Secrets declassified (Golden Dawn edition)

Awhile back, one of my friends joked that our experience with dealing with dubious occult leaders was preparation and practice for living in a world ran by Donald Trump. I forget which of my friends said this, so you are just going to have complain to me about the comment (at this point, I assume that my friend is grateful that I forgotten their identity because they didn't want your nasty comments on their Facebook wall).


And I really had to agree the other day when America learned that President Trump had revealed secret information to the Russians as proof that he had the best intel ever. His defense? Oh, as President I have the right to declassify any information that he wants to.


And that sounded remarkably like a dubious occult leader saying, "I am the Grand Poohbah of all things occult--therefore, I can reveal any secrets that I like, because my imaginary friends say that I can."


So has the behavior and actions of dubious occult leaders been a training ground in how to deal with The Donald? Here are some examples of how secrecy has been treated in the esoteric community.


Reveal one: A favorite tactic of dubious occult leaders is to publish the work of other less-capable leaders and occult authorities--all in the name of "protecting potential students from the evils committed by that other group that is not as good as mine."


Reveal two: Airing the dirty laundry of former members. "So-and-so left (was expelled from) the group--and this is a good thing because 1) they are a convict (who conned me into giving them membership); 2) mentally unstable and seeing a doctor (and now they are taking a dozen meds per hour, so sad!); 3) conspiring to destroy me (proof: they keep saying bad things about me--all fake!).


Reveal three: Declaring that everything published about a system is Outer Order. "And by the way, my imaginary friends have given me boatloads of real secrets to make up for this because I am the bestest occult leader ever! Give me your money! And pay no attention to claims about how the occult is a graded system which is meant to gradually initiate and instruct you--because I can do years of advancement in just one session! Give me your money!"


Reveal four: Regardie, Crowley, and all those other nasty writers profaned the material..."But no problem--my imaginary friends have rewritten the rituals and lessons to restore secrecy. Plus they gave the new material only to me! Give me your money!"


Reveal five: Westcott leaving documents in a cab--bosses shocked that he is raising corpses! "And if you cross me, I will also tattle to your bosses that you are a necromancer--because it is tradition to reveal that secret to the bosses of the unworthy."


Reveal six: Nondisclosure agreements. "Remember that only I have the right to teach the stuff that I am teaching you. So no photocopying my lessons--not even if you cite me as their source."


Reveal seven: Offering to certify your group if you send them your proof of lineage and your secret documents. "Don't worry--I will send you back your originals, and I will honestly admit that I got the material from you, and would never dream of not certifying you. After all, I have the best lineage of all, and all the super-duper secrets, and that is proof that I am the best and most honest leader ever!"

"If these documents are discovered in a cab, please send them to this address--thank you, William Wynn Westcott."

Cover-up one: Getting the best reviews. "All of the reviews of my course are positive. No one ever says anything bad about my course. All those positive reviews are proof that I am the best ever. And all those negative reviews are Fake! So sad!"


Cover-up two: Funny masks. "And we are now wearing funny masks because some of our members are CEOs and famous politicians who do not want the public to know that they are a member of our Order. You can trust me--by the way, they told me that Pizza Gate was real!"


Cover-up three: Secret chiefs. "I am the only person in contact with the people who created our esoteric tradition. They live on a mountain in Tibet, yet were wise enough to see that I am the only person brilliant enough to bring magic into the twenty-first century. Give me your money!"


Cover-up four: Members keeping silent. "My members keep silent about my misdeeds because I have never committed any. And their silence proves that your wallet, credit rating, and young children (especially the virgins) are safe with me. Never mind that those who claim that they are silent because they are scared that I might set their car on fire. Such nonsense is Fake News!"


Cover-up five: The amazing catapult of lawyers. "Please erase all your vicious lies and publically apologize for saying that my pickle is very small, and that I can't hex my way out of a wet paper bag. Remember only the greatest esoteric leaders end up with free lawyers. And I have the best lawyer. The very best."


Cover-up six: Fixing your book reviews. "Your book is nothing more than a pack of lies. Therefore, I have told all my friends, members, and relatives to give it the one star book review that you so richly deserve. Remember that only my book is worth buying. It is the greatest occult book ever. And I did not use a ghost writer, or copy the work of other people--any such evidence to the contrary is proof that time travelers are trying to destroy me and my group."


Cover-up seven: My name, my papers. "Dear public library, I have recently trademarked the name 'The Greatest Occult group ever' and now retroactively own every paper ever written by the great occultists of the past. You are hereby ordered to remove from circulation all esoteric material by every occultist ever to live, and send the documents to me. Remember a Big Name Trademark Brand proves that I am the best, and therefore you must obey my request."


So what do you think? Do dubious occult leaders sound just like President Donald "Jesus" Trump? Are they his secret love children? Has their behavior prepared you for living in Trump World?


Are you an evil witch or magician who thinks that Trump is going to give the nuclear launch codes to the Russians? Consider taking part in the global monthly waning crescent moon ritual to bind the actions of President Donald J. Trump.
For full text of Global Binding Ritual of Trump, click here. 

Dates for future Global Bind Donald J. Trump rituals 

[Asterisked * dates are slightly moved from the last quarter crescent moon to occur on significant dates.]

2017

February 24; March 26; April 24; May 23; *June 21* (*Summer Solstice*); July 21; August 19; September 18; October 17; November 16; December 16

For a full list of future Bind Trump dates, click here. 

Lies! All Lies! (The Really Real Secret Chiefs have their say)

When I make a mistake, I admit it...unlike some other people I know. A few days ago, I wrote a post consisting of vast amounts of misinformation. In the post, I "revealed" that the Secret Chiefs were dogs. This lapse of proper blogging logic was met with disapproval by those who are really the Real Secret Chiefs. So here is an interview with the Real Real Secret Chiefs.

