Wednesday, December 30, 2015

My favorite charity

So much for that mouse. 
Tomorrow, December 31st is the biggest charity giving day of the year...because people are trying to get the tax credit. That amuses me because I deal with my favorite charity everyday of the week. Yes, my favorite charity is helping take care of the homeless cat population. And as a bonus, the cats take care of the mouse problem that my neighborhood has. It is a win/win.

Sunday, December 20, 2015

A Tarot Mnemonic

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Hi everyone! Welcome to another installment of that insanity that we call the Tarot Blog Hop.

(Yes, I said that. I have wrangled this thing, and it can drive any wrangler insane. And I am sticking to that opinion.)

Today's theme is Office Party. And at a Xmas office party, there is always someone who gives out a present that the only proper response is " really shouldn't have."

And I am that guy.

I thought about sharing my latest project....but that might actually not be a white elephant.

I really like how this looks. 
Then during a reading for a friend, I caught myself using the mnemonic titles that Golden Dawn uses for the thirty-six cards that are associated with the decans of the zodiac. And the thought went though my mind, that a mnemonic is exactly the type of thing that some people will go, "Oh, you really shouldn't have."

So here is my gift to you, a completely useless mnemonic for the thirty-six decan cards (keyed to the Rider-Waite-Smith tarot deck and Book T of the Golden Dawn system).

The thirty-six cards that are assigned to the decans. 
The titles of the decan cards from Book T.


Two rulers oversee the creation of dominions.
Three merchants await groundbreaking vessels.
Four celebrating dancers practice perfection.
Five day-traders chaotically compete to build.
Six Caesars parade in justified victory.
Seven outnumbered warriors bravely holdfast.
Eight meteorites swiftly communicate omens.
Nine prisoners survive backstage might.
Ten looters protest selfish oppression.


Two lovers unify in harmonious mirth.
Three maidens overflow with fortune.
Four yogis mediate on passive endings.
Five mourners stress over treachery.
Six children exchange vain pleasure.
Seven dream poison perception of success.
Eight travelers moan seeking of goals.
Nine bankers brag of sins and conceit.
Ten rainbows rain down lasting pleasure.


Two hostages sacrifice to restore peace.
Three hearts lament Loki's discord.
Four coffins shelter honored causalities.
Five vultures cowardly slander allies.
Six ferries cross troubled waters.
Seven thieves spy on exhausted combatants.
Eight prisoners impulsively hammer trifles.
Nine nightmares burden with cruel despair.
Ten murderers plot disruptive ruin.


Two jugglers foolishly gain and lose.
Three bureaucrats design impossible infrastructure.
Four misers covet their petty prejudices.
Five beggars suffer toil and trouble.
Six patrons distribute alms.
Seven gardeners slave over miserable barrenness.
Eight apprentices carve talismans cautiously.
Nine songbirds sing of sweet increase.
Ten siblings plot over ancestor's wealth.

So there you go, one white elephant Xmas present. Yes, I know--I really shouldn't have.

But hopefully, the rest of the tarot office party is not as bad. Why don't you check out some of the other blogs by clicking on the links below.

Previous blog/ Master List/ Next blog

Friday, December 18, 2015

Vote for your favorite occultists

Ever want to see your favorite occultist get an award?

Well, here is your chance.

Until December 23, 2015, you can email your choice for the following categories to

Among the catergories are:

Best work on demonology/necromancy
Best male occult author non-fiction
Best male occult author Fiction
Best female occult author non-fiction
Best female occult author fiction
Best anthology
Best overall occult book 1970-2015
Best occult podcast
Best occult course
Best occult research work
Lifetime occult contribution achievement award

And you can add other categories. I suggest that you add "Best occult blog" and then nominate this here blog.

Yeah, I know. There are a billion better occult blogs than mine. But you can't fault me for dreaming, can you?

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Why Morgan should not have a voice in Golden Dawn

Every once in awhile, I get told that I should not have a voice in Golden Dawn. Typically, this happens right after I state my honest opinion about something or someone, and someone starts screaming that my opinion does not count because...I am evil.

The latest incident was two weeks ago. Someone asked what a certain video had to do with Golden Dawn; and I quipped that it was posted by "the Golden Dawn Imperator," therefore it was automatically Golden Dawn.

Is the joke really that bad?

The response was odd. 

First off, the creator of the video always says, "Imperator of the Golden Dawn" in his video. This has always been a sore point for me because if you don't know better (and there are lots of people who don't), this makes it sound like he is in charge of the entire system. Trust me, if he was, I would have been expelled from the tradition years ago. 

I have always thought that the proper introduction for him should be "Imperator of XYZ branch of the Golden Dawn." But as you will see, I am not even allowed to have that opinion. 

My small joke was met with an accusation that I was trying to stir up trouble. 

Now, let's be clear about something---I am a blogger. And I am probably the closest thing that the Golden Dawn community has to a professional blogger. And I am also a hostile columnist for a newsletter. As a kid, I wanted to be a newspaper columnist; and in our brave new world of blogs and dying newspapers, it was only natural for me to become an angry blogger instead. 

So yes, there is always a tone of hostility to my voice. Most people just shrug and say, "That is Morgan being Morgan" and think nothing more of it. Not this person. 

I ignored the comment. I had made my little joke, and I went back to working on whatever I was doing that day. Hours later, I came back online to discover that someone actually thought that I was stirring up trouble. 

Except that it was not me. The moderator of the group that I made had deleted the accusation that I was trying to stir up trouble.

*drumroll* And the accuser came back and made the comment again. Again, I ignored it. And again, it was deleted. And then it was reposted. 

So I am not really sure that you can say that I was the one trying to stir up trouble considering that I could not be bothered to argue back. 

And then they made this comment. 

And you say this as if it is a bad thing. 
Yep, that is right. They think that I should have no voice in the Golden Dawn community because my lodge (and Order) has always been small, and because I support the idea that if you really want a lodge in your area that you should just find three other interested people and just do it. 

In the mind of this person, only those who have Orders with thousands and thousands of members should have a voice in Golden Dawn. 

Sorry, I am the sole voice for the small lodge system, and I am going to continue to support it openly. I do not care that it undermines your goal to have everyone who is interested in Golden Dawn joining your Order, so that you can be king of the hill. 

As for the vampire fiction comment, that is just too rich. There is a whole bunch of people that keep trying to prove that Bram Stoker was a member of Golden Dawn. Why is it ok for him to be a member and not me? Oh, right, he is a famous dead white guy, and I am just an angry blogger making jokes. He can't put forth his opinion that people are doing it wrong. I can. 

