Are people still binding the greatest President ever?

Are people still binding the greatest President ever?

Uh...yes.

A big shout-out to tonight's Trump binders.

Is Donald Trump the only politician that this has ever happened to?

Uh..no.

There was Hitler.

Reader's Digest March 1914.

Am I following this because it entertains me?

Uh...maybe.

After all, there is nothing like watching someone scream "Witchhunt!" repeatedly to remind oneself that they have no clue what a real witchhunt looks like.

Wands! Wands for every witch! Free whenever Trump screams Witchhunt!

Am I still taking part in this? Have I ever taken part in this? Is this a slow news day?

Uh...maybe...maybe...maybe.

Keep calm and keep binding the bastard. 

Am I going to get angry comments and have massive defriendings because I dared to remind people about this?

Duh--of course, I will.

I, the mighty Hog Dee totally think that the President can do no wrong--remember that America is all about exploiting the weak to enrich the wealthy. 

And why am I daring to invoke the wraith of the Holy Trumpers and the Society to Build the Biggest Wall Ever!?!?

Uh...because I disagree with the actions and goals of this President--goals which still seem to be built on hate, paranoia and fear. And greed--let's not forget the greed and ego--the greatest greed and ego ever to grace the Oval Office.

Happy Trump Bind Day!

Bind Trump bizarre ritual (Why the spike?)

Overnight, this video (my July 4th 2016 video) had a spike in views overnight. And I have no idea why...beyond the fact that I have heard that there might be a serious "bind Trump" global witchcraft ritual happening later this week. So call out all your fanatic Trump fans to make a protective wall around Donald "Jesus" Trump, the most bestest President that the United States has ever had.

Duck Greasy on Deviled Islamic Eggs Kegger List (Breaking Eggs!)

Breaking eggs! Hold the garlic press!

World’s greatest lover and most interesting dish, Duck Greasy, revealed today the scorching news that he, the most excellent Duck Greasy, and his missus Lettuce Mac&Cheese, were on the Deviled Islamic Eggs kegger list.

That’s right, Deviled Eggs went to party down with Duck Greasy by buying him a Tombstone pizza and a Coors Light.

The amazing creamy source of this news is Amorous HoneyGlazed, Duck Greasy’s own right hand ham.

Duck Greasy has long been the envy of curries.

After a cooking time of two decades, Duck Greasy came out of the oven recently. During that long cooking time, Duck Greasy was basted by and basted many culinary delights, including Sugar and Spice Cream Lattes, and was judged by a jury of his pears to be the biggest crab apple of them all. 

And only two years ago, Melon Glazer, bacon freak extraordinaire, put Duck Greasy on her personal chopping list, saying that he reminded her of an overcooked purple eggplant. 

This was shortly accompanied by the falling of Greasy’s own best friend Free Samples, the pineapple upside down cake, when someone fell down the stairs—an act that required Greasy to accept Pax grocery store coupons.

Duck Greasy, the owner of Mashing 101, and the forgotten order of Apples and Oranges, has long been burnt by his saturated fire whiskey. Only today, he caught a Papaya in the bushes, a remarkable feat considering that the Papaya was in a warehouse hundreds of miles away. And only yesterday, Roast Onions insisted that his point of sales photo was actually a bowl of chunky soup filled with marbles. 

When asked why he was on the Deviled Islamic Eggs kegger list, Duck Greasy answered that it was because he boiled the Eggs during a Sunday School breakfast, and that he was proud to be a source of flatulence and the enemy of scallions. Free chickens and grilled snake meat for everyone, he screamed, as he posted recipes on Fresh Box, the social media choice of turnips.

It should also be noted that as a proud National Radish Association supporter and black bacon hater, Duck Greasy has long been on the Fresh Bear Intestines’ and National Salmon Association’s rot lists. But it should be noted that most omelets end up on the rot lists, so it is not a really a big tart to have accomplished that level of interest in the culinary world.

Remember to follow Duck Greasy on Fresh Box, for his latest setting off of the fire alarms---honey, dinner is ready! Hand me the fire extinguisher, peas. And be sure to request his Ten Recipes Guaranteed to Give Your Relatives Food Poisoning, all of which involve green eggs and ham with a fox in a box. 