How long have you been Secret Chiefs?

We have been Secret Chiefs since Ancient Egypt. In fact, we are the real McCoy, the one and only Secret Chiefs. Anyone who tells you different is just trying to make you look like a complete idiot.

Would you like to provide answers to the questions that the imposter Secret Chiefs answered?

No. Do we look like dogs who will roll over on command? Oh, you are offering catnip...oh, I suppose that we can answer the same questions and set the record right.

When asked "How do you determine the spiritual rank of people?," dogs answered they did think by the quality of food given to them, their general treatment, and sniffing butts.

Well, part of that answer is correct, but the rest of the answer needs revision. Yes, the quality of food is important, but even better is the ability to know what we are hungry for today---not many people are Adept enough to be able to do that. As for the being taken on walks and being forced to play fetch, we must point out that dogs are complete idiots who do not realize that such behavior is actually abuse. Far better is a person who does not care that we sleep on and sharpen our claws on all of their furniture--that is part of the royal treatment that we deserve as Secret Chiefs. And it is the spiritual advanced who sniff our butts, not the other way around.

When asked "Who is the highest species on the planet?," dogs answered that humans were the highest species on the planet.

Really? That could not be more wrong--are all dogs dropped on their heads when they are puppies? Because they sure are failing in their game of pretending to be Secret Chiefs. The only reason to think that humans are superior is if you are breed and trained to serve them--something that has cursed dogs since they came into the cave. Poor brain washed creatures.

So who is really the highest species on the planet?

You are a little daft, ain't you? Naturally, cats are the highest species on this planet--after all, humans are serving us.

When asked how to advance in the Great Work, dogs answered that one did so by working hard and pleasing the divine.

Well, one cannot go wrong by pleasing the divine, but you need to remember that us cats are the true deities, therefore you need to please us. As for hard work, what are dogs thinking? No enlightened being works--no, your day needs to be filled with play and power naps.

When asked how they feel about bacon, dogs answered that they love it, and that it cannot be improved upon. What are your thoughts on bacon?

You should fry us up some bacon, so that we can decide if we like it today or not. Really, go on, get into that kitchen. Oh, you are just going to sit there, no wonder you are failing in your quest to become enlightened--what is the point of having Secret Chiefs, if you do not obey their every whim?  Anyways, dogs are wrong about bacon being perfect. Bacon can be improved by wrapping it around sardines and shrimp--hint, hint.

When asked who is the worst enemy of mankind, dogs said that the mailman is because he brings bad news and bills. So did dogs get this answer right?

Of course not. Yes, the mailman is a bad person, but he is not as bad as his totem animal, the evil happy squirrel. It is sad really how rotten dog brains are; even the Ancient Norse knew that squirrels were evil, lying bastards.

When asked what the official uniform of Secret Chiefs was, dogs answered that it was a fez.

Really? A fez? Have you ever wondered why so many cats refuse to wear a fez, or any other type of headwear or clothes? The answer is simple--the uniform does not make the Secret Chief. We are as wise as ever, whether or not, we allow you to take silly pictures of us cats wearing fezes--a simple piece of life endangering clothes is not going to make you any smarter...especially considering that you only seem a bit more intelligent than a dog.

I think that we should end this interview right here.

And we think that you should never have believed the word of a dog. Meow!

Here is a picture of a cat wearing a fez...because the internet really does need more of these.

The Real Secret Chiefs finally revealed!

Today, the stars are all aligned right to reveal news that will shake the Golden Dawn community to its very foundation. For years, I have been doped and manipulated, forced to serve a false set of Secret Chiefs. But recently I learned the truth that will unlock every esoteric and occult document, and bring new strength to the Golden Dawn tradition.

Without further ado, I present the real Secret Chiefs who chose me, and only me, to reveal the superiority of their Secret Wisdom. Feast your eyes on the very first communication with the Secret Chiefs, an initimate interview that the Secret Chiefs commanded me to post on my blog--enjoy your newly dawning enlightenment.

Why reveal yourselves today?

Today is the most sacred of days in our esoteric calendar, Day C, when all the brothers and sisters of the Rosicrucian Order met with their fellow seekers, the Illuminitia, exchanging lessons of crutical thinking.

And why did you chose me as your prophet?

We chose you as our spokesperson because you have the most read Golden Dawn blog, and because everyone loves you--there has never been an unkind word said about you, except by people trying to destory you. Besides any man who choses to speak to us, giving us more attention than the mere human mortals around us must be a totally cool guy, fit to lead the human race into the future.

How do you determine how advanced someone is?

There are several ways that we determine such things. One can learn a lot about a person from their tone of voice, and the way that they treat other living beings. A big custom of ours that we command you to share with your readers is the sharing of food--you can tell a lot about a person by what food they are willing to share with their companions. We also recognize that play is important, as well as getting enough exercise--a healthy body equals a healthy mind--therefore, you should take more walks. And when all else fails, we can judge a person by how they react to getting their butt sniffed; after all, a lot of humans like to pretend that their gas does not smell.

Who is the highest species on the planet?

Humans, of course. They are like gods, and the whole reason that we, the Secret Chiefs, exist is to help them advance in their knowledge. We live to serve humanity as it blossoms into a species that aliens will be proud to meet.

How does one advance in the Great Work?

By working hard. Protect those who are weaker than you are. When bad things happen, spread the news--for when a siren is not barked at, no one will know that they are in danger. Do things that are pleasing to humans, for they are like gods awaiting your service.

How do you feel about bacon?

Love it---you can't improve on bacon.

Who is the worst enemy of mankind?

The mailman. Here is an example of a person who has sunk as low as a human being can get, fearful of strangers, ready to pepper spray any that greet them; a human that only fetches and brings forth bad things, such as bills and cat magazines.

