Monday, September 30, 2013

Grimoires then and now (31-HP Day 1)

In the olden days
Grimoires were jealously guarded
Hidden among other tomes of lore.
Barbarous names
Strange god names
Binds of demons
Wings of angels
All recorded and written down
For the use of the Master of the Mysteries.
Expounded upon in detail
By master to apprentice
Under the seal of secrecy.
Fears of the noose and fiery stake
Kept them rare as dragon's teeth.

Grimoires were little known
Translated by great occultists.
Astrological lore
Kabbalistic mysteries
Pagan beliefs
All smothered with a layer of Christ.
Reserved for those worthy ones
With eyes to see and ears to hear.
Paid for, bartered for
Hand-copied, mimeographed,
Photocopied, bound and filed.
Mythic histories and secret chiefs
Kept them as rare as Masonic handshakes.

Today and maybe tomorrow
Grimoires are knee-deep
Debated and dissected by the herd.
Fraudulent authors
Blinded symbols
Heretic beliefs
Pagan survivals
Open to all, argued by all.
Those outside the pale
Prejudge texts and adepts alike.
Scanned and pixelized
Rivers of free information.
Everyone's a master and no one's a neophyte
Keeps the grimoires unused as common sense.

August readership stats

According to the little interior widget of Blogger, this blog had 7778 page views for the month of August. On one hand, I am a little proud of all the sevens in the first part (777 baby!); on the second hand, I am a little proud of the 78 on the end; on the third hand, I am a little weird for being excited about this. The fact that I seem to have three hands, well, that is just normal, isn't it?

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Celtic Soul Jewelry and Pottery sale (plus announcing international shipping)

Recent items added to the Celtic Soul Etsy shop.
My wife's jewelry and pottery business, Celtic Soul Jewelry and Pottery, is currently having a 20% off sale on all pendants (no coupon necessary) until the end of September. And tomorrow, a 20% sale on mortar and pestles begins (sale lasts until October 26th, 2013).

She has recently created some more Egyptian fridge magnets, which were just listed on Etsy over the last couple of days, along with a few more pendants.

Plus, Celtic Soul is now going to be able to ship to many more places, thanks to my wife updating her international shipping policies--which is welcome news for those who live outside of the United States and Canada.

Do I really need to say that I am not a Nazi?!

[This blog post was in response to a blog post written by Donald Michael Kraig.]

Yesterday, Donald Michael Kraig wrote a blog post asking Golden Dawn leaders to come out and state that the esoteric tradition of Golden Dawn has nothing to do with the Greek political party of Chrysi Augi (which may have possible Neo-Nazi leanings). Kraig also wanted Golden Dawn leaders to state whether or not they support the ideals and goals of the Chrysi Augi.

Why? Because the Greek name "Chrysi Augi" translates into English as "Golden Dawn."

My first reaction to his post was to ignore it. Only later when I saw that it was a hot-button issue that I considered changing my mind. Honestly, I still want to ignore it--just like I ignored several others who have became concerned about this issue (which is basically that the news media decided to use the label "Golden Dawn" instead of using the proper name for the Greek political party "Chrysi Augi"--yes, this is all about lazy journalists).

Honestly, do any of us really need to come out and openly have to say that we are not Neo-Nazis?! or that the esoteric tradition of Golden Dawn has nothing to do with the Chrysi Augi outside of the misfortunate choice of names. (And we had the name first--1888 baby!)

Ok, maybe. There have been some Nazi and right wing supporters during the course of the history of the esoteric tradition that we know as Golden Dawn (Crowley springs to mind for some reason). And there have been rumors generated by some of the more hostile modern members that some of the other members (outside of their choice group, of course) are actually Neo-Nazis (there are also rumors that we all are in the employ of the SRIA and/or secret Satanists).

For the record, I am not a Nazi, Neo-Nazi, or a Pro-Nazi. Nor am I a member of the SRIA or an agent of their system. As for the Satanist part...well, according to some/most/all Christians if you do not worship Jesus, then you are a by that standard, I probably am...even if I do not believe in Satan personally.

Of course, some will point to my small collection of books on World War II, including two about Nazi uniforms, and tell you that I am lying. Why? Because it suits their purposes to have you believe that I am a Nazi, or a member of the SRIA, or a Satanist. After all, I dislike them, therefore I have to be evil.

