Sunday, July 17, 2011

A set of short rants

It is now time for a series of short rants---otherwise known as "Morgan's lazy way of offending everyone." Yes, it is that time again when several things I have read or heard have annoyed me, but I do not feel like writing whole posts to address the topics individually.

Are you buckled in? Tray in the upright position? Monkey launcher loaded?

Let's us begin.

"I was shocked to learn that the self-help group was merely created to stroke the leader's ego."

Really? I am under the impression that most groups are created to stroke their creator's ego. There are exceptions---most of them involve duct tape and really smart lazy people who decide that person XYZ is the obviously candidate to be the "leader" because they just happened to go to the bathroon before figuring out how to sucker someone else into doing the job instead. But outside of those groups led by people who have been duct-taped into their office by the membership (a good reason not to give members voting rights), most groups only exist to serve their leadership's needs and desires.

Ego, money, and power---the unholy triad of needs that groups fulfil for their leaders. You can slap any purpose you want on a group for the membership, and you will discover that the group also will automatically serve one of these purposes for the leadership...if you are lucky.

If you are unlucky, you will find out that there is something worse than fulfilling the unholy triad. Don't believe me? Oh, fine---here take this grimoire and start reading while I step behind this protective shield. Opps, we need another Neophyte.

"Some people are advising other people not to work with me. Obviously, they are not embracing the light and just want to keep people in the darkness."

Yes, Dalai Lama, it is true---China does not like you.

The sad part is that one of the first signs that some guru is using the group's membership for the unholy triad of needs is the statement that those issuing the warnings about them are themselves evil.

There are two ways to deal with this advice when you recieve it about someone. Refuse to work with anyone you are being warned about. Or attempt to get your some of your own needs fulfilled while working with some low-life crossroad demon. Your choice.

"I have heard that you are some low-life crossroad demon."

What?! No. You shouldn't listen to such things.

"I own the [fill-in-the-blank] tradition."

I am quite sure that you believe that you do. I am also sure that the seventy-two dozen other people who say this statement also believe that they are the sole owners of their tradition. But does the law believe this? And does the spiritual hierarchy believe your claim?

In the case of the exoteric law, you may own the name of a group that is part of the tradition (or claims to be part of the tradition)---but it is unlikely that the law believes that you own the tradition. Why, because a tradition is a set of ideas and procedures. And ideas and procedures are some of the "orphans of intellectual property law." For instance, "copyright does not protect facts, ideas, systems, or methods of operation, although it may protect the way these things are expressed [US Copyright Office]" Why is this? Because it is impossible to have monopoly on an idea. Think about it. The inventor of fire thought he should be paid for life, along with his entire family tree, for creation of such a marvelous invention. The gods, witches and warlords disagreed. You cannot prevent people from learning how to make fire. The only way to protect "ideas and procedures" is to make them trade-secrets, and get people to sign non-disclosure and non-compete agreements. Good luck with that---most intelligent members will run the other way upon hearing this request.

On the esoteric front, do the rituals and procedures of your system produce no results when they are done without your approval? Do the archangels and the guardian of the esoteric traditions, Bilifo, prevent your secret methods working in the hands of others? Again, non-disclosure and non-compete agreements are your only option. And that might not work if Bilifo and the spirits of the tradition decide that it is time for someone else to develop your system further. After all, they do answer to a higher power than you.

"Properly educated and trained scholars have never properly studied my tradition."

Quick question---would you actually allow a properly educated and trained scholar to see the inside of your tradition without signing a non-disclosure agreement?

If the answer is no, then shut up. Scholars can only build their studies from information that they have access to. When no access to the secret knowledge, information, and knowledge is provided, then they must make do with less-than-satisfactory published sources. Of course, their work is going to be wrong, but you are the one that keeping them from accessing the really important information.

And if the answer is yes, then shut up. If your tradition is worthy of study and scholars actually do have access to good information, it is only a matter of time before some scholar does a proper study of your tradition. Of course, it might take a hundred years before the academic community sees the light, but that is only because scholars fight as much among themselves as occultists do.

"My tradition should have never became the subject of academic study."

Then your tradition needs to build a time machine, and go kill all your past members who made the mistake of becoming famous. And in the future, never allow anyone in who might get up off the sofa and actually make something of themselves. Sure, your tradition will be lame, but at least you won't be bugged by those insufferable scholars. Of course, it might be hard to actually build a time machine while sitting on the sofa, eating bon-bons and watching cable television.

"The politicans never are concerned about the needs and desires of my tradition. And for some reason, none of the members of my tradition have two dimes to rub together."

Obviously, yours is a tradition that does not want to be the subject of future academic study.

"People have published secret docments that should have remained secret."

You dislike scholars and the leaders of occult sheep, right? Again, time machine.

"You seem to think that a lot of problems could be solved with a time machine. Are you merely trying to get someone to build a time machine, so that you can steal it?"

Next question.

"What would you do with a time machine?"

Me? Sweet innocent me? I would use a time machine wisely, unlike some of the politicans and other occult leaders I could name. I would use only for the greater good, to further the greater good of humanity, and never for the purposes of gaining fame, money and power. I would be a responsible scholar of the universe, exploring time and space for the pleasure of increasing human knowledge. For instance, I would go back in time, kill Crowley and Yeats, borrow documents from the original Rosicrucians, making sure to kill everyone's grandfather that thought about publishing any RC and Golden Dawn secrets.

"How about Regardie? Would you kill him?"

No need to kill him. Without Crowley, Regardie would have never heard of Golden Dawn.

"You are aware that no one would have ever heard of the Rosicrucian and Golden Dawn traditions if you did that?"

Yeah, I will admit that it would be a pretty lame recruitment plan. But it would be truly a secret tradition, wouldn't it? And it would so prevent people from creating groups using the tradition to fulfill their unholy triad of needs.

"Do you think that there is anyone you have not upset yet?"


Launch monkeys!


"You are some low-life crossroad demon, ain't you?"

Who is your grandfather?


Anonymous said...


Solitary Dawn said...

Oh, this is sweet

Lavanah said...

Dear Gods, I loved this!

J.C. said...

Wow. You know what, I had a blog in the same spirit that I've been mulling over, but you said it way better than I was able to get it. I was going more in the direction of dogma in esoteric circles.

Deanna Bonds said...

Great rants. Sometimes you have to say what needs to be said.

Scott Stenwick said...

The inventor of fire thought he should be paid for life, along with his entire family tree, for creation of such a marvelous invention.

The beautiful thing about this is that based on statistical analysis,
if you're talking about an ancestor who lived that long ago as long as they had children everyone currently alive is pretty likely to be related to them.

So upholding intellectual property rights in perpetuity gives us a whole new economic model - any time anybody lights a fire we all get paid! Awesome. That's some brave new world the RIAA and MPAA are trying to implement.

Tabatha said...