Finally, what is the official uniform of a Secret Chief? 

A fez and a bow tie, of course. 

Behold the vision of a Secret Chief wearing the sacred Fez and Bow Tie.

Witch apprentice (31 Days of Halloween Kitties Day 22 Year 3)

Is your cat your witch apprentice?

Sometimes I think that my cats are taking notes while I am doing rituals. Like yesterday, during my daily performance of the Lesser rituals and the Middle Pillar, the two youngest cats (they are both three years old--and brothers) just sat there and watched me. I am positive that they were taking notes, and judging me on my performance. Now, there are some that might say that they are learning magic from me, and therefore are apprentices. My personal view is that they are probably Secret Chiefs (as my regular readers know).

Personal mental problem (31-HP Day 11)

You say I have a mental problem
You insist that I am ill
Not evolved enough to understand you
That an enlightened being of prime intelligence
Would totally agree with you
If I was really smart, you say
Then I would obey your every whim

Well, I am sorry that you hurt
Because I won't follow you
But your ideas are boorish
And a touch immature
They smell of cheap tequila
And dollar a gallon perfume
Yes, it's a personal mental problem for sure

Oh yes, you are smarter than me
Yet you seek my advice
Yes, you are more experienced than me
Yet I have more scars
You know my business better than I do
Yet I am the one with the profit
Oh yes, I do see a personal mental problem here

You rack up evidence of your truth
Bogus websites and shady reviews
Plus a history that is truly daft
Oh yes, the problem is with me
Being unable to follow you
Because I am laughing too hard to even walk straight
Oh yes, it is definitely a mental problem I suffer from

Yes, I need some counseling and some happy pills
A priest and salvation
A guru and enlightenment
But most importantly, complete adherence to your will
Yet I would rather stuck with my lowly opinion
That you are a complete and utter prate
The cheese in the fridge is less green than you

And yes, there is a personal mental problem here
On that I would agree
But no amount of exorcism
Therapy or dog-kissing
Will negate the fact that I am old and grumpy
Quite unwilling to believe your fantastic claim
That the personal mental problem is actually mine

One hundred ninety eight thousand all time views here

Secret Chief Apollo states his reason why you should read this blog.

So according to the Blogger's information, as I write this, I have exactly 198000 all-time views. There is part of me that wants to claim that "nearly two hundred thousand readers have discovered this blog"--but that would be false. In fact, it is probably just twenty-five readers who have came here eight thousand times apiece. Yes, that is right--overall views is just the number of "page views/reads" that you have received, not the number of readers overall...despite what some bloggers would have you believe.

I have no idea (and either does any other blogger) about how many "unique" readers I actually had over the years--mainly because the NSA will not tell us. Why is that? Because every time that someone rereads a post, or checks my comment section, that is counted as an additional pageview--the only way to track "unique" readers is to install cookies on visitors computers, and the cookies are only accurate until the user wipes their internet browser cache. That is, if you are not the NSA--the NSA is tracking something else completely (as in your individual email addresses, phone numbers, and service providers) and using a really big server to store all the information in.

And yes, if you are reading this, the NSA is probably looking at you--after all, this blog is about the Golden Dawn, and the Secret Chiefs of my Order have light bulbs. That is radical occult science!

Monopoly Cat wins

Monopoly Cat automatically wins Monopoly.

Back in February, people were asked to vote on what Monopoly token they wanted to replace, and what they wanted to replace it with. In the end, the Iron token was replaced with a Cat token. The Cat received 31 percent of the vote...which is just further proof that cats are the Secret Chiefs (because Secret Chiefs this century advertise their awesomeness even when you are unwilling or unable to contact them or even understand their decisions).

Yes, I voted for the Cat token.

And I would have taken a picture of my own cat on a Monopoly board...except I have no clue where I stored the board.

My wild theory of the day: If your cat kicks off all the other players' tokens onto the floor and occupies the entire board, you win. No, what do you mean that is not how it works?! That is how Monopoly works in Golden Dawn, so why shouldn't the game that teaches us that we want to control a monopoly not work the same way?

(For those of you who are blissfully unaware of the GD Monopoly rules, the rules clearly state that if your GD group has a Secret Chief that you get to rule everyone else's Order while puking up hairballs in their closets and pissing on all their hard work. Don't believe me? Well, produce your copy of the GD rulebook and prove to me that it does not say so in the rules. Oh, you can't prove that it does not say that...because you claim there is no such rulebook...well, alrighty then--I win! just like Monopoly Cat does.)

Coffee Tea or Secret Chiefs

Sorry Nick, my Secret Chief passport expired.

So it is now down to the wire for the Secret Chiefs to show up and shoot Nick Farrell with large amounts of lightning bolts for being so ballsy that he challenged them to show up and smite him dead. As for my Secret Chiefs (aka my cats), their passports are expired and they think that I should front their travel expenses, and quite honestly they believe that Nick Farrell might kiss dogs with that mouth of his, so he will have to just go unblessed by their presence.

Now, exactly what does the results of this challenge prove? (Provided that the Secret Chiefs do not show up at the last second just to annoy me by making me rewrite this blog post.)

One, it proves that some people do not believe that the Secret Chiefs are physical beings who are hard-wired into the Golden Dawn tradition. And they will continue to thumb their noses at anyone who claims contact with the physical Secret Chiefs--including citing this challenge as proof that the Secret Chiefs are not physical beings.

Two, it proves that some other people will continue to believe that their leader is the only person enlightened enough to deal with the Secret Chiefs despite the lack of any witnesses to their existence outside their own leader's best friends and wife. And they are really good at explaining away all reasonable doubt that the lack of independent evidence causes--there are a few churches that wish for that level of pure faith in their followers.

