QoD Rufus on Demonic Plumbing

Rufus just wrote a pro-home ownership post on his blog that included the following gem:

"Jesus, did you know that plumbers just basically go into a house and plumb it however the fuck they want? As long as the water goes down the right hole, it's pretty much legal. I'm pretty sure the people who plumbed this house over the last 60 years were dabblers in the Necronomicon. If I ran all the faucets and flushed all the toilets at the same time, Marduk would appear in the living room, no lie."

I thought that the plumber who did my house was bad (the man managed to get fool-proof parts in completely backwards)---and don't get me started about the other work he did (he was a plumber, supposely)---but I agree with Rufus that I would rahter own a house than be a renter.

It is Hug a Secret Chief Day

It is Hug a Secret Chief Day! Yes, it is Hug a Cat Day. Or at least, one of them...there is as much doubt on the correct day to hug your cat as there is on which Golden Dawn Order is the most true and legitimate. Just to be safe, try hugging a Secret Chief everyday...provided that they do not claw your eyes out for violating their sacredness. "Your oath says that you will fed me, entertain me, and clean out my litter box; it says nothing about groping me."

QoD Ananael Qaa on the Value of Arguing over Survival of Pagan Systems

The following quote is from Ananael Qaa, who does the Augoeides blog (which I read regularly because he finds news items that I completely miss otherwise); Ananael was commenting on a re-route post by VVF-Otherwordly Sorcery pointing out the current blog posts by Caroline Tully and David Griffin regarding the work of Professor Ronald Hutton.

"Aside from its academic value [arguing over the survival of pagan traditions] is such a silly subject. It's worthwhile to try and work out what the real history is, but why this would have any effect on someone's magical or spiritual practices is completely beyond me.

"From a technical standpoint the modernity of a system is a feature, not a bug. Horsedrawn carriages have a noble and ancient history in our civilization, but if you own a modern car you're going to beat your Amish neighbor into town every time."

And the worst that happened yesterday



So the day of the Rapture came and went, and I am still here. I guess that means that I am going to have to pay off my student loans someday. My current plan is to become a pirate. (Image is from "Twenty Rejected Books for Pirates"; several of which I found myself saying, "Hey, isn't that a Golden Dawn commentary just waiting to happen"; I know---I am strange.) Not being raptured and facing the eventual chore of repaying my student loans is the worst thing that happened yesterday. I guess my next big hope is December 2012. What? The end of the world is not supposed to happen just to erase my student loan debt? Oy vey. The other thing that happened yesterday was that my Advanced Adept Advisor looked at me and told me that I really need to take a six-month foundational course in a certain subject ("remedial" for those who are not of the politically-correct school of conversation). No, that was not a bad thing. Actually, that was a good thing. I have been saying for months to my fellow lodge members that I really needed to take some time and learn the basics in the topic that I am drowning in. It is partially the fault of a previous lack of personal interest in the topic (as evidenced by my slim library selection); partially the fault of the previous groups that I belonged to (Hathoor Temple thought I was going to set myself on fire; come to think of it, so does Bast Temple); and partially the fact that when I hit that stage of the Inner Order training, I was suffering from some of the heaviest college classes I ever took (this coming semester promises to be an even bigger joy---ahh, the joys of bening non-traditional college student). Yes, I am one of the retarded Adepts---as if you didn't already know. So what the worst that happened to you yesterday?

