My cunning plan to restore my work life balance

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Welcome to the mid-September installment of the Tarot Blog Hop. The topic for this one is maintaining and restoring balance--ironic considering that I am just starting to warm-up to break out of my summer schedule (which is not balanced at all).

A few years ago, while I was in college, I started to goof off during the summer months. At the time, it made sense--if only because I did not want to take classes during the summer semester (same amount of work--less time to do it in). After graduating (two bachelor degrees--literature and history), I continued taking the summer easy--mainly because of my wife's work habits and schedule.

Being a schoolteacher, my wife takes the summers off and works on her pottery business.

Now, this would not be so bad if she was not gifted with an annoying handicap--basically, she can't see when I am actually writing. I can be typing away, and she will walk into the room and proceed to talk as if my fingers flying over the keyboard are non-existent.

One of the bad things about writing (and art, for that matter) is that it is a "flow" activity. Basically, it is easier to do (and often better quality) if you can enter a mindset where the words and images just flow though you. Interruptions leads one to having to hack the words out at a painful rate of one word at a time.

Yes, writing is always done one word at a time.

But when the space between two words become filled with other concerns (such as the fact that one is supposed to pay attention when your wife is talking to you), it becomes a war to convince the next word to show up in a timely manner. Allow enough interruptions to happen, and the next thing you know you haven't wrote anything since like--forever, and one's muse goes on strike.

In my case, that is really not a good idea. I suffer from Heinlein Monkey--my health (both physical and mental) start to suffer when I haven't been doing enough writing. For instance, instead of sleeping, I will toss and turn for the entire night. And over the years, the problem has gotten worse.

Under normal conditions, the most that I have to put up with the summer schedule is three months, plus weekends, school holidays, and any day that my wife decides to take off, and...well, my bad childhood programming kicks in whenever someone decides that their schedule, even if it is only goofing-off, matters more than whatever I am trying to do. And I will feel great guilt for the little voice in my head that says that I should be writing instead.

Why do I have such bad programming? Simple, my mother thought that it was perfectly okay to make the oldest kid still at home, drop everything, including homework, to take care of the younger siblings and the house. That is why I ended up failing high school. Of course, it was not my mom's fault--according to her, I flunked high school because I was stupid--not because I was not allowed to do any homework. And any money I somehow made went 100% towards supporting my siblings.

So basically, I am programmed to put everyone else in front of my needs and wants--and suffer crippling guilt when I do not have the time or resources to support someone else fully and absolutely. Hence my wife decides to take the day off, and I feel obligated to keep her company--which is followed by frustration that I am getting no work done, and guilt over the fact that I feel frustrated, topped with the feeling that I am supposed to be making money hand over foot without burning up any resources (time or money).

In theory, my summer schedule is supposed to be three months...

Unfortunately, my mother-in-law died last year (suicide), so I never left summer schedule last year. My "summer" has now gone on for a year and a quarter. And it probably made sense to extend it to provide emotional support for my wife, but at some point you have to get back to work. Especially if not working has allowed an impressive imbalance to build up.

How bad is this imbalance? Peeking at my Tarot deck, the top card is the Two of Swords and the bottom card is the Lovers. I will admit that I am not brave enough to actually draw any other cards. Besides, it is not like I am going to change my plan for restoring balance.

Mercury Forty-Two--this might be the final cover.

Before my mother-in-law died, I was considering rebranding and relaunching my writing career. What I had planned originally was updating some books covers, writing and releasing some new stories, writing less political posts, stuff like that. The extended summer basically left me unable to do anything other than research how other writers were making money in the current market, and thinking about what my ideal work schedule would look like as a writer.

I did take a swing at rebooting and returning to my regular schedule in December, but it all went sideways when the remodeling started. (Not that the Esoteric Comedy Show project was ever going to be profitable, especially after YouTube changed the rules about who got to run ads on their videos.) From late February to...well, the first of this month, I got no writing done beyond the odd blog post (far and inbetween) and spent my writing energies just outlining novels that someday I might write once my wife started to work a regular schedule.

When my wife works a regular schedule, I get to work in peace while she is at work.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you choose to think about it), my wife had just quit her previous job when her mom died. After several years of dealing with bad charter school administration (that basically decided cheap was better than experienced), my wife was overdue to change jobs. And she was supposed to find a new job over the summer. That got tossed aside by family tragedy--she spent a lot of time dealing with her mom's estate. So she does not have a regular job yet (and I am guessing that it is going to be another whole year before she finds one); therefore, she is subbing again this year.

The thought of this was making me go a little crazy.

A little crazy...

So crazy that I have been forced to create a set of new rules. It is just too bad that I keep breaking them. For instance, I was supposed to have a new Tarot card done for this post (and to illustrate a story that I am working on), and it did not get done--because I allowed myself to step away from the keyboard and drawing board this week to provide emotional support for my wife's first full week back at subbing.

(I did do a card, but it looks exactly like I was interrupted numerous times as I tried to finish it. So we are just going to skip that one. If you are curious what my "flow-state" art looks like, see the book cover design illustrating this post.)

What are the new rules that I should be living by? (Rules that actually help keep me stable when I follow them...)

First, I have to write five hundred words a day. This number will go up later, but my writing engine is still cold as hell with the words coming at a painfully slow pace (three hours for five hundred words--not my best pace). And I need to write at the same time every day to increase the likelihood that my muse will get the memo and start showing up regularly. Most importantly, I am not allowed to step outside until my mandatory word count is done for the day.

Second, after a project hits a certain word count, I am not allowed to switch projects in that category until the current one is done. I am splitting my writing between Occult and Science Fiction/Fantasy, so that means that I have two projects going at any one time. Any ideas for other stories are written down on index cards and put in the proper file.

Third, I am aiming to complete a book a quarter (four books a year) using new pen-names for marketing purposes. (Besides the occult under my own name, there is going to be science fiction [Michael Ramalia] and urban fantasy [Charles Bloodmoon]--and possibly a pen-name that I am not going to admit to.)

Fourth, I need to make sure that I am actually eating lunch. After twenty years in food service (most as the responsible employee) and my childhood, I have bad tendency to realize I am hungry, and then proceed to continue what I am doing without actually taking time out to eat. I have started to make my lunch for the next day at the same time that I am making my wife's lunch for the next day. It is a lot easier if I only have to walk to the fridge and back when the writing is flowing.

Fifth, I am learning to write while wearing headphones. In theory, this is supposed to cut down on distractions and provide a visual clue that I am trying to work.

Sixth, and most important, I am not allowed to chase the hottest money making scheme, nor am I allowed to hand over funds and resources that were earmarked for my own business. That includes my time and energy.

Will these rules help? Yes, provided that I stick to them religiously.

So that is my current plan to restore some balance in my life. I will let you know later if I actually stuck to the plan, or if I allowed myself to give into the guilt and voices that say that I am supposed to put everyone else first.