So believe what you will...because you are going to anyways, right? It does not matter that I come from a line of Jews who became Catholics to avoid being burnt at the stake; if you do not want to believe the truth, you are not going to.

The official response to Kraig's request can be read on the official BIORC blog.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Top twelve ways to annoy evil BNPs (and evil BNMs and evil BNWs and etc)

Admit to it. You want to annoy the evil BNPs (Big Name Pagans), evil BNMs (Big Name Magicians), and evil BNWs (Big Name Witches). But how to go about doing this? You can't honestly use the N-word and the S-word because 1) odds are that they will call you by those words first; 2) they might actually be members of the N-word and/or S-word; 3) and most importantly, you are a lady and/or gentleman, therefore you are more elegant and creative in the ways that you annoy people, especially evil people who deserve to be annoyed.

So here are the top twelve ways to annoy those evil BNPs, evil BNMs, and BNWs, without resorting to simple name-calling.

12. Give their books, videos, CDs, and other products the ratings and reviews that they so richly deserve.

The proper way to review a Big Name Author book is to see how badly it burns.
11. Openly admit to having faults--periodically embrace them and then regale the rest of us with tales about how far you are from being a perfected Living God.

(Regale! Regale! Regale! I just love how that word sounds, don't you?)

10. Take pleasure in the fact that you are a "troll" and/or a "truth hating" watchdog. After all, they are going to give you that merit badge, so you just as well sew it on to your Witch Scouts of the World sash with pride.

9. Be more entertaining and/or informative than they are.

8. Be immune to their superior magic and/or superpowers and/or super-logic and/or sex appeal.

7. Know your legal rights and responsibilities (aka know how to spot an empty legal threat).

6. Continue to believe that bad behavior by them is unacceptable despite their fame and/or superior position in the esoteric community and/or greater mental illness.

5. Be super polite to them while they are busy foaming at the mouth because you had the guts to point out the un-acceptableness of their behavior.

4. Openly mock their infinite wisdom. After all, every King and Queen deserves a court jester.

3. Take screenshots (and PDFs) of their dumbest statements; make sure their stupidity gets the exposure and/or fair it so richly deserves.

2. Openly state that you think that they are just a big bag of foul air.

And the number one way to annoy those pesky Big Name Pagans, Magicians, Witches, etc.:

*drum roll*

1. Continue breathing in and out.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

You might be an evil BNP if...

A genuine BNP.
[For the purposes of the following post, please remember that I tend to divide BNPs, BNMs and BNWs into two groups: 1) self-serving profit-greedy community-destroying evil ones; and 2) community-serving non-profit group-building good ones. In this post, I am talking about the worst qualities of the evil BNPs, BNMs and BNWs--though in all honesty, the good ones sometimes also indulge in these behaviors much to the irk of the esoteric community.]

You might be an evil BNP (Big Name Pagan), evil BNM (Big Name Magician), or evil BNW (Big Name Witch) if...

1) are instantly upset before reading the rest of this post.

2) brag about being on talk shows or an advisor to media companies.

3) have your own 1-800 number.

4) have minions [especially worrisome are sock puppets and dedicated defenders of your work].

5) brag about having the biggest group/most readers/most advanced students/most advanced teachings/a lineage that goes back to pre-Adam times.

6) launch lawyers at people for offenses unworthy of actual notice.

7)...all your profile pictures are glamour shots.

8) believe that you are always right, that you can say any damn fool thing you want, and that other people do not have the right to correct you [because only trolls and flamers claim that you are wrong].

9) one remembers the last time you said "I was wrong" or "I do not know the answer to the question."

10)...if you claim to be a living god, sole heir to a super secret esoteric tradition, a 113th degree in a system none of us know a thing about, a genius, or the upmost authority in a field of knowledge without a strong academic background in that field. [By "strong" I mean, would someone at an university consider you an actual authority.]

11) use the words "celebrity," "world famous," and/or "authorized representative of Tradition XYZ" to describe yourself.

12) own more than one trademark, business, or product line.

13) claim to personally bless the items that you sell.

14) claim to be able to lift the nasty curse that my ancestors had cast upon them.

15)...your website costs more per day than my entire monthly soda and cat food bill.

16) worry so much about people stealing your ideas that people have to sign non-disclosure agreements to access any of your lessons.

17) could pay my mortgage payment with the amount of money you earn with your speaking fees alone.

18)...national book clubs carry your books, CDs and videos.