And to you, mighty protector and decider of who should have a voice in Golden Dawn, I say, "Stake you!"

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Custom made cone incense burners available

Custom made cone incense burner plate. $19 plus shipping and handling.

Designs available: pentacles, spirals, moons, stars, Egyptian hieroglyphs, runes, etc.

Triple moon incense holder
The triple moon is a Goddess symbol that represents the Maiden, Mother, and Crone as the waxing, full, and waning moon. It is also associated with feminine energy, mystery and psychic abilities.

Etsy listing for this item.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Should GD leaders be talking about politics

During the current election cycle, some of the "leaders" of the "Golden Dawn" have been posting about how they feel about various political positions.

Hell, I have done it myself....though it should be noted that no one actually considers me to be a leader, or even to be a member of the Golden Dawn in the first place.

Now most of this political quibbling has been restricted to the personal walls of people. Still this has upset some people. In my case, some people have caught onto the fact that I am a stinking dirty liberal hippy---a fact that I am surprised that they have not picked up on sooner---something that they do not understand at all.

But some of these political posts have been posted to the Golden Dawn groups ran by leaders of the Golden Dawn. And there has been some backlash.

Should this stuff be posted to GD FB groups? And should it be issued inside the Order themselves?

In my opinion--no. When I joined Golden Dawn (or rather a group that claimed to be Golden Dawn, but which would have absolutely nothing to do with most of the big name GD Orders), I was told that my oath of obligation would not have anything contrary to my civil, moral, or religious duties in it. I was not asked about what religion I belonged to (but I am sure they knew that I was a wicked Wiccan witch), what political party I belonged to (at the time, I was "Republican" thanks to family tradition, but really something else), nor was I asked any of my political positions (pro-choice, pro-immigration, pro-gun control, pro-pot).

Based on the loudest leaders in Golden Dawn today, at least the ones talking about politics, I realize that I should have never been allowed into the tradition in the first place.

Yes, I am saying that it seems that Golden Dawn is far right as you can get (anti-abortion, anti-welfare, anti-immigration, pro-gun, anti-drug) based on the loudest leaders talking about politics in the system.

I am quite sure that there is a petition somewhere to get me expelled from the system based purely on my politics.

But let's be honest, Golden Dawn has a long history of leaders being involved in politics. Yes, I am talking about Mathers, who would be far right in today's politics. Therefore, yes, GD leaders can be interested in politics. And obviously, based on Mathers' politics, GD should be far right in its politics. And Mathers knew, rightfully, that politics trumped the teaching of magic.

And given the fact that the tradition claims to be Rosicrucian, a tradition that is interested in the reformation of the world, yes, GD Orders probably do have to instruct their members in the correct political positions and goals to hold and promote.

Therefore the sad truth is that, yes, GD leaders have a right to stuff political positions down their membership's throats, kick them out of groups, and to expel them if they choose the wrong political party or religion. And it is all done in the name of reformation, Rosicrucianism, healing the world, seeking out the light, and the Summum Bonum.

Fortunately, for the greater Golden Dawn community, I am not recognized as being a member of the tradition, nor is my Second Order membership recognized, and no one ever listens to me---because given the fact that I believe (oh so wrongly) the RC would be middle of the road politically, or horrors of horrors, liberal, I might actually have to trot out my pro-choice, pro-immigration, pro-gun control, pro-pot positions and exhibit them publically to offset those who are coaching their membership to take far-right positions.

Of course, if I did that, one would be advised to vote with their feet and leave all the circles and groups that I frequent. After all, that is what the original membership of the GD tradition did when its leader decided that politics was more important than magic.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

How to tell if you are a secret gun control supporter

When considering the Second Amendment vs Gun Control question, ask yourself this---do you want Morgan to actually own a gun? Then proceed though your entire friend list, and then go though your entire family and everyone else you know, asking yourself do you trust these people with a gun.

If at the end of this process, you end up with at least one person that you would refuse to give a gun to because they are going to fly off the handle someday and cap somebody, then remember that you too support gun control whether you want to admit to it or not.

Gun control ideally is not about taking away everyone's guns; it is about keeping them out of the hands of people who are prone to go up in a clock tower and shooting random people because they are having a bad hair day.

Forbidden Liberal Porn

Here is some evil smut for you.
The Last American Taboo: Fucking God-Damned Liberal Hippie Gun Control.

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Is 100K actually needed to study Freemasonry?

Over the last few years, I have noticed an alarming trend in occultism: Some students believe that they should get everything for free---as in esoteric Orders, groups, teachers, and writers should not get a dime from the students. These are the same type of students who do not believe in doing daily exercises or memorizing the basic terms. I thought that I saw the worst of it a couple of months ago when someone suggested that magical Orders should pay their students to be members.

Well, I was wrong.

Last night during one of my moderator runs on Facebook, I ran across a pending post that made me realize that it could get so much worse.

Now for those who have not heard my rant: Running an esoteric Order (group) costs money---candles, rent, handouts, etc. all cost money. And writing a book and teaching takes a person away from activities that would result in a paycheck. And I feel that it is unfair for the students to get these services for free, placing the entire monetary burden on occult leaders, especially when occult leaders have to shell out money for things like groceries.

Plus there is also the little fact that I had to pay for lessons, books, materials, and membership dues, as well as pass my Grade exams--therefore, I do not see why the modern generation of students should get a free ride. Yes, I believe that modern occult students should suffer as much as I did coming up the ranks.

In other words, I am an asshole who does not realize that modern students are vastly superior in wisdom to me, and that I am blessed to be in the mere presence of such enlightened souls.

How much of an asshole am I?

Take for instance, last night's post.

Here is a lad advertising a GoFundMe campaign to help him collect the money neccessary to buy materials to study the Masonic symbols. He shared his ad with over twenty Facebook groups. And he is only asking for a mere 100K (one hundred thousand dollars).

Yes, I said 100K.

What the hell is he trying to study? Primary sources? Handwritten manuscripts? George Washington's wig? Maybe he thinks that he needs to own a lodge.

Or maybe, my inner asshole says, he is trying to get other people to pay him not to work and be a full time student of Freemasonry. And by full time, I mean he sits on the sofa reading internet posts and never once steps into a lodge.

