Today, I received my review copy of Liber L. vel Bogus--The Real Confession of Aleister Crowley (Richard T. Cole). The basic premise of the book is that Crowley faked the receivership of the Book of the Law. And here is a flash review of the book that I posted to YouTube.
Thursday, April 30, 2015
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
A circle of Bast
(Digging though my files, I stumbled across the ritual script that I used for an Open Full Moon ritual in 2010. The quarter calls have been used on several occasions since then, with minor changes to confirm to the purpose of the ritual at hand.)
Resetting the East (if the room is not set up right for GD-style ritual):
Oh mighty Bast, granddaughter of the Creator of the Universe, Lady of the Visible Universe, who by Thy Supreme Intelligence has explored and mastered the attributes and magnitudes of the directions, we invoke Thee to grant that whatever hidden and mystic virtue doth reside in the radiant East---the Dayspring of Light---the origin of life---may in answer to this our prayer be this day conferred upon the Throne of the Hierophant of this Temple, who is emblem of the Dawning of that Golden Light which shall illuminate the Path of the Unknown and shall guide us at length to the attainment of the Quintessence, the Stone of the Wise, True Wisdom and Perfect Happiness.
So mote it be!
Opening East/calling Eastern quarter:
Hail Bast and the guardians of the watchtower of the East, Protectors and lords of Air. Strengthen the element of Air in us and guide us in its ways. Tonight help us build a connection to the hidden intelligences of the astrological energies. Lead us to a greater understanding of the hidden genius that underlies the rituals.
So mote it be!
Resetting the East (if the room is not set up right for GD-style ritual):
Oh mighty Bast, granddaughter of the Creator of the Universe, Lady of the Visible Universe, who by Thy Supreme Intelligence has explored and mastered the attributes and magnitudes of the directions, we invoke Thee to grant that whatever hidden and mystic virtue doth reside in the radiant East---the Dayspring of Light---the origin of life---may in answer to this our prayer be this day conferred upon the Throne of the Hierophant of this Temple, who is emblem of the Dawning of that Golden Light which shall illuminate the Path of the Unknown and shall guide us at length to the attainment of the Quintessence, the Stone of the Wise, True Wisdom and Perfect Happiness.
So mote it be!
Opening East/calling Eastern quarter:
Hail Bast and the guardians of the watchtower of the East, Protectors and lords of Air. Strengthen the element of Air in us and guide us in its ways. Tonight help us build a connection to the hidden intelligences of the astrological energies. Lead us to a greater understanding of the hidden genius that underlies the rituals.
So mote it be!
Opening South:
Hail Bast and the guardians of the watchtower of the South, Protectors and lords of Fire. Strengthen the element of Fire in us and guide us in its ways. Tonight help us build a connection to the hidden passion of the astrological energies. Lead us to a greater understanding of the hidden power that underlies the rituals.
So mote it be!
Opening West:
Hail Bast and the guardians of the watchtower of the West, Protectors and lords of Water. Strengthen the element of Water in us and guide us in its ways. Tonight help us build a connection to the hidden intuition of the astrological energies. Lead us to a greater understanding of the hidden wisdom that underlies the rituals.
So mote it be!
Opening North:
Hail Bast and the guardians of the watchtower of the North, Protectors and lords of Earth. Strengthen the element of Earth in us and guide us in its ways. Tonight help us build a connection to the hidden fertility of the astrological energies. Lead us to a greater understanding of the hidden creativity that underlies the rituals.
So mote it be!
Opening Center:
Welcome almighty Bast, mother and protector, teacher and instructor. Plant the seed of the solar body in us and guide us in the ways of spirit. Tonight help us build a connection to the hidden spirit of the astrological energies. Bast, Heart of Isis, lead us to a greater understanding of the astrological energies’ function and role in ritual.
So mote it be!
Chant used to help charge a talisman:
Bast Guides
Bast Empowers
Bast Heals
Bast Manifests
Bast Accomplishes
Closing Center:
Thank you, almighty Bast, heart of Isis, for your presence here tonight. May what we have partaken of here tonight lead us to a deeper knowledge and connection with the divine forces of the universe. May there always be a bond of peace, harmony and instruction between us.