19)...people outside of the esoteric community recognize your name.

20)...your esoteric writing actually makes you more money than a burger flipping job would.

21) are involved in most of the conflicts in your respective community because you either created the problem or you volunteered to fix the problem.

22) are on several councils and boards that have never actually seen you show up at a meeting.

23)...the spiritual and magical accomplishments, Grades and Degrees that you claim to have obtained could fill a small phone book.

24) insist on being the center of attention, and require star billing and an fee just to attend an event.

25) have already hand-picked your successor, but reserve the right to change your mind just in case they go nuts and/or try to become a BNP/BNM/BNW themselves.

26)...people fight to be able to kiss your ring.

27) are offended by this post because it perfectly describes you.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

My mythology is brand new (more or less)

Welcome to the Mabon 2013 edition of the Tarot Blog Hop. Today's subject is mythology which I know...well, every little about if we are talking classical mythology. 

Rough draft of the Tower card for the Monkey Tarot.
The fact that I know so little about classical mythology is probably best illustrated by my rough draft for the Lightning Blasted Tower card for the Monkey Tarot...or is it a rough draft for a Mythos Gang Tarot?...maybe a little of both at this stage.

I can't tell you the classical mythology that underlies the Tower card. I know that in Golden Dawn, the Tower is associated with Mars--but that is modern mythology. In fact, most of the mythology that I know is modern mythology.

And I am not sure that I am alone in being ignorant of classical mythology. I know that the class that I was in community college that read the Iliad and Paradise Lost seems blissfully ignorant of classical mythology for the most part (there were maybe three people in the class, other than the professor that is, who seemed to have a passing acquaintance with the subject). When I was growing up, I know that I wasn't exposed to a lot of classical mythology. Since then, I have studied mythology on my own...but I still cannot tell you how it might connect to the Tower card.

Furthermore, the mythologies that I have read the most about are not the classical mythologies that informs Western civilization. Our heritage is Greek and Roman mythology for the most part, plus the Biblical mythology, not the Norse and Ancient Egyptian mythologies that I am fond of.

Now, that does not mean that I am cut off from being to talk about the Tower card in terms of mythology...but the stories I use are really modern stories. Such as Ghostbusters, Back to the Future, and the Cthulhu mythos. Maybe a little Star Wars to boot. I am not sure if any of those stories can be considered mythology, but they would be the stories that I would use to describe this card to someone who was unfamiliar with it. And I am willing to bet that more people are familiar with those stories than the mythic tales from Ancient Greece and the Roman Empire about Zeus and Ares (Jupiter and Mars).

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Are the names of the Elemental Kings based on Hebrew?

Rose Cross sigil of Ghob.
One of the mysteries of the spiritual hierarchy and divine names that Golden Dawn uses is what the names of the Elemental Kings actually mean.

The source of the names for the Elemental Kings that Golden Dawn uses seems to be Eliphas Levi (or at least, that is the earliest source I have heard cited for them). It is just too bad that Levi did not reveal what the names actually mean.

[I have ran across references to a Buni text (?) and that Ninevah Shadrach claims that the names are actually those of Djin family names--having not seen those sources first hand, I am going to continue to ignore them at this time (if later, I read them in some form, and they make more sense than my theory, I will tell you).]

Awhile ago, I ran across a theory that the Elemental Kings names were actually Sanskrit (proto Indo-European). For me, this theory instantly stuck a cord of falseness. Levi has never stuck me as being knowledgeable about Sanskrit. Plus the theory seemed to be one that someone put a lot of work know the type of theory that so much work is put into it that you can see the creator of it tying themselves into knots trying to prove it.

Besides, it has been my experience that magicians (even armchair occultists and theorists like Levi [he was not a working magician despite his influence on the occultism]) tend to stuck closer to their home sources. So Latin and Hebrew would be better choices for the source language of the Elemental Kings names. Maybe Greek. (But not Enochian--Levi does not seem terribly aware of that language.)

Now, the Latin seems to be a no-go...but someone more knowledgeable than me will have to confirm its unlikelihood. Greek is, well, Greek to me (so ditto, but more so in the need of an expert other than me). And as to the Enochian, well I will leave that one to Aaron Leitch.

But I could do a preliminary search of Hebrew, so I did. Besides I really wanted to be able to have a set of Rose Cross sigils for the four Elemental Kings, and being able to spell their names in the Hebrew alphabet would be handy even if the names turned out not to be Hebrew.