This report has been the product of LSD laced pot brownies.

Is 100K actually needed to study Freemasonry?

Over the last few years, I have noticed an alarming trend in occultism: Some students believe that they should get everything for free---as in esoteric Orders, groups, teachers, and writers should not get a dime from the students. These are the same type of students who do not believe in doing daily exercises or memorizing the basic terms. I thought that I saw the worst of it a couple of months ago when someone suggested that magical Orders should pay their students to be members.

Well, I was wrong.

Last night during one of my moderator runs on Facebook, I ran across a pending post that made me realize that it could get so much worse.

Now for those who have not heard my rant: Running an esoteric Order (group) costs money---candles, rent, handouts, etc. all cost money. And writing a book and teaching takes a person away from activities that would result in a paycheck. And I feel that it is unfair for the students to get these services for free, placing the entire monetary burden on occult leaders, especially when occult leaders have to shell out money for things like groceries.

Plus there is also the little fact that I had to pay for lessons, books, materials, and membership dues, as well as pass my Grade exams--therefore, I do not see why the modern generation of students should get a free ride. Yes, I believe that modern occult students should suffer as much as I did coming up the ranks.

In other words, I am an asshole who does not realize that modern students are vastly superior in wisdom to me, and that I am blessed to be in the mere presence of such enlightened souls.

How much of an asshole am I?

Take for instance, last night's post.

Here is a lad advertising a GoFundMe campaign to help him collect the money neccessary to buy materials to study the Masonic symbols. He shared his ad with over twenty Facebook groups. And he is only asking for a mere 100K (one hundred thousand dollars).

Yes, I said 100K.

What the hell is he trying to study? Primary sources? Handwritten manuscripts? George Washington's wig? Maybe he thinks that he needs to own a lodge.

Or maybe, my inner asshole says, he is trying to get other people to pay him not to work and be a full time student of Freemasonry. And by full time, I mean he sits on the sofa reading internet posts and never once steps into a lodge.

For the life of me, I can't figure out why this person is so special that we should fund their esoteric career. And yes, I looked at what little they had public on their Facebook profile , and there is nothing to indicate that this person is the next Albert Pike. I am not even sure that he is a member of a Freemason lodge....and that would be the first step to understanding Freemasonry, or so I would think.

But if you think that I am wrong, feel free to donate funds to him.

Or better yet, start up a GoFundMe campaign to pay me 100K not to make fun of him. It can't be good for his studies that people like me are using him as fodder on a slow news day. Think of the number of special snowflake students you could save from the likes of me if you funded me to....pet cats all day long...go back and get my Masters in a completely useless degree (either history or literature)...go to Rome and annoy Nick Farrell...help out my wife in the art studio...run naked though a Broncos game...the possiblities are endless---hell, toss enough money at me (100K, come on people!), and I might even finish the artwork for the Tarot deck that I am working on. And if you like, I can claim to be studying Freemasonry while I am doing so. After all, if you give me 100K, I too can be a special snowflake.

Remember special snowflakes need you to fund them, so that they get all the esoteric wisdom and knowledge for free.  Don't listen to those asshole occult teachers who believe that money should flow to the teacher and not towards the student.

#specialsnowflakesmatter

And he spammed this across 20+ FB groups last night.

100K to learn more about Freemasonry. 

Do I really need to say that I am not a Nazi?!

[This blog post was in response to a blog post written by Donald Michael Kraig.]

Yesterday, Donald Michael Kraig wrote a blog post asking Golden Dawn leaders to come out and state that the esoteric tradition of Golden Dawn has nothing to do with the Greek political party of Chrysi Augi (which may have possible Neo-Nazi leanings). Kraig also wanted Golden Dawn leaders to state whether or not they support the ideals and goals of the Chrysi Augi.

Why? Because the Greek name "Chrysi Augi" translates into English as "Golden Dawn."

My first reaction to his post was to ignore it. Only later when I saw that it was a hot-button issue that I considered changing my mind. Honestly, I still want to ignore it--just like I ignored several others who have became concerned about this issue (which is basically that the news media decided to use the label "Golden Dawn" instead of using the proper name for the Greek political party "Chrysi Augi"--yes, this is all about lazy journalists).