Hail and Farewell!
Closing North:
Thank you Bast and the guardians of the watchtower of the North, protectors and lords of Earth, for your presence here tonight. May there always be a bond of peace, harmony and instruction between us.
Hail and Farewell!
Closing West:
Thank you Bast and the guardians of the watchtower of the West, protectors and lords of Water, for your presence here tonight. May there always be a bond of peace, harmony and instruction between us.
Hail and Farewell!
Closing South:
Thank you Bast and the guardians of the watchtower of the South, protectors and lords of Fire, for your presence here tonight. May there always be a bond of peace, harmony and instruction between us.
Hail and Farewell!
Closing East:
Thank you Bast and the guardians of the watchtower of the East, protectors and lords of Air, for your presence here tonight. May there always be a bond of peace, harmony and instruction between us.
Hail and Farewell!
The circle is open, yet unbroken. Merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again!
Sunday, April 19, 2015
The Golden Dawn stance on marijuana
One of the difficulties with a large tradition that is decentralized, and ran by numerous independent operators--such as the modern Golden Dawn tradition--is that it is hard for such a system to come up with universal policies.
And some people expect universal policies--it disturbs them when the leaders of two different Golden Dawn Orders disagree about a policy, for they expect a certain level of agreement within the tradition.
One of the policies that I am watching develop and evolve currently is the tradition's viewpoint on marijuana use.
It used to be more or less universal that admitting that you used marijuana would get you a demerit in Golden Dawn---after all, marijuana was an illegal drug, and no Order wants its members to engage in illegal activities---it was an offense that would end your membership in a proper GD Order.
(In fact, one of the nasty rumors spread though one of the flare-ups of the Golden Dawn flame wars---that wonderful time when certain Orders tried to drag the reputations of their competitors though the mud, in an attempt to create a monopoly for themselves---was that the leadership of a certain branch of the Order was engaged in the illegal trade of marijuana. Interestingly enough, no one ever went to the cops...so it might have just been one of the numerous lies told during the heydays of the GD flame wars.)
A few years ago, I openly came out as a supporter of legal medical marijuana, and later as a supporter of legal recreational marijuana. A lot of people in high positions of Golden Dawn leadership wanted to see me openly expelled from the system for my political beliefs about the subject. (Hey, I heard though the grapevine what people were saying about me.) To their dismay, they learned that the branch of the system that I belonged to was not inclined to expel me for my political beliefs, anymore than they were inclined to expel me for being a loud mouth blogger.
Today, you literally have to check with your superiors in the system to know which way to jump on the issue of marijuana. Some Orders will still expel your ass for using it; others are doing the "don't ask, don't tell" policy; and some Orders are going "if it is legal in your state, then we guess that we have to accept the fact that you are allowed to use it."
(I do find it highly amusing that one of the parties that used to trot out the "and their Chief is guilty of trading in marijuana" is now saying "ok, we guess it is ok if your state voted to make it legal"....which just proves my suspicion that the rumor was always about destroying the reputation of another group, and getting more customers for themselves.)
So where is the Golden Dawn tradition ultimately going to end up on this issue?
Given that the national view on pot is changing, with half of the United States being able to use medical marijuana, and citizens voting to let recreational use happen, plus the little fact that the Feds have started to ignore it on the state level (all the recent busts in marijuana legal states involve syndicate, money laundering, and transporting of pot into states where it is still illegal), I think it is only a matter to time before the Federal Government reclassifies marijuana as a drug more akin to alcohol than cocaine.
Once that happens, I think Golden Dawn as a whole in the United States is going to be forced to embrace the "do not operate under the influence" stance on marijuana, which is the same stance that the system has on the use of alcohol. In other words, do not show up to Order events under the influence, and do not perform magic under the influence.
