Friday, September 23, 2011

The Irish can also burn

I learn something new everyday. Today I learned that the Irish can also die of spontaneous combustion.

What did you think that I was going to talk about?! Feeding hot curries and mexican food to the Irish, perhaps?

An 76 year-old Irish pensioner, Michael Faherty was found face down, burnt in his apartment with only the floor below him, his body, and the ceiling above him damaged. The coroner decided to rule it a case of spontaneous combustion, which is a first in Ireland.

The fire in the fireplace was ruled out as the source of the it just me that wonders how they ruled it out as a possible source?

My new personal theory about sponteous combustion, based on the fact that most of them happen near a open fireplace or chimney (a fact that I did not know before today), is that salamanders are responsible for sponteous combustions. Those impish lizard-like fairies crawl out of fireplaces and burn those people who have not been burning their preferred type of firewood. It is a simple solution, isn't it? And we all know how bad tempered fairies are.

Of course, this theory does beg the question of why we do not see more sponteous combustions happening in Ireland. After all, Irish faires are known for their bad tempers. My answer to that question is that Irish fairies are fond of drinking, give them enourgh liquid refreshment and they leave you alone.

Is it too late to revise my theory from wrong chocie of firewood to wrong choice of liquid refreshment?


Frater Yechidah said...

I know that guy, he was a Philosophus. I told him not to spend so long in that grade...


Scott Stenwick said...

Salamanders? Don't be silly. Everybody knows that spontaneous combustion is caused by an overdose of phlogiston.