For the life of me, I can't figure out why this person is so special that we should fund their esoteric career. And yes, I looked at what little they had public on their Facebook profile , and there is nothing to indicate that this person is the next Albert Pike. I am not even sure that he is a member of a Freemason lodge....and that would be the first step to understanding Freemasonry, or so I would think.

But if you think that I am wrong, feel free to donate funds to him.

Or better yet, start up a GoFundMe campaign to pay me 100K not to make fun of him. It can't be good for his studies that people like me are using him as fodder on a slow news day. Think of the number of special snowflake students you could save from the likes of me if you funded me cats all day long...go back and get my Masters in a completely useless degree (either history or literature)...go to Rome and annoy Nick out my wife in the art naked though a Broncos game...the possiblities are endless---hell, toss enough money at me (100K, come on people!), and I might even finish the artwork for the Tarot deck that I am working on. And if you like, I can claim to be studying Freemasonry while I am doing so. After all, if you give me 100K, I too can be a special snowflake.

Remember special snowflakes need you to fund them, so that they get all the esoteric wisdom and knowledge for free.  Don't listen to those asshole occult teachers who believe that money should flow to the teacher and not towards the student.


And he spammed this across 20+ FB groups last night.

100K to learn more about Freemasonry. 

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Guns have only one purpose

One of the standard arguments that pro-gun supporters make against the gun control crowd is that "[Gun control freaks] know nothing about guns. If [gun control freaks] knew how to shoot a gun, they would be pro-gun, and support open carry, and support assault weapons and high capacity magazines, because they would know that they would be able to protect themselves with a gun."

Ok...if you insist.

But here is the thing, I grew up around guns and was taught how to use them and I am a member of the gun control crowd. I also received a certain amount of military style training. With practice, I am quite sure that I could hit the broadside of a barn. Yet I turned into someone who would like to see the existing gun control laws actually enforced properly.

And I know exactly why.

I was taught that hunting rifles and shotguns have a purpose, primarily hunting tasty meat, but can be misused to KILL other human beings. And that all other guns (handguns, assault weapons) have a single purpose: To KILL other human beings. I was taught never to pull out a gun and point it at another person unless I intended to KILL them.

Yes, I was taught that if a gun is involved in a non-hunting situation, then someone is going to die. Period. End of story. Because guns outside of a wilderness situation only have one purpose--and that is to kill.

When you argue self-defense, you are arguing that you should be allowed to kill someone. When you argue that you need a gun to protect yourself from the government, you are arguing that you should be allowed to kill someone. When you argue that teachers should carry guns, you are arguing that they should be allowed to kill someone. And adding more guns to a situation just means that more people are going to die.

Please note this is why I am never surprised when a cop kills someone. In my mind, the instant a cop pulls a gun out, someone is going to die. Because a gun only has one purpose---to KILL. In fact, I am surprised that more people are not killed by cops.

And yes, by this same thought process (intended purpose determines lawfulness), I do not believe that we need to outlaw axes, cars, airplanes, fast food, etc. Because axes have a purpose other than killing. Cars have a purpose other than killing. Airplanes have a purpose other than killing. Fast food...well, I would like to think that Burger King is not trying to kill their customers.

But I would like to see laws enforced to make sure that people do not kill others using these other technologies. For instance, drunks should not be allowed to drive cars or other vehicles.

Of course, if you really want to argue that we need to outlaw everything that can kill---because you have a gun fetish---well, that is simple: outlaw humans. Because the number one cause of murder and terrorism just happens to be...humans.

So just remember that when you argue for your rights to have a gun, what I hear is that you believe that you have the right to kill other people, including me and my loved ones.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Pentacles for sale

As many of my readers know, my wife is a ceramic artist. One of the things that she has been making lately are ceramic pentacle disks. She currently has ten up on her Khari's Wiccan Treasures page, and there is another half dozen that I have yet to take photographs of. She sells them for $20 USD, plus postage and handling.

Check out her Khari's Wiccan Treasures Etsy shop. 

Cobalt blue with black underglaze pentacle.

Crazed copper with brown underglaze. 

Firebrick red ceramic pentacle.

Iron brown with black underglaze.

Key lime with dark green underglaze. 

Lavender with blue violet underglaze. 

Pansy purple with black underglaze. 

Pansy purple with purple underglaze. 

Sapphire blue with black underglaze. 

Stormy sea green with black underglaze.

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Gods of Egypt movie trailer

Here is the official digital movie trailer for Gods of Egypt....which is Golden Dawn news because of---gods of Egypt!!!

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Elohim Gibor is not peaceful (spells for Paris)

Consider your intent before you cast that spell.
Public Service Announcement: Today, I have seen a lot of solutions put forth about the tragedy in Paris. One included an a magical operation to protect Paris. This ritual included the use of the divine name Elohim Gibor. This name is not peaceful energy; it is martial energy. It is fine if you think that the answer is More Guns!!! or you fancy yourself an occult knight leading the forces of freedom. But it is not ok if you are aiming for peaceful solutions. Don't be fooled---Elohim Gibor is violence, and is like pouring gasoline on a fire. If you are after violence--fine--but I think that maybe you should consider using a different Power Word.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

High School teacher reads Tarot cards for her students

File this under "News stories that you do not want to see as an occultist." A teacher at Hidden Lake High School (Westminister Colorado) chose to cleanse her class of bad energy and read Tarot cards for her students. Two students received the Death card, and at least one Catholic student is transferring to another school. The teacher was taped on cell phone video. And please note that the student interviewed by Fox 31 News (Denver, CO) said that the Tarot was created by a Satanist. The teacher has been suspended while the school district investigates the incident. *sigh*


Friday, November 6, 2015

ROGD website shut down by trademark threat

On October 28, 2015, the Golden Dawn Order ROGD website was shut down by their ISP (internet service provider) upon the receivership of a notice from the lawyers of the AMORC (Ancient and Mystical Order Rosae Crucis).

The ISP was given a notice that the ROGD was engaged in "Trademark infringement, Unfair competition, and Deceptive trade practices concerning the ROSICRUCIAN ORDER phrase." Furthermore, the ISP was informed that no one has successfully stood up in court against AMORC. AMORC lawyers closed the notice with a note saying that the letter was written without prejudice (a funny sounding legal term) and that "[AMORC lawyers] look forward to your favorable replies by no later than November 15, 2015, including confirmation that you will no longer use or assist with the use on any website or otherwise of the phrase ROSICRUCIAN ORDER in or with any name or trademark."