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Remodeling update (production schedule delay)

A quick update for those who are curious about the house and yard remodeling.

The fallen tree was removed.

A metric ton of newspapers have been culled from the house.

This is despite the fact that I got sick the week and a half before the windows and doors were due to be installed. (Actually I am still slightly sick, but I did manage to get a lot of stuff done.)

Just the tip of the trash iceberg.

For those who don't know, our house is almost a hundred years old, and therefore automatically has lead paint. All of which means that everything had to be boxed up and/or wrapped in plastic.

Oh look, a thin layer of cement over brick--no wonder I can't hammer nails into the wall. 

Yes, I know that I "could have" done it "cheaper" by doing it myself. But my wife decided to spring for professionals, and who am I to argue with her? Especially given the fact that I really want to start to work on Icarus.

Here is to paying professionals to deal with the job.

The advantage of hiring professionals is that they can do it faster and better. So instead of taking a thousand years doing it myself, they managed to get the three new doors and the four upstairs windows done in three days.

Still have the four basement windows to do, but that needs to wait until I finish boxing up the basement. I have decided to do that in two stages because of how much plastic wrapping needs to be done downstairs.

We still have to get the new sidewalk in (goodbye Sidewalk of Death) and the outside painting done--it is scheduled to be done before the Fourth of July.

Both me and Khari are looking forward to the work being done, and our first garden (drumming) party later this summer.

(And I am thinking about the possibility of teaching a few occult and witchcraft classes...we will see how it goes.)

How many cats can fit in the window?

For those who are eager to see me get more stuff done (Esoteric Comedy Show, Great Gherkin/Sister Seuss, the expansion of the three officer ritual book, etc.), everything is being delayed. Besides the outside work still to be done, it has been decided that some of the rooms in the house are going to get painted, and new bookcases built--mainly because this is the first time, Khari has seen me be able to deal with such things without suffering blinding panic attacks (ask me about how meds can help).

And then there is Icarus... (which deserves its own post.) Oh yes, Icarus is coming.

Is the term House Elf racist? (weird thought of the month)

A few months ago, Bill Maher (Real Time) made a horrible joke that he was a House-N-Word, and the internet lost its collective mind. And ever since the following question has been disturbing me (pretty much on a daily basis): Is the term "House Elf" racist?


My first thought, after I heard what Bill Maher said, was "He should have said, 'House Elf'; it would have been funnier. I would have said 'House Elf.'" My second thought was, "OMG--am I a racist for making House Elf  jokes?!?"


And I make a lot of them. My favorite one is "It is just like being a House Elf without the job satisfaction." My second most used one is "Do I look like a House Elf?"


I would use the "A House Elf must be set free--Master has given Dobby a sock--Dobby is free!!!" joke, except my wife never hands me her dirty laundry; she just leaves it laying around.


I am fairly sure that I would have to explain the last joke to her...because I am a much bigger Harry Potter fan than she is. Then I think that she would roll her eyes at me, and call me "weird."


So is the term "House Elf" racist? Leave your opinion in the comment section, but please bear in mind that I am probably going to continue to make House Elf jokes because it amuses me to do so. For instance, have you heard about the one about the House Elf and the cat litter box...

Funny or not? Political incorrect or not? You decide.



What is NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month)

For those who are curious, National Novel Writing Month is basically a bunch of writers (both professional and amateurs) who attempt to write fifty thousand words without any editing in the space of thirty days in order to create a rough draft of a novel.

The preceding sentence was forty-five words. That's like 2.9 percent of the 1667 words one needs to write on average every day to hit that goal. Or in other words, I would need thirty-eight more sentences of that length to complete today's word count goal. Provided that these were actually words that belonged to the horrific novel that I was working on.

But I would never do that; I would never count the number of words that I used to explain NaNoWriMo to pad out my rough draft and hit my goal. That would be cheating.

No, instead I would write "The Great Gherkin has a small pickle" two hundred and fifty-four times to make up my daily word count. Do that thirty days in a row, and behold a novel that is as intelligent as anything a Big Name Occultist/Magician/Witch/Shaman/KarmaCoach has ever said.

In fact, if you read the sentence "The Great Gherkin has a small pickle" out loud seven thousand one hundred and forty-three times, you will become enlightened. You can trust me on that one, for I am a novelist and not the Great Gherkin.

Or so you would think.

Burn all liberal science fiction writers (Conservatives only want conservative science fiction)

Yes, I write satire, and this post title is satire...

...but not nearly as much as you would think.

One of the things to come out of the modern polarized world of politics and righteous voters is the idea that only members of your chosen political belief system should be allowed to write and influence society.

That includes journalists, politicians, entertainers, writers, musicians, etc. ad nauseum.

Everyone else (outside of your selected political viewpoint) who influences society should be rounded up, tried and convicted as traitors, and then hang by the neck until dead to protect society from their evil heretic ideas.

Or at least, that is the impression I get from some righteous conservative voters.

For instance, some people think that the new Star Trek series is too political....because what was going on in the real life political world influenced their story lines.

Basically, if you don't agree with their politics, you are not allowed to write anything about politics--fiction or otherwise--scream conservatives. Or anything else for that matter because you might influence people away from good wholesome conservative values (which includes harvesting the organs of dead poor people to buy for tax breaks for the rich who are the true heroes of society).

No, Star Trek is not a liberal Chinese Communist conspiracy to drive the bestest President ever--Donald "Jesus" Trump--from office.

The Star Trek writers employed the device of science fiction, asked "Wouldn't it be wild if a society was like this?"--then wrote some science fiction.

It is not their fault if their story lines ended up looking like something that mirrors the descent of our own society. No, that would be the fault of our society...which by the way also includes you.

Science fiction writers write stuff that they think will be interesting, and will result in them getting more paychecks. It is all about the ratings.

If you want conservative science fiction, you need to encourage conservative science fiction writers (buy their stuff!!! share links to their stuff!!! encourage others to buy their stuff!!!)--it is that simple. If there is boatloads of money to be made writing conservative science fiction, conservatives will write science fiction. You don't need to organize boycotts, or petition Congress to outlaw liberal science fiction, you just need to f***ing support conservative science fiction writers. The free market system, which you as good conservative should believe in totally (especially if you are a Trump supporter), will take care of the rest.

You end up with liberal science fiction because it gets better ratings (and makes more money)  than conservative science fiction.

And for the record, Star Trek has always been political. A lot of science fiction is.

Examples of political science fiction include: The original tale of Atlantis, The Time Machine (H.G. Wells), Starship Troopers (Robert Heinlein), 1984 ( George Orwell), The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams), Disc World (Terry Pratchett), The New Testament (fan-fiction written by the fans of the greatest science fiction writer ever, that dude called Jesus)...etc. 

