Tea and biscuits with Mouni Sadhu

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Hi and welcome to the October 31st Tarot Blog Hop. This time around, our fearless wrangler, Arwen Lynch Poe, wanted us to talk about someone dead that we admired or disliked that ties into cartomancy.

My choice of such a figure is Mouni Sadhu, a student of the French Tarot system that was based on the work of Levi. One of the first advanced books on magic and the Tarot that I brought was written by him. I actually learned a lot from his book on Tarot.

Of course, when I say that, often I have someone ask if I have gone out of my mind.

Now, I do understand why people say that. For one thing, Sadhu (Mieczyslaw Demetriusz Sudowski) used the Levi system of ordering the Tarot. Most of my friends use the English system of Tarot that was created inside of the Hermetic Golden Dawn. The difference between the two systems is in how the Major Arcana are ordered. Levi placed the Magician at the beginning of the Major Arcana while Golden Dawn places the Fool at the beginning. When this ordering is combined with the Hebrew alphabet, you end up with completely different cards being associated with the elements, planets and zodiac signs.

(Please note that I think that it is useful to compare the two systems. Also note that it is not until the 18th century that the Hebrew and the Tarot had anything to do with one another.)

For another thing, Sadhu has some odd little equations of magic scattered throughout his book. Here is one:

"Equation No. 214: Knowledge (2) [High Priestess {Luna}] together with a clear perception of the principle of regeneration (20) [Last Judgment {Saturn}] undoubtedly makes an adept, who has the wisdom of the Major Arcana, a true Rosicrucian, like those original brothers hundreds of years ago. But how hard it is to conquer in full the FIRST element (2), and how difficult it is to believe, with a pure heart, as does a child (a necessary condition), in the SECOND (20), and apparently how torturing and strenuous is the task of neutralizing BOTH in one's true life."

Some people who read that will pull more from it than others. It makes odd sort of sense to me, but I can see where others would consider it complete nonsense.

When our wrangler first mentioned this subject, I found myself wondering what his natal chart (astrology) looked like. At first I thought that I was going to have to haul out my "no information available, but damn'it I have Tarot cards" spread to generate a chart for him.

(Basically, I lay out cards and use their GD astrological associations as a key to fill out the chart. I use an equal house system; and if I draw a planet card, I use the sign of its rulership as the position of the astrological data point that I am drawing for. Not the world's best way to do it, but when you have a headful of astrology--you use it.)

But when I did the Google, I discovered a noon natal chart for him.

Mouni Sadhu---polish mystic and magician,

I am not sure that I completely agree with the resulting rising sign, so I might later pull a card anyways to get a different possibility for it.

(And yes, occasionally when I have all the other data, I will pull a card to represent the rising sign. What do you expect from someone who writes Sun Sign astrology? Actual science?! Actual astrological technique?!)

Of course, there is also the debate of "if the rising is actually Scorpio, do I use Death (English) or Temperance (French) card to represent it?"

Well, at least this type of stuff keeps me off of the streets and out of trouble.

For those times that you simply do not know the data to plug in.

Thank you for reading my ramblings. As always during a Tarot Blog Hop, I encourage you to continue along to the next blogger in the chain (or the last one if you like to go in the opposite direction), and if you have any difficulties doing so (breaks in the chain), hop over to the Master List.

Happy Samhain.


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You drove me into the conspiracy

[This post is being written on September 27, 2012--and it is a prediction of the HOGD/AO reaction to the fact that a book of Commentaries on the Golden Dawn Flying Rolls has been published. I am writing it now because I am sure if what I am predicting comes true, I will not feel like being even this polite.]

Yes, I willingly volunteered to write a commentary on one of the Golden Dawn Flying Rolls when a member of the "evil conspiracy" asked me to. Yes, I knew that the profits were going to the Golden Dawn Legal Defense Fund. And yes, I knew who else were writing commentaries.

Well, the first statement is true. The other two statements were good guesses on my part. (I saw a partial "proof" copy just a couple of days ago, so I know that my guesses were true.) I will admit that I didn't ask certain questions once I heard that it was a "non-profit" community project, and that Nick Farrell was involved.