Now, for those who do not know AMORC was a business for its founder; and at one time, advertised in all the major and most of the minor magazine markets. And I am positive that its current board is making a fair living from the Order.

(I have said it before and I will say it again--the use of trademarks makes an organization a business for the Head(s) of that organization, and is only used to make sure that an organization has the sole monopoly on a spiritual system. I only know of one instance, just one, where the taking out of and the defense of a trademark was not done for strictly business purposes. When trademarks come into play, spiritual organizations cease to be spiritual and become nothing more than money printing presses for the Head(s) of the trademarked Orders.)

When news of the ROGD website shutdown appeared on Facebook, AMORC members leaped to the defense of AMORC. Some AMORC members tried to get the notices taken down by arguing that the moderators and owners of various FB pages and groups were not doing their job and breaking the rules of FB groups. Some people reported the notices (FB and group moderators ignored the reports). And at least one AMORC member reported that a moderator under the "real name" policy (too bad for them that the moderator was actually using their real name).

Then when this kind of tactic failed, the AMORC members declared that this takedown had nothing to do with AMORC (in FB groups that are focused on Golden Dawn and general Rosicrucian studies) and that the notice had to be taken down on those grounds.

And when that failed to work, the mob declared that ROGD was actually guilty of deceptive spiritual practices because AMORC never takes other Rosicrucian Orders to court (funny, I know at least one such legal action has been taken, and the letter implies that such actions have indeed occurred). Furthermore, the defenders declared that AMORC is the one and only Rosicrucian Order in the world today....therefore, no one else is actually Roscicrucian.

All of which scores high on my "if it acts like a cult, it probably is" scale.

Just because you are a good person in an Order that claims to be spirtual, mystic, magical, or whatnot, that does not mean that the people at the top of the system are pure in spirit. And people pointing out the dubious behavior of the leadership of the organization you belong to is not an attack about you. But when you rush to the defense of such an Order, especially blindly, well, then we will point out that perhaps you are a little brainwashed. And what is the first sign of a cult?! Yeah, that's right---check your brain at the door.

The official announcement from the ROGD website.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Star Wars Weapons Prohibited!!!

So last month, I mentioned that the recent theater shootings left me a little skittish about attending the premiere of the new Star Wars film in December. Well, it turns out that I was not the only one that looked at the upcoming event as a possible target rich environment.

A number of theater chains, including AMC and Cinemark, have came out and said, "No weapons, no masks, no face paint." So that means no blasters (prop or real), no light-sabers (prop...or real), no Darth Vader masks (real...or prop). That is going to make it a....well, if I was going, I would say that it was going to make it a lame party. But I am confident that the hardcore fans will still have a wonderful time.

But most importantly, this means that those cowboys who believe that they should be allowed to open carry their guns everywhere are also going to have to leave their guns and thousands of rounds of ammo at home. Oh, the horror of it all---someone is going to get hurt without all these good guys with guns to protect people against those bad people who seriously injure people with popcorn.

Cue the outcry of "This is how the Sith win---by taking away the movie goer's right to pack heat--imagined or real!" and arguments that the theaters should allow in a dozen armed with AK-47 cowboys per showing to protect the fans.

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Tea and biscuits with Mouni Sadhu

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Hi and welcome to the October 31st Tarot Blog Hop. This time around, our fearless wrangler, Arwen Lynch Poe, wanted us to talk about someone dead that we admired or disliked that ties into cartomancy.

My choice of such a figure is Mouni Sadhu, a student of the French Tarot system that was based on the work of Levi. One of the first advanced books on magic and the Tarot that I brought was written by him. I actually learned a lot from his book on Tarot.

Of course, when I say that, often I have someone ask if I have gone out of my mind.

Now, I do understand why people say that. For one thing, Sadhu (Mieczyslaw Demetriusz Sudowski) used the Levi system of ordering the Tarot. Most of my friends use the English system of Tarot that was created inside of the Hermetic Golden Dawn. The difference between the two systems is in how the Major Arcana are ordered. Levi placed the Magician at the beginning of the Major Arcana while Golden Dawn places the Fool at the beginning. When this ordering is combined with the Hebrew alphabet, you end up with completely different cards being associated with the elements, planets and zodiac signs.

(Please note that I think that it is useful to compare the two systems. Also note that it is not until the 18th century that the Hebrew and the Tarot had anything to do with one another.)

For another thing, Sadhu has some odd little equations of magic scattered throughout his book. Here is one:

"Equation No. 214: Knowledge (2) [High Priestess {Luna}] together with a clear perception of the principle of regeneration (20) [Last Judgment {Saturn}] undoubtedly makes an adept, who has the wisdom of the Major Arcana, a true Rosicrucian, like those original brothers hundreds of years ago. But how hard it is to conquer in full the FIRST element (2), and how difficult it is to believe, with a pure heart, as does a child (a necessary condition), in the SECOND (20), and apparently how torturing and strenuous is the task of neutralizing BOTH in one's true life."

Some people who read that will pull more from it than others. It makes odd sort of sense to me, but I can see where others would consider it complete nonsense.

When our wrangler first mentioned this subject, I found myself wondering what his natal chart (astrology) looked like. At first I thought that I was going to have to haul out my "no information available, but damn'it I have Tarot cards" spread to generate a chart for him.

(Basically, I lay out cards and use their GD astrological associations as a key to fill out the chart. I use an equal house system; and if I draw a planet card, I use the sign of its rulership as the position of the astrological data point that I am drawing for. Not the world's best way to do it, but when you have a headful of astrology--you use it.)

But when I did the Google, I discovered a noon natal chart for him.

Mouni Sadhu---polish mystic and magician,
I am not sure that I completely agree with the resulting rising sign, so I might later pull a card anyways to get a different possibility for it.

(And yes, occasionally when I have all the other data, I will pull a card to represent the rising sign. What do you expect from someone who writes Sun Sign astrology? Actual science?! Actual astrological technique?!)

Of course, there is also the debate of "if the rising is actually Scorpio, do I use Death (English) or Temperance (French) card to represent it?"

Well, at least this type of stuff keeps me off of the streets and out of trouble.
For those times that you simply do not know the data to plug in.
Thank you for reading my ramblings. As always during a Tarot Blog Hop, I encourage you to continue along to the next blogger in the chain (or the last one if you like to go in the opposite direction), and if you have any difficulties doing so (breaks in the chain), hop over to the Master List.

Happy Samhain.

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Have I mentioned that I love the math of astrology lately?