By conservative standards all these writers should be burned at the stake because they did not openly support a society ran by a reality TV star who cares more about his ratings than actually doing the job that Presidents are supposed to do (hint, the word sounds like "Unity), and where poor dead person organ harvesting helps the government give big tax breaks to those who really need them--aka those who are making over a hundred million a year. Of course, you will have to employ a time machine to kill them; but hey I keep getting told that conservative science is the bomb, and far more advanced than liberal science (which believes in false ideas like human caused global warming), so you should have no problem.

(If you know some interesting conservative science fiction writers, outside of the Great Gherkin himself, feel free to mention them in the comment section. I would mention some...but I can't think of a single one outside of the Great Gherkin [who himself is a work of fiction] and the current Republican administration.)

But never mind that---burn all Star Trek writers as liberal Chinese Communist traitors!!!

My current writing schedule (why only Great Gherkin at the moment) and delay in projects

I been asked about my current writing schedule by more than one person, so I will publicly post my answer.

At the moment, I have no regular writing schedule. Occasionally, I can steal a few minutes to type something up, or to quiet the voice of the Muse; but outside of that, no writing is getting done at the moment.

This means that scheduled projects are being delayed, and certain pre-releases outright cancelled (I de-listed the Mostly True Astrology project yesterday simply because I don't know when I will get back to working on it). And it also means that no matter how tight my budget gets, I can't actually commit to additional projects (I thank people for the job offers, but I can't promise that I will be able to finish even a mere hundred words a week at this point.)

For instance, the overdue (really late) issue of the Denver Witch Quarterly has been re-scheduled yet again, simply because the two outstanding articles that I am supposed to write for it have not been completed. (And the issue can't go out without those articles because they are the signature articles for the issue [Remembering Alia Denny and Esoteric Leadership].) That was what I was working on when my mother-in-law died, taking her own life, and a month and a half later I still have not got around to completing them. (There is actually a chance that the October issue will be released before the July issue, if it hits the word-count target before the July issue is done.)

I simply have to put my wife's emotional needs, mine, and cleaning and prepping my mother-in-law's house for sale, in the top priority slots, followed by housework. (The only reason I have time to write this blog post is that I can't step out of the house before the load in the washing machine is finished.)

So this means that all anyone is going to see from me for awhile is the monthly column for the Hearthstone Community Church's newsletter, and the occasional Great Gherkin related chapter (a lot of the chapters are self-contained, and can stand alone by themselves)--both of which are me getting stuff out of my head, so that I can sleep in peace. And maybe a October blog-vacation project (basically a series of really small nonsensical posts) just to keep the writing flow going until I can get back to my regular writing schedule.

I write to let the voices in my head (aka the Angry Muse) out.

Odd video (Morgan discovers Wormholes on Flat Earth)

If you are ever curious why I became a satire sci-fi/fantasy writer, just remember that strange thoughts come to me, and then stick around. Like this idea that came about while reading a Facebook post about an airflight that did not take the direct route over the North Pole that the Flat Earther assumed that the plane should take (because it was the shortest path...let's ignore safety concerns there), and which did not take as long as the Flat Earther was told...all proof that the Earth is really flat and not a round sphere. After the strange idea showed up, and made my mind just go around and around, I decided to make a short video to get it out of my head (under two minutes!)--which worked so well that I now have several pages of notes for a story called Flat Earth Science! And my notes are still growing...which may just be another aspect of Wormholes interacting with a Flat Earth.

Yin Yang Peppermint Patty (Tarot Blog Hop)

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Welcome to the June Tarot Blog Hop. For the theme of this hop, Aisling, our fearless wrangler, pointed out that just as the Oak King, Cernunnos (the Green Man), god of planting and the Waxing half of the year, is part of his opposite, Lugh, the Holly King (the Red God), god of harvest and the Waning part of the year, both being halves of a whole, so too are each of us comprised of two halves, a light and a dark.

Aisling wrote, "It is important in the understanding of this Lore to realize that the two Deities here represented are actually seen as one God, two Faces of the same Being, two aspects of life, and actually perform the combat between Oak and Holly as a necessary adaptation of their own Being, with the full understanding of the necessity of both a waxing and a waning year, planting and harvesting, and the joy of creation connected with the necessity of using that creation."

Likewise, she noted that it is important for us to understand the duality of our own natures.

Yang Yin Tarot Spread TBH June 2017.

Towards developing an understanding of this duality, she instructed us to pick a card to represent ourselves, our fundamental nature--our being. Then we were to choose a card that represented its "cognate opposite"--"the yin to our chosen yang." After that, we were to draw five cards at random, to represent the elemental energies in our lives, and to examine how the light and dark of our natures interacted with these forces.

Deck used: The Secret Tarots--Marco Nizzoli (Lo Scarabeo 1998).

Picking the Yang card was actually hard for me, mainly because I was faced with so many tasty options. Literally, I quoted Jeff from the cult TV show, Chuck--"How can I make up my mind when I have so many tasty options? I got so many tasty options..." which probably says that I need a more nerdy Tarot deck than the one that I am using.

I have always found it easier to see the darkness in myself than the light. Think of me as a Yin Yang Peppermint Patty--the dark is all visible with the light part all hidden away. For those who are curious, "Yin Yang Peppermint Patty" is a saying that I learned from my Gardnerian Wiccan aunt--it was the first thing that went though my mind when I read the theme of this Tarot Blog Hop.

The ease that I have in seeing the darkness in myself explains so many of my magical mottos--most of which can be summed up as "If I am a villain condemned to hell, I just as well have some fun on my way there."

Part of my problem with picking a Yang card is spiritual pride. For instance, I would love to be able to choose the Magician card as my Significator--after all, I am an occultist involved in using magic for spiritual development. But realistically, I am probably more of the Devil than the Magician, for as a ceremonial magician, I tend to beat on the universe with a large stick until it does what I want it to. This is a perfect illustration of a magician having a large ego--my only saving grace is that I know that I lean towards black magic, and can't be bothered to claim otherwise.

Sadly, I am just like Jeffrey Barnes from the cult TV show, Chuck.

In the end, I went with the card from my favorite Tarot deck that everyone associates with me: Four of Pentacles. In this particular Tarot deck, The Secret Tarots (Marco Nizzoli), the Four of Pentacles is represented by a man sitting next to a desk with an orb lamp, ink bottles, paper and a book--in other words, I think he might be a writer. (Or I could be wrong, and he could be the miser of the Waite/Smith/Rider deck--in which case, I grew up in a poor family and being cheap is a virtue--or so, my mother believed.) Ironically, in my mind, writers are magicians--this is just a more realistic version of a magician. And as my regular readers know, I fancy myself as a writer.

When I read the theme for this hop, I instantly knew what my Yin card was--the Eight of Swords. And I do mean that I knew instantly--there was no need to think about it any further. Like my Yin card, this is a more realistic version of a Major Arcana for me--yes, I can see the Devil in this card. In my case, my darkness is a mental state created out of being bipolar, being raised in a bipolar family, and being expected to sacrifice myself in the best interests of everyone else, and to only do things that made the rest of family (well, my mother) look good.

