Poor magicians

One of the reasons that I am welcome as a plague in certain circles is the simple fact that I became a magician to keep the wolf away from the door. I am not in the esoteric arts for spiritual development or to be a service to mankind; I am here merely because I was looking for a big enough stick to smack the wolf on the nose and survive the crisis of being a poor kid and young adult.

Now, there are some that will roll their eyes, and ask how poor could I have been when I entered the field. Let's see, my father lost everything that he owned; I am the oldest of eight kids; and I grew up constantly wondering if I would have a roof over my head tomorrow. Plus, where my next meal was coming from was always a concern. I wore whatever could be brought at yard sales for a quarter. When I left home, I joined the military...because I was poor. I was a high school dropout that got bad grades because my folks could not afford a real babysitter. And I worked twenty years in food service making minimum (or just above) wages.

And if you still don't believe that I know what it is like to be poor, just remember that I have done Tarot readings and practical spells for the payment of government surplus cheese and peanut butter--because all I had to offer was my skill as a magician, and all my clients had to offer was some food (which I was very glad to eat).

Just admitting this stuff bars me from entry to certain select circles. Part of it is simply misunderstandings of what magic is. [If you want to know why I started to think about these matters today, go read this entry on Aaron's blog.]

Talk to most people in the Golden Dawn/Western Mystery Tradition community (and this includes Thelema and Wicca) and you will hear that the purpose of the mysteries is spiritual development and service to mankind. In fact, there are groups that will bar you from entering if you say anything other than those two reasons for wanting to join. Anything else, especially practical magic, is viewed as black magic and power seeking.

But this is what the documented record of Western magic is all about--weather magic, power magic, legal magic, treasure magic, health magic, love magic--all about fulfilling basic needs in a hostile wolf at the door world. Even alchemy was about the practical nine times out of ten. Yet we in the modern world are not allowed to have these needs or desires.

Why? Because H. P. Blavatsky tells us that it is wrong. Yes, the modern view that the only acceptable uses of magic are spiritual development and service to mankind comes straight out of the writings of Blavatsky, the mother of Theosophy. And the modern Orders have embraced this fact, rejecting anyone who admits that they actually need to practice practical magic. Blavatsky made the esoteric Orders into the mystic dreamlands they are today. You can mediate all you want on the glories of the divine, just don't attempt to better your life conditions with practical workings.

Therefore, we do not find truly poor magicians in the ranks of the Orders (unless they lied to get in). The members of a Law of Attraction group are always living above the poverty level. The members of your typical esoteric Order can always pay their annual dues, no matter how much they are. And people can charge hundreds of dollars to do workshops, to teach magic that does not actually work, because everyone who attends can afford for magic not to work. It is all theory and no practice because anything other than spiritual development and service is considered black magic.

In the meantime, people like myself tend to remain outside the Halls of the "True Mysteries" working our small low practical spells, hoping to keep the wolf from the door for one more day. We are simply too poor to be worthy of proper training. And Heaven forbid that we ever decide to retake the mysteries back; after all, we are the unwashed, unsaved, impure masses.

I teach GD over coffee

One of the things that I occasionally have to remind myself is that I am not typical of the majority of the Golden Dawn community. The way that I was initially taught affects the way that I teach; it also affects the way I think about the system. For instance, outside of a few isolated bits, such as what ended up in Kraig's book, most of my initial Golden Dawn training happened in working lodge...or over coffee.

It is the "over coffee" part that you want to play attention to. Because I was taught in informal conversations, I tend to do my best teaching during informal conversations. A lot of people think that I am joking when I announce that I am willing to try to explain what Golden Dawn does over coffee, but it is actually true. Outside of the lodge work, more of my training happened during informal, friendly conversation than it did from books and secret documents and the official lecture hour.

And when I teach...I mean truly teach...it is in the same envirnoment. You are either working or having coffee...lecture days tend to not be very educational.

I have been being reminded of this lately. One of the Sorors from my lodge recently have been dealing with me in "coffee" mode. Over the past month, she has gotten more information out of me in informal conversations than she has in formal lodge lectures (outside of actual work sessions...which is ritual work and not lectures). By the way, this is always true for me. If you want information from me, lodge is necessary; but you really want to make time to "socialize" with me, if you want me to really explain what is going on.

I just don't function properly in a strict envirnoment where you only deal with your superior during lecture hour.

(The odd thing is that if you can get me to write about the system, you also get more out of me than during a spoken lecture...I am not sure why.)

{By the way, this is one of the reasons why I could care less about the HOGD/A&O claims. Strict secrecy implies that you NEVER about talk Golden Dawn over coffee or deal with your superiors and lessers outside of a strict controlled envirnoment. Because of that, it would be pointless for me to join that system...no matter how true their claims are or what secret information that they actually have.}

Ignorance or meddling

Over the last couple of days, I have noticed an upswing in amount of attention paid to the problem with groups being ignorant of the basics. Now, there is always a certain amount of concern surrounding this issue---it is one of those issues that is always present---the waxing and waning of attention paid to it is cyclic.

There are three things related to this I would like to address.

Concerning the Golden Dawn Knowledge Lectures: Someone pointed out that the Golden Dawn Knowledge Lectures seemed to be rather sparse. They are. The commentor felt that they should be more fully explained and just a list to memorize. They are right.

One of the problems with the Knowledge Lectures as we have them is that they are merely the list of what you need to know to pass the most basic test for advancement. What is missing is the oral (or written) lectures that the lodge member should be exposed to. It is things like this that contribute to people having a high Grade and having no idea what they are talking about.