Have I mentioned that I love the math of astrology lately? How about the math of astronomy?

I didn't think so.

I am currently trying to calculate some figures for a chart that I want to include in my article about the Four Royal Stars.

Or not.

If not, I still need the numbers for another chart that I might include.

A chart that will probably hit the cutting room floor and not even make it to being actually submitted to the editor because the chart(s) will violate the principle of writing on an eighth grade level or below for your average advanced audience.

(That is the rule I learned writing for a college newspaper--I shit you not.)

How big of a violation am I thinking of committing?

Well,  the base measurement I am working with is 5028.796195 arc seconds. That is a fucking real number that says something to...well, I am sure that someone might understand it...though it might only be me.

I completely understand why people generally use the ball-park rule of one degree per seventy-two years for precession of the sphere of the fixed stars.

But...I am a damn Virgo. Need I say more?

And have I mentioned that I really only write for myself? I probably don't need to mention that, right?

I hope that the editor remembers that. And that he really could care less if I make readers cry. I can always hope that he is desparate for pages. There is probably a real measurement of that too if I look hard enourgh.

Math Cat says that I should wait a century to see if the numbers are actually right. 

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Top Halloween costumes Denver 2015

According to Frightgeist, the top five Halloween costumes in Denver, Colorado for the 2015 season are:

#1 Star Wars

#2 Harley Quinn

#3 Witch

#4 Superhero

#5 Pirate

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Fourth Western Mystery Conference cancellation followup (fund for ticket refunds)

As most of you know, last month Jeffrey Lee Contreras (S.O.M.A.--Society of Magical Artists) was forced to cancel the Fourth Western Mystery Conference. In the aftermath, several people asked if I knew how they might help Contreras deal with the debts that the Conference created.

A donation page has been set up on the S.O.M.A. website. You can donate $10 or $25 dollars, or multiplies of those amounts. *Here is the link to the donation page.*

For those who are curious, the current debts still not covered are:

Ticket refunds--$2550 (I understand that Contreras sent off three refunds yesterday).

Plane ticket reimbursements for the speakers--$540 (it might only be $402, but I understand that depends upon the good graces of an airline, so I am listing the higher amount).

Venue cost ($2500 deposit---gone) $1077 still owed unless the venue rents out the space for that weekend (if the venue does rent out the space, the venue might lower this amount).

Jeffrey Lee Contreras is asking for donations to help him issue the ticket refunds. Contreras plans on covering the rest out of his own pocket.

(And I must admit that I admire the fact that he plans on hosting future events [smaller and more frequent and less expensive]. I am not sure that I would be willing to stop forward again so soon after a bad economic implosion like this.)

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Shooting up Star Wars

As an illustration of how bad I think the current gun happy society is in the United States, consider this:

I would love to go see Star Wars: The Force Awakens during its first screening.

But I don't want to be in such a target rich environment.

Yes, I am saying that the first screening of the movie will be a mass shooter's wet dream.

All eyes on the event? Yes. Fully packed theaters? Yes. Ability to deeply scar people? Yes. Over stretched security and theater staff? Yes.

Can you imagine a better event as far as a gun toting fame seeking murderous terrorist is concerned?

Friday, October 16, 2015

Custom-made pet urns

As most of my readers know, my wife is a ceramic artist (a potter) who does wheel thrown pottery. One of the items that she makes are pet cremation urns. She can make ceramic pet urns with paw prints for dogs, cats, and ferrets. She does have a size limitation (basically she can't make an urn for a godzilla sized dog). The most common customization request is for the pet's name to be on the urn.

If you are interested, you can check out her Etsy shop.

Handmade pet urn.
Ceramic pet urn.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Forty-three preventable gun deaths

Today, I heard that forty-three toddlers shot people last year. This is an outrage. We need to do what the NRA tells us is the ideal solution to this problems. Remember, only a good baby with a gun can stop a bad baby with a gun. We must arm all babies and we must do it now!

[Truth: At least, 43 toddlers shot someone with a gun this year. Typically, it is themselves. And all of these incidents get labeled as "accident." Read the article.]

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Featured book of the month

One of my favorite Open Full Moon rituals that I have performed on the behalf of Hearthstone Community Church (Denver, Colorado) is the Rite of the Magical Images of the Wiccan Wheel of the Year. The centerpiece of the ritual is a guided mediation focusing on the wheel of wheel with emphasis on eight images that I created to tap into the energies of the eight Wiccan holidays.

You can find the ebook on:


Apple (iTunes/iBooks)

Barnes & Noble


Oyster (I don't have an account with Oyster, so I can't provide an exact address--sorry)



Rite of the Magical Images of the Wiccan Wheel of the Year

Monday, October 12, 2015

My approach to public occultism

The subject on every occult blogger’s fingertips this week is the subject of public occultism. For those who have not seen any of these posts, last week the infamous Nick Farrell said that public occultism was a failed experiment, and that he didn’t remember the last time someone got past the third lesson in his magical Order’s correspondence course. And this lit a fire as various bloggers weighed in on the subject. I, myself, outlined a couple of posts, and then wandered off before writing them (it is not like the posts will spoil, so I can write them when I am good and ready to).

My viewpoint on public occultism is slightly different than a lot of people. I have been involved in public occultism for years and years. I do the Tarot Blog Hop; I am the public representative of a small group; I moderate and manage a few Facebook pages, including the Sanctuary of Mau (for Golden Dawn self-initiates); I post videos about the occult on Youtube; I am a board member of the Hearthstone Community Church which does open full moon rituals; I write a newsletter column and maintain this very public blog; plus I write small articles on magic and Wicca (checkout my Amazon page).

For me, public occultism is a way of life. I have spent a lot of time directing traffic, so to speak. I help people come into the community.

But please note I have always reserved the right to not be helpful, and even downright rude, if I think that I am dealing with a member of the religion of the month club (or the magic of the month club). In fact, I can be downright misleading; I have sent some utterly useless people in the direction of a certain group because I like to keep all my lunatics in a single basket.

I am not at the beck and call of the Woo Woo community. Heck, I am notorious for not answering the phone, emails, and instant messages even for people that I like. Online, I am not the nicest person. While I have never succeeded in getting someone to set themselves on fire, it is not for the lack of trying. I consider myself Karma’s IQ Test; if you are dumb enough to try to open up a box of corn flakes with a stick of dynamite, not only will I give you a match, I will also encourage you to shorten the fuse.