Or as I like to joke, the voices in my head can get really loud. "Will this project make money? Shouldn't you go back to flipping burgers--you would make more. Ain't you full of sinful pride? You are a lousy writer. It is your sister who is the real writer. What would Mom [and the rest of the family] think if this project became successful? Oh, the shame you are going to cause--the family is going to disown you." Basically, I am a prisoner in my own mental hell constructed by an unstable selfish bipolar mother.

How unstable and selfish was my mother? Oh, just the normal "Babysitting your siblings is more important than your homework" and "Oh, I am having a bad day, so let me throw you down the stairs" and "Oh, he doesn't visit me because he ended up in prison" and "Oh, you are a Wiccan...well, I am going to try to get you committed to a mental ward for being a Satanist." Never mind that I never served a day of jail time, and that I successfully managed a restaurant for ten years, and completely ignore any kind act you have seen me do. Is it any wonder that I can see my darkness much better than my light?

Moving along to the rest of the cards...

The Spirit (Wisdom) card I pulled was the Seven of Pentacles, a man looking at a growing tree. In my head, I have all these perfect plot ideas...which I tend to give up on before I am even remotely done with a project. Pat Zalewski (or was it his wife, Chris) said of this card that it sometimes indicates "There is a strong need to be financially secure to offset a deep emotional need for security" and that is really part of my Stop and Go problem as a writer. I can quickly get off the rails, and start project hopping (finishing nothing) when monetary shortfalls crop up--all in the hope of finding that golden money making project.

The Fire (Will) card I pulled was the Ten of Pentacles, a couple sitting outside of a house in one of those historical "take my picture and see how much wealth I have" poses. Having studied the habits of successful writers, I know that it is possible to make a comfortable living writing provided that one works hard and finishes projects. But there is that little voice saying that I should be doing something else and to quit wasting my time as a writer. One of the esoteric teachings about this card is that in order to accomplish the pinnacle of success, one needs to have the upper and lower worlds working in harmony. Interestingly enough, one of my current project ideas involves a lot of expensive research, and I mean a lot of research--yet I think that it would be a mighty fun project to write which would end up with loyal fans. Now if I could only get the voices in my head to shut up long enough to actually finish the research and the writing...

The Water (Intuition) card I pulled was the Lightning Struck Tower. On one hand, I hope to be a successful writer; on the other hand, I fear becoming a successful writer. Basically, I have some fear of being successful. While my mom died two years ago, I still think that some of my family will blow a gasket if I actually do become successful. And let's be honest, all writers end up with a horde of haters. On top of that, I would have no idea what to do with actual money, if I somehow ended up being one of those writers. Fortunately, as the voices say, I am a little delusional and can ignore the possibility of becoming successful.

The Air (Mind) card I pulled was the King of Pentacles. This is an one day at a time card--just keeping moving forward. The writer in me knows that writing projects take time to complete--there is research, rough drafts, beta readers, editing, etc. to do. And the crazy voices say, "Just one more day--then tomorrow you will give up and go do something else with your life, and everyone will be happy that you finally woke up to your senses."

The Earth (Action) card I pulled was the Four of Wands. This card reminds me of my wife. And to be honest, it is her income that is allowing me to stay at the table and continue to write. She is also the person who described to my doctor in horrific details the way that I was acting as an untreated bipolar--without her description, I would not be on the meds that I am currently taking. In addition, there is a "take joy in life" aspect to this card--"nothing ventured, nothing gained" says the writer; "have fun while you can" says the voices of doom and despair.

And so we reach the end of a reading that I am quite sure makes me sound like a loser, who is just one prize away from a Cracker Jack box. I would like to think that my display of public insanity makes you feel much, much better about yourself--or at least grateful that you are not me. And if not, just smile and say, "Yin Yang Peppermint Patty" to the next ten people you meet because that always cheers me up.

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Father of Gump (what would my father think of me)

One of the things that I think about occasionally is what my father would have thought about how my life turned out.

For those who don't know: My father died in a semi-trailer accident in 1984, at the age of forty-two. He died while I was in Army boot camp. His death is the official reason that the US Army and I parted paths--because the Army thought that I was needed more back home (I am the oldest of eight kids). That idea did not pan out because my mom did not want me to return home (she was worried that I would affect her survivor benefits from Social Security)--which is probably a good thing considering how "evil" my life turned out to be (to her dying day, my mother would call me a Satanist...which I am not).

So basically, my father never saw any of my adult life.

Sometimes I believe that I would have been more successful if he would have lived longer. He was always the encouraging one. But I will admit that occasionally, he was ignorant of what direction I was headed. For instance, he was unaware of my desire to be a writer clear up to the end of my senior year in high school.

So I would like to believe that I would quit working food service sooner, that I would have went to college sooner, that I would have gotten treatment for my bipolar sooner, and that I would be more successful in my writing career--because of his encouragement.

Or maybe one of my sisters is right, and he would have completely disapproved of my life, and thought that I needed to taken down a peg or two.

Who f***ing knows.

What I do know is that he affected my politics, my approach to community service, my philosophy,  and how I tell stories.

I spent a lot of time with my father on various jobs. We remodeled houses together, worked on construction sites together (once spent the entire summer camping out on one job site out in the woods of Albert County), took me along to deliver produce to various customers (he actually was training me to take over the family produce company*), introduced me to farming and to the hobby of gardening. He also made sure that I was surrounded by books, and he tutored me and my sister to count change in our heads.

[*My sister likes to point out that the only reason that he was training me was that she wasn't old enough yet, and that he meant for her to take over the family business...which ironically, would have been totally acceptable to me--because I actually wanted to be a writer. This sister also points out that my writing totally s***s and that I will never be successful doing it as a career--she might have a point, but I am a crazy person and generally ignore her advice on that front.]

My father was the first comedian and story teller that I knew. In all fairness, many of his jokes were about Polish people....and I know that it is wrong that they still bring a smile to my face. And he told the same jokes over and over again--because each new job site or customer was a brand new audience. As a result of this, my first lessons in writing and revision came from my father.

We used to listen to talk show radio a lot. And he would argue back at the radio, "Well, that is not going to work out..." Plus him and Mom once campaigned for a candidate running for District Attorney here in Denver. So my getting up on a soapbox and sharing my political opinions would not have been foreign to him. And the rate I upset people, not a surprise at all--he often remarked that I would have been shot by the age of ten if I would have been born in Russia.

(He might have been surprised that I am still registered as a Republican--my mom insisted that all her kids had to be Republicans--hell, she would have demanded that I voted for Trump...except that her threat of disowning me for voting for the wrong person would have carried no weight because I was already disowned for being a Satanic witch.)

