Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Send more dildos Oregon militia pleads

The best type of mail to send to a militia.
Today, militia leader (I think that he is one of the leaders) Jon Ritzheimer posted a video about some of the more special pieces of mail that his militia has been recieving.

Link to video on Facebook (because I could not find an embeddable version of it). 

Now, for the one person who does not know what it happening, here is a bad recap.

A couple of weeks ago, a judge sentenced a rancher and his son to additional prison time. The rancher and his son had set a fire on Federal land, went to court, served some time, contested the charges, got released, and after running out all their legal options, they got sent back to jail because they served less than the mandatory five years for the crime. It does not matter whether you agree with why they sent the fire (the rancher claimed that it was a controlled burn that got out of control; some authorites are sure that it was actually set to cover up poaching), or how you feel about the Federal government owning a lot of wilderness that could be better used, according to ranchers and other business people, for ranching, lumber, and mining, instead of being preserved to save wildlife.

(My personal belief is that as a reincarnating witch, we need to protect the envirnoment because we will be forced to live with the mess we create in future lifetimes. And no, I do not believe that the goal is to get off of the wheel of reincarnation either. Yes, that makes me an evil witch.)

What matters is that the rancher and his son did not serve the minimum mandatory sentence for causing the fire. Basically, the law bit them in the ass.

Now, a militia showed up in Oregon to "protest" the injustice here, and argue that all Federal controlled lands should be given back to the American people to do what they want with them. In other words, fuck the birds, fuck the future generations of humanity, we are going to heaven and could care less about the earth as long as we can make a profit today. This militia also wants to overthrow the American government. In other words, the militia has guns; therefore, they should be the ones calling the shots.

A couple of days after the militia occuped some of this contested land, their leaders sent out a message that they had forgot to pack a few things. Like socks, underwear, mittens, toliet paper, and snacks. I kid you not. This well-regulated militia forgot to pack all the essentials and then some.

And they asked people to send them stuff.

Yes, they asked for people to send them care packages to help support their cause.

So now, that we have covered the backstory, let's consider the wisdom of sending out a plea for care packages.

One of the things that we try to teach people new to the occult is: Don't give out your mailing address!

Not only does giving out your mailing address puts your personal information at risk, it opens the door to recieving all types of weird stuff in your mailbox. If I wasn't a book and product reviewer, I would not share my address with the internet (my mailing address can be found on this blog if you look hard enough). Unfortunately, I do review physical products, therefore I have to share my mailing address.

But having dealt with this issue, I know that the militia was just asking for jokes.

I thought about sending the militia some old dog treats. Or maybe some used cat litter. In all fairness, I think that they are a batch of loons, and deserve odd stuff instead of snacks. Maybe if we send them dirty socks, they will be released from the spirit of the American dream of hoarding guns and liberating the people from the evil government.

Or we could just continue to send them dildos because their posting of this complaint about people wasting money on dildos, instead of spending their money on good purposes (aka sending them socks and snacks) is just begging people like me to send them more dildos.

No comments: