the blogosphere seems to have a hive mind *wink*.)


First, the one percent has always been with us. In the cave man days, it was the cave that housed the best hunter-gatherer. The Romans had one percent-ers. And the far future will have one percent-ers...unless humanity becomes a communist hive mind.


Second, it is a really great time to be alive. Merit and luck have never been bigger factors in turning people into successes than today. And merit and luck today can consist of the world's dumbest YouTube video.


Third, in my chosen profession (ye old world of writing), I am already pretty lucky. Your average self-published writer only sells nine copies (according to one source), and I am doing way better than that.


And finally, I really do not care about how rich people are. The one percent-ers can remain rich. What actually matters to me is how poor I am, hence my working with the lightning glyphs of Jupiter.


(Yes, I know I should want everyone to be equal in terms of money, but I am not yet enlightened enough to join the communist hive mind yet.)

All materialistic magic is black magic

A spell involving a Jupiter Lightning Glyph and two monkeys.

Happy New Year!

And given that it is the first day of the New Year (2013), it is now time to make certain of my critics happy and issue yet another bloody annual disclosure statement.

This year's complaint--I do materialistic mundane magic.

Now why does this need a disclosure statement?! Well, according to some extreme opinions of some experts, you cannot do magic to affect the physical mundane world while also working on spiritual development. In fact, some of these experts believe that all mundane related magic is black magic...in other words, only spiritual development is white magic.

It won't be so bad, except that some of these so-called experts state that once you do mundane magic, you can never complete the Great Work. Ever. No matter how much time, energy, or lifetimes you spend doing the Work.

Therefore, because I do materialistic magic, and I started off doing material magic, I can never complete the Great Work...therefore, why are you reading this blog?

Now, personally, I believe that not only is this idea extreme, it is also wrong. Yes, I said--wrong. It is based on the idea that the material world is evil, and that the spiritual (heaven) is good. It is an idea that affects our entire culture, thanks to the ideas of Judaism, Christianity and Islam (all of whom inherited it from Zoroastrianism). Therefore, it is understandable hearing this from occultists who come from esoteric groups that require or emphasize one of these religions, such as most Golden Dawn groups.

The really sad part is that I hear this from pagans and Wiccans who are drawing inspiration from other religions that do not have this fatal duality.

And the really annoying part is that Golden Dawn enshrined this idea right into its Outer and Inner Order Oaths. Yes, you can be expelled from GD just for doing a simple money spell. It is better to live under a bridge homeless than do a spell to gather a little rent money in an emergency.

(Please note that in two of the Inner Order courses that I suffered though, I was required to do mundane magic--I am guessing that by the strict classic version, they would not be considered really Golden Dawn.)

Here is a hint for the Wiccans who believe in this duality--read the Charge of the Goddess which states off with: "Whenever you have need of anything, once in the month and better it be when the moon is full, then shall you assemble in some secret place and adore the spirit of me, who am Queen of all witches." How can you start an invocation like that, have no concept of heaven, and still end up with a severe duality that says the material world can never be spiritual?!

And for those of you who are curious, the BIORC does not view all materialistic magic as black magic (it is complicated determining what black magic is...but just because it is aimed at the material world does not automatically make it black magic), and spiritual development is tied to developing the mundane side of one's life at the same time. It is little things like that which will ensure that the BIORC is not considered Golden Dawn by everyone within ten years (if we are not already beyond the point of no return).

Of course, if you are really concerned about my behavior, you better tell Jason Miller that I am misusing one of his Jupiter lightning glyphs to try to promote evil monkeys. (I am quite sure that he has something to say about this subject.) And for the so-called experts, well, they are always right and I am always wrong as far as they are concerned, which is why you are supposed to be reading their blog and forum posts and not mine. Listen to their superior wisdom because I am busy making things up as I go along, and they have the experience of excellent teachers that I didn't have.

Happy New Year!

[Update: July 2013: Due to differences in sales expectations and business philosophy, in early July 2013, I ceased to be involved in the Turtle Monkey project.]