Now, do the names actually have to mean something? Yes, if one goes by the bulk of evidence from the grimoires and other spiritual traditions, the names of spiritual entities always have a meaning--you do not find random strings of letters being tossed together to create names like those of characters in some bad science fiction story. True, you can find instances where names seem to be just random letters, but I know no instance of a truly random creation of a name--what we do find when we encounter goobly-gook names is actually encoding. For instance, look at the so-called 72 names of God; they appear to be random letters until you know the way that they were created--after which you have to admit that they are just the result of a magical programming code, so to speak.

So do the Elemental King names mean anything in Hebrew? Maybe. Maybe not.

The name of the Elemental King of Earth (Gnomes) is Ghob according to the official documents of the Golden Dawn. There is a possibility that the name comes from the Chaldean word, Gob, meaning "a pit." In Hebrew (a language that is both one of the oldest in the world, and one of the is a historical curiosity), we find Gov "a locust" and Gev "a waterhole/cistern". That gives us two possible spelling: Gimel Vav Beth and Gimel Beth.

Those of you who have already looked at the Rose Cross sigil at the top of this post will notice that while part of me went with Gimel Vav Beth, another part wanted to go with Gimel Vav Beth Heh instead.

Why Gimel Vav Beth Heh? Well, the word Gove means "collector of money/taxes" which (in my opinion) would actually be a sensible name for the Elemental King of Earth.

(For those unfamiliar with Hebrew, the letter Beth often ends up sounding like a V instead.)

Rose Cross sigil of Djin.
The next name to look at is Djin, the name of the Elemental King of Fire (Salamanders). Besides looking a lot like the Arabic word that became our modern word of Genie, Djin could also be Chaldean, Dayan "a judge." The Hebrew, being an offshoot (or is it kissing cousin) of Chaldean also has Dayan as a possibility, as well as Din "law/rule/judgment/justice." Plus there is a related word Dinur that means "of fire." So far, maybe Hebrew is the key to the meaning of the Elemental King names.

For this name, I went with the spelling of Daleth Yod Nun.

[As for the Arabic, Hebrew and Arabic are of the same language family a case for Hebrew is also a case for Arabic as a possible source for the names.]

Rose Cross sigil of Nichsa.
Now, Nichsa, the name of the Elemental King of Water (Undines)...or is it a Queen?...presents a spelling nightmare.

[Actually, I recently ran across a webpage arguing that Nichsa is a King's name and that there are also four Elemental Queens...that will be the subject of another post someday. For ease of blogging, I chose to treat all four names as King names, even though at least one branch of the modern Golden Dawn labels Nichsa as a Queen's name.]

Basically, eyeballing the word Nichsa in Latin (English) letters leaves us with twelve possibilities. Partially hits were Nun Kaph Shin, Nikesh "to weed," Nun Kaph Samech "property/asset/wealth," and Nun Cheth Shin, Naxash "snake/serpent."

But the best hit was Nixsa (Nun Kaph Samech Heh)--so close that Levi could choose to spell it Nichsa--which means "to be covered/concealed"; this gives us three names that Hebrew might be the source of.

Rose Cross sigil of Paralda.
But the theory seems to come apart with Paralda, the name of the Elemental King of Air (Sylphs).

There is no Paralda in any of the dozen Hebrew dictionaries that litter my coffee table. The best that I could come up with is Peri (Peh Resh Yod) meaning "fruit/offspring/progeny" or "reward"; Peh Resh Heh meaning "to bear/increase/to be fertile"; and Leda (Lamed Daleth Heh) meaning "birth." Combining the two parts, Paralda might mean "reward [of] birth" or maybe not. It is beyond my skill with the Hebrew language to be sure; nevertheless that is the meaning I am going to go with for now.

The spelling that I chose to use for the Rose Cross sigil is Peh Resh Lamed Daleth Heh. (An Heh on the end of a word is often said as an "A" like on the end of the name "Sandra."

So there you have it. Hebrew may or may not be the source language for the four Elemental King names that Levi gave to the Golden Dawn tradition. But I think that it is a stronger 75% than the Sanskrit theory (which also seems to fall apart with Paralda).

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

International Talk Like A Pirate Day

Pirate Kitty would like some rum cooked shrimp for his dinner.
Hi everyone! Today be September 19, and that means that it be International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

And let's be honest, everyone in Golden Dawn be a pirate. It be a long and noble tradition we have.

