Pagan Meme Survey

Over on Adventures in Witchery, Veles posted his response to one of those pagan surveys that we get asked to full out in the forums when we join. I tend not to fill them out. Mainly, because like Veles, I find some of the questions to be sub-par (ok, idiotic). Fortunately, I have not ran into the Golden Dawn/ceremonial magic version (though I suspect that there is one out there someplace).

So here are my responses to the same pagan survey...I might not be a nice person.

Basics

Do you have a magical/Pagan name? No, what I have is a pen name and a motto. The second motto I took in Golden Dawn was Morgana Draconis, and I used a variation of it for my pen name. Over my magical career, I have adopted a dozon mottos (each new Order requires a new motto, go figure), but I have never taken on a magical name...unless Smart-A** counts.

What does it mean? It means that if I am going to be called an evil person, then I am going to be the best evil person that I can be.

How did you find Paganism? I think that it found me.

How long have you been practicing? I have been a Witch since 1979, and a card-carrying member of Golden Dawn since 1992.

Solitary or group practitioner? What day of the week is it? And what am I working on?

What is your path? The Viking path of you didn't bolt down your Egyptian gods and goddesses, an equal opportunity path of theft and misappropriation disguised as mercantilism and Victorian pragmatism.

Are you out of the broom closet? Yes, since 1979. It made my mother sad.

Deity

Who is your patron God? What day of the week is it? What am I working on?

Who is your patron Goddess? Bast, and whoever else decides to show up today.

What Gods do you worship? What day of the week is it? What am I working on?

Do you fear darkly aspected Gods/Goddesses? Or do you respect them? Hail Sekmet! Hail Odin! Hail Loki! Hail the Baron! My gods and goddesses eat fluff bunnies and new agers for breakfast.

Do you worship the Christian God? Isn't he the jealous one? Or is he the Gnostic?

Do you ever worship animals? Of course, I am owned by cats.

Or plants? Chocolate, cafferine, sugar beets, sugar cane, and corn.

Nature

Do you regularly commune in nature? Does talking to a friend while working in my herb garden count?

Ever walked barefoot in the woods? No. Isn't that dangerous?

Taken a camping trip just to talk to nature? Camping?! You are kidding, right?! Camping is for drinking and shooting.

Describe the moment that you felt closest to Mother Earth? I think that would be the time I fell off a roof.

Do you have a familiar? No. I am owned by cats, and pets are forbidden by them.

Have you ever called upon the power of an animal in ritual? Kitty, I am trying to mediate here---quit kneading my lap.

Or a plant? There is not enourgh mugwort in the incense burner if you can see the person on the other side of the room.

Do you hug trees? Only if I am about to vomit.

Give them gifts? Water and compost. And thanks when I harvest them.

What is your favorite flower to work with? Marigolds for honoring the dead.

What is your favorite tree to work with? Plum trees makes great wands.

Wheel of the Year

What is your favorite holiday? Halloween.

What is your least favorite holiday? How can you dislike holidays?

Have you ever held a ritual on a holiday? Yes.

Have you ever taken a day off to celebrate a Pagan holiday? No, but I have taken days off to recover from them.

Do you celebrate Yule on December 21st rather than the 25th? I celebrate both.

Have you ever felt the veil thin? Which one? Yes on many of them.

Ever danced the Maypole? Yes. Passerbys looked at us strangely.

Know what the Maypole symbolizes? *giggle*

How do you usually celebrate the Pagan holidays? With laughter.

Divination

Do you use the Tarot? Tarot is not just for divination anymore.

Do you use runes? Runes are not just for divination anymore.

Do you use a pendulum? Only when my Advanced Adept Advisor insists that I use it.

Do you use dowsing rods? You mean that coat hanger I cut up?

Do you use astrology? Astrology is not just for divination anymore.

Any other form of divination? Is your form of divination bolted down?

Spells

What was the first spell that you did? Invisible friend.

What was the latest? Ask me again in ten minutes.

Ever done a love spell? Yes. Though it was more of a "Find someone willing to put up with my insanity" spell.

A job spell? In this economy? You are kidding, right? And does using a "Find new employee" spell count as a job spell?

A healing spell? I am not sure if I would call it a spell.

What was the most powerful spell you have ever performed? This is a very badly worded question. Are we measuring this by EKP? Or results? Or the number of people annoyed?

What deities do you usually call on? What day of the week is it? What am I working on?

Cryptozoology

Do you believe in Vampires? What type? And do CEOs count?

Werewolves? Maybe.

Shapeshifters? Define shapeshifting.

Elves? Cookies!!!!

Fairies? Yes.

Dragons? What nationality?

Nymphs? I once dated a nymph.

Sprites? Ain't they fairies?

Mermaids? Am I going on an ocean journey?

Satyrs? Ain't they fairies also?

Ever "seen" any of the above? Why would I want to admit that I have seen things without the liberal use of drugs?

Ever talked to any of the above? Only when they keep hiding my stuff, tangling my hair, and untying my shoes.

Ever used any of the above in magic? I now have a rule about inviting them into my workspace.

Do you have one of them as a personal guardian? Do I look like a trusting soul?

Random

Do you see a rabbit, man or woman in the moon? Only the aliens that crashlanded on it.

Own a cat? No. Several cats own me.

When you meditate, what does your happy place look like? What day is it? What am I working on?

Do you work with Charkas? What day is it? What am I working on?

Do you believe in past lives? Yes.

If so, describe a few briefly. Nameless scribe, ancient Egypt. Been in several wars. Low profile stuff.

Do you believe in soul mates? Those would be the "lifetime sentence" people, right?

Do you have a spirit guide? What day is it? What am I working on?

Is it always love and light? What day is it? What am I working on?