MTGN Rapture

Yes, it is time for another installment of Magic the Gathering NOT!? the game that is fun for all spiritual grades of attainment. And today, we are allowing the doomsayers to play by introducing one of their favorite cards---the Rapture, an enchantment with a two white mana casting cost. Rapture goes into your graveyard during your upkeep if you control no white creatures; at the end of your turn, you gain one life. But wait! There is an added benefit. For seven mana, all white creatures are removed from the game, no matter whether they are in play, in a hand, in a library, or in a graveyard. No pure thing can hide from the Rapture. Unpure beings, such as those who have additional colored casting costs, upkeep costs, or activation costs are exempt from being raptured; this includes those pesky enchant creature spells. Don't want the unpure from enjoying heaven, now do we? And the real joy of this card is that anyone can activate this creature removal ability; all they need to do is pray and play the activation cost. Inconvenient? Doesn't match your math and announcements? You can prevent the effect by paying just two mana. And so can any other player, which allows you to claim that the timing was not right and it wasn't your fault that the math was wrong. Yes, the Rapture is a card sure to pick up the game for all those true believers. Plus, it is great for cult based decks---just add kool-aid. [Artist's note: the flavor quote, "I would rather ask for forgiveness than premission" is not by the Crowley most occultists know and have been loved by; it is actually the Mark Shepard version of Crowley (a crossroad demon, who became king of hell) from the Supernatural television series. I might be a geek.]

Two days until the Rapture

We are a mere 48 hours away from the scheduled Rapture. More or less.

Now, for those of you who are not raptured, let me just state upfront that I will be here on Sunday to serve you up another serving of blogicous goodness. I am not a Christian, so I am extempt from rapturing---unless God decides to punish me for the comment about his son, Jesus, being a ceremonial magician...in which case, one of my cats will take over my blogging duties.

If the rapture happens, and you are left behind, remember that Rapture Looting Day starts promptly at seven. Pagan standard time will not be honored. It is first come, first grab---the standard rule for all looting events. I am looking forward to the looting; I haven't looted anything since me and Hagar looted Rome ages ago. Medium Large, in their handy Guide to Preparing for the Rapture, says that one should wait 72 hours before one starts to loot; they also mention the fact that you need a rapture wristband. The wristband is for the rapturing, not the looting.

Not everyone believes that the rapture is going to happen like the more dedicated Christians think it is going to happen. Alex Sumner puts forth a theory that instead of being taken up into heaven, that those who are raptured will have Christ possess them. *blank look* Does this mean that Jesus will control the zombie hoarde?

Of course, one must keep an eye out on Facebook for photos that prove the rapture is starting. Because the news of the disappearances will break on Twitter and Facebook first---where else would it happen? For those who would like to follow my reporting of events, you can follow me on Twitter---because we all know that I am going to spend an hour there Saturday tweeting and retweeting the unfolding of events...unless my wife decides that I have better things to do, like laundry and dishes.

Now, like most comedians, I have made a list of the people that I would like to see raptured the most. The person at the top of my list: Sarah Palin. The second person on my list: Ann Coulter. I am still debating my third slot---I am leaning towards Trump's hairpiece.

For those parents, who will have kids who are not raptured and chose to remain here with them, there is a new parenting forum for unconvential (pagan, wiccan and occult involved) parents: Parentes Nefarii. Ok, maybe deciding that you will or will not be raptured is not an option; but given how unclear the rules are, I think that one can give it a try.

Anyway, remember to have fun on Saturday night. Loot safe, party hard, and remember to take pictures of the piles of empty clothes.

Starting the countdown to the June OFM

The countdown to the Hearthstone Community Church's June Open Full Moon Ritual started on Friday. Or at least, for me it started on Friday. Of course, I might be the only one counting down to it---for I am the person that gets to take the blame for it if all goes horribly wrong.

Yes, that is right---I am leading another OFM.

This will be the fifth year in a row that I have done an OFM on the behalf of Bast Temple. And the sixth OFM ritual that I have written (not that anyone ever associates me with the first one---everyone always presumes that I was merely a player in that ritual).

Exactly how much I need to accomplish before the ritual day, June 10th, is still fuzzy. I know that I need to produce a new flyer for the lodge, a blurb and a column for the newsletter.

Unfortunately, a couple of the things I want to get done before the big day are beginning to look like they are not going to happen. Which may or may not be ok---advertising and me are always a hit and miss operation.

Anyways, I will probably be blogging about this some more over the course of the next month---ye have been warned.