Don't believe me? Well, consider this.

Sometime before 1888, a mesterious man wrote down t' treaayes o' a secret lodge tradition in a document that we now call t' Cipher Manuscript. This was probably Kenneth MacKenzie. Some claim that this system was stolen from a previous system o' lodge initiation. Maybe even from Freemasons or t' evil SRIA. Therefore, MacKenzie be a pirate.

MacKenzie went t' Davy Jones' locker. Leavin' his widow with a pile o' papers that she did not want. Enter William Westcott, a man o' knowledge, and a conjuror of dead men ghosts.

Westcott convinces MacKenzie's bonnie lass that she should give him t' papers, because he belongs t' t' SRIA. T' Cipher Manuscript was not t' booty o' t' SRIA (accordin' t' some). Sad Widow gives up t' papers t' Westcott, a crime o' petty copyrites infrin'ement. Therefore, Westcott be a bigger pirate than MacKenzie.

Westcott then ropes a nice young man by t' name o' Samuel Mathers t' help recruit members t' work this awesome system o' spiritual advancement. Westcott also creates a set o' letters from a person who does not exist to shore up his claim t' t' treaaye. Mathers knows that t' letters be fake. Therefore, Mathers be a pirate.

Later, Mathers fights Westcott. T' prize? Complete control o' t' good Order o' t' Ancient Golden Dawn. Mathers does this by twirlin' a cutlas around while shoutin' that Westcott be a liar. Mathers sails t' France, gets involved in politics and bebuckos t' sinister Aleister Crowley. Mathers be even bigger pirate than Westcott.

Mathers t' keep his crew obeyin' his orders, then created a set o' invisible buckos who told him how wonderful he was, and how his students were t' pay him their last bit of gold. Mathers not only be big pirate, but a delusional creator o' tall tales and creepy ghost stories too.

Crowley a kind young man who fancied everythin' that moved includin' both your grandmother and grandfather, thought that this was bad behavior on t' part o' Mathers. So Crowley fought Mathers. T' prize? T' hearts and minds o' young men and beauties everywhere. And maybe their sex too. And their goats. Crowley shot at Mathers usin' a self-published set o' books, a new system o' attainment, and a boatful o' lawyers. Crowley also had invisible buckos, who told him that he was t' Messiah and t' best thin' since white bread. Crowley liked t' feed his followers t' demons and sharks. He also like t' be in t' newspapers very much. He reveled in his wickedness by writin' prose and poetry for young scallywags. Crowley be even bigger pirate than Mathers, and more drunk than a skunk to boot, but was very sexy.

In t' meantime, several other people started t' run businesses based on t' rituals and lessons o' t' Golden Dawn. Some o' them were con-beauties, and some were scurvy dogs. They all claimed t' gold o' t' seekers o' t' Golden Dawn. They were all pirates.

Then along came a nice Jewish lad by t' name o' Israel Regardie. He saw all t' pirates as dubious crew who should be made t' walk t' plank. He stole their rituals and lectures, hence robbin' them o' their hard-earned gold. He published as did t' wicked Crowley. This made many people upset with him. They claimed that he was a bigger pirate than they were.

Many students and seekers found t' writin's o' Crowley and Mathers and searched for t' treaaye o' Golden Dawn. Some o' them had lawyers and tame sharks and claimed t' be t' sole heirs o' Westcott, Mathers and Crowley. Others just dug a lot o' holes. Obviously, all o' these men and beauties were pirates also.

T' recap, six men sat on a dead man's chest and refused to share the loot. Six pirates, seven--counting you!

Pass the rum, and give another shrimp to the cat.

Happy International Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Monday, September 16, 2013

Book review: A Modern Celt--Seeking the Ancestors (Mabh Savage)

A caution must be issued right up front about this book: this is not a book of lore or ritual/personal techniques. If that is what you are after, this book will not fit your needs. A Modern Celt--Seeking the Ancestors (Mabh Savage) is a "fire-side chat" book; it is a rather informal collection of the author's experiences, tales from her family, and accounts from her friends about experiences gained by coming into contact with the lore and deities of the Ancient Celtic people.