My interest in magic and the occult definitely would not have been a surprise--after all, he also sat at the table talking about Wicca and witchcraft with my aunt. He might have been surprised that I ended up in the pagan clergy category--or maybe not. After all, he had a touch of ESP (predicted the unification of Germany at a time that no one thought that it was possible).

I tend to think about him when I am gardening. Dad was the one who taught me how to compost, and stuff like that. He grew vegetables--which given that there was eight of his kids, and we were poor, made a lot of sense. I am not sure what he would have thought of my growing herbs, but I am sure that he would have understood my point that herbs are damn expensive at the store.

My deepest regret is that he never read any of my writing. When he was alive, I had to conceal my writing habit from my mom, who believed that writing was a sin. I was good at hiding what I was really up to. I especially regret that he did not live long enough to meet my wife, and read what I am currently working on--in fact, one of the characters in my Ancient Egyptian stories is partially based on him.

Still what can you do? Just fondly remember the man, and hope that he would have approved of where i am headed with my work. Happy Father's Day Dad--I miss you.

Happy Father's Day!

Does historical fiction need to be accurate? (Especially if I am the writer)

One of the things that I have been kicking around is a story set in Ancient Egypt. Now I will probably never write it because I have now mentioned it on my blog which usually kills off any project that I discuss...because of...I am not sure--it may simply be that my brain says "You have told that story already--move on."


Of course, it may also be my perfectionist nature, or maybe there is a voodoo doll out there of me with lots of pins in it, or the fact that I worry about how other people will react to my work--who knows.


The big question that I am asking about this project is "How much actual historical accuracy do people expect?"


If readers expect a hundred percent accuracy, then let's be honest, they will be sadly disappointed in my work--because I have never allowed the truth to get in the way of a good story. That is a nasty habit that I picked up from my father, who used to tell jokes about the Polish (including the famous short runway pilot joke).


There is also the little fact that my degree is in general history, and not a deep degree focused on any particular time period.


Plus to use the best research and knowledge available on Ancient Egypt costs an arm and a leg. Doing research, I learned that many of the books that would be particularly useful to me, have price tags in the hundred of dollars (and one topped a thousand dollars).


And then there is the other side of the question, which is "Do Golden Dawn members expect fiction written by an Order member to reflect the teachings of the Golden Dawn tradition, even when the current academic research says that the Golden Dawn lore is completely and utterly wrong?"


For the one person who just said, "What? Golden Dawn is not historically accurate? That can't be true--the Imperator of Golden Dawn insists that the teachings of Golden Dawn are one hundred percent true to the Ancient Egyptian mysteries because our Order lineage goes all the way back to Ancient Egypt and beyond."--Sorry, someone has lied to you.


But none of these questions matter because I am probably not going to do any more work on the project--because that is the curse of mentioning it--which I am quite sure will make my favorite critic happy.

One of my favorite scenes from Stargate: "Why do they keep reprinting Budge?"

Predicted Trump in 2011

Earlier this year, people got annoyed with me when I started to make President-for-Life jokes about a certain orange skinned billionarie wig model. Some even told me that he would not even get nominated. And lo, and behold, guess who nailed down the GOP nomination? Yes, that is right--I got it correct! All hail the orange skinned billionaire wig model that is soon to be your President--For. The. Rest. Of. Your. Life. 

Trulhu for the win!

For the record, I started to make fun of soon-to-be President Trump back in 2011. Proof of that can be seen here and there on my list of badly written and formatted blogs.

And this is called Predicting the Future by assuming that the universe is ran by a writer with an evil sense of humor. Or as we will say it after Trump gets elected, a perfectly rational sense of humor based on the fact that sheeple knew what a totally awesome guy he was, and how he will save them from the evils of the Democrats, raping Mexicans and these bomb-encrusted Muslims! All hail Trump! Free guns for everyone! 'Murica is Great again! Welcome to the 1950s the remake.

So based on this comedic divination technique, I am predicting that the honorable Donald Trump, the one with the very hot daughter that he would totally date if he could, with the enormous hands, and who the tentacles love, he gets along great with the tentacles, the tentacles love him, will be elected the forty-fifth President of the United States. And that he will make a boatload of money from his Presidency, mostly by overcharging the Mexicans to build a wall to keep the Mexicans (and Muslims) out of Totally Not Racist, Not Queerist, Pro-Jail For Making Jokes About the President 'Murica. 

And that there is a 50/50 chance that Sarah Palin will be the next Vice-President.

And now welcome to Dilemma Time, that game show that puts you between a rock and a crazy place. Do you vote for Trump and make Mad Uncle Morgan right? Or do you vote for any dead donkey to prevent Mad Uncle Morgan from being right? It is your choice America! Choose wisely. 

Dont owe Prince a damn thing

My response to someone saying that as a writer, I owed Prince a debt because he fought censorship.

"Luckily for prince, other artists can sell things like grimoires or explicit romance novels without being banned/forced to do some other shit to keep the lights on."

You have no idea about the book market, do you? Most writers have a day job to keep the lights on because they will make less than a thousand in royalties. Same goes for most artists and musicians. Even today, all the book outlets can ban your book for absolutely no reason, and you can't do anything about it.

The only artists that Prince helped were artists who were or became famous enough to make so much money that it was stupid for outlets not to sell their stuff.

Small timers still suffer from the whims of the market and have to worry that some Christian will start screaming, "Will someone think of the children?!"

As an erotica writer, my market was cut by over 90% because companies decided to listen to those who supported censorship. Prince did not help me one bit.

The quickest way to get banned is to start selling like hotcakes--because then some Christian is likely to get upset. 

Morgan Hates All of You 2015 blog campaign

Hello and welcome to the Morgan Hates All of You 2015 blog campaign.

Exterminate all numpties!!!

One of the strange things about being a creative person, especially one who actually has to do it for a living, is that sometimes making art (or writing, in my case) becomes too much like work. Over the years, I have noticed that I am not the only artist who ends up in this rut.

But the most interesting thing I have noticed about this artistic rut is how artists and writers get out of it---by creating art! Yes, that is kinda odd.

The only difference is that when an artist goes on their "art-cation" (or a writer goes on their "write-cation"), they are only doing it for themselves---and care not what other people think.

So for the rest of the month (until Halloween when I do the next Tarot Blog Hop), I am just writing for myself. No censor. No concern for the feelings of numpties who get alarmed when Daleks come out of the woodwork shouting "Exterminate the stupid!" No giving of fucks. No fucks will be given.

You might want to ignore me for the next thirty-one days. Or maybe you too can use a vacation from being politically correct about all things occult and mundane. Either way, I plan on having fun.

How to be a self-published occult writer (a list of ideas to ignore)

So you want to be an occult writer? Because everyone who is involved in the occult wants to be a writer. Well, maybe not everybody--I understand that there is an occultist in Denmark that does not want to be an occult writer....but I think that person might be a myth. So how does one become a self-published occult writer? (Because it is a lot of work to get a publisher interested in your work---after all, the average occult book sales numbers are only in the low hundreds, even for a bestseller. There are also economic reasons to be self-published...but that is a whole another post to be written.)


