My YouTube clip hit a million views today
A firestorm of grief and bile
Politics and religion flooded my comments
Going to a special circle in doggy hell, some say
Sleeping with Hitler's corpse, others insist
Because what I did was in error
And just plain Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!
The local news parked outside
National news eyeing me from above
Even made the news in China
Both the Alphabet and the Chin want to interview me
But I am holding out for an invite
From the sober Englishman
Because I did Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!
Listen to me! Innocent I am!
No need for sheriff
Nor the Humane Society
My pets are safe and sound
It is your protests freaking them out
No actual animals hurt
Just cartoon puppies
Can't you see the editing?
I did it myself
Puppies blue, green and yellow
Hardly natural colors at all
Children should know better already
Should know that juggling puppies
Is just plain Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!
You howl! and you scream!
Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!
But do you know where your children are?
Yes, watching me juggle cartoon puppies
So please bear in mind I could do worse
And really teach them Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!
By juggling cartoon kittens instead.