Monday, November 20, 2017

The sexual misdeeds of Aleister Crowley (Creepy Uncle of Wicca and Golden Dawn)

The other day, some imp forwarded a Facebook notification to me--someone declared that it was time to reveal Aleister Crowley's sexual abuse of....


Seriously, is there any occultist alive today who does not know the legend of Wicca and Golden Dawn's creepy family member, the randy Aleister Crowley? Of the hearts he broke? Of the demons and drugs he ingested? Of the goats he touched?

It is not news that he did such things. In fact, I am fairly sure that he bragged about doing such things. I could be wrong about the bragging; I haven't read any of his works in over a decade.*

[*Yes, I know--I have to turn in my magical union card right now, for ignoring all the great things found in Crowley's works. But I have been busy: hexing Presidents; causing tires to fall off the back of trucks; cleaning litter boxes; debating about whether or not, I want to go back to university to earn my Masters degree; writing a horrible satire about the true history of the modern occult world--you know--unimportant stuff.]

My rule of thumb: Assume Crowley sexually harassed everyone he ever met. And that he porked everyone who didn't run away fast enough. If he was alive today, he would still be the creepy uncle saying, "You are sexy. Want to do drugs and make out?"**

[**It should be noted that there are a couple of people in the modern occult community that I think that even Crowley would say, "Thanks, but no thanks" to if the possibility of porking them ever came up. In fact, some of his greatest haters fall under the label: "So fugly that even Aleister Crowley would not do them."]

The wonderfulness about my rule of thumb is that I do not have to waste time wondering if he sexually harassed, and possibly porked someone. I can go directly to the question that his lifestyle always generates: "Could Creepy Uncle Al be right about the nature of the universe?"

And the question comes up a lot.

The genius occult leader who came out and shouted, "It is time to reveal Crowley's worst sexual misdeeds!!!" is a little late to the party.*** I understand that talking about powerful men abusing their positions and grabbing pussy while stroking their pickle is the hot topic of the month. Yes, let's hop on that flaming dumpster fire of a parade float, shall we?

[***In all fairness, the occult leader may have gone on to do something witty, like post pictures of cute goats--I don't know--I do not read his posts because: 1--I am not interested in Alt-Right politics, 2--He has been making up lies for nearly twenty years about all the greatest occultists, 3--It is more fun to clean out the litter boxes, and 4--I am banned and blocked from his Facebook group. The most important reason for not reading his stuff is number three; least important is four...because I could make a sock if I really, really wanted to read his posts.]

 That flaming dumpster fire of a parade float comes by once a day if you live near the intersection of MagicIsFun and CrowleyWasTheGreatestAdeptEver. And it has been running for years--it is more reliable than any bus or train I have ever encountered. At least once a day on the internet, someone says...

"Aleister Crowley was a sexual predator; and therefore, we should toss all his stuff into a dumpster and set fire to it because there is absolutely no way that a pervert could create a decent occult system with any merit in it."

Wait, that sounded too educated. Let me try again...

"Crowley! Sex! Drugs! Satan! Bad! Very bad! Run away!"

This is the type of person who does not listen to eighties hair metal because the musicians are indulging in Sex! Drugs! Satan!...and maybe Crowley!

Because nothing entertaining and interesting has ever been created from that evils of a rock and roll lifestyle.

And Aleister Crowley was definitely someone who lived a rock and roll lifestyle. It is expected that such people live such a outrageous lifestyle. If you met Crowley, you would be disappointed if he didn't offer you some candy and a ride in his van. (You don't want to be one of the fugly people, do you?)

So the real issue is not that Aleister Crowley was a sexual menace to society, but rather "Does the work of Aleister Crowley contribute to our knowledge of the occult sciences and its history?"

And the answer to that is: Yes.****

[****More so than photocopying the same ritual fifteen times, and declaring it a masterpiece.]

Like it or not, Crowley contributed ideas and beliefs to the modern occult world. He is a source for what the early Golden Dawn looked like. His works have been raided for lessons and rituals by many modern occultists. He influenced a lot of people, including members of both modern Golden Dawn and Wicca. He is important.

And not liking his rock and roll lifestyle does not change that fact.


Next time you want the internet to go wild, I suggest posting pictures of cute goats.

If you do not find Aleister Crowley sexy, then there is something wrong with you have eyes.


The ocelot said...

SFECW is my new abbreviation - So Fugly Even Crowley Wouldn't.

jac said...

At least Crowley made no attempt to cover up, hide, or pretend that he was "pure." He was what he said he was, take it or leave it. I can respect that, at least, and see the value in what he wrote.