Friday, September 27, 2013

Top twelve ways to annoy evil BNPs (and evil BNMs and evil BNWs and etc)

Admit to it. You want to annoy the evil BNPs (Big Name Pagans), evil BNMs (Big Name Magicians), and evil BNWs (Big Name Witches). But how to go about doing this? You can't honestly use the N-word and the S-word because 1) odds are that they will call you by those words first; 2) they might actually be members of the N-word and/or S-word; 3) and most importantly, you are a lady and/or gentleman, therefore you are more elegant and creative in the ways that you annoy people, especially evil people who deserve to be annoyed.

So here are the top twelve ways to annoy those evil BNPs, evil BNMs, and BNWs, without resorting to simple name-calling.

12. Give their books, videos, CDs, and other products the ratings and reviews that they so richly deserve.

The proper way to review a Big Name Author book is to see how badly it burns.
11. Openly admit to having faults--periodically embrace them and then regale the rest of us with tales about how far you are from being a perfected Living God.

(Regale! Regale! Regale! I just love how that word sounds, don't you?)

10. Take pleasure in the fact that you are a "troll" and/or a "truth hating" watchdog. After all, they are going to give you that merit badge, so you just as well sew it on to your Witch Scouts of the World sash with pride.

9. Be more entertaining and/or informative than they are.

8. Be immune to their superior magic and/or superpowers and/or super-logic and/or sex appeal.

7. Know your legal rights and responsibilities (aka know how to spot an empty legal threat).

6. Continue to believe that bad behavior by them is unacceptable despite their fame and/or superior position in the esoteric community and/or greater mental illness.

5. Be super polite to them while they are busy foaming at the mouth because you had the guts to point out the un-acceptableness of their behavior.

4. Openly mock their infinite wisdom. After all, every King and Queen deserves a court jester.

3. Take screenshots (and PDFs) of their dumbest statements; make sure their stupidity gets the exposure and/or fair it so richly deserves.

2. Openly state that you think that they are just a big bag of foul air.

And the number one way to annoy those pesky Big Name Pagans, Magicians, Witches, etc.:

*drum roll*

1. Continue breathing in and out.

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