For those people who have experienced the fire-side chat mode, that time after a ritual or lesson when you are sitting around a bonfire (or in the case of lodge members--during the after-ritual dinner) talking to your teacher and fellow students and seekers, the style of this book will be familiar. It is a rather informal book, one that my professors in college and university would have imploded upon reading. It is a step above gossip, generally on the level of the stories that one tells when one's coven (study group or lodge) has became a familial unit of sorts.

This style may be strange to those who have been practicing and studying by themselves, or who have gotten involved in the "strict lodge" setting where students are forced to hang out only with others of their particular grade and degree of knowledge. Hint: the fire-side chat mode is the start of the oral traditions that one hears about.

This book is not heavy on knowledge or techniques. It is a retelling of personal stories. And it will be a comfort for those who have experienced similar events, and educational for those with open minds who have not. I think that the book is worthwhile reading, despite the lack of spoon-fed lore and techniques; but I imagine that there will be readers who take issue with the book because of the lack of information and detail in it (one cannot say that I did not try to warn them off).

Is the information that is given accurate? This is a hard question to answer, at least for me; I am not an expert in Celtic paganism. But I do have a benchmark to attempt to hazard a guess, and that is how the author treats the Celtic Tree Calendar. For those who do not know, the Celtic Tree Calendar was created almost completely out of thin air by Robert Graves during the "paganism has survived underground, and my wild theories is what the ancient pagans actually thought" mode of the pagan revival (the Golden Dawn of the 1880s and the Wiccan books of Gerald Gardner are other examples of that particular stage of the pagan revival). Basically, there is no evidence to indicate that the Ancient Celts used such a fixed calendar, not alone the one that Robert Graves expounded upon.

There are three modes of dealing with the Celtic Calendar: 1) insisting on the truth of it...mainly because one loves the idea that paganism survived underground clear up to the start of the pagan revival; 2) completely abandoning it...because only actual Celtic practices should be used; and 3) splitting the difference...acknowledging the fact that Graves made the Celtic Tree Calendar up, yet using the result because it serves a purpose.

Mabh Savage belongs to the splitting the difference camp. She acknowledges the fictional nature of the Celtic Tree Calendar, and then proceeds to gather some actual tree and plant lore from the Ancient Celts to illustrate that Graves was not pulling it completely out of thin air and that there might be a grain of usefulness in the Celtic Tree Calendar. As someone who belongs to a group that does much the same with the Celtic Tree Calendar, I like that approach (the group that I belong to uses the Celtic Tree Calendar because it needed a Celtic knowledge system that could be represented in diagram is a lodge thing).

Overall, given the fact that book is meant to be, essentially a set of fire-side style stories about how modern Celts are interacting with the deities and practices of the Ancient Celts, I give it five out of five stars. (It would suffer a loss of at least one star if one decided to judge it based on lore or techniques--something that the book is not really about.)

[Disclosure: This review is based on a pre-publication version provided by the publisher.]

Sunday, September 15, 2013


Hmmm, do I like this background color?

Work in progress experiment 1

The Mythos Gang wants to be your friend.
This is an experiment to see if I could do something...something that I want to be able to do with my latest work in progress, and it is easier for me to see the actual results of the experiment if I post it to this particular blog. So feel free to ignore this post...unless you have a sudden urge to be interested in my latest work in progress: The Mythos Gang and the Circus of Horror (a fairy tale for the worshippers of the Old Ones).

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Great Book of Shadows Hunt 2013

The books work much better after sitting on a Secret Chief (aka my dear cat and familiar--the evil Barti).
*sound of howling bagpipes*

Hear ye! Hear ye!

Today, we announce the start of the Great Book of Shadows Hunt of 2013. Ye shall go forth and search your lodge's attic and the basement of your High Priestess and her freezer and all the other places that a Third Order member might hide something until thee finds the most secret book of magic--the grimoire and Book of Shadows that J.K. Rowling borrowed her material from.

The prize if you find it? All the powerful magics of the Harry Potter universe. Including the ability to create a flying broom. So go ye forth and find that book because I need to borrow a flying broom from someone by tomorrow.

*more delightful music from bagpipes*

What you are still sitting there?! You think that this is a joke?! It is not--no, this is the big news of the day--Harry Potter style magic is real!

Or so claims the grand-daughter of Bob Larson and her two super-friends.

Yes, the grand-daughter of Bob Larson and her two super-friends are headed to England to save the world from the evil of Harry Potter, which has caused an increase in number of people joining the ranks of Satanism.