Honestly, do any of us really need to come out and openly have to say that we are not Neo-Nazis?! or that the esoteric tradition of Golden Dawn has nothing to do with the Chrysi Augi outside of the misfortunate choice of names. (And we had the name first--1888 baby!)

Ok, maybe. There have been some Nazi and right wing supporters during the course of the history of the esoteric tradition that we know as Golden Dawn (Crowley springs to mind for some reason). And there have been rumors generated by some of the more hostile modern members that some of the other members (outside of their choice group, of course) are actually Neo-Nazis (there are also rumors that we all are in the employ of the SRIA and/or secret Satanists).

For the record, I am not a Nazi, Neo-Nazi, or a Pro-Nazi. Nor am I a member of the SRIA or an agent of their system. As for the Satanist part...well, according to some/most/all Christians if you do not worship Jesus, then you are a Satanist...so by that standard, I probably am...even if I do not believe in Satan personally.

Of course, some will point to my small collection of books on World War II, including two about Nazi uniforms, and tell you that I am lying. Why? Because it suits their purposes to have you believe that I am a Nazi, or a member of the SRIA, or a Satanist. After all, I dislike them, therefore I have to be evil.

So believe what you will...because you are going to anyways, right? It does not matter that I come from a line of Jews who became Catholics to avoid being burnt at the stake; if you do not want to believe the truth, you are not going to.

The official response to Kraig's request can be read on the official BIORC blog.

Dear Broncos fans of the muggle variety

Let the taunting begin.

Dear Broncos fans of the muggle variety,

We are so sorry that you are upset that the NFL decided to hang up pictures of the Baltimore Ravens' quarterback downtown and on the side of the stadium. But some of us feel more supportive of the Ravens than we do of the Denver Broncos. It is nothing personal--it is just when you talk about sports that do not happen on broomsticks, us wizards tend to decide who to cheer for based solely on the totems and colors, and where we live doesn't matter so much. And I like ravens better than I like horses, plus their team colors are nicer. This is also true of the Minnesota Vikings--I like their totem and colors better too. I know that this type of logic eludes you muggles, just like the fact that football is so f***ing boring! But please try to keep it in mind when I am cheering for someone other than your local sport teams.

P.S. The only exciting football in human history is of the zero gee variety; and sorry, I still can't cheer for Denver in that time period because my favorite team is the London Jets. I don't imagine you muggles understand time travel either. Again, sorry that your feelings are bent out of shape.

Sincerely,

The Wizard of Cook St.

Magic butter

My mind just goes to wrong places when I think about Magic Butter.

In the sidebar on Facebook a few minutes ago, I saw an ad for the Facebook page for Magic Butter. And yes, my mind went to a wrong place...twice in a row.

One, I live in Colorado where we have medical marijuana, and sort-of have recreational marijuana (large parts of the state is busy making sure that you can't buy it in their neighborhood).

Two, I write erotica--yes, go say Yecch! and complain to the world that I am a nasty person who should not be in Golden Dawn (exactly what do you want me to do for a living?).

Anyways, there is a point to all this...or at least, I think there is.

This botanical extractor makes medicinal butters, oils, and tinctures. And it costs one hundred and eighty dollars.

And I would need it why? (Yes, that is my point here.)

Oh, c'mon now--you thought it too.

All of us who have taken an alchemy class or an extended herb class know how to do this in our kitchens, right? Surely, I am not the only one that had a High Priestess cover the basics of this one, right? If hard pressed, I am quite sure that I could teach the method--and everyone knows that I am a lousy esoteric teacher--so I am quite sure that if you have someone in your lodge/Order who have taken a class, they can teach the class also. We should be knee deep in Golden Dawn magical butter, and probably are...

And if not, well, I guess you can buy a MB2...personally, I can't afford to buy one because my cats are eating me out of house and home.

But I will admit that I wonder how magical butter tastes on wheat-free toast.

You can use Magic Butter to make yummy food.

Evil croissants banned by Muslims

A religious committee in the town of Aleppo, Syria has just banned croissants, forbidding Muslims from eating them. Why? Because the crescent symbolizes European victory over the Muslims, and is a sign of colonial oppression.