Concerning how much concern we should have when we realize a group is being ran by someone ignorant: One of my friends on Facebook pointed out that many Wiccan and pagan circles are being ran by people ignorant of the basics---a problem that never *wink* occurs in Golden Dawn *chokes a little* Orders. A group being ran by someone ignorant of the basics does not alarm me as much as the unwillingness to admit ignorance.

I know a lot of people do not trust me because I use the following sentences: "This is my answer based on my current knowledge and understanding" and "I reserve the right to change my mind, and the answer I am giving, based on further thought and experience." The people who associate distrust with these sentences are looking for the ONE and ONLY CORRECT ANSWER---something that I have serious doubts actually exist.

I realize that our myths state that only Masters should be in charge and apprentices should be just students, but the truth is that Masters are still just students with added responsibilities.

Concerning the rewriting of Golden Dawn rituals: Yes, I am guilty of rewriting sections of the Golden Dawn rituals. I consider all the versions that we have to be just "working drafts." It is one of reasons that I shrug my shoulders whenever someone publishes a version of the rituals--I figure that any set of rituals that have been used for more than a decade is probably in need of a tune-up.

For instance, I added an unauthorized "third part" to the Zelator ritual to address the fact that the a section of the Golden Dawn community was now starting the study of geomancy in Zelator. And what I learned was that this third section had more oomph and flow than the official parts of the ritual did. This in turn is going to lead to a reworking of the rest of the Zelator ritual.

This will lead people to pointing out that I am meddling in things that I do not fully understand---that only an Adept Extemptus...or a Magister Templi...or an Ipsissimus has the knowledge and authority to change the scripts of the rituals. My answer to this is that I don't care that I am not of the proper Grade according to your understanding of the system...and that I am not even sure that we are working in the same system to begin with. I belong to a system that changes with the time and the experience of those involved in it---what was true a hundred years ago, two hundred years ago, etc. is not exactly suitable for the modern student who is living in a different time and place than our ancestors did. If you think that the dawn of consciousness was the Golden Age, you need to move back into the caves with the bears.

Occult blinds v occult mistakes

Last night, I was working with *something* and I found myself in the position where I started to debate whether it was an occult blind or simply an occult mistake. Nowadays, the joke is that if you make a mistake duiring the course of writing about the occult, you call it a "blind." This is a modern thing; in the old days, it was different.

In the old days, there was a fine game of concealing important information from the readers of occult books. In theory, you were supposed to learn the basics of the esoteric sciences from a teacher---in other words, you were supposed to serve an apprenticeship. And one of the things, you were supposed to learn was how to spot an blind and how to create one.

Words of warning---under no circumstance are you to believe that I am a member of certain lineages that still practice this style. My lineage (for what it is worth) has NO connection with theirs. The only things we share in common is that masters teach lesser skilled students---nothing more.

For those of you who have never experienced an apprenticeship, it involves washing a lot of glasses, grinding a lot of stuff, harvesting thistles, and generally any other grunt work that your master really does not want to bothered with. It is like being the low man on a construction site and being the go-fer. It also involves a lot of practical and intellectual jokes; it is a great way to become paranoid.

It is in the practical and intellectual jokes that the learning about the occult blinds happen. Think of being an apprentice as being a lab animal of a mad scientist. Or at least, that is the way that my apprenticeship felt. Maybe there are nicer masters out there---if so, I have not encountered them.

Of course, we do not deal with this system today. (I am not sure how I ended up in the system myself; except that was the way they were taught, therefore I was taught the same way. The modern methods of teaching obviously skipped over my masters.)

One of my teachers would allow me to work the rituals exactly how they were written, hence I got to experience first-hand the problems that blinds created. Only later, after many questions about what I thought was wrong, would they explain to me the little secrets that you needed to work the system properly. As I said, it was like being a lab animal to a mad scientist.

I may or may not have picked up this style of teaching---we will see when it comes time for me to teach my god-daughter.

When the secret societies picked up the ball, and the masters were faded out, in theory the secret societies replaced the master-apprentice relationship with a kinder proctor-student relationship. Not necessarily so, as my encounters with Advanced Adept Advisors has indicated.

Unfortunately, one of the problems with the secret societies is the fact that many of the officers can not hex their way out of a wet paper bag, and cannot spot an occult blind if you lit it up with flashing neon lights. And many of them can make it sound like they are experts in their fields, despite the fact that I would not trust them to guess my weight.

Warning---questioning the abilities of the officers of esoteric societies is part of the tactics of the Witch and Golden Dawn Flame Wars. Obviously, I am a bad person who should not be at the head of an esoteric Order.

The reason that many esoteric officers cannot spot an occult blind is that they were sworn to absolute secrecy and are given completely clean and truthful documents. It handicaps them when they encounter materials written in the heyday of blind creation.

Yes, the *something* I was working on last night was the work of someone I know is an officer in one of the esoteric societies. The *something* is a correction of an older text. So is the problem I spotted a blind? or is it a mistake? and does it really matter?

I am not sure about the first two, but I do know the answer to the last one. It does not matter to me. I am going to have to fix it, whether it is blind or mistake, if I intend to use the material. Whether the expert spotted the world of hurt that their version, and the previous versions, would create is unknown to me. I would like to think that if someone spots a really bad blind, and this one will create the exact opposite of what the material is labeled for, that a footnote about possible blinds would be in order.

Of course, that is just my opinion. And you can't trust my opinion. After all, I belong to some bad lineages, been trained by people without authority, and generally hold some opinions that worry those who are superior to me. And I am not above giving a stick of dynamite to someone trying to open a box of corn flakes. I guess it goes without saying that all my writings should be considered blinded.