(Well, more or less...I have heard rumors that some GD leaders do not allow the use of any mind-altering substances, including meds for depression and bi-polar---as in being on prescribed meds will get you expelled---a rumor that worries me to no end, considering that some people like myself actually need such drugs. [Note that I was NOT on meds when I was allowed into GD, so my mental state is acceptable to some without meds...still I am a better, nicer person when I am on my meds.] And the rumor always makes me wonder if said leaders drink coffee, liquor, and use sugar--all of which are mind-altering substances, not alone do magical ritual which also alters your mind.)
Now, at this point, someone always brings up Crowley and Thelema--the Thelemic stance on drugs is much more simpler thanks to the fact that the Book of the Law contains a line that can be read as being pro-drugs. One could argue that you cannot be true Thelemite without doing drugs.
But here is the thing, Golden Dawn is not Thelemic---Thelema is just another religion, and we have to respect all religions. (The reason that Thelemics get tossed out of GD circles is that they insist that everyone needs to follow the Book of the Law and act like Crowley; in other words, they openly disrespect other religions.) While we have to respect your religion, we are also allowed to say that you cannot attend lodge while under the influence---it is not a religious right to be a disrupting agent in lodge.
And shamanism, and voudoun, and what not, again Golden Dawn is not those things---therefore, the stance that those systems have on drug use does not apply to GD either. Golden Dawn techniques are meant to be used for people who are sober...well, soberish.
Now, I know that someone will say "Gee, Morgan, we presume that you are doing the happy drug, surely that means that you have to allow people under the influence into a meeting." No, in fact, given my experience with marijuana, I must insist that you should not be operating under the influence. Honestly, I have a hard time cooking dinner under the influence of some strains of marijuana, not alone calling the divine names in the correct order. If I can't do magic under the influence, I presume that no one can. And no, I am not going to watch as you try to prove that you are better at handling drugs.
(For the record, I am using marijuana because I get migraines that can last for days on end. My record is twenty-two days. Given that fact, I think that my open support of legal pot is understandable.)
To recap: Do not operate under the influence, and "don't ask, don't tell," and stay legal.
And some people expect universal policies--it disturbs them when the leaders of two different Golden Dawn Orders disagree about a policy, for they expect a certain level of agreement within the tradition.
One of the policies that I am watching develop and evolve currently is the tradition's viewpoint on marijuana use.
It used to be more or less universal that admitting that you used marijuana would get you a demerit in Golden Dawn---after all, marijuana was an illegal drug, and no Order wants its members to engage in illegal activities---it was an offense that would end your membership in a proper GD Order.
(In fact, one of the nasty rumors spread though one of the flare-ups of the Golden Dawn flame wars---that wonderful time when certain Orders tried to drag the reputations of their competitors though the mud, in an attempt to create a monopoly for themselves---was that the leadership of a certain branch of the Order was engaged in the illegal trade of marijuana. Interestingly enough, no one ever went to the cops...so it might have just been one of the numerous lies told during the heydays of the GD flame wars.)
A few years ago, I openly came out as a supporter of legal medical marijuana, and later as a supporter of legal recreational marijuana. A lot of people in high positions of Golden Dawn leadership wanted to see me openly expelled from the system for my political beliefs about the subject. (Hey, I heard though the grapevine what people were saying about me.) To their dismay, they learned that the branch of the system that I belonged to was not inclined to expel me for my political beliefs, anymore than they were inclined to expel me for being a loud mouth blogger.
Today, you literally have to check with your superiors in the system to know which way to jump on the issue of marijuana. Some Orders will still expel your ass for using it; others are doing the "don't ask, don't tell" policy; and some Orders are going "if it is legal in your state, then we guess that we have to accept the fact that you are allowed to use it."
(I do find it highly amusing that one of the parties that used to trot out the "and their Chief is guilty of trading in marijuana" is now saying "ok, we guess it is ok if your state voted to make it legal"....which just proves my suspicion that the rumor was always about destroying the reputation of another group, and getting more customers for themselves.)
So where is the Golden Dawn tradition ultimately going to end up on this issue?
Given that the national view on pot is changing, with half of the United States being able to use medical marijuana, and citizens voting to let recreational use happen, plus the little fact that the Feds have started to ignore it on the state level (all the recent busts in marijuana legal states involve syndicate, money laundering, and transporting of pot into states where it is still illegal), I think it is only a matter to time before the Federal Government reclassifies marijuana as a drug more akin to alcohol than cocaine.
Once that happens, I think Golden Dawn as a whole in the United States is going to be forced to embrace the "do not operate under the influence" stance on marijuana, which is the same stance that the system has on the use of alcohol. In other words, do not show up to Order events under the influence, and do not perform magic under the influence.
(Well, more or less...I have heard rumors that some GD leaders do not allow the use of any mind-altering substances, including meds for depression and bi-polar---as in being on prescribed meds will get you expelled---a rumor that worries me to no end, considering that some people like myself actually need such drugs. [Note that I was NOT on meds when I was allowed into GD, so my mental state is acceptable to some without meds...still I am a better, nicer person when I am on my meds.] And the rumor always makes me wonder if said leaders drink coffee, liquor, and use sugar--all of which are mind-altering substances, not alone do magical ritual which also alters your mind.)
Now, at this point, someone always brings up Crowley and Thelema--the Thelemic stance on drugs is much more simpler thanks to the fact that the Book of the Law contains a line that can be read as being pro-drugs. One could argue that you cannot be true Thelemite without doing drugs.
But here is the thing, Golden Dawn is not Thelemic---Thelema is just another religion, and we have to respect all religions. (The reason that Thelemics get tossed out of GD circles is that they insist that everyone needs to follow the Book of the Law and act like Crowley; in other words, they openly disrespect other religions.) While we have to respect your religion, we are also allowed to say that you cannot attend lodge while under the influence---it is not a religious right to be a disrupting agent in lodge.
And shamanism, and voudoun, and what not, again Golden Dawn is not those things---therefore, the stance that those systems have on drug use does not apply to GD either. Golden Dawn techniques are meant to be used for people who are sober...well, soberish.
Now, I know that someone will say "Gee, Morgan, we presume that you are doing the happy drug, surely that means that you have to allow people under the influence into a meeting." No, in fact, given my experience with marijuana, I must insist that you should not be operating under the influence. Honestly, I have a hard time cooking dinner under the influence of some strains of marijuana, not alone calling the divine names in the correct order. If I can't do magic under the influence, I presume that no one can. And no, I am not going to watch as you try to prove that you are better at handling drugs.
(For the record, I am using marijuana because I get migraines that can last for days on end. My record is twenty-two days. Given that fact, I think that my open support of legal pot is understandable.)
To recap: Do not operate under the influence, and "don't ask, don't tell," and stay legal.
 |
| Don't you hate it when dinner becomes a math problem? |
Monday, April 6, 2015
Magic is NOT for everyone
Late last night, a person posted, in the Golden Dawn Facebook group that I help moderate, that they and their partner were in the process of creating a new course. This course is to be aimed at a mainstream audience, so it could not be too occult--but they are planning on cherry picking techniques from Golden Dawn and other systems...so essentially the occult would be disguised. And most importantly, the course had to be effective and reliable for the average individual in western society--all in the name of empowerment.
To say I have a few problems with this idea would be understating things. Personally, I think that the whole idea is a giant bag of poo. Here are a couple of comments that I made about it before the entire discussion got deleted (and not by me...I think that the original poster did not like what I had to say about his project):
"My mind keeps coming back to a problem I see with aiming it at the average individual---your average person is averse to change; your average person is averse to work. So unless you are making another "Law of Attraction" level course (most LOA stuff is...well, flawed---the only real work most of it does is to transfer money from the clients pockets to the person running the course), you have to figure out a way to make your average person accept change, and a way to make them actually work at the process."
"Unfortunately, GD methods are full of change and work....so you are probably going to have to lose this part of your course plan if you want your course to appeal to your average individual."
"And yes, if I was to create a course myself, aimed at the average individual, I would not go for anything more than happy New Age talk aimed at confirming that individual's opinion and biases are absolutely correct....because that is the amount of work and change that your average individual is willing to accept---absolutely no work and no change at all. Therefore, all the GD stuff has to be left out....along with the working bits of any other spiritual development system."