For me, public occultism is not in danger of dying out. There is a certain amount of churn in our community; and yes, we have a major dropout rate as well as some wanna-be leaders (typically people who have read one or no books on the subject, yet they think that they know more than those of us with decades of experience). My job is to help the serious and decent seekers in the direction of good groups, and the riffraff in a direction where their idiocy can be contained. It is not a pleasant job, but it does provide me with hours of amusement.  

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Not almost a year of GD peace

In Golden Dawn news today, David Griffin “defended” Nick Farrell from an evil Llewellyn author. Now, to put this in context for those people who don’t keep up with crap, last week (or was it two weeks) ago, Nick wrote a blog post declaring that public occultism is dead. What caused Nick to explode was that no one in the last couple of years has made it past the first three lessons of his magical Order’s correspondence course. Exactly what is in the first three lessons is beyond me; but I am willing to make a bet that it includes mediating for fifteen minutes a day—you know “really basic stuff.” And Nick’s post set off the fire alarms in the Golden Dawn community, particularly among the bloggers and Facebook commenters.

In other words, it was a slow news week.

How slow was it? Well, even I outlined a couple of responses; but then, I got bored and went back to working on my NaNoWriMo outline.

There was nothing new in anything that Nick had said; serious occult teachers have been disgusted by the quality of students for some time now. And we all know that Facebook and Twitter has not helped any at all, except to make students believe even more that they are somehow entitled to training and group memberships without all that nasty homework. There was nothing new in the responses to Nick’s rant (which is partly why I never got past the outline stage—though me trying to figure out how to get Harmic Barrows involved with the Corbin family also played a role). And the only reason that Griffin cared about the one response was that it was a slow news week and someone called him a fraud.

So now you are up to speed. And have probably slipped into a coma.

But I do want to mention something that Griffin said—he said that we had almost a year of peace in the Golden Dawn community.

Let that sink in for a minute or two. Almost a year of peace.

I am guessing that his part of the country does not observe daylight saving time because his calendar is a little fast. The GD Peace Initiative, which Griffin gives credit to Nick for causing to happen, started on February 6, 2015. I know this because I lost a bet on how long it would last; yes, I figured by now it would be a smoking crater. And we all know who I was betting would launch the nukes first. Just goes to show that even I can be surprised on occasion.

For those of you who somehow missed the online landmines of the last twenty years of Golden Dawn internet groups, the occult community was treated to a daily show of GD leaders slagging one another for twenty years. Though to be fair, it was two people and their meat minions, who basically used to call everyone else goat shaggers; and then claim that they were the ones being attacked when other people denied having sexual relations with tin can eaters. Those who were really important and vocal in their displeasure would be threatened by lawyers launched from catapults. It was a glorious time when GD leaders were real men, and lawyers flew through the air with the greatest of ease. Hell, there were some occult authors with one wall papered by rejection letters, and another plastered with cease and desist notices. Yes, it was a glorious time that we will never see again…unless of course, someone finds another free lawyer, and then all bets will be off.

But I digress, the important part is that in February 2015, peace was declared in the Golden Dawn community. And by this, I mean that once no one was being accused of having sex with goats and threaten with petty lawsuits, most of us just could not be bothered to talk about the “most important person in Golden Dawn, the famous GD Imperator” who really only talks for his Order and no one else’s. But the impeding rise of silence had to be heralded in by a savior because no one would notice if peace just happened.

It was a cold day in February (actually I have no idea what the weather was like that day, but I am telling this story dammit), and a lone horseman rode in. His name was Sheriff Andrew Martini, and he was packing heat. Actually, he wasn’t alone, but for the life of me; I can’t remember the name of the young lady who screamed “Why can’t we all get along?!” Anyways, Andrew stepped forward and said that he would oversee the peace.

In hindsight, I do find it ironic that someone who wanted to see Griffin doused in petrol and set on fire more than I ever did turned out to be a peace keeper. My definition of peace has been to write bad blog posts and not publish them, storing them as drafts, or as I like to call them, “my stockpile of nukes.” Actually the posts are fairly mostly completely boring, hence why I have never bothered to publish them. After all, once the Imperial Dalek quit threatening to blow the rest of us up, he became a boring monster in a rubber suit.

Now Nick Farrell got all the credit for the peace. And as far as I could tell, all he did was tell me not to advertise any more jokes about Griffin. Poor Andrew got no credit. And to add insult to injury (a stubbed toe), Griffin tossed Andrew out of his Facebook group in August (six months into the peace) after discovering that Andrew’s videos were venom filled rants about how unimportant the most important person in Golden Dawn really was. Today, Andrew is referred to as “anonymous” and even less likely to get a shout out from Griffin than I am.

So do you know what time it is boys and girls?

Yes, that is right; it is magical math time.

So counting on my fingers, I come to the whooping sum of eight months of peace. The peace started on February 6th, and today is October 8th. Eight months…which is not “almost a year.” It is two thirds of a year. Unless you live on Mercury, then it is like a century. It has taken me longer to write this post, and for you to come out of the coma after reading it, than the peace has lasted. Besides I have doubled down on my bet, and I am still waiting for the inevitable meltdown that a lack of attention will cause the most important person in Golden Dawn. I am quite sure that the owls are talking to him by now; after all, there is nothing like being important person in the world and having no one talk about you. 

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Trump will fire you (Yes, I said that)

Yes, I posted this status:

For those who support Trump: Yes, I understand that he sees solutions to problems that concern you, and that he is willing to do whatever it takes to fix the problems, including ignoring what the Constitution currently says. So what happens when he decides that you are part of the problem? Because sooner or later, Trump is going to decide that you are part of the problem. It is not a matter of if he decides that you are part of the problem; it is a matter of when. Are you willing to be taken to the border, fired, and tossed on the other side of the wall because you are not a productive enough member of society to remain an American? Personally, I do not want to be on his latest reality show: You are fired, America!

Friday, October 2, 2015

No homework for occult leaders

One of the hazards of becoming an occult student is the non-zero chance that you might join a bad occult group and/or end up following a bad occult teacher. Newer students of the occult traditions are often less cautious than they should be. They tend to only notice the flash and the bang without seeing the gutters and the harsh realities of the esoteric world. Part of the flash and bang that they gravitate to are occult teachers claiming large amounts of occult mastery. Often the only proof of the teacher’s mastery will be their claim of [such] a grade and degree from famous [Named] group, a proof that a gullible student will bite hook, line, and sinker on.