Not only is all magic evil because it comes from the power of Satan despite what Potter and company would like you to believe, claims the most reliable of sources, eighteen year-old granddaughter of Bob Larson, Brynne Larson, but you can also learn Harry Potter style magic from a book kept by a real witch.

"The spells and things that you're reading in the Harry Potter books, those aren't just something that are made up," friend of Brynne Larson, eighteen year-old Tess Scherbenback, revealed in a shocking video that threatens the security of all the secretive Third Order and High Coven members. "Those are actual spells. Those are things that came from witchcraft books."

And we all know that we can trust this information, right? After all, the Larson clan would not lie to us to get us to shell out for their own personal brand of snake-oil, would they?

Monday, September 9, 2013

Ass-hattery outside of the Halls of Golden Dawn and Wicca

Yesterday, a friend of mine (as much as anyone can be friends merely though Facebook and blog posts) pointed out that Golden Dawn and Wicca does not have the market cornered on ass-hattery. She pointed out a survey being conducted by an individual (or perhaps it is a small group) trying to set up an international guild for Lenormand readers (a Lenormand deck consists of 36 cards with simple images on them) that reeked of troll sweat.

One of the questions on the survey was obviously created by a troll. Well, actually they probably were all created by a troll in the Lenormand community.

Yeah, questions like this makes me trust you.
The first two questions were simply about who should be on the board, and who the president of the guild should be.

It is at question number three that you are faced with the overwhelming smell of troll breath. Underneath the section I blacked out is a person's name; and if you do not know what you are supposed to think about their methods of reading the Lenormand, the troll misspells the word "nonsense." In other words, all the other methods are ok as long as you do not believe that this particular person is right.

Of course, I find question four to be something that one probably should not brag about. Because it does seem like they are bragging about how unfit to be around real human beings they are. And why is there no option for "zero" groups left in disgust or banned from? Some of us get along fine with other human beings...not being half-troll or completely trollish in our blood lines.

As for question five, seriously?! You want a pirate flag to be the symbol of your guild?!

Now, my reaction to all this was that some people feel that they can only become experts by destroying the credibility of all other experts. You know the type of behavior that we are all familiar with among the more dubious esoteric leaders.

My friend also clued me into the little fact that the probable creator of the poll (AH) broke off their friendship with the blacklisted Lenormand reader when the black-listed refused to join in on bad-mouthing other reader. Yes, the quickest way to upset the trolls is to refuse to play by the troll's rules about who is legit and who needs to be stoned to death. And a little search reveals that the troll in question has never said anything nice about anyone ever...or at least, that is the conclusion that I came to based on their YouTube comments--definitely someone who decided to become an expert by destroying the reputation of other experts.

So there you have it, ass-hattery is not something isolated to the flame wars of Golden Dawn and Wicca. It is also alive and well in a dark alley in the Lenormand community. Kinda sad, isn't it?

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Ten years of weather in three minutes

If you are interested in working weather magic, it helps if you have a sense of the natural weather patterns (because it is much easier to work inside the pattern than outside of it). It is also a nice to have this sense if you are Wiccan or occasionally attempt to divine the weather (because we all know that the weather on the news is wrong occasionally *wink*).

Hence my love for this video that the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) has made to celebrate the ten years of service (3788 days to be exact) of the GOES-12 satellite. The video is composed from 3641 full disk images of North and South America. It runs from the start of 2003 to August 2013 (GOES-12 was decommissioned on August 16th 2013).

For those who are curious, Katrina is at the :45 mark, and Sandy is at 2:50.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Happy birthday to me!

The perfect birthday cake for me. 
Yes, I am doing another post this year wishing myself a happy birthday. After all, last year's post was met with such happiness by the greater part of the Golden Dawn community. Of course, they especially liked my birthday humor video that I made--proof of this was presented in the form of someone complaining that I wasn't leaving their toys alone. Sorry, but the only person who has the right to complain about me making videos in the Golden Dawn community is Robert Zink, who is the first person that I know of that was making videos in the GD community (if I am wrong, feel free to point out who actually did it first with a link to the clip as proof)--and perhaps the GD writers that I claimed could make more money by writing erotica in another video segment (because occult writing is a real poor choice if you are trying to make money as a writer). Everyone else can take a piece of cat licked cake and sit in a corner muttering to themselves. And yes, annoying people is my favorite birthday present to give to myself (it is a family tradition).