|Conspiracy writing cat listens to Elvis between blog posts.|
I no longer have to lie about the conspiracy. No longer do my cats (Secret Chiefs) have to come up with new and better lies to hide the truth. Finally, I can tell the truth.
Elvis is a better spiritual leader than David Griffin.
Furthermore, Nick Farrell and Pat Zalewski both know it. Their respective Orders are all about listening to Elvis albums and trying to understand the full awesomeness of the King---Elvis Presley. They have all his albums, and one of them even has some of his sweat in a vial.
And to prove that this is the truth, I will tell you a startling revelation---the Vault of the Adepts is made with painted velvet walls, and all the Third Order members wear blue suede shoes. It is true. All the proof you need is to know is that Elvis lived, died, and will be revived in the future.
The Secret Chiefs say, Meow--you are nothing but a hound dog.
|Elvis fans know the truth.|