The logic goes as follows: The [Named] Order says that undergoing [such] initiation ritual after doing [such and such] work makes one [such] Grade and degree; the leader of [Named] Order claims to be [such] Grade and degree—therefore, the leader must have done [such and such] work and undergone [such] initiation ritual. 

The logic would be sound if all esoteric leaders actually had to be certified by something like a national certification board or by people who were advanced experts in the occult traditions. Unfortunately, many occult teachers are not certified; no, all they have to do is to claim such certification and have enough flash and bang, and they can attract enough attention and gullible students to make it worthwhile for them to continue the scam (whether the teacher is after ego stroking, money, sex, or simply control over other people).

The poor student of the esoteric traditions has to contend with teachers who have slept their way into Grades, teachers who have bullied their way into higher Grades, teachers who have provided a “valuable service” and was promoted without doing any actual Grade work, those who have summoned demons and then declared themselves Adepts, those who have crowbarred degrees from other groups into the Grades of other system (for instance, people claiming that the Master Mason degree from Freemasonry equals the Adept Minor Grade of Golden Dawn), those who claim that they made contact with Secret Chiefs and patron spirits, and those who are simply liars. At best, there are those occult teachers who know their stuff despite their slimy way of attaining their high degree and grade. At worst, the student is following someone who has not done any of the prerequisite work and has never undergone a single initiation ritual.

How does such a teacher run an occult group? Sometimes, all they need to do is keep up the act, and polish up some bullshit that they issue as lessons; this works just fine for those students who are merely searching for some comfort and confirmation. Other leaders, ones stuck with more serious students, put their most advanced students into positions of low authority to act as proctors and tutors to the lesser advanced students. In fact, this is the ideal for both the bad teacher and the less advanced students; the only ones that suffer in such a case are the more advanced students who find themselves in an awkward position---often the more advanced student will feel an obligations towards the lesser students, causing them to stuck around while having less time and energy for their own work; both of which helps make it less likely that the more advanced students will splinter off and create their own esoteric groups. 

My insensitive bad luck

So yesterday was a typical day for me.

I got up at noon. This is after staying up until five in the morning researching something stupid and/or boring. In other words, I went to bed at my normal time, and got up at my normal time. A few years ago, I used work the four pm to midnight shift, and I think that it permanently messed up my body clock.  

I went on the internet long enough to make the latest move in a game I was playing. It used to be Cafeworld; now it is Vikings Gone Wild. I looked at a few items in the newsfeed; one needs to check every few hours to see if there anything spectacularly stupid going on when you are an angry blogger like myself.

Now, every day around two, I have to make a decision. Do I try to be productive? Or do I remain on the internet reading Facebook all day? Lately, I have been being good and getting off of Facebook and being productive; or at least, I have been off of Facebook for most of the day.

Yesterday, I looked at my notes, and decided that I was going to write my little spree about guns and politics. After all, one of my goals for my little write-cation is to piss everyone off at least once this month---remember, this write-cation motto is “Morgan hates all of you!”

I did go with my wife to the library when she got home. But afterwards, I did go out in the studio, petted the outside monster, and got to writing. I cranked out eight hundred plus words. Some of the words are actually good in my less than humble opinion. After I was finished with the piece, which I had typed into my Neo, I sat out in the studio, keeping my wife company as she glazed a few jewelry pieces. Then I went into the house, ignored the internet, and transferred the piece I wrote into a Word document before editing, correcting some spelling, and copying and pasting the words into a blog post.

Now at this point, I could have been sensitive and checked to see if any mass shooting had happened during the day. But I didn’t. And instead of scheduling the blog post for midnight, I decided to hit publish instead. After all, what harm could it do?

It is only after hitting publish that I opened up the browser I use for keeping track of the news. And yes, my timing once again sucked.

Now for some reason, my luck seems to be insensitive to the feelings of other people. For instance, when I was doing the page view sites, I once wrote an article on the Tower card, posted it, and then turned on the news just in time to learn that an airplane crashed at the local airport. Another time, I accepted a new friend request on Facebook, and then promptly shared a meme of some dumbass dying from shooting off fireworks off his head, only to learn that my new Facebook friend actually knew the parents of the fore-mentioned dumbass.

I always feel guilt when these coincidences happen. I know that I am not in any way responsible for other people dying and getting seriously injured. I am guilty of reporting or sharing the news, but that is a bad professional decision on my part---not actual inherent evil on my part.

Unfortunately, yesterday’s post had every potential of being published on the wrong day. Why? Because at the moment, in this country known as the gun capital of the West, there is a mass shooting every day. Ok, maybe not every day, but damn close.

So far this year, we had only eight consecutive days without a mass shooting. In the space of the 274 days so far this year, we had only 294 mass shootings—a mass shooting being defined as an incident where four or more people are shot in the same incident. Ok, at this point, the FBI and NRA would like to point out that the official USA definition of a mass shooting is when three or more people are killed in the same gun incident; therefore I am using the wrong number because it is not gun violence if you survive the attack. The NRA would also like you to know that it does not matter that in a mass shooting that a person dies every fifteen seconds on average. It also does not matter that we have had fifteen mass shootings that the President of the United States has addressed during his tenure in office. And the NRA also says that the 380 deaths in "not-really" mass shootings this year so far, and the 10,000 people killed and 20,000 people injured in the 40,000 gun violence incidents so far this year do not matter.

The only thing that matters is that the members of the NRA are constitutionally allowed to have all the guns and ammunition that they can load in their SUVs---none of the violence matters---only your right to have a gun matters.

Oh, and the fact that assholes like me are insensitive to the NRA’s feelings when people like me point out exactly how much gun violence there actually is. For that crime, the NRA would like to take me outside and shoot me in the head---unfortunately, the Constitution does not promise them that right. But don’t worry the politicians who accept the NRA’s political donations will make it happen in the next decade. And then none of us will have to worry that I might accidentally post something insensitive about gun control on the same day as a mass shooting.  

Mass shootings so far this year.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Battle flag wrapped guns

One of the beautiful things about Facebook is that it collects all the stupid in one place. This, in itself, is a good reason for the government to monitor Facebook. And yes, I do believe that governmental agencies are monitoring Facebook and social media; the difference between me and your average wingnut is that I frankly don’t give a damn.

Or to put it another way, “What is the worst thing that the government could learn about me?” That I have too many cats? Or that I am worried about paying off my student loans? Or that the only thing that I did with my university degree is dissect science fiction shows? Or that I belong to a so-called secret society? As long as I don’t cook meth in my kitchen while buggering a close relative, the government will think that I am too boring to bother with.

