Tuesday, September 19, 2017

The Zombie Election that will not go away (Hillary is still questioning 2016 election results)

During the 2016 Presidential campaign, I made a joke that if Donald Trump lost the election that he would take it to court, and keep suing until the challenge went all the way to the Supreme Court of the United States. Like most of my satirical jokes, I was basing it on the behavior of the people I was watching and picking the most interesting thing that could not possibly happen in real life--this is the same technique that my friends keep yelling at me to quit using...because I have a bad tendency to get things right.

In case of this joke, I seem to have been right...but not in the way that I told the joke.

Clippy is here to help you!
So what did I get wrong?

Well, the most obvious is that Donald "Jesus" Trump won. But in my defense, I been predicting that he would win the rest of the time (something I said would happen for several years previous to the 2016 campaign)--this joke was a "what-if he doesn't actually win" one-off joke--you know the type of joke you make to illustrate that perhaps no one should be voting for the man in the first place.

Outside of the obvious, I was right.

How so?

Well, we have watched Trump deny that the Russians helped him, deny that his campaign (including family members) had any contact with the Russians, deny that he ever had business dealings with the Russians, and generally deny that the Russians had a significant influence on the results of the election. To this day, he walks around with a color coded maps, giving them out to people that he wants to impress, and brags about having the biggest election landslide in history...outside of the four million dead illegally voting zombies that were all Democrats, thank you very much!

Trump had even tried to crush investigations that would prove that the Russians "might have had something to do" with the election results by firing, and threatening to fire people, issuing denials; and even writing statements for his family claiming that his family cannot locate Russia on a map, not alone actually find a Russian to talk to during the campaign. 

All in all, Trump is still trying to prove that he legitimately won the election.

But wait, it gets better...

....in that Zombie Apocalypse type of way that just fills your heart with boyish glee about how f***ed up our world really is--you know the type of stuff that makes you look forward to the Zombie Apocalypse because people keep insisting on making reality stranger than any of the satire one has ever read or hopes to write.

I am starting to look forward to the Zombie Apocalypse.
Turns out that I was right that the loser would spend a lot of time challenging the results of the election.

And I do mean a lot of time challenging the results of the election.

Where to f***ing begin?

How about with the bit that ticked me off the most...

...Bernie Sanders should not have campaigned for the office of President as a Democrat because he wasn't interested in making sure that a Democrat won--no, all he wanted to do was shake things up--Bad Bernie!!!

For the record, I was a Bernie Sanders supporter because....I thought that he was a better choice than the other choices. Or because I am an evil Communist loving witch--either story works.

No, I was not a Hillary Clinton supporter beyond the simple fact that I hoped that I was wrong about people in dusty empty countries flocking to vote for Trump, and that she would get enough votes to win...mainly because I assumed that Trump would continue to act like a reality TV star who was more concerned about his ratings than actually doing a decent job as President. Every morning when I read his Trump-Tweet-Rant, I am reminded that I was totally correct in my assumption of his Presidential ability. I figured that the same-old-same-old was better than "Oh my god, we are all going to die because Trump decided to use nukes on a sanctuary city, just to prove that illegal immigration and pot smoking must be ended at all costs!"

Yes, I wanted to see Trump defeated. But I was a Bernie supporter at heart to the very end and beyond.

Mainly because despite the same-old-same-old being better than midnight Rage Tweeting and atomic bomb launching, I am not particularly happy with everything that the Democratic Party does. Yes, that is right; I believe that the Democratic Party needs a good shakeup to bring it up to date.

I think Hillary Clinton just said that Bernie Sanders had no business running as a Democrat.
But that is not going to happen anytime soon.

As evidenced by the amount of praise that Hillary Clinton has for the Democratic party.

[For the record, I have only read bits and pieces of Hillary's book. You know the bits and pieces that made their way onto Facebook. If someone has a copy that they want to send me, feel free to mail it to: Mad Uncle Morgan, 2727 N. Cook St., Denver, CO 80205. After all, I might be wrong in believing that it should have been entitled: "Why I Really Won the Election, and Twitter Fingers is a Fake President.]