Wait a second--didn't we already know this before this challenge was issued?! My cats could have told you this, and they are too lazy to do the proper Grade signs. In other words, one group will continue to say that the Secret Chiefs are not physical beings while the other group will claim that everyone else is too unwashed to be blessed by their presence. Status quo remains the same.

Me and the Secret Chiefs

The Secret Chiefs have awesome super-powers. Honest, Mathers said so.

I would be amiss in my duties as a wise-cracking Golden Dawn commenter if I did not at least write something about the Secret Chiefs before the August 5th deadline for them to meet Nick Farrell. So here goes.

Most of my readers know that I joke about cats being the Secret Chiefs. Yet in my honest opinion, cats are as reasonable as Secret Chiefs as every other claim I have ever heard for them (Secret Chiefs, that it). I mean cats want your attention only when it is convenient for them, and they tend to be rather close lipped about what they actually know, and they insist that your house belongs to them without them doing a lick of work, and they spend a lot of time on the astral...sounds like a Secret Chief to me.

I came to the conclusion that I would rather have cats as my Secret Chiefs after many, many encounters with people claiming to be the Secret Chiefs, or claiming to be the gate-keeper for the Secret Chiefs, or claiming to channel the Secret Chiefs. Yes, I have dealt with people who claimed astral and physical Secret Chief contacts--sometimes in the exact same breath--if not, outright claiming to be Secret Chiefs themselves. I have been given information from the Secret Chiefs, and I have read lessons and new regulations that they have given their chosen mouthpieces. And honestly, my cats make more sense as they run around the house at four in the morning chasing a moth.

On top of this, I have dollop of talent as a medium. I had whole conversations with people that I do not remember; I have written papers that I do not remember writing; I have told people what was about to happen in the tone of someone terribly amused about how tiny human beings are. Hell, on that basis alone, I could be the mouthpiece and gatekeeper for the Secret Chiefs. A modified Drawing Down ritual and a loud set of drums, and I would be good to go.

(Yes, I am a Wiccan who knows how to do a Drawing Down...or is that a witch, or is that a Satanist...I am a little behind in reading the latest conspiracy theories about my so-called Masters.)

And in all this time, I have not seen anything that makes me think that the Secret Chiefs are the crowning development and guiding force behind the esoteric Orders (and its occult traditions) and history itself. In fact, the information given seem only as good as the person that is doing the talking for them. The concept of the Secret Chief seems to be more of a working tool for controlling groups and bull-shitting information than a hard reality that can be tested and measured without having to resort to blind faith and obedience.

This is why I will never believe in the validity of Secret Chief claims or demands. It would take some super-duper esoteric secrets to even get me to entertain the notion that a claim was true. The proof would have to top everything that I have ever seen and heard, plus would have to withstand a heavy background check to ensure that the information did not came out of a forgotten book or manuscript in some backwater library.

So despite the fact that some people insist that I am missing the boat by not believing in the real Secret Chiefs behind the esoteric tradition, I will stick to listening to my cats. If nothing else, I like them better than anyone I have even met that claimed access to the Secret Chiefs and their teachings.

Nick Farrell challenges the Secret Chiefs to a duel!

I suspect that the Secret Chiefs are too lazy to go to an important meeting.

The big news of the week is that Nick Farrell has challenged the Secret Chiefs to a duel. Go on, read his challenge to them (right here at this link). I will wait until you are back. You are back. See, I told you that Nick challenged the Secret Chiefs to a duel.

What do you mean?! That is not a duel challenge...are you sure? Because it sounds like one to me.

And we all know what is going to happen--no Secret Chief is going to show up to chat with Nick. Because he is a secret dog lover. I mean you can't have a real conversation with someone that is guilty of kissing dogs. (And this explanation of why the Secret Chiefs did not show up might not be the most silly one that results from this challenge...if you see a sillier one, please post the link in the comment section for my readers to amuse themselves with.) Seriously, my cats are too lazy to go prove to Nick Farrell that they are also his superiors; besides his head would explode being in the presence of so much cuteness.

Now, seriously, seriously, the problem is that Nick Farrell wants what he considers true independent verification of the existence of the Secret Chiefs. Independent as in not coming directly from the mouth of a gatekeeper, or from the people that the gatekeeper has blessed with their teachings.

The closest that Nick is ever going to get on that front is one gatekeeper declaring another gatekeeper a villain, and electing themselves as the one true gatekeeper to the Secret Chiefs.

This is the closest we ever got of independent proof of their existence.

Go though the historical records of the Secret Chiefs, including the primary documents being generated by the current round of gatekeepers and supporters, and all that you will find is declarations by gatekeepers that they are the one true link to the Secret Chiefs, advertising endorsements by their followers, symbolic and un-provable theories about why the Secret Chiefs only reveal themselves to the gatekeepers, declarations that other gatekeepers are frauds and liars and that the accuser is the only true gatekeeper (or at least, their close personal friend), and attempts to use the idea of the Secret Chiefs and connections to them as a means to control members of esoteric societies.

We would be better off if the whole lot of them just sat down and played a game of Magic the Gathering to figure out who was the gatekeeper of the hour was.

As for instruction being proof, that requires an element of faith even if the material is completely new and unknown. I have seen too many con-artists use the Secret Chiefs and secret knowledge as proof, and then use this proof to justify the mistreatment of the membership of their groups. I have in the past been presented with "new" information to prove the Secret Chiefs, only to later discover the same information in a relatively unknown document.

Of course, that type of experience is why even if the Secret Chiefs (in human or astral form) showed up on my doorstep, I would not believe and trust their information and stories completely. Basically, I am a happy little cynic that mistrusts everyone to a lesser or greater extent.


