Sunday, February 19, 2017

Demon in charge of the universe (Death to the Great Gherkin)

Your average well-educated modern person ignores the world of the occult. This is probably for the best, for people who examine the world of the occult too closely sometimes start to notice the cracks in the foundation of the universe. These are not small cracks—no, they are the sort of cracks that tell you that there is a plan and purpose to the universe, but the shipping department of reality shows all the signs of being as efficient as your average overly endowed and underfunded governmental agency. Sure, there is someone in charge, but it is definitely not the figurehead that is placed upfront to take all the blame when things go wrong. The entity who is really in charge of the universe is very careful never to allow their name to be associated with any title that rhymes with “god.” And this entity is not only hidden, unreachable, petty, and maybe a little bit power drunk, they also fancy themselves as having a brutal sense of humor. And it is true, their sense of humor is brutal—it is just not generally understood by those who do not have a thousand consecutive years of magic, mediation and mysticism under their belts. This results in the universe occasionally working exactly as the controlling entity wants it to while the end consumer is busy calling for the replacement of the fictional figurehead because they have completely missed the punchline of the latest joke to manifest out of the universal bureaucracy. It is much better for the universe to be seen as a chaotic random series of events than to have the average person suddenly have the horrific realization that the purpose of the universe it to create the mental agony and confusion that can found at any Department of Motor Vehicles. After all, such a realization is how you get mystics who insist that the universe is just meaningless suffering created by a demon, and that the only way to cope is to get seriously drunk.

For those who can’t be bothered to read the previous paragraph, not alone understand it: The universe is supposed to feel like hell because it amuses the Sneakiest Bastard to make it so.

No comments: