Saturday, April 1, 2017

Things that you might get expelled from an Order for (or Petition your fearless leader to get rid of these evil people)

This post was inspired by an exchange on Facebook which lead me to think of all the silly things that I have seen (or heard) that got members (initiates) expelled from lodges, Orders, covens, and traditions over the years.

There are some things that should get one banned from an occult group, such as being a serial ax murderer or being a sexual creeper or being the seller of pyramid schemes, things that no one in their right mind would agree is acceptable behavior--yet often are allowed by the leaders of occultism when it is done by themselves or their favorite students.

To balance off the lack of expulsion of the expel-worthy, what the occult community actually gets is expulsions over stuff that probably shouldn't be expel-worthy offenses, but totally are if the leadership takes a dislike to you...which tends to make one believe that certain occult leaders are only interested in their own egos, money! money! money! and sexual conquests.

But never fear, expulsions are always done for the "good of the tradition" and the "lesson that they will provide to the former member." Remember believing otherwise is an expel-worthy offense. Remember that the fearless leader does not want to do this, but the Secret Chiefs of the tradition have spoken.

In no particular order, you might get expelled from an occult group if you...

...disagree with the leader's politics.

[Therefore, my socialist tendencies (called communism by those who are enlightened) should get me kicked out of the Golden Dawn tradition by those noble leaders who embrace the true political faith of the Freedom Initiative Republicans (formerly known as Teaparty Republicans).]

...are a writer.

[True story, I was a member of a "Golden Dawn" Order, and was good to go for the next initiation three months before, two months before, one month before...and then totally unacceptable for the next initiation two weeks before. I was told that I had developed "ego issues" and was told not to come back until I fixed them. So what were the ego issues? Oh, the leader had learned that I was a writer who eventually wanted to write about the occult.]

...complain about the antics of "trusted officers."

[True story, an whole bunch of European initiates got expelled from one group when they complained that they did not want a convicted sex offender to be one of their officers. Guess who was kept as a member.]

...being a "black magician."

[Which much means that you can be thrown out for any magic that you do, including healing puppies.]

...refusing to expel someone.

[Oh yes, Order officers can be expelled if they do not expel the people that the Chief of an Order tells them to.]

...turn down an sexual advancement.

[Sorry, if you want to remain a member, you have to have sex with Supreme Imperator Pussy Grabber Midas--it was why we taught you about blindfolds in Neophyte.]

...get asked questions about occult matters in front of the group's leader.

[Because the Secret Chiefs say that your fearless leader is to be the membership's sole source of occult wisdom and knowledge. It is one thing to assign work to their aides, who are 100% loyal to them and the Secret Chiefs, but to allow an ordinary member to expound upon mysteries is simply evil.]

...fermenting rebellion.

[I told you not to criticize the leadership, or let them know that you can hex your way out of a wet paper bag, or know more than they do. Never insist that their vices outweigh their virtues. And never show any sign of leadership or organization talent.]

...refusing to shell out for additional contributions.

[By keeping your money in your wallet, you prove that you are evil and do not care about the welfare of the planet and its people who are being served by the greatest of servants, your noble and highly graded fearless leader.]

...talking to former members of the tradition.

[After all, expelled members always lie about why they were expelled.]

 ...learn the true lineage of your fearless leader. especially if you dirty your tongue telling other people about it.

[Remember that claims that some people conjured a Goetia spirit who told them that they were a Magus (9=2), or other people never underwent a single Outer Order initiation before conning their way into Adeptus Minor, or who have made up invisible people, or simply photocopied the material of other authorities and tradition, are completely and utterly false lies spread by those who envy their brilliance. Your fearless leader really did make contact with the one true tradition and its guardians who promptly decided that they were the greatest occultist ever and the only person that they would ever speak to.]

...disagree with your fearless leader's favorite conspiracy theory.

[Even if you were at the event, and remember it completely differently, you are wrong--or worse, a paid troll and traitor to humanity.]

...taking medication.

[Taking medication for physical ailments proves that you are unworthy of the hidden wisdom of the tradition. Taking medication for mental issues just proves that you are a dangerous psychopath that is going to kill everyone.]

...ask too many questions.

[Remember that your leader can only give you information by the spoonful because if you saw the whole system all at once, your head would explode.]

...being a spy.

[Of course, a spy will say that they are not a spy.]

...belonging to a forbidden society, political party, church, or religion. 

[This is sure proof that the darkness and evil of the world is out to destroy their group--after all, they sent you to wreck havoc with your trollish ways.]

...speaking positively about their rivals.

[You forgot that their rivals have never done anything worthy of compliment. The only occult leader who ever done anything positive is your own fearless leader.]

...laughed at this blog post.

[Because this post was nothing but pure vicious lies told by a paid CIA troll to help destory their group once and for all.]

Satire--making jokes about things that actually happened, but not quite in the manner that you told the story...because if you actually told the story exactly the way it really occurred, no one would actually believe that it was the truth.
So what inspired this post? A joke that my commie political opinions would be enough to get me tossed out of the Golden Dawn tradition if certain GD leaders could actually expel me from the tradition (they can't because I am not a member of their downline). 

First, I painted all Republicans as evil.
Tax the rich, and give poor people free healthcare.
And that means that I am a communist and should be banned from GD, right?
And people took this seriously, believing that certain parties were going to expel for my political positions....which tell you that this type of behavior is actually occurring in some occult groups.

1 comment:

James Bulls said...

All too often criticism is equated with treason.