My favorite incident of this type is how a few years ago, I watched one of the inspirations for the Great Gherkin tag me in a Facebook post, and then...
(Yes, the Great Gherkin is a composite monster, a Frankensteinian monster created from all the best bits of all the dubious occult leaders I have encountered over the years. You don't think that a single Big Name Occultist running a single Big Name Occult Tradition was the sole source of the Great Gherkin, did you? After all, it would be rather awesome if a single person was really that bad and manipulative, leaving the rest of the occult community safe to do business with. But no, the Great Gherkin is an archetype, an occult clone of awesome fierceness and frequency, one that appears in the genetic makeup of many of the finest occult leaders of our time. What does it take to be included into the hive mind of the Great Gherkin? Nothing more than holding a hand out asking for money while suffering Superior Tradition Disorder.)
So I am tagged in a post about marijuana, and then the Great Gherkin gets upset because not only do I weigh in; but so do other people, many of which do not see the awesome truth that all pot smokers are also violent ax murderers. Calling it a digression--a ploy to derail the many fine and excellent posts about magic occurring in their private FB group--they proudly say that it is better for everyone to have a gun, many guns, that many, many guns will prevent mass murders while pot makes people violent and unsuitable for spiritual advancement.
(Yes, that was the whole point of tagging me--to try to make me wake up to the fact that my ax murdering tendencies would totally be solved by giving me and everyone around me lots of bullets and firearms.--and that pot only made my ax murdering ways worse.)
In a fit of righteous, the Great Gherkin decided that my response ("No, you are wrong about pot making people violent") was just another point to justify kicking me out of their super and most excellent FB group. While it was not the final straw that broke the camel's back, that would have been my position on the definition of black magic (a position that they too shared a couple of days after kicking me out of paradise), they still bitterly talk about me as that Stinky Liberal Communist Leaning Pot Smoking Hippie Who Does Not Know the First Thing About Wicca and Golden Dawn Magic Despite Having Been in the System Practicing For Far Longer Than They Have...that label might need a trademark to ensure that it is only used by the right people to label the wrong people to listen to.
(In the meantime, I am barely able to prepare dinner while under the influence of sufficient amounts of THC, not alone the violent mass murders that I am supposed to be doing as a pot smoker.)
Interestingly enough, just a couple of weeks after kicking me out of their super duper greatest FB occult chat group ever, the Great Gherkin was one hundred percent in favor of legalizing marijuana, and was "the first occultist in the community to do so, having supported marijuana for years and years before anyone else did."
So why the change? Let's assume that it has nothing to do with the fact that large parts of the esoteric community actually support the legalizing of marijuana and that...
Okay, I have nothing here. If it is not jumping on the bandwagon to seem progressive and in tune with today's occult community, in order to keep collecting that sweet, sweet membership money, I have no clue. What I do know is that I have screenshots available for purchase in the kiosk that totally proves that someone was against pot, that they did not like my support of pot, and that they changed their tune after seeing that their potential membership pool had more than a few pot supporters in it.
Which they should have known already.
Having attended my fair share of classes held at occult shops, having attended my fair share of drum circles, having talked to my fair share of occultists, I have been aware of the fact that many occultists and witches smoke pot. In fact, I have heard stories that some of the biggest names in occultism, who scream that the pot is evil, have actually gone on drug benders which they and their trusted lieutenants have covered up. And I am not talking about just one person--no, this seems to be a pattern among many occult leaders who scream that the pot is bad.
Now, there are many in the occult community who are against all mind-altering drugs, including actual medicines prescribed by doctors. There are some who believe that I should not be allowed to take bipolar drugs while being a member of the occult community, not alone being allowed to take the edge off of my Inner Ax Murderer with the Wacky Weed.
But the most interesting part is watching the Big Name Occultist first banning all pot use, embracing it in the name of freedom, and then watching them going back again to condemning it after Jeffrey the Elf and the bestest President ever declared that we are going back to the successful "If you are caught with any pot at all, you will be in jail for the rest of your life" war on dangerous drugs.
(Please note that the Great Gherkin totally argues that any disagreement with the President at all makes you a traitor to the United States, one who should be hang by the neck until dead like the filthy liberal that you are.)
I am sorry, but if you can't make up your mind about the dangers of pot, I am just going to suspect that your current level of support is based not on your own opinions, but rather what you think your membership wants to hear--and that your changing opinion is more about being able to claim to be one of the people while taking the people to the cleaners.
As for myself, have I mentioned that magical pot laced cookies have sufficiently decreased the odds of me murdering you with an ax?
Happy National If You See Morgan About to Commit an Ax Murder, Please Give Him a Magical Cookie Day!
{Updated at 5:16 pm on 4/20/18: Changed "subscribed by doctors" to "prescribed by doctors"--thanks Jack Flash for catching that mistake.}
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| Remember if you see Morgan acting like an ax murderer, give him a pot laced cookie. |
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