When the person shot back that they want to create human beings that think--I merely rolled my eyes...I have seen what passes nowadays as "critical thinking" training (basically if you do not agree with what the creator of the course thinks, you are labelled a troublemaker and showed the door). And I have seen firsthand the lack of actual thinking in this person's own postings on the internet, so I do not hold out high hopes that they can teach something that they themselves seem incapable of doing.
My "polite" parting shot was: "Here is the bottom line---if any of us knew how to accomplish this goal, we would be doing it already. And that includes you--if you knew how to pull this off, you would not be asking for input."
At this point of time, I was declared a defeatist by the other person, who then cited Gandhi, Einstein, and Tesla as people who had vision and had made a difference. It was right after this that I said "I guess that you are the Messiah."
I didn't get to say anything else because someone (and I think that it was the original poster, aka the creator of this "soon to revolutionize humanity" course) deleted the entire discussion.
Seriously, ideas like this worry me. Every course I have ever seen aimed at the masses is nothing more than a control and asset reallotment scheme (think like me, and give me your money! and feel good about yourself for making a difference....in other words, thanks for being gullible and buying me a new jet). And this individual's idea that people who subscribe to courses actually do the work is flawed---just look at the numbers of subscribers that pay for the BOTA course, who do not do a lick of actual work with the course...and that course is about empowerment and change.
No, the only real reason to create an occult course, no matter how watered down, aimed at the masses, Joe Q. Common, is that you are running a scam and want to fleece people of their hard-earned money, so that you do not have to work hard yourself.
If you actually want to make a difference, you aim at those individuals who can and are willing to become exceptional--you do not have to disguise the occult or make them feel good about themselves--and you never mistake them for the common herd.
To say I have a few problems with this idea would be understating things. Personally, I think that the whole idea is a giant bag of poo. Here are a couple of comments that I made about it before the entire discussion got deleted (and not by me...I think that the original poster did not like what I had to say about his project):
"My mind keeps coming back to a problem I see with aiming it at the average individual---your average person is averse to change; your average person is averse to work. So unless you are making another "Law of Attraction" level course (most LOA stuff is...well, flawed---the only real work most of it does is to transfer money from the clients pockets to the person running the course), you have to figure out a way to make your average person accept change, and a way to make them actually work at the process."
"Unfortunately, GD methods are full of change and work....so you are probably going to have to lose this part of your course plan if you want your course to appeal to your average individual."
"And yes, if I was to create a course myself, aimed at the average individual, I would not go for anything more than happy New Age talk aimed at confirming that individual's opinion and biases are absolutely correct....because that is the amount of work and change that your average individual is willing to accept---absolutely no work and no change at all. Therefore, all the GD stuff has to be left out....along with the working bits of any other spiritual development system."
When the person shot back that they want to create human beings that think--I merely rolled my eyes...I have seen what passes nowadays as "critical thinking" training (basically if you do not agree with what the creator of the course thinks, you are labelled a troublemaker and showed the door). And I have seen firsthand the lack of actual thinking in this person's own postings on the internet, so I do not hold out high hopes that they can teach something that they themselves seem incapable of doing.
My "polite" parting shot was: "Here is the bottom line---if any of us knew how to accomplish this goal, we would be doing it already. And that includes you--if you knew how to pull this off, you would not be asking for input."
At this point of time, I was declared a defeatist by the other person, who then cited Gandhi, Einstein, and Tesla as people who had vision and had made a difference. It was right after this that I said "I guess that you are the Messiah."
I didn't get to say anything else because someone (and I think that it was the original poster, aka the creator of this "soon to revolutionize humanity" course) deleted the entire discussion.
Seriously, ideas like this worry me. Every course I have ever seen aimed at the masses is nothing more than a control and asset reallotment scheme (think like me, and give me your money! and feel good about yourself for making a difference....in other words, thanks for being gullible and buying me a new jet). And this individual's idea that people who subscribe to courses actually do the work is flawed---just look at the numbers of subscribers that pay for the BOTA course, who do not do a lick of actual work with the course...and that course is about empowerment and change.
