Bully time (31-HP Day 18)

[This poem was inspired by something I read by Wil Wheaton. Warning: Triggers--abuse and bullying--or maybe it is just me...because I am writing about my own bully.]

Your eyes lit up
First time you saw me
Short, thin, talking funny
A perfect target for abuse

I disliked you
I hated you
I loathed you
You were the perfect bully

I knew not your pain
I knew not your past
No clue about your home
How could I?
No friend, you were

New in town, I was
Unhappy at home
Miserable in school
With you as the cherry on top

Name calling
Mocking my voice and strangeness
Shower room pranks
You were the perfect bully

You remember this fondly
As you think I should too
Not with rage
And anger bubbling
Venom in my veins

Wish you harm, I do
Wish you restraint
And unhappiness
When I remember the past

Yet I must thank you
Others have tried
To control and bully me
To bend me to their will

But they are not you
And I have grown
Confident in my abilities
To endure abuse and threats
For I learned this at your hands

[Needless to say, bullying is wrong, even if it made me stronger.]

Kitty being stalked by monster (31 Days of Halloween Kitties Day 17 Year 3)

Hide, the monster is coming to get you.

Here is a picture that tells a story. Poor kitty hiding from a monster, obviously one of the qlippoth, while its master does nothing to help (seriously, put down the camera and save your cat!). Of course, this is the way my cats used to react to my god-daughter when she used to visit--one of the nicknames for my god-daughter was monster.

(In all fairness, I should probably refer to her as my ex-god-daughter...long story, mostly boring, all you need to know is that I am completely and wholly at fault--which is also the reason that I am now a former elected GD officer, who will never serve in an elected office ever again.)

For more cats dressed up in costumes (monster costumes, that is), check out this post by the Bloggess (her poor kitty).

Results not typical (31-HP Day 17)

A full head of hair
In just seven days
Be at your ideal weight
In just ten days

Never suffer road rage
Ever again
Be a sexual magnet
With just one pill

We have what you need
For a small princely sum
Ointments, tonics, pills,
Creams and treatments

It is a modern day miracle
The latest advance in science
Endorsed by doctors
Celebrities and athletes alike

As seen on TV
Magazines and the internet
Would commercials lie to you?
Trust us, we're honest

Never mind the constant
Peeing and falling off
Of your favorite body parts
And the rare sudden blindness

It is what you want
Your greatest desire
Never mind the expense
And unseemly  side-effects

Step right up and buy it now
Hand us your coin
And take your snake-oil
Ignoring the fine print

Results not typical
Paid celebrity endorsement
Side-effects may kill you
No FDA approval

The ferals I have watched over (31 Days of Halloween Kitties Day 16 Year 3)

It is National Feral Cat Day.

Today is National Feral Cat Day...or as I like to point out to people, just another day in the life of a colony caretaker.

I did not wake up one morning and say, "Gee, I want a bunch of cats to be both happy to see me and fearful of my presence at the same time." But that is what happened when my wife and I brought our house.

Now, I was technically a rescuer before that point. I had taken in Talisman (Little Miss Dynamite) along with her brother Lucifer (Morning Star) a few years before. Lucifer was a rough cat; his previous owner was a biker who used to wrestle with him as if he was a big dog. There were several occasions that Lucifer clawed me across the face, and a lot of people thought he should be put to sleep due to his violent reactions to simple play. I exercised a lot of patience and retraining techniques--over the years I had him, he mellowed out. Talisman would have been abandoned if I would not have agreed to take her along with her brother...turns out that she was pregnant, so that would have been...well, a lot more feral cats if I had not stepped in.

The colony my wife and I inherited consisted of a male and female cat, and periodic litter of kittens. Sandy and Blackie never completely trusted me. Blackie ended up being put to sleep because he was diseased. But Sandy lived for several years on our property after we got her fixed, along with one of her daughters. Sandy eventually died of injuries (she would not let anyone get close enough to take her to the vet), and her daughter was displaced by a shift in the leadership of the colony (Sandy was the original top cat in it).

Four of the indoor cats that I own are kittens from feral mothers (two from Sandy, two from another feral mother who just showed up one day). Both Devil Kitty, the first that we rescued from the colony (or rather my wife rescued her), and three legged Princess Kitty are daughters from Sandy. And three years ago, we added to more cats to the pride from another feral mother (who just showed up one day with kittens in tow).

So for me, every day I live with the results of people just abandoning unfixed cats and letting them fend for themselves. Every day is Feral Cat Day in my universe.

Pirate Kitty is the son of a feral cat.

My sweet voice (31-HP Day 16)

Deep in my brain
The earworms squirm
A never ending loop
I must let the lyrics out
"Please don't."

My voice rough
At first wobble
But it soon warms up
I sing, I sing
"Shut up! Just shut up!"

Angels cry
When I sing
My beautiful voice
Ringing though the cosmos
"You are killing angels."

Dogs join in
A chorus of kindred spirits
United in harmony
Singing across the land
"You are scaring the cats."

My voice so sweet
Maybe I should audition
Become a big star
Make big bucks
"I love you--please shut up!"

Sing I do
*Whack! Whack! Whack!*
Hey, I was singing--
"Exactly." *Whack!*
Ok, ok, I will shut up

Psycho Cats (31 Days of Halloween Kitties Day 15 Year 3)

Next time on Ghost Hunters...uh, this looks like a crime about to happen.

There is this internet rumor...which also occasionally appears in print also...that cats are psycho and might be plotting to kill you and all your loved one. Now, let's look at the photographic evidence. First picture might be a ghost kitty...or maybe a psycho cat.

Psycho Cat gets eight sequels.

Moving on to our second piece of evidence...this looks like hearsay. Surely, kitty did not go all psycho on doggy and say that death would not stop them.

Someday the cat will succeed in killing someone.

Our third and final piece of evidence today--ok, yes, it does look little strange, but maybe the cat was in the wrong place at the wrong time and just stumbled across a dead body.

These pictures prove nothing!

And if you are reading this, please call the cops because my cats are holding me hostage.

Growing up poor 1 (31-HP Day 15)

Trailer park
Mixed neighborhood
Condemned houses
Father blackballed from job
Forced into business
Cheated by partner
All lost, all gone
No escape from poverty

One heater only
Three boys one room
Five girls other room
My mattress on the floor
A few scattered toys
Books read a dozen times
Canning stored in crawlspace
Vegetable garden in the yard

Food stamps
Government cheese
School breakfasts
Kindness of strangers
Gaunt and shy
Too short for my age
Bad teeth
Bad headaches

Harsh truths
Learned too soon
Always worried
Always hungry
No Santa Claus
No Easter Bunny
Sacrificing self
For the good of others

Then you wonder
Why I sympathize
Why I fight
Why I associate
With the downtrodden
You forget where I came from
I am one of the poor
Still in the back of my mind