Step one: Actually be an occultist.


This might seem funny to put the horse in front of the cart, but it is really helpful to actually be an occultist when writing about the occult. And I do not mean being a fly-by-night just-got-involved occultist (who knows all about the occult despite never actually opening up a book and/or never doing a single spell or ritual) or an armchair occultist (all theory--years and years of theory, but not a single working operation ever). I mean an actual occultist, someone with years of practical experience under their belt who can wing-it on pretty much on every possible ritual type without having to consult the internet or beg for spells (I would include books here, except that no one actually reads books any more....which should give you pause).


Step two: Establish a presence.


The sad part about being a writer who wants to sell books is that your marketing has to begin years before you publish your masterpiece. Yes, I know that you are special and unique. But you could be a living god and you will not sell copies of your book if no one knows who you are. You want to have your Facebook, your Twitter, and whatever other useless social media presence that you want to have established before you hit "publish."


Remember that as a self-published occult writer, you do not have a publisher to pimp out your work. Not that a publisher will do that much advertising for you--for some reason, publishers tend to do a small shout-out when a book is published, and then they generally ignore it...unless it becomes a hot seller, in which case, they were always fully supporting your work.


You are going to waste a lot of time on social media. And not just on marketing---people tune out the salespeople on social media, so you better be prepared to trot out those funny cat pictures. You want people to be following you, and generally well-disposed to you, so that when you pop out that occasional "please buy my book!," they do not immediately ignore you.

While you are wasting gobs of time, keep an eye out for successful occult writers. Notice their work habits, their general level of helpfulness, how they conduct themselves. Keep track of which ones are actually supporting themselves doing something non-occult related.

Step three: Research and experiment.

This ties back into step one, and cannot be stressed enough--working occultists have an edge. Part of your presence should be you pretending to care about others and trying to be helpful. One should not smile at the stupid numpties who are packed up to the rafters while suggesting helpful ways for them to ensure that they are visited by instant karma. Remember living customers potentially are repeat customers, and you want to test your stuff to ensure that no one loses a limb while performing your awesome rituals of power and magic.


Step four: Try to be original.

And fail miserably. Everything has been done before. The only thing that you really have to offer without robbing a cache of unpublished material from famous dead occultists is your unique voice. If your writing sounds like everyone else's, you are not being unique. A reader should be able to spot a piece of your writing without seeing your byline. Unfortunately, developing an unique voice requires lots of writing, way more than you thought it would take.


Step five: Wrestle with the keyboard.

Let's be honest---there are a ton of "occult writers" who do not write. Oh, occasionally one will be working on a book or an article, but most writers are just giving themselves a fancy title to reap the glories and fame that they think comes with the profession of being a writer. Of course, if that is you, then you are already long gone, having abandoned this post four steps ago---or perhaps at the very title of the post.

The harsh truth of the writing profession is that writers write. We write a ton of bad copy, a ton of bad ideas flow off of our fingers and into inky pixels, horrifying us when we make the mistake of reading our first drafts.


Ask yourself this: Can I survive the horrors of National Novel Writing Month? (For the unenlightened, the idea behind NaNoWriMo is to hack out, and I do mean HACK, fifty thousand words in the space of thirty days. While the focus of NaNoWriMo is on bad first drafts of novels [fifty thousand words being the lowest word count to qualify a work as a novel...according to some literary standard board which name I am too lazy to look up], the idea is the same. Can you crank out copy?

If the answer is No, you might still be able to be a writer. There are occult writers who have milked the fame of a single occult book--I know one whose work was simply photocopying the same set of rituals over and over again, and the fifty pages that were not the same ritual over and over again were also cribbed from someone else...and there are people who think that he is the greater occult writer and authority of our time (I kid you not).


But, and it is a mighty big BUT, most writers who are truly successful write a lot of copy. In order to be truly successful, you have to write a lot of words to feed the beast. Fifty thousand words a month is actually below what most professional writers (aka those who are paying their mortgage payment with their writing income) write per month. Professional writers write, just like professional plumbers plumb. 

Step six: Edit the crap out of that manuscript.


One of the harsh realities of being self-published is that you are responsible for the whole nine yards. This includes the editing of your book. Speaking as a nasty harsh book reviewer, I take away points for spelling, grammar, and punctuation mistakes. The more unreadable your work is, the more points I deduct---with a really badly edited and formatted book, it can cost the book five out of five stars.


So do yourself a favor and edit the crap out of your manuscript. Make it as easy and clear to read as you possibly can. You do not want your readers' eyes to bleed from merely reading the horrific way that you string words together. Save the eye bleeding for your revolutionary magical ideas.


Please note---you do not have to do your own editing. It is helpful if you can do your own editing, but know that a second (and a third and a fourth, etc. etc.) set of eyes is really helpful. Yes, it is going to cost to use an outside editor; but where there is a will, there is a way. Remember step two? Look how the successful writers are accomplishing this--some are paying for a service (who are they using? how much do they charge?) while others are using some form of beta-readers, or exchanging editing (because it is easier to see other people's mistakes). Also remember that the less painful it is for an outside editor to edit your work, the better (for instance, I charge extra for editing if it makes my eyes bleed).

Step seven: Putting it all together.


Also known as the joys of formatting. As I mentioned in the previous step, I deduct points when I review a badly formatted book. Again this is something that you can choose to do yourself, or farm out to someone else. I personally choose to format my own work, but I have also set up a front and back matter document to save me time during the formatting process. To the best of my knowledge, all the self-publishing platforms have a page (or a complete pdf) of formatting tips. Consider formatting as you write.


Step eight: Set up your accounts.

There are several companies that you can self-publish though. Or you can choose to self-publish though your own web page (this is not a good route if you have not built up an audience back in step two). The goal is to make your work available though as many sales platforms as you can. The nice thing about the current self-published world is that thanks to ebooks and POD (print-on-demand), you do not have to pay for a ton of books that you end up having to store and ship out of your basement.


The big daddy of all sales platforms is Amazon, of course--who else could it be?! I would avoid the exclusive option. For paper books, there is the Amazon-associated CreateSpace.

If you want to have a hardback book, there is only Lulu. I must admit that Lulu is on my low end of concern when it comes to uploading. For one, Lulu takes a bigger cut, and forces you to have higher prices (this is true even if you are not doing the paper route). Second, my experience is that Lulu just does not get random book paying traffic--in other words, for every copy you sell, you have to work hard to advertise.

There is Kobo, and Barnes &Noble, and quite a few other platforms...some of which I have never figured out how to set up an author account with. And each platform I have mentioned requires you to have a separate account, and upload an uniquely formatted document to (by unique, I mean that the various platforms have different requirements, including your adcopy refers only to their company...with one expectation).

