Monday, April 1, 2013

Happy April Fool's Day (Zealot's Dictionary Edition)

Happy April Fool's Day!!!

Originally, I made a video for today, but I decided that no one really wanted to watch it (too long and nothing but a pack of lies) instead, it is time for another addition of the Zealot's Dictionary.

Humility—the ability to say that you are the greatest at some endeavor, and that everyone should focus on that endeavor, while being able to say in the same breath that you are not claiming to be the best.

Diversity—something that everyone supports as long as everyone agrees that your opinion is absolutely the only right opinion.

Pride—the ability to fly too close to the sun after super-gluing feathers to your arms.

Ego—the inability to understand rational statements while lecturing people that your understanding of the issues is the only correct one. Ego also makes one believe that you are the only person who has done “hardcore” magical, exercise, and business techniques. Ego is the number one reason that people get assassinated. “Your Honor, the man’s ego was so big that I had to kill him with that tire."  

Watermelon—a fruit of the Citrullus Vulgaris plant. It has been sacrificed many times by people, often after being named after their favorite villain. Half-rotten watermelons have been placed in charge of governments, banks, churches, and esoteric Orders since the time of Adam and Eve, where their sickly sweetness convinces numerous people that they are not the evil buggers that the conspiracy theorists believe that they are.

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