Seriously, I am not making this up.

And all this time, I thought it was just a French thing. I didn't realize that it was a snotty French thing. Well, I knew it was snotty...because it is French; but I did not know that it was twirl your little pencil moustache and laugh at the poor helpless natives you conquered snotty. I imagine that slapping an egg, cheese and some ham or bacon or both (actually skip the egg, and just leave the cheese, ham and bacon on mine) is even worse...well, it is not kosher, which may or may not make it less snotty. But it is the shape that makes it snotty, and evil, and which mocks the conquered. Now, I know ("And knowing is half the battle--GI JOE!"). I have the sudden urge to serve croissants at the next open full moon ritual I led (which may or may not be in December--long story short, I might be pitch-hitting in December unless someone volunteers to do the OFM ritual). That is probably wrong, isn't it?

So how can we make croissants be about the oppression of the upright and noble by the evil SRIA?

(Oh, c'mon now--I can't be the only one that thought that when seeing this story.) 

Please leave your comments about how evil and insensitive I am to the insanities of religion and the noble seekers of truth, light and justice. I promise to read the comments while snacking on fresh croissants, expensive cheese, sipping on fine wine, and laughing in a horrible French accent while twirling my moustache.

[Full disclosure: I have a Frenchman in my family tree--I am allowed to mock the French. As for everyone else insulted by this post, I am not sure how else to treat the barking mad.]

Stonehenge is looking for a manager

Need a job? Good at management and bossing people around? Know a lot about the esoteric practices and beliefs of the druids?

There is a job waiting for you with English Heritage. English Heritage is looking for a general manager to oversee the Stonehenge site.

Tim Reeve, English Heritage's Historic Properties Director, states in the online announcement, "We are looking for a dynamic and inspirational person to welcome the million plus visitors to Stonehenge each year including the tens of thousands who celebrate the sun-rise there every Summer Solstice." Plus they are about to open the new visitor center, so there will be even more visitors in future years.

Now, personally I don't know enough about Stonehenge to apply for the job. After all, I believe that Stonehenge is part of a large trap to catch a particular pesky time traveler. I am quite sure that is not the type of knowledge that they want their general manager to gravitate towards.

But still, maybe one of my readers would be a perfect fit for the job. And if so, please remember that I told you about the job opening first...because it might help me get some decent photographs of Stonehenge that I can use in a book someday.

As if we need a Hatfields and McCoys reality show

The feud between the cat and dog just got serious.

[File this under "It is only funny if you spent any time watching the feud between the various GD leaders--no one else will get the joke."]

The History Channel has decided to develop a reality show starring the modern-day descendants of the infamous Hatfield-McCoy blood feud. I am sorry--we need this, why?! If I wanted to watch a blood feud, I have the internet and twenty years of prime time feuding among Golden Dawn members to amuse myself with.

Or I could get involved in the little feud that two of my (biological) sisters are engaged in. There is no way that is going to end well any time soon. (Hey, I trained to feud with the best--my biological family. Sorry to any family member that might be reading this--of course, I have no idea why my biological family would be reading this.)

Seriously, why would I want to watch this? Has the History Channel ran out of Nazis and little green pyramid building aliens?! (Again, one needs to have watched our little occult community to get the joke.)

The only thing missing from this idea is cameras in badly ran restaurants that are named after something that front rhymes with McCoy--and I don't think that anyone can get Gordan Ramsey to step into one of those fast food places...oh, wait, I thinking of FOX, ain't I? Or am I thinking Golden Dawn?! (Yes, another in-joke for the people who watch the train wrecks in our esoteric community.)

So yes, I am looking forward to this reality series--just like I am looking for the next outbreak of the Black Death and the flames of the next internet occult war. How about you? Are you looking forward to it?

No death threats for me

Assassin Cat readies his lasers and claws--just in case, I decide not to feed him.

[The following post is written much along the lines of someone who has escaped food poisoning when all his friends are busy trying to have their stomachs crawl out of them. It is not that the writer wants food poisoning, bad luck, or death threats; it is merely the curiosity that a writer gets when he notices that there is a plague in the area, and it has somehow skipped his house...one cannot help be curious about why one is so lucky. In other words, don't send me a death threat...unless you absolutely must.]