 My preferred "I am a lazy writer who can't be bothered to upload to a dozen platforms" outlet as a self-publisher is Smashwords. The advantage of using Smashwords is that I get to use the same adcopy, a single document, and do not have to upload separately to Kobo and Barnes & Noble, and to other outlets that I see little, if any, sales from. Smashwords also distributes to a couple of outlets that I have never been able to create an author account for, or who absolutely refuse to deal with individuals authors (for instance, the library services). The disadvantage is that you have to give Smashwords, as well as the outlet that they distributed to, their percentage of the loot. But in my case, I would rather do that than spend a lot of time uploading to multiple platforms. The one platform that Smashwords does not support is Amazon (there is a long story there--bottom line Amazon wants the opportunity to trick you into exclusivity on their platform).

So for those who are curious, my priority to upload and distribute goes Amazon, then Smashwords, and Lulu on that cold day when I have nothing better to do.

At the very bottom of my list is a company called BookBaby. It is on the very bottom of my list, for the simple fact that it involves an upfront cost. Maybe you can afford it, and maybe you will sell enough copies to make a profit; but for myself, it just guarantees that I never will make my break-even point.


Step nine: Obtain a decent professional cover.

I suggest that you use frolicking unicorns with lots of rainbows. Or a black robed magician performing a human sacrifice. And hand-draw it even if you are not an artist. It will save you money...


...unfortunately, it will cost you lots of sales. Potential readers really do judge books based on their covers. When it comes to covers, unfortunately one needs to brace for the fact that you are going to have to pay for a professional cover. Fortunately, in step two, you might have learned of an artist or photography service that charges reasonable rates.


Step ten: Write adcopy.

Your adcopy, just like your book cover, is the first impression that a potential reader has of your book. Edit the crap out of it. And do not write it on the day that you are uploading (do as I say, not as I do). Remember that you need to know what category your book is in (research where other writers have placed their books--ex. Wicca is not the same as Satanism), and that you can use seven (Amazon) to ten tag words (Smashwords).


Step eleven: Upload files.

I mention my priority of who to upload to in step eight. A bit of advice that I give out from painful experience is: Block out a day to upload to a platform that you have never uploaded to before. You get better at uploading with experience, but the first time will be more painful than you think it will be.


Step twelve: Advertise and network.

This is where you abuse the presence that you set up in step two. Generally, devote as much time as you care to waste on it. I have discovered that a couple of dedicated Facebook pages and my FB wall, using a single ad, is more effective than most of the Facebook sales and promotion pages and groups are. A devoted audience is better than a random group of writers who are busy trying to sell you their own work. Throwing money at this problem comes only after you have shelled out for editing and a decent cover--no amount of money will move a fugly bad book without a dedicated audience. (Please note that bad books can sell if you have been a complete whore in step two. My proof? Fifty Shades of Grey.)

Step thirteen: Sell a single copy of your book.

And this is what it is all about. Selling a single copy of your book to someone who is not a close personal friend, lover, or close relative. Ideally, you want the joy of selling a copy to someone that you have never met or interacted with. And note that some writers never accomplish this step.

Step fourteen: Claim to be a famous best selling occult author.


We both know that it is a lie; but if you don't poke fun at me when I do it, I will try to return the favor. After all, we have both seen each other's Amazon sales rank (with some basic math, I can figure out your daily sales); therefore, we both know that we wasted a whole bunch of time that would have been better spent writing erotica or flipping burgers. But what us writers know, our adoring fans do not need to know.

You drove me into the conspiracy

[This post is being written on September 27, 2012--and it is a prediction of the HOGD/AO reaction to the fact that a book of Commentaries on the Golden Dawn Flying Rolls has been published. I am writing it now because I am sure if what I am predicting comes true, I will not feel like being even this polite.]

Yes, I willingly volunteered to write a commentary on one of the Golden Dawn Flying Rolls when a member of the "evil conspiracy" asked me to. Yes, I knew that the profits were going to the Golden Dawn Legal Defense Fund. And yes, I knew who else were writing commentaries.

Well, the first statement is true. The other two statements were good guesses on my part. (I saw a partial "proof" copy just a couple of days ago, so I know that my guesses were true.) I will admit that I didn't ask certain questions once I heard that it was a "non-profit" community project, and that Nick Farrell was involved.

Now, I do not necessarily agree with everything that Nick says. I think that he knows this. For one thing, him and me have different opinions about what goes into running an esoteric Order--I suspect this is because I come from the "back of the bookstore" and "let's talk about this over coffee" schools of training; in many ways, his training was better than mine (not hard to accomplish at all). For a second thing, Nick casts Samuel Macgregor Mathers in the role of evil genius; I am not sure that Mathers was nearly as conscious of the effects that his instructions would have. (I will talk more about that in another blog post--if I haven't already by the time this entry is actually published.)

So why would I willing volunteer for this project, especially when I knew that it would get me labeled as a member of an evil conspiracy.

Because the HOGD/AO has already claimed that I am a member of the evil conspiracy.

When I was asked to volunteer for this project, it was just after the little McTroll name-calling session that occurred after the Biased Book Review Battle of 2012 (aka Nick Farrell's positive book reviews must be all written by members of an evil conspiracy--no one could actually think that Farrell's books had any real merit). In the case of that battle, I got labeled as a "McTroll."

After being labeled a member of the conspiracy (which I wasn't) and having my reputation dragged through the mud--yes, I willingly volunteered to do this project.

I did briefly think about withdrawing from the project when the HOGD/AO announced their Peace and Harmony Pow Wow. Clear up to the second that I realized that peace between me and the HOGD/AO meant me ceasing to write about anything occult.

In particular, two comments kept me in the project. The first one was by an anonymous commenter, who lumped me into a list of bad writers and bloggers.

It is a laundry list of who the HOGD/AO considers to be agents for the conspiracy.

A couple of people on this list are friends of mine. And a couple of them I would love to work with, even if it is only getting an article into the same book as them. Plus, lets be honest, they have influenced my approach to magic and Golden Dawn more than Griffin ever has.

The second comment got my Irish up. (Note, both of these comments were made after the HOGD/AO announced their peace effort...hence, my opinion that only my complete disappearance would be classified as peaceful from their viewpoint.) And it is by Griffin's own wife. Even assuming that she was reacting to a death threat, I found it highly disturbing as a writer.

Now, let's be honest--I do not agree with her base opinion that I was hurting the egregore of Golden Dawn, especially the part of it that belongs to the HOGD/AO. But her tone implied that they (the HOGD/AO) can do anything that they want and not have to apologize for it, while the rest of us need to get permission for everything that we do.

(For the record, the part in red is my personal commentary...for it describes how I felt about the comments.)

Having dragged my reputation through the mud, and labeling me an "evil conspiracy member"---it was natural for me to say, "Yes" to a project that I knew was going to be classified a plot by the conspiracy.