No, the only real reason to create an occult course, no matter how watered down, aimed at the masses, Joe Q. Common, is that you are running a scam and want to fleece people of their hard-earned money, so that you do not have to work hard yourself.
If you actually want to make a difference, you aim at those individuals who can and are willing to become exceptional--you do not have to disguise the occult or make them feel good about themselves--and you never mistake them for the common herd.
 |
| Yes, magic is for all of you---and God wants you to send me your money because I need a new jet. |
Saturday, April 4, 2015
Lies! All Lies! (The Really Real Secret Chiefs have their say)
When I make a mistake, I admit it...unlike some other people I know. A few days ago, I wrote a post consisting of vast amounts of misinformation. In the post, I "revealed" that the Secret Chiefs were dogs. This lapse of proper blogging logic was met with disapproval by those who are really the Real Secret Chiefs. So here is an interview with the Real Real Secret Chiefs.
How long have you been Secret Chiefs?
We have been Secret Chiefs since Ancient Egypt. In fact, we are the real McCoy, the one and only Secret Chiefs. Anyone who tells you different is just trying to make you look like a complete idiot.
Would you like to provide answers to the questions that the imposter Secret Chiefs answered?
No. Do we look like dogs who will roll over on command? Oh, you are offering catnip...oh, I suppose that we can answer the same questions and set the record right.
When asked "How do you determine the spiritual rank of people?," dogs answered they did think by the quality of food given to them, their general treatment, and sniffing butts.
Well, part of that answer is correct, but the rest of the answer needs revision. Yes, the quality of food is important, but even better is the ability to know what we are hungry for today---not many people are Adept enough to be able to do that. As for the being taken on walks and being forced to play fetch, we must point out that dogs are complete idiots who do not realize that such behavior is actually abuse. Far better is a person who does not care that we sleep on and sharpen our claws on all of their furniture--that is part of the royal treatment that we deserve as Secret Chiefs. And it is the spiritual advanced who sniff our butts, not the other way around.
When asked "Who is the highest species on the planet?," dogs answered that humans were the highest species on the planet.
Really? That could not be more wrong--are all dogs dropped on their heads when they are puppies? Because they sure are failing in their game of pretending to be Secret Chiefs. The only reason to think that humans are superior is if you are breed and trained to serve them--something that has cursed dogs since they came into the cave. Poor brain washed creatures.
So who is really the highest species on the planet?
You are a little daft, ain't you? Naturally, cats are the highest species on this planet--after all, humans are serving us.
When asked how to advance in the Great Work, dogs answered that one did so by working hard and pleasing the divine.
Well, one cannot go wrong by pleasing the divine, but you need to remember that us cats are the true deities, therefore you need to please us. As for hard work, what are dogs thinking? No enlightened being works--no, your day needs to be filled with play and power naps.
When asked how they feel about bacon, dogs answered that they love it, and that it cannot be improved upon. What are your thoughts on bacon?
You should fry us up some bacon, so that we can decide if we like it today or not. Really, go on, get into that kitchen. Oh, you are just going to sit there, no wonder you are failing in your quest to become enlightened--what is the point of having Secret Chiefs, if you do not obey their every whim? Anyways, dogs are wrong about bacon being perfect. Bacon can be improved by wrapping it around sardines and shrimp--hint, hint.
When asked who is the worst enemy of mankind, dogs said that the mailman is because he brings bad news and bills. So did dogs get this answer right?
Of course not. Yes, the mailman is a bad person, but he is not as bad as his totem animal, the evil happy squirrel. It is sad really how rotten dog brains are; even the Ancient Norse knew that squirrels were evil, lying bastards.
When asked what the official uniform of Secret Chiefs was, dogs answered that it was a fez.
Really? A fez? Have you ever wondered why so many cats refuse to wear a fez, or any other type of headwear or clothes? The answer is simple--the uniform does not make the Secret Chief. We are as wise as ever, whether or not, we allow you to take silly pictures of us cats wearing fezes--a simple piece of life endangering clothes is not going to make you any smarter...especially considering that you only seem a bit more intelligent than a dog.
I think that we should end this interview right here.