Of course, when I think of dueling, I think Magic the Gathering.

[Update--July 25 2013: Interesting note about the picture in the middle--the official statement (by DG) is that Jean Pascal Ruggui made the statement in error (and removed his statement at the request of the Secret Chiefs...it took them a month to make the request, I guess), and at the time one of the Secret Chiefs was living at Griffin's house transmitting the supplemental traditional Golden Dawn teachings and magic, of which the 0=0 level was transmitted at the April 2013 International Golden Dawn Festival. The Secret Chief had spent four months at Griffin's house doing this work. Griffin was unable to admit this openly until July 25, 2013 when the Secret Chief left for Europe. What is most interesting about this statement is the fact that one of the Secret Chiefs was in the United States, living with Griffin at the time of the conference and no one met them other than Griffin and his wife. I guess that is why Hathoor Temple used to say that a Secret Chief could even be a Neophyte (because you think that the other attendees would have figured out that the person was a Secret Chief if they did not come across as a complete knee-biting Neophyte). I also guess that Secret Chiefs are immune to assassination and death because we all know that Griffin had numerous death threats in the last year, and quite frankly the thought of living with him and his wife for four months gives me a bad case of the screaming willies.]

Rejects and Believers

One of the things that one currently sees in the Golden Dawn blogosphere is a relatively complete rejection of Secret Chiefs by one GD camp, and an absolute total acceptance of Secret Chiefs by another GD camp.

The Rejects generally view the stories told by Mathers and others about being in contact with the Secret Chiefs to be so much myth-making on the part of Mathers and later leaders trying to justify why they should be given total control of the Golden Dawn.

The Believers believe that Golden Dawn is only real and true when it answers to someone who claims to be the mouthpiece of the Secret Chiefs; and this justifies all actions that leader and their group takes, however dubious those actions are.

And both sides point to the stories that Mathers told about the Secret Chiefs as their primary evidence. Secondary evidence takes the form of the teachings that Mathers and later Golden Dawn leaders have installed into the system.

As a historian, I note that Mathers changed his story as time went by--therefore I consider all parts of his story and claims suspect. As an Adept, I note that the Rebels in the original Order did not care that Mathers was in contact with Secret Chiefs and chose to break off anyways--therefore I conclude that the information that Mathers was giving them was not enourgh to put up with his behavior. As a human being, the fact that Mathers was fooled by Madame Horos and Aleister Crowley makes me think that Mathers wasn't the brightest apple in the barrel.

This opinion will get me called an evil historian, a false Adept, and an anonymous troll by the Believers. The Rejects will notice that there is a cat in my lap as I write this post. The evidence doesn't actually matter--only my unfavorable opinions and the presence of the cat will determine what you think of me. Such is the politics of the modern day Golden Dawn and its representatives.

No such thing as secrecy

Besides the two extremes of the secrecy spectrum and the numerous points between the two extremes, there is also a point that is completely off of the spectrum. And that is the position that there is no such thing as "esoteric secrets."

This is not the same as believing that all the secrets can be told because the true esoteric secret lays in the experience and work.

No, this is a belief that all the esoteric secrets are "artificial" and merely exist to control the membership of a secret society. In other words, the esoteric secrets that an initiate is sworn to maintain are merely to conceal the fact that a leader(s) is using the secret society for another purpose...think conspiracy, sex, and money.

Now, one can believe in the esoteric secrets and still think that someone at the top of the pyramid is misusing their membership. Both the believer and the non-believer in esoteric secrets will admit that secrets are wonderful way to keep members in a group. The difference is that the non-believer in esoteric secrets believes that all secrecy is bad while the esoteric believer will argue that perhaps even a mis-ran group can lead to some good if it actually has a few real esoteric secrets in it.

An important question that every member of a secret society has to answer for themselves is: Does the benefit of the esoteric secrets one is given outweigh all the grief that one has to put up with in order to recieve them?

The Lesser Elvis Banishing Ritual of the Sequined Pentagram

According to legend, the folowing ritual was received by the Superiorly Honored Jaye while scrying into the shiny black of a vinyl Elvis record. When I asked one of the Secret Chiefs about it, they told me---Meow! Initiates of Singing Order of the Revived Elvis do this ritual slightly differently to reflect the mysteries of their esteemed Order.

The purpose of this ritual is clear the area of all Elvis-negative influences. This includes all that not patriotic and all that is not of White Trash at heart.

Begin by facing in the direction of Graceland. For easy reference, we shall call this East.

1.Visualize the infinitely bright light of a Las Vegas spotlight descending upon you.

2.Draw this Holy Light into your head, intoning: LOVE ME

3.Point downward, hand over… personal privates…, intoning: TENDER

4.Point to right shoulder. LOVE ME

5.Point to left shoulder. TRUE

This is the Holy Cross of Elvis. Conclude by saying: “Uh-huh”.

1.Facing East (Graceland), draw a bright, blue, sequined pentagram in the air. Be sure to visualize the light reflecting off of the shimmering sequins. Intone: Ehhhh

2.Repeat step six to the south. Intone: Lllll

3.To the west, intone: Vihhhhh

4.To the north, intone: ssssss

Between each of the above steps, you should make part of a circle connecting each pentagram. This circle should be made of the Light of the Holy Las Vegas Spotlight.

Imagine yourself bathed in the Holy Vegas Light. Face Graceland.

1.Before you, imagine Elvis as a baby, containing his True Elvis Potential. This is the Elvis of Air. Say: ELVIS, thou who were born a King in Lowly Surroundings. Fulfil your potential. Be present with me today.

2.Behind you, imagine the young man Elvis, on the brink of Stardom. This is the Elvis of Water. Say: ELVIS, thou who art about to realize your Kingliness among men. Fulfil that Potential. Be with me today.