Now, I do not necessarily agree with everything that Nick says. I think that he knows this. For one thing, him and me have different opinions about what goes into running an esoteric Order--I suspect this is because I come from the "back of the bookstore" and "let's talk about this over coffee" schools of training; in many ways, his training was better than mine (not hard to accomplish at all). For a second thing, Nick casts Samuel Macgregor Mathers in the role of evil genius; I am not sure that Mathers was nearly as conscious of the effects that his instructions would have. (I will talk more about that in another blog post--if I haven't already by the time this entry is actually published.)

So why would I willing volunteer for this project, especially when I knew that it would get me labeled as a member of an evil conspiracy.

Because the HOGD/AO has already claimed that I am a member of the evil conspiracy.

When I was asked to volunteer for this project, it was just after the little McTroll name-calling session that occurred after the Biased Book Review Battle of 2012 (aka Nick Farrell's positive book reviews must be all written by members of an evil conspiracy--no one could actually think that Farrell's books had any real merit). In the case of that battle, I got labeled as a "McTroll."

After being labeled a member of the conspiracy (which I wasn't) and having my reputation dragged through the mud--yes, I willingly volunteered to do this project.

I did briefly think about withdrawing from the project when the HOGD/AO announced their Peace and Harmony Pow Wow. Clear up to the second that I realized that peace between me and the HOGD/AO meant me ceasing to write about anything occult.

In particular, two comments kept me in the project. The first one was by an anonymous commenter, who lumped me into a list of bad writers and bloggers.

It is a laundry list of who the HOGD/AO considers to be agents for the conspiracy.

A couple of people on this list are friends of mine. And a couple of them I would love to work with, even if it is only getting an article into the same book as them. Plus, lets be honest, they have influenced my approach to magic and Golden Dawn more than Griffin ever has.

The second comment got my Irish up. (Note, both of these comments were made after the HOGD/AO announced their peace effort...hence, my opinion that only my complete disappearance would be classified as peaceful from their viewpoint.) And it is by Griffin's own wife. Even assuming that she was reacting to a death threat, I found it highly disturbing as a writer.

Now, let's be honest--I do not agree with her base opinion that I was hurting the egregore of Golden Dawn, especially the part of it that belongs to the HOGD/AO. But her tone implied that they (the HOGD/AO) can do anything that they want and not have to apologize for it, while the rest of us need to get permission for everything that we do.

(For the record, the part in red is my personal commentary...for it describes how I felt about the comments.)

Having dragged my reputation through the mud, and labeling me an "evil conspiracy member"---it was natural for me to say, "Yes" to a project that I knew was going to be classified a plot by the conspiracy.

In fact, I am not sure that I would have qualified to be involved in this project if it wasn't for the HOGD/AO. After all, I was a neutral clear up until they decided to declare me a member of the conspiracy for giving Nick's book a positive review. And let's be honest, I never bothered to prove that I was a Golden Dawn expert, preferring to remain a lunatic with a soapbox. I honestly think that the HOGD/AO labeling me a McTroll got me this gig.

So I would like to give the HOGD/AO a big thanks for labeling me a member of the conspiracy, and allowing me to get involved in this latest project. I learned a heck of a lot from this project, and it is going on my resume.

Back Alley Education

Something that gets me into no small amount of trouble is how I picked up the little bit of education that I have. I tend to describe it as a "back alley education." And it is across the board---academics, writing, business, esoteric---there is really no area that the majority of my education came from approved and honored sources.

In the literature classes, I have a hard time buying into the basic concept of literary theory---the idea that the writer meant to imply great ideas and social commentary with the use of characters and imagery---which is one of the reasons that I struggle with literature. Maybe if I had a classic education, I would have an easier time buying into it.

But I didn't have a classic education. In fact, I am a student that was shuffled back and forth between advanced classes and short bus classes clear up to junior high. For some reason, talking with a German/Yiddish account makes one an idiot, and having a high pitched girlish voice makes one a moron. On the other hand, being able to pass tests with a bare minimum of study and completed homework makes one a frustrated genius.

Clue, I am not a moron or idiot, and the genius train refused to honor my ticket.