And we think that you should never have believed the word of a dog. Meow!
How long have you been Secret Chiefs?
We have been Secret Chiefs since Ancient Egypt. In fact, we are the real McCoy, the one and only Secret Chiefs. Anyone who tells you different is just trying to make you look like a complete idiot.
Would you like to provide answers to the questions that the imposter Secret Chiefs answered?
No. Do we look like dogs who will roll over on command? Oh, you are offering catnip...oh, I suppose that we can answer the same questions and set the record right.
When asked "How do you determine the spiritual rank of people?," dogs answered they did think by the quality of food given to them, their general treatment, and sniffing butts.
Well, part of that answer is correct, but the rest of the answer needs revision. Yes, the quality of food is important, but even better is the ability to know what we are hungry for today---not many people are Adept enough to be able to do that. As for the being taken on walks and being forced to play fetch, we must point out that dogs are complete idiots who do not realize that such behavior is actually abuse. Far better is a person who does not care that we sleep on and sharpen our claws on all of their furniture--that is part of the royal treatment that we deserve as Secret Chiefs. And it is the spiritual advanced who sniff our butts, not the other way around.
When asked "Who is the highest species on the planet?," dogs answered that humans were the highest species on the planet.
Really? That could not be more wrong--are all dogs dropped on their heads when they are puppies? Because they sure are failing in their game of pretending to be Secret Chiefs. The only reason to think that humans are superior is if you are breed and trained to serve them--something that has cursed dogs since they came into the cave. Poor brain washed creatures.
So who is really the highest species on the planet?
You are a little daft, ain't you? Naturally, cats are the highest species on this planet--after all, humans are serving us.
When asked how to advance in the Great Work, dogs answered that one did so by working hard and pleasing the divine.
Well, one cannot go wrong by pleasing the divine, but you need to remember that us cats are the true deities, therefore you need to please us. As for hard work, what are dogs thinking? No enlightened being works--no, your day needs to be filled with play and power naps.
When asked how they feel about bacon, dogs answered that they love it, and that it cannot be improved upon. What are your thoughts on bacon?
You should fry us up some bacon, so that we can decide if we like it today or not. Really, go on, get into that kitchen. Oh, you are just going to sit there, no wonder you are failing in your quest to become enlightened--what is the point of having Secret Chiefs, if you do not obey their every whim? Anyways, dogs are wrong about bacon being perfect. Bacon can be improved by wrapping it around sardines and shrimp--hint, hint.
When asked who is the worst enemy of mankind, dogs said that the mailman is because he brings bad news and bills. So did dogs get this answer right?
Of course not. Yes, the mailman is a bad person, but he is not as bad as his totem animal, the evil happy squirrel. It is sad really how rotten dog brains are; even the Ancient Norse knew that squirrels were evil, lying bastards.
When asked what the official uniform of Secret Chiefs was, dogs answered that it was a fez.
Really? A fez? Have you ever wondered why so many cats refuse to wear a fez, or any other type of headwear or clothes? The answer is simple--the uniform does not make the Secret Chief. We are as wise as ever, whether or not, we allow you to take silly pictures of us cats wearing fezes--a simple piece of life endangering clothes is not going to make you any smarter...especially considering that you only seem a bit more intelligent than a dog.
I think that we should end this interview right here.
And we think that you should never have believed the word of a dog. Meow!
 |
| Here is a picture of a cat wearing a fez...because the internet really does need more of these. |
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
The Real Secret Chiefs finally revealed!
Today, the stars are all aligned right to reveal news that will shake the Golden Dawn community to its very foundation. For years, I have been doped and manipulated, forced to serve a false set of Secret Chiefs. But recently I learned the truth that will unlock every esoteric and occult document, and bring new strength to the Golden Dawn tradition.
Without further ado, I present the real Secret Chiefs who chose me, and only me, to reveal the superiority of their Secret Wisdom. Feast your eyes on the very first communication with the Secret Chiefs, an initimate interview that the Secret Chiefs commanded me to post on my blog--enjoy your newly dawning enlightenment.
Why reveal yourselves today?