3.To your right, imagine Elvis in the prime of his career, when he was making movies and the like. He thrusts his pelvis suggestively. This is the Elvis of Fire. Say: ELVIS, thou who art leading us to Light. Be with me today.

4.To your left, imagine Elvis in his Las Vegas stage. He wears sunglasses and is slightly pudgy. This is the Elvis of Earth. Say: ELVIS, thou who didst die on the pot of an overdose. Be with me today.

Repeat the Holy Cross of Elvis. Thus ends the Ritual.

This ritual should be repeated daily. If you wish, you may use Elvis music in the background to aid your concentration. If you have an altar, it should contain a Microphone Wand, a Microphone-Stand Dagger, an Elvis “45 Disc, and small porcelain toilet (Chalice).

May the Holy Light of Las Vegas Shine within you.

Love is the Law. Love under Rock & Roll.

The Official BIORC stance on Secret Chiefs

Another thing I realized reading the internet today is given the wide views about the Secret Chiefs, that it would be useful for some to know the official Bast Temple (BIORC) stance on Secret Chiefs. Straight from the bylaws of the group, we have:

The lodge does not recognize the authority of the Secret Chiefs. The Secret Chiefs have been used to justify the abuse of power and authority in other groups. If the Secret Chiefs do contact a member of the lodge (Order), we will try to keep an open mind, but their suggestions and commands will not become law in the lodge unless approved by the voting members of the lodge. (Passed on 16 Sept 2001.)

By the way, this was in the bylaws long before any Bast Temple member heard of David Griffin.

And that is all the Bast Temple officially says about the Secret Chiefs. Sad, isn't it? You would think that we would be knee-deep in lore about the Secret Chiefs---after all, the Secret Chiefs have been behind all the important stuff in the system. But no, we merely note that we do not recognize their authority.

After I leave, I imagine that the bylaw will be rewritten to include "their representatives from other Orders." I will be the last member of the BIORC that Griffin can use the "your fellow members must be upset at your actions towards me and my Order" ploy against.

A computer could write this blog

The Secret Chiefs of the Golden Dawn will see you now.

I am a writer---I think that most of my readers know this. And I read lots of blogs, including some in the publishing/writing field. Today, I was reading a blog post over on Galleycat about how Forbes has joined the horde of 30 companies now using the Narrative Science software to write their stories.

(Yes, I have decided that a group of 30 companies is a horde. It is either a horde or a government. And either way, you are probably not going to like what they are doing.)

Anyway, I find myself wondering if I could be replaced by a computer program. Could a computer write this blog? Would you be able to tell the difference?

And in my case, yes---a computer could write as intelligently as I do; after all, most of my jokes are not funny. Just throw in a whining attitude and a few cat photos and BLAM! you would not be able to tell the difference.

Come to think of it, there are several other bloggers you could replace with a whiny attitude and a few pictures. No names mentioned---you know who they are. Heck, the entire esoteric blogosphere could be replaced by a machine. It is not like you cannot predict what various bloggers and commenters are going to say. It can't be that hard to program a computer to do the writing instead. For that matter, we could replace all those pesky Secret Chiefs with a computer too---it is not like most of us would know the difference provided that they continued to take our money.

Don't believe me?! Just think about the number of books that you have read that are just rip-offs of Agrippa, Regardie or Crowley. Think of the number of Golden Dawn websites that are just clones of these writers. (I am beginning to believe that Agrippa is the most pirated occult writer in history.)

And the critics of this cloning---the Secret Restoration Crowd---who argue that we must change everything, so that everything is absolutely secret, you have read their posts also, right? You can predict what they are going to say next, right?

See, we could all be replaced with computers, the entire occult blogosphere. And given the amount of time that some of us spend on this stuff, we should really encourage someone to write a computer program to replace us. I wonder if I could raise money on Kickstarter to do this project.

Most anonymous blogs could be written by machines.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain

As many of my regular readers know, I am working on getting my Bachelors in History (as well as a Bachelors in Literature). This semester, I am doing my Senior Seminar (capstone) for history. Yes, I am one of those evil people who is trained as a historian (and have enourgh experience with journalism and oral story telling to be leery of the oral tradition), and therefore have no place studying the history of Golden Dawn and the other esoteric Orders. It is a good thing that I am more interested in studying other branches of history, isn't it?

For my Senior Seminar paper, I am working with the papers of Denver Mayor William McNichols that are part of the Denver Public Library's Western History collection. I am focused on Civil Defense. Therefore I am reading a lot of government memos and letters.

One of the things that I have learned going though the McNichols papers is that a lot of letters supposely written by the Denver Mayor were not created by him; they merely bear his signature. Last night, I was reading a reply to a letter sent from one of the many cities who were interested in getting a copy of the "Denver Plan." (Denver's Civil Defense over time became more focued on dealing with all types of emergencies, not just nuclear strikes---riots, extreme weather, airplane crashes, etc.) And in the course of the request, the person requesting the information (to be used as a "model example" of an emergency plan) told the Mayor how proud the city and county of Denver should be to have Colonel Allen as Director of the local Civil Defense. The person preparing the Mayor's reply (writing as if he was Mayor McNichols) said that he would be sure to pass the compliment onto Colonel Allen.

The punchline is that the person preparing the draft copy was Colonel Allen himself.

And what does this have to do with Golden Dawn? Absolutely nothing...unless you are like me and wonder how often a reply from a Secret Chief is actually written by someone else. As I said, being actually trained as a historian makes me unsuitable to study the history of Golden Dawn and other esoteric Orders.

When to toss traditional lore out

This Viper needs to be taken to the curb.

Something that every working magician will eventually have to wrestle with is the question: When do you toss a piece of lore out of one's system?