Yesterday was the second time this year, I noticed a Golden Dawn leader talking about recieving threats. And over the years, I have heard of other threats. Most seem to be along the line of the Ancient Siberian Curse ("If I tell you that I cursing you, maybe you will catch a round of bad luck"). And some of the results seem to be along the lines of "I am so important; people must be trying to kill me."

The regularity of impeding curses and threats makes me wonder if I am the only person in Golden Dawn who has never got a death threat. Ok, I mean a death threat originating from inside the estoteric community--domestic violence, living in a rough neighborhood, and running a cash register does not count for the purposes of this post.

Still one wonders how I have been so lucky. Oh sure, my little blog here has gotten some people so mad that they wanted to fry it out of existence...as if that would do more than slow me down (I have other soapboxes to use to air my loony opinions).

My current conclusion is the simple fact that I am not a leader in the esoteric community, merely a lunatic with a soapbox. It is not like anyone takes me seriously. Or expects me to ever threaten their organizations. After all, you very seldom see a court jester try to become a king.

Therefore, those people in the Golden Dawn community who are recieving threats of curses, impeding doom and death, must be the real deal...because one would never threaten someone who was faking it, would you? Recieving a death threat, or warning of being cursed, or bound by magic, is a badge of honor in the esoteric community--sort of like being named the village goat.

Anyway, if this post somehow upsets you, please remember that the thing I find most frightening and dangerous is a fruit cake. And assassin cat would really hate to recieve some expensive cat food. Oh, and my wife is horrified when she sees money, especially in the form of jewelry orders.

Breaking News: The Startling Truth about Internet Cat Pictures

Revealed at last--the reason the internet has so many cat photos on it.

Breaking News! This just in. The Amazing Golden Dawn Newshound, Morgan Drake Eckstein, has uncovered a conspiracy that affects all of you. Please sit down as he reveals the shocking truth about why there are so many cat photos on the internet.

This story is being told by a digitual journalist (blogger), erotica writer, and leader of the smallest Golden Dawn lodge in Denver, therefore you know that it is the absolute truth.

"I left the house for awhile. I leave the house often during the day to do other things. And like always I left the cats at home. It is just something that you do. And yes, the computer was on. Sort-of. It was in sleep mode."

"Then I come home to discover that one of the cats is on the computer. And on Facebook. The cat was sharing cat pictures on Facebook using my account. Pretending to be me. The traitor! I wonder what else he does on the internet while I am away. Does he run a Nigerian scam? Does he belong to dog-hate groups? He must be doing other things that I disapprove of when I am gone. Sharing cat pictures on the internet must be only the tip of the iceberg. Here I am, wondering why people keep telling me that I share too many cat photos. And I am like, I don't share that many. And now, I learn that my cat is on Facebook, pretending to be me, sharing cat photos as if he was me. It is wrong, I tell you, completely wrong."

Now, being the fair minded journalist that I am, I asked my cat for a response. And you know it is the truth, because as a digitual journalist, erotica writer, and leader of the smallest Golden Dawn lodge here in Denver, I would never lie and just make something up to make someone look bad--would I?

The cat replied, "You dirty rat! Liar! I was just leaning on the computer key board. You were right there. So was your wife. Quit twisting around what happened to make yourself look good. You know that you spend hours on the internet, cruising Facebook, looking at cat pictures. Don't try to blame me for your cat fetish. And quit twisting my words around. I bet that you kiss dogs with that mouth."

After that I asked the cat if he could forgive me and live in peace under the same roof.

To this, he replied, "Maybe if you buy me fresh shrimp every night, I can. But I don't know--I still think that you might secretly love dogs."

So now, you my loyal readers know the truth. Cats are the ones who are sharing too many cat photos on the internet. Not I. Because I would never think of blaming the type of behavior I do on someone else. And you know that you can trust me because I have a blog.

"You are a dog-kissing liar!" replied the cat.

A computer could write this blog

The Secret Chiefs of the Golden Dawn will see you now.

I am a writer---I think that most of my readers know this. And I read lots of blogs, including some in the publishing/writing field. Today, I was reading a blog post over on Galleycat about how Forbes has joined the horde of 30 companies now using the