Today is the most sacred of days in our esoteric calendar, Day C, when all the brothers and sisters of the Rosicrucian Order met with their fellow seekers, the Illuminitia, exchanging lessons of crutical thinking.
And why did you chose me as your prophet?
We chose you as our spokesperson because you have the most read Golden Dawn blog, and because everyone loves you--there has never been an unkind word said about you, except by people trying to destory you. Besides any man who choses to speak to us, giving us more attention than the mere human mortals around us must be a totally cool guy, fit to lead the human race into the future.
How do you determine how advanced someone is?
There are several ways that we determine such things. One can learn a lot about a person from their tone of voice, and the way that they treat other living beings. A big custom of ours that we command you to share with your readers is the sharing of food--you can tell a lot about a person by what food they are willing to share with their companions. We also recognize that play is important, as well as getting enough exercise--a healthy body equals a healthy mind--therefore, you should take more walks. And when all else fails, we can judge a person by how they react to getting their butt sniffed; after all, a lot of humans like to pretend that their gas does not smell.
Who is the highest species on the planet?
Humans, of course. They are like gods, and the whole reason that we, the Secret Chiefs, exist is to help them advance in their knowledge. We live to serve humanity as it blossoms into a species that aliens will be proud to meet.
How does one advance in the Great Work?
By working hard. Protect those who are weaker than you are. When bad things happen, spread the news--for when a siren is not barked at, no one will know that they are in danger. Do things that are pleasing to humans, for they are like gods awaiting your service.
How do you feel about bacon?
Love it---you can't improve on bacon.
Who is the worst enemy of mankind?
The mailman. Here is an example of a person who has sunk as low as a human being can get, fearful of strangers, ready to pepper spray any that greet them; a human that only fetches and brings forth bad things, such as bills and cat magazines.
Finally, what is the official uniform of a Secret Chief?
Without further ado, I present the real Secret Chiefs who chose me, and only me, to reveal the superiority of their Secret Wisdom. Feast your eyes on the very first communication with the Secret Chiefs, an initimate interview that the Secret Chiefs commanded me to post on my blog--enjoy your newly dawning enlightenment.
Why reveal yourselves today?
Today is the most sacred of days in our esoteric calendar, Day C, when all the brothers and sisters of the Rosicrucian Order met with their fellow seekers, the Illuminitia, exchanging lessons of crutical thinking.
And why did you chose me as your prophet?
We chose you as our spokesperson because you have the most read Golden Dawn blog, and because everyone loves you--there has never been an unkind word said about you, except by people trying to destory you. Besides any man who choses to speak to us, giving us more attention than the mere human mortals around us must be a totally cool guy, fit to lead the human race into the future.
How do you determine how advanced someone is?
There are several ways that we determine such things. One can learn a lot about a person from their tone of voice, and the way that they treat other living beings. A big custom of ours that we command you to share with your readers is the sharing of food--you can tell a lot about a person by what food they are willing to share with their companions. We also recognize that play is important, as well as getting enough exercise--a healthy body equals a healthy mind--therefore, you should take more walks. And when all else fails, we can judge a person by how they react to getting their butt sniffed; after all, a lot of humans like to pretend that their gas does not smell.
Who is the highest species on the planet?
Humans, of course. They are like gods, and the whole reason that we, the Secret Chiefs, exist is to help them advance in their knowledge. We live to serve humanity as it blossoms into a species that aliens will be proud to meet.
How does one advance in the Great Work?
By working hard. Protect those who are weaker than you are. When bad things happen, spread the news--for when a siren is not barked at, no one will know that they are in danger. Do things that are pleasing to humans, for they are like gods awaiting your service.
How do you feel about bacon?
Love it---you can't improve on bacon.
Who is the worst enemy of mankind?
The mailman. Here is an example of a person who has sunk as low as a human being can get, fearful of strangers, ready to pepper spray any that greet them; a human that only fetches and brings forth bad things, such as bills and cat magazines.
Finally, what is the official uniform of a Secret Chief?
A fez and a bow tie, of course.
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| Behold the vision of a Secret Chief wearing the sacred Fez and Bow Tie. |
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