(By "working magician," I mean those people who get up off the sofa and spend time actually casting spells and performing magic, rather than just reading about it.)

Now in the traditional hierarchies, the answer is: When your superiors tell you to. Therefore, First Order is ordered by Second Order when to abandon lore and procedures; and in return, Second Order is guided by the Third Order (Secret Chiefs). This answer is all and fine, provided that you are actually in a Strict Obedience/Observance Order, and are willing to take orders.

But most working magicians, or at least the ones that I have dealt with, tend to be lousy at taking orders. And most Strict Observance Orders will rapidly kick out or lose their working magicians. The reason for this is that experience quite often conflicts with "authorized lore" and most Strict Observance are knee-deep in the idea that "authorized lore" is the best, and sometimes only, way to accomplish magical goals.

A few years ago, I was present when a new Strict Observence Order was being started. One day, the subject of Atlantis came up. I stated my opinion that Atlantis was one of those pieces of lore that needed to be kicked to the curb. The leader of the group flatly told me that I was wrong because the GH Frater S used Atlantis in his lessons, therefore it was tradition and had to be included in the system. At this point, I started to look for the escape pod.

(No, I did not leave just over the fact that Atlantis was being included in the system; there was also plenty of administration issues that made me want to bail out of the system.)

Now, in my case, I had good reasons to bolt over the issue of Atlantis. In an earlier group, I had seen the concept of Atlantis being used, and watched the group jump off the rails. Fortunately, there was a working magician at the helm, who rapidly pulled the plug before the group became an outright doomsday cult. Nevertheless, it permanently associated Atlantis with the rancid smell of some lesser evil in my mind.

And unlike the leader, who insisted that I was wrong, I actually had spent some time researching the importance that was attached to Atlantis down though the years. Atlantis was a footnote in Greek mythology and philosophy, something ignored by the esoteric tradition for over two thousand years. It wasn't until the question of why there was similar animals in the New World, as well as human beings and those pesky pyramids arose that Atlantis was dug out of the rubbish bin.

(We all know that human beings have to be told about the concept of stacking rocks on top of one another---it is not like the idea naturally occurs to us when we have plenty of rocks and spare labor at hand.)

Today, we do not need Atlantis to explain the fact that there was plants and animals common to both the Old World and the New World. But there are people who insist that Atlantis cannot be taken out to the rubbish bin...because it is now a part of the official authorized esoteric lore.

(Here is a mystery for you---given the fact that Atlantis was so advanced [the last time I checked they supposely had atomic bombs and lasers, and next year they will be credited with time machines, stargates and warp drives], why haven't we found any plastic from their civilization?)

The bugbear of official authorized lore drives working magicians up the wall. Start talking to people about how to accomplish a magical task, and one finds themselves judged by what the authorized lore says. It does not matter whether or not your method actually works; what matters is whether some old grimoire or famous occult writer agrees with you and your method.

(By the way, working magicians presume if you cite authorized lore as your twenty-four inch rule and do not ask the "special" question that you are not a working magician. And all working magicians know what the special question is.)

There are a whole bunch of occult writers who have been enshrined---some of them are still alive (I hope that they are horrified that they have been enshrined because if they are not horrified, then they are not actually working magicians). A few years ago, I remember a great fuss was being made over this one book (it does not matter which one). At the time, I had no opinion of the book; it wasn't one that I ever worked with. Later on, I did work with the book---if the material was copied, it worked just fine---if it was unique, well, it sucked rocks on toast. The book was enshrined as the only way to accomplish certain things; and quite honestly based on my own results, I doubt that anyone who was busy talking about how great the book was, actually used any of the unique material in the book. In the end, I used other methods to accomplish the same goals.

And yes, I know, I know---just because the material did not work for me does not mean that it was not the proper way to do things. After all, we all know that I am complete and utter plotz without no respect for traditional and properly authorized esoteric lore. But I am a working magician, and the method I use to determine if some lore or magical prodecure remains in my tool box is RESULTS. If it does not work for me, I take it out to the curb and leave it by the rubbish bin. Of course, that habit makes me very unwelcome in the Strict Observance to the Shrine of Official Authorized Occult Lore circles. But that is ok, I prefer to do my drinking in the company of working magicians.

Cipher Mix

As I noted in yesterday's disclosure update, one of the things that we have learned this past year is that European Third Order cut contact with the Golden Dawn/Alpha and Omega/RR et AC because they learned (though the publishing of the Golden Dawn and Inner Order material by Crowley) that Mathers had gone too far in the blending and mixing of egregores that were never met to be mixed to the extent that the Z documents instructs. (Why they did not know this information sooner is a mystery of occult history.)

Looking over the Cipher Manuscript, the outline of the Outer Order rituals, I can see why Mathers and Westcott thought it was ok to mix egregores and lores. Here is a brief list of all the various systems and egregores that the Cipher Manuscript has in it.

Enochian system of Dee and Kelley [British occultism]
Latin Grade mystic titles [German Rosicrucian]
Signs, passwords and Grade sashes [Freemasonry]
Admission badges [SRIA]
Samothracian Kabric lore
Hebrew, Latin and Greek (besides the Enochian and English) languages
Pillars with Egyptian figures on them [Tablet of Isis or the Book of the Dead]
Eleusinian Mysteries lore [Greek]
Prayer from the Divine Pymander of Hermes Trismegistus [Hermetica]
Grimoric Tradition lore [Medieval and Renaissance occult lore]
The Chaldean Oracles [Zoroaster]
Kamea of the planets/sephiroth
Elemental Prayers [Mathers and Westcott used the same ones that Levi did]
Biblical quotes
Kabbalah [Jewish mysticism]
Christian mysticism
English occult writings
Elemental Pentagram key
System of correspondences
Aesh Mezareph [Christian-Jewish alchemical synthesis]
Laboratory alchemy
Religious alchemy
Philosophical alchemy
Natural alchemy [these last three are mentioned as different things]
Osiris and the three animal forms of Western cardinal signs

I am probably missing a couple---if so, just note the missing ones in the comment section.