Based on what I read on Facebook, it seems that the only person not responsible for her loss was Hillary Clinton.

This is despite fumbles like telling coal workers that their jobs were not coming back, instead of saying, "Green Energy is going to require millions, if not billions, of batteries, and you will get jobs building batteries for Green Energy." 

[As I said, I have not read the book. If you think that I am really wrong here, send me a copy. And I will blog about the book after I read it...because that is what I do--blog about stuff that makes me upset. If you think that I am right, and want to see my head explode, again, send me a copy...because that is what I do--blog about stuff that makes me upset.]

But I was comforted by this not being a court case...beyond the whole Russian interference investigation that looks like a express ride to whatever circle of Hell Richard Nixon is trapped in.

Or I was until a little while ago.

For those of you who not heard her interview on NPR, or have not read the transcript, you may want to: Here is a link to the transcript...

...because I would hate for you not to know why I am losing my mind here.

Here is the section of the interview that annoying me.
So first, the Electoral College, while little understood, actually serves a function. And both parties have benefited from Electoral College wins. The Founding Fathers thought that if large urban populations were allowed to control the vote, no one would ever pay attention to the concerns (and votes) of farmers, small towns, and rural populations. Yes, it is an oddity of the American system, but it actually serves a purpose.

(Yes, I actually support the idea of the Electoral College--because I understand its true purpose.) 

Second, can you honestly tell me that she would be all gun-ho about investigating Russian interference if she suspected that the Russians had favored her? Maybe, it is just me--but I think that claim might be bovine end-product.

(Or maybe it is because I find Hillary Clinton's personality to be like course sandpaper. Quite frankly, I would rather have a Coca-Cola with Donald Trump than with Hillary Clinton. After all, I would actually have something that I could talk to him about while gushing sugary drinks--how to be a successful attention whore--I would so ask him for professional tips. Her...I can't think of anything off the type of my head that I would want to discuss with her that would be even remotely entertaining.)

Third, uh, you do know that there is a way to challenge the results of the election if there was sufficient levels of Russian interference? It won't overturn the election, but it will punish the guilty if they were part of Trump's campaign...and it is called Investigations.

I can understand why Hillary Clinton doesn't think there is a way...because there is no way that it results in her becoming President.

But the Founding Fathers provided us with a solution.

Now, I am not just talking about impeachment.Trump and company has more than just impeachment to worry about. For one, Donald Trump wants a second term...

(I do wonder how Hillary Clinton will explain Trump winning re-election. Yes, I still think that he is going to win a second term--I have yet to see anything crash and burn enough to keep him from winning a second term.)

...which means that he really needs there to be no evidence that links him directly to the Russians. Public opinion could hurt him--after all, Russia is one of our traditional enemies.

There is also the matter of the 2018 election. If public opinion washes out the Republicans, he will have less protection to stop an impeachment. And he might actually have to adopt a more moderate position, if the Republicans don't control the whole nine yards.

(By the way, the reason that I support the Global Binding Ritual and other forms of protest is that public opinion could swing against the Republicans, and force him to be the moderate I want as President...well, barring a socialist shake-up of the system--while I would like a socialist in the office, I am willing to accept a middle-of-the-road moderate.)

There is also his place in history, Trump wants a place in history--he wants to be a great President. If enough evidence comes out, even if nothing else happens, his place in history will be...well, Richard Nixon might not be the worst President in US history.

And the cherry on top...there is nothing preventing law enforcement from charging him for crimes committed before he became President after he leaves office. The Founding Fathers did not close that loophole, outside of Presidential pardon power.

So despite what she says, there are ways that the results of the election still could be judged against Trump being the real victor. Trump could still pay a heavy price for his "Russia, if you are listening, please find her emails" plea.

The reason that Hillary can't see them is that none of them results in her being President. 

1 comment:

Imperator David Griffin said...

OK. I admit you are a great writer. You even manage to make Hillary's constant whining about losing Trump's fault.
How do you pull this stuff off?