School districts and teachers literally did not know how to cope with my "special needs." It also did not help that we moved around so much. About the time, a school district figured out what to do with me, we would end up moving again.

None of this helped my social skills either. There is no point in being nice, polite, or pretending to be normal if you are going to lose any friends that you make within a couple of years because you have to move to yet another house.

And in high school, outside of the token speech therapy and social worker, there was a general lack of effect to address the weirdness that is me. In the school district's defense, it was a small town; there were budget issues.

In the end, I dropped out of high school. One class short. Freshman composition.

Yes, I said freshman composition. In my defense, there were some familial issues in play.

(A few years ago, I did manage to pass the GED tests...without studying for it. I used it to get into a community college, and then somehow managed to transfer to an university. Someone obviously was asleep at the switch. It looks like I might actually get a degree.)

So given this background, it is amazing that I managed to learn anything at all. Especially when you realize that I took my "how to learn" cues from my father, who did not even finish junior high.

My father made sure that I was surrounded by books. And he did a lot of reading himself.

What he could not pick up directly from books, magazines and newspapers, he picked up by questioning people. If you even find yourself being questioned to death by me, blame my father.

I have followed this pattern to the letter. For many years, while I was working in restaurants, my co-workers swore that I had to be going to college---there was no other possible reason that someone would read as much as I did otherwise. And I was not reading the current best-sellers either.

If I ran into someone with knowledge about a subject that I knew nothing about, I would grill them about all the ins and outs of the field. I have no problem with admitting that I know nothing at all.

And the amount of writing I did was ungodly. I was always writing something or other.

Of course, that is one of the reasons that I have a hard time buying into the basic premise of literary theory. I did too much writing without having any higher education. I wrote because I wanted to, and because occasionally I could con someone in writing me a check for something I wrote.

This leads to me having an attitude problem when someone claiming that Victorian writers had all these great social commentary ideas that they concealed in their writing. No, no, no---they were getting paid to write long tedious novels; one does not need to know anything more to explain their writing.

Yes, I am still a problem student today.

I am also a problematic business manager. I do not care what your business or economic theory is. If I have seen something like it fail, and fail big, then I am going to refuse to believe that you with a perfectly good academic degree know more about business and economics than I do, someone who just happens to have a decade plus of running a business under his belt.

I am also a problematic occult student. For many years, I had access to a handful of books. Literally, I could count the number of occult books I had access to on one hand. For me, one does not need a multitude of classes, books, or memberships, to understand the occult. One just needs to be doing the work while having an open mind that one techniques can be improved.

Obviously, this means that the whole purpose of the three Order system (Outer, Inner, and Third Orders) has slipped me by. I picked up the majority of my occult theory before joinning Golden Dawn, gained a lot of my practical experience before making my way into Inner Order. And I talk back way too much to ever have anything to do with Third Order. I am not big on secrecy and absolute obedience.

Maybe if I would have been exposed to the way the esoteric Orders were originally set up, I would feel different. But I wasn't. I learned more about Golden Dawn, talking to my sponsor and mentor over a cup of coffee than I ever did in lodge or from reading Regardie. The same goes for every Advanced Adept Advisor that I have ever dealt with---it is the side-tracks that I am learning from, not the lesson of the day.

This background creates a major attitude problem, or so people who claim to be more advanced than me have told me repeatedly.

I have been reminded of this recently while watching the debate about Pat Zalewski's latest book. I could care less about what the various groups think about his alchemical lore. Pat wrote his book for a single person.

And that is the only person's opinion that matters.

Yes, I feel that the only opinion of Pat's book that matters is that one lone student. Are they actually finding the book useful? If so, then Pat has done good.

Of course, the very fact that I have this opinion proves that I completely missed something important in my esoteric education. But then again, what do you expect from someone who did not go though the proper approved and honored channels to gain the skill and knowledge that he possesses? I have a back alley education, after all; and it shows up all the time in my bad attitude and inability to understand the most basic esoteric concepts in the manner that the higher Grade individuals would like me to observe.

The Migraine Won Today

I have been popping pills the last few days, trying to fend off a migraine. Well, it won today. My blog post about my father (which a couple of people actually want to see) is going to have to wait until the fog in my head clears up. Sorry for the delay.