Specific examples of blending (both in the Cipher Manuscript and lecture/ritual workups):

Westcott wrote his notes using a mixture of languages and ciphers.

Temple name tradition drew from Freemasonry, Roman and Eygpt lore.

Westcott's official history lecture mentions Eliphaz Levi [French occultism], Kenneth Mackenzie [English Freemasonry and RC] and Frederick Hockley [a crystal gazer].

The Tarot is associated with both Egyptian lore and the Kabbalah. Furthermore, the Tarot is associated with the Hebrew alphabet [Kabbalah] and astrology.

Geomancy is associated with astrology and Tree of Life.

Alchemy is associated with the Tree of Life.

(It is a small step, or mistake if you believe the Third Order, to associate alchemy with geomancy, astrology and the Tarot.)

Perhaps the biggest blending of egregores is the Khabs Am Pekht, Konx Om Pax, Light In Extension, which blends Egyptian, Greek and English mysteries.

And this leads me to the conclusion that either the European Third Order failed to see the potential logical extension trap of their Cipher Manuscript; or that the Cipher Manuscript has nothing to do with the Third Order that Mathers had contact with. Their blaming Mathers for making a logical extension of what was contained in the Cipher Manuscript is much like handing someone a loaded gun and then blaming them for shooting someone. One can only imagine what the Third Order thinks of my own work which includes work with the Norse runes and Reiki, as well as Wiccan mysteries. Needless to say, no one has to worry about the Third Order inviting me into their ranks---I embrace the blending of egregores with far too much gusto.

Growing abyss between schools of thought

One of the trends that I noticed over the past year is the growing abyss between various schools of thought. In US politics, the gap has grown so wide that I foresee nothing but badness occuring in the upcoming Presidental election (it is the rich and the poor brainwashed by the rich vs. the poor). In paganism, there is growing gap between those building on the past and those building on the concept that it is a newly invented religion. In Wicca, the gap between the secret coven members and the public anything goes witchcraft continues to widen.

What all these situations have in common is that the differences of opinion, perhaps the very bedrock of ideas that the schools of thought are built upon,are creating differences in the language being used so wide that clear communication is being blocked. This communication gap may or may not being
 intentional.

This type of situation is also occuring in Golden Dawn. For years, we have suffered from the difference between the self-initiates and the classically trained and initiated Temple (lodge) members. Golden Dawn has always lost a certain number of people to the fact that active Golden Dawn lodges are hard to find. The couple of work-arounds that has been developed to address the problem are highly questioned in a few quarters.

And for several years, we have seen the growing abyss between Robert Zink and certain members of his Order. This spring, it finally broke the EOGD into two camps; and earlier this month, it became three camps. It looked like a repeat of the Revolt of the Adepts for awhile there.

Then we have the latest and greatest difference of opinion to develop in the Golden Dawn community. There has been a growing abyss growing between the European school of Golden Dawn and those schools that originated elsewhere in the world.

The primary issue is whether or not to accept the existence of an European Third Order---acceptance of such implies that you are willing to follow their public Head and spokesperson, are willing to increase your level of secrecy to the point where all published material are no longer considered valid (including the Mathers material) and all the rituals and lessons have been rewritten to re-install absolute secrecy, and are willing to be expelled if one of your fellow lodge members breaks their secrecy oath. Acceptance also implies that all modern developments of the Golden Dawn system (aka any that developed after the Cipher Manuscript) will someday be abandoned.

Ok, maybe it is not that severe...but given the fact that no one (outside of a couple of selected spokepeople) are able to talk about what is going on in that camp---well, one can only imagine what is really going on.

What one does not need to imagine is the lack of communication between the two schools. For the person who does not keep track of such things, here is the scorecard: The European school insists that all modern developments (before 1888) of Golden Dawn are wrong (including Mathers) and that Golden Dawn needs to be restructured according to the precepts of the original parent organization---all statements of the modern school are labeled flame attacks. The modern school insists that the original parent organization does not exist and has never existed, and that it is a shell game to conceal who is really the Head of the European school---furthermore, the modern school is slightly upset that all new developments must generally be abandoned to return the system to its 17th century glory.

Ok, maybe it is not that severe...but both sides refuse to communicate with the other party until they agree to play by their rules.

Of course, this scorecard summary ignores those of us who believe that the Golden Dawn developed from an earlier system, but that contact with Third Order was broken for so long that the modern Golden Dawn does not have to answer to the European Third Order---in other words, we have been separate systems for a long time and no longer have much in common. To reunite the two schools means destorying one of them---someone has to lose in order for there to be a reunification.

Now, the big question is do I foresee this abyss of difference, and the lack of communication between the schools, going away any time soon? No. In fact, at the point of time, I foresee the pagans, the Wiccans (and witches), and the American political system healing their differences long before the European and global Golden Dawn communities heal theirs.

12 Days of Christmas Kitties Bonus Kitty 5

My cat's favorite Christmas carol.

This is the Christmas Kitty that caused me to inflict a bunch of funny cat pictures on you this holiday season. It reminds me so much of one of the cats that I own---or does he own me? This morning, my wife gave him a new toy and within a couple of hours, he had destoryed it. I am quite sure that if we got a Xmas tree that he would remove most of the ornaments before the day was done. Nevertheless, I do love my wild rescue cat. And with this picture, we close out another holiday season---next on the Gleamings from the Golden Dawn is a series of posts that will be labeled annoying and trollish. Ye have been warned.