The wingnuts on the other hand worry about the government so much that they have to be doing something dubious in their kitchens. Just the other day, one of the Presidential candidates stated that the American people could get conned and elect the next Adolf Hitler to the office of President. This is the same candidate who believes that if a Muslim is ever elected to the office of President, they will place Islamic religious law above the Constitution. Unfortunately, I look at Ben Carson and the fourteen remaining Republican Presidential candidates (oh god, we still have a year more of this circus), and I see people who are telling voters that they will honor their Christian religious beliefs—even if the Constitution says otherwise.

The worry that the wrong type of person will get elected is a constant fear. More voters believe that President Obama is a Muslim, who is coming to take their guns, than voters who believe that he is a citizen of this country and a student of Constitutional law.

One of the rallying points of the wingnuts, many draping themselves with the Confederate battle flag, is that nothing must be done to constrain their ability to buy military grade weapons and enough ammunition to wipe out the Ivy League colleges. And if they had their way, all colleges and universities would disappear—after all, intellectuals don’t know a damn thing about anything. In fact, some of us college educated people think that reducing the number of guns will lead to a decrease of gun related violence. 

One thing that the wingnuts point out is that taking away guns will not decrease the number of overall violent incidents. Once no one has guns, we will all just buy hammers, swords, and poison, and continue to gleefully eliminate those people we feel are too stupid to live. And they are right, violence won’t disappear, we will just have to go back to bashing people’s heads in with rocks.
Because of us non-gun owners being so violent, gun owners have to keep their guns. They are not actually concerned about other gun owners because they all think that they are the quickest most accurate shooter this side of Mars. No, it is only those of us who will sneak up behind a rock that you have to worry about because no one has ever outlawed rocks in human history.

Besides us violent pacifists and intellectuals, the gun owners know that they have to arm themselves against the government. If they give up their guns, the military and police will swoop in and end their way of life of meth cooking and cousin buggering. And the government will violate the Constitution the very instant there are no more guns—it is a historical fact foretold in the Bible. In fact, it is about time that Republican Jesus comes back and leads the sensible people in breaking away from the corrupt government of the United States.

There is only one problem that I see with this battle flag wrapped philosophy---the secessionists have already lost a war with the federal government and its military. A century and a half ago, a large section of the Republic split off for the noble cause of preserving their way of life (also known as the one percent having all the wealth while other people, including the whites living in trailer parks, slave away to increase the worth of the one percent).

And yes, I believe that a modern armed secession would fail miserably. The prideful secessionists should not be worried about the military taking away their constitutional guaranteed guns; they should be worried that it is not constitutional for them to buy and own rocket launchers and nuclear weapons. I don’t care if you have three dozen guns per militant and enough ammo to go back in time and hunt the dinosaurs into extinction; one badly aimed nuclear weapon will turn your secession movement into a radioactive pit. Heck, if both sides gave up their guns, a nuke would still tip the balance towards the ever loving corrupt government who insist that it is wrong to cook meth in your kitchen while buggering your cousin. Or they could use a really big rock. 

Food equals love

My wife proved that she loved me the other day. She brought me a bag of wasabi flavored almonds. By itself, it doesn't not sound like proof of her undying love for me, but it is.

She will not eat these almonds. To me, this is a sign of love. Then again, I do have food issues.

The blame for all of my food issues can be placed firmly on my childhood. I am the oldest of eight kids. You know what you call a group of eight kids? Locust. We were like a Biblical plague if you were crazy enough to let us loose in a room with an unlocked fridge and well-stocked cupboards. The problem was that we were always straving.

Don't get me wrong---my parents did their best to keep us clothed and fed. My father often worked too jobs while Mom stayed home to watch us. Well, my father worked while my mom made me stay home and watch my siblings. Except when my dad would drag me off to work to learn a trade.

The happiest trade that he dragged me off to learn was how to sell and deliver produce. I was rail thin from the lack of food. At home, sneaking a banana was a capital crime. At the produce warehouse, it was spoilage. Plus every cook and chef along the delivery route would feed me. To this day, I willing eat any food offered to me by the staff of a kitchen. My decision to be a journalist and novelist merely re-enforced my tendency to gravitate towards unguarded food. If I am ever assassinated, it will be with a plate of Swedish Meatballs.

It was on the produce route that I learned an important lesson---if you want to survive, be willing to eat stuff that other people will not touch. At home, I was expected to be polite, and allow my siblings to eat. Nearly always I would be forced to have a smaller portion than I would like. It wasn't that my mom was a wonderful cook---an one armed monkey without taste buds can whip up a better dish than my mom--it was simply that there was never enough food.

Occasionally, some politician will state that the government should quit funding reduced and free school lunch and breakfast programs. Or they will insist that only drug abusers are on welfare and government aid programs. I imagine that they also believe that I should not be stuffing their poppets with stale peanuts and throwing them out to the squirrels. It is seriously doubtful that we will ever see eye to eye on those important issues, but I won't vote for them as long as they don't vote for me either.

It is not just politicians that I hate. My oldest sister knows that I don't like her. Not one damn bit. Her proof of this is that I like licorice. At a certain point, I realized that when given a chance to pick the candy, none of my siblings would eat licorice. Initially, I thought it tasted nasty, but I got all of it. It is amazing how bad food is so much better than no food at all. Today, I actually like licorice---it is an acquired taste, just like eating strange animals.

There are times that I wonder if my working in restaurants for twenty years was related to the lack of food I experienced as a kid. Or the fact that I was willing to take over all the cooking a couple of years ago. After all, such decisions are never affected by the lack of a high school diploma, or the fact that you can taste how much my wife likes to cook. If you want to make sure you get enough to eat, control the food that comes out of the kitchen.

My wife also has food issues. Colorful food, fresh food, food with flavor---she will not touch any of them. She will eat canned green beans, but not fresh ones. Beets, squash, salad---all off the list. To top off the list of things she will not touch, add an item that she can't touch--wheat. After several years, I am still trying to figure out how to cook gluten free.

One of the signs that I love her is that I actually try to cook around her dietary needs. And that I am willing to let her have seconds, or the leftovers if she needs them for lunch. My childhood programming says that she is more important than I am, therefore she gets first dubs on the food.

So her buying me a bag of food that she will not touch, that is all mine, that is pure love.