Wednesday, August 3, 2016

OMG Trump hair survived

A month ago, I made a video of "A witch binds Trump in a bizarre witchcraft ritual"--it is how I chose to celebrate the Fourth of July...because dammit! freedom of speech and religion are two things that the Constitution promises me. The ritual consisted of me reading a short little statement about how I was binding him in the name of Wicca, especially in the name of any witches that he would like to burn. Yes, I thought it was ironic to use a poppet and fire to perform this ritual, given that statement, and the likelihood that President-for-Life Trump might turn us all into piles of radioactive ash; but hey, if one can't use irony in one's work, where can one use it.

My video got some witches upset. Some of which declared that they were going to send protection energies to Trump, so that the binding would not work....I guess some people are really looking forward to Trump trashing the economy, expelling all the Muslims, suspending the Constitution, ignoring basic human rights, and nuking the entire planet back into the Stone Age.

Other commenters declared that I only wanted attention...well, yes, I am a blogger, writer, and artist--of course, I want attention---and I am guessing that they did not realize that making comments about me is a form of attention.

Of course, the comments that made me laugh the most were the ones that complained about my voice. I went though twelve years of speech therapy as a kid, so just imagine what my voice was like when I was younger. And if you have to resort to making fun of my voice....well, I am guessing that you are struggling to come up with a reason why this video was wrong.

But never fear ye who would like to see Trump press all the Big Red Buttons and ensure that he is the last President that you will ever need, Trump survived the binding.

Or at least, his hair did. Yep, that is right---the binding failed to destroy his hair. And I used plenty of the hex-master secret weapon--lighter fluid. I always said that the thing on his head was an evil entity controlling him; and hey, you can't prove me wrong.

Here is all the proof you need that Trump hair can survive anything.

Of course, his hair would survive.
I discovered this unburnt piece of the Trump poppet when I went to clean out the BBQ grill.

Opps, it did not all burn.
This can't be good, can it?
So rejoice all ye who want to see Trump become President-for-Life, and have him completely rewrite the Constitution to ensure that only angry white men are allowed to live in the United States, to work in the USA, and to have a voice in how the USA does things--his hair, the most important part of him survived to insult you another day.

Grab your popcorn and watch as Trump expels all Muslims, shoots all Mexicans, sends all the blacks back to Africa, helps South Korea invade China, nukes Israel, and ensures that the American economy becomes the worst in the world with his brand new taxes that will only be paid by poor people because the poor are losers, and it does not matter if you tax the poor (yes, I know he says businesses will pay the taxes, but you how do you think they are going to get the money to do so---yes, that's right---the rich are going to take the money from your wallet). Just remember if you are a veteran, a family member of a veteran, not white, handicapped in any way, a member of the media (who will be sued for all their money before being shot dead in the face), a non-Christian, you are probably a loser. And if you are poor (not a member of the 1%), you are definitely a loser, and it is ok for the winners (the 1%) to enslave and kill you at their leisure.

Because there ain't nothing killing his hair. All hail President-for-Life Trump!--the last President you will ever need.

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