In fact, I am not sure that I would have qualified to be involved in this project if it wasn't for the HOGD/AO. After all, I was a neutral clear up until they decided to declare me a member of the conspiracy for giving Nick's book a positive review. And let's be honest, I never bothered to prove that I was a Golden Dawn expert, preferring to remain a lunatic with a soapbox. I honestly think that the HOGD/AO labeling me a McTroll got me this gig.

So I would like to give the HOGD/AO a big thanks for labeling me a member of the conspiracy, and allowing me to get involved in this latest project. I learned a heck of a lot from this project, and it is going on my resume.

Send me a muse (HP-31 Day 27)

[Inspired by classical mythology]

Mighty Apollo, shining one
Send me your muses to inspire and enlighten me
To quicken my thoughts and guide my hand
As I pick up pen and paper, and keyboard too
To write and entertain, to convince and inform.

Calliope, bearer of the wax tablet
Guide my hand and steady my mind
When I bend my attention
To the writing of epics
And the woobly bits of science.

Euterpe, bearer of the double flute
Guide my hand and attune my ear
When I form lyric poetry
Forming the medicine of the mind
And distilling the magic of the soul.

Erato, bearer of the small lyre
Guide my hand and enflame my heart
When I inscribe erotic enchantments
Of flaming desires and heaving bosoms
Of love overcoming all obstacles.

Melpomene, wearer of the frowning mask
Guide my hand and humble my soul
When I record tragedies great and small
Birth, death, and the life between
All is sorrow, all is waste.

Thalia, wearer of the laughing mask
Guide my hand and quicken my tongue
When I become the jester among the grim
Precious stones, metals rare, exotic life
None are as valuable as a smile.

Polyhymnia, veiled thinker
Guide my hand and correct my soul
When I expound upon sublime mysteries
Heaven, hell, purgatory, all the manifold worlds
Reflect the truths of the human spirit.

Teripsichore, bearer of the large lyre
Guide my hand and expand my breath
When I write of songs and dancing
Gravity and motion, cause and effect
All things spring from the first point.

Clio, bearer of the ancient scroll
Guide my hand and sharpen my reason
When I trend upon the march of history
Of great men and the myth of progress
Coincidence and flawed minds drive us all.

Urania, bearer of the celestial globe
Guide my hand and extend my imagination
When I create stellar empires and alien civilizations
And myths of star ships crossing the abyss
The stars incline, they do not compel.

Oh mighty Apollo, shining one
Oh great muses, daughters of lightning
I call upon you to inspire and enlighten
For I am a writer, an artist, a creator
A child of the imagination with ink-stained hands.

Dark Enochiana

Last night, one of my writer friends mentioned that someone was looking for Dark Enochiana material. Of course, my first question was "What the hell is Dark Enochiana?!" To which my friend responded, "Exactly, what I wondered."

Our best guess is that it must be Enochian magic that is ran though a big meat grinder turned by clowns to produce a darker, scary version of the Enochian system. Kind of like what one writer said about Enochian when he stated that the whole purpose of the Enochian system was to open the gates of hell and bring about the upcoming Christian apocalypse. You know the nasty say the spell, the walls start to bleed, and demons go out murdering people in the street type stuff. Kind of like Harry Potter for Satanists. As if we really need to darken up regular Enochian--they are not exactly the type of spirits that you invite over for tea; and there are plenty of humans killing one another as it is, so we don't really need to summon spirits for that purpose.

The closest that I have ever came to Dark Enochiana is doing extended workings with a spirit that the Christians have labeled a demon (which could be any pagan god or goddess for those of you playing at home), and I used some muddled Enochian when I wrote the chant to summon the evil Woden in my short story, Eye of the Storm (my sole contribution to the Cthulhu Mythos...well, so far). Either one qualifies me to write Dark Enochiana, but I am sure that some people will use these facts to call me a secret Christian and Satanist, instead of the British Traditional Wiccan and pagan that I actually am, and be absolutely positive that I am a Dark Enochianist to boot.

But heck, if there is a big enough market for this stuff, I am quite sure that me and my friend can hack some of it out. It is not like we actually have to make the spells work or even safe for that matter. Look at the success of the Necronomicon, after all--it is more myth than fact. It might be fun--much like teasing a cat with the red dot laser is. Of course, if we do, I am sure that both of us will hide our involvement behind pen-names...because this sounds only one step better than writing Christian Domestic Discipline erotica.

Day 5 of 2nd Annual 31 Days of Halloween Kitties

James Bond Kitty likes his catnip martina shaken, not stirred.

Happy James Bond Day!

Today marks the 50th anniversary of the theater release of the 1962 film, Dr. No--the first film in the James Bond franchise.

And I am looking forward to the release of Skyfall on November 9th.

The first movie I ever remember seeing was The Spy Who Loved Me.

Did this have an effect on me? Yes. One of the series that I am writing is the Basil James series, which is James Bond meets Harry Pottter (my elevator pitch).

In celebration of James Bond Day, I present One Percent Cat pretending to be James Bond.

Free for today only

Shakespheare's Monkey

Today (well technically until Friday September 14, 2012), you can get a free copy of my ebook Shakespeare's Monkey when you enter coupon code EX49A at the checkout. Why free today? Well, one of the stories contained in this volume was based on 9/11--apologizes to the dozen people that I blended together to create the characters (it was creative license)--and today is as good of a day to share that piece of fiction as any other.

Started to write a cult danger book

One of the things about being a writer is that you can tell a lot about what is going on in your life by the stuff that you are writing. Sometimes, it is surprising to see what is coming off of your keyboard.

I have started to outline and write a book about the various troublesome behavior that I consider to be the warning signs that an esoteric group has became or is in danger of becoming a cult.

Gee, I knew that I did not approve of the current campaign being used by a certain group, but I did not realize that I considered it that alarming until I started to outline the chapter list.

Of course, let's be honest---the instance that they decided to go after a fellow writer, I was against them. Professional reasons trumps my normal "I could care less" attitude. And given the fact that everyone that supported the writer, and thought that this Order's tactics were wrong, is now labeled as an enemy...well, it is as good of a time as any to write this particular book.

And there is always someone who will consider a book of this nature to be a personal attack against them, a habit that is going to get a chapter to itself. I remember a couple of years ago, it was Robert Zink and his Order that would have considered me an enemy; now, it is another Order. Give the world another ten years, it will be someone entirely different.

As I stated in my rough draft for the introduction: The bad behavior remains the same; the players merely change.

If I am going to be labeled a villian, then I just as well be a villian. In fact, I am going to be the best villian that I can be. And in my case, I write books filled with poison ink.

(Let's be honest. There is no way you can write a book about the danger signs of cults without being accused of being a villain, no matter how much you focus exclusively on the behavior without naming any actual names of the guilty. And no, this book is not aimed merely at them either, but they are going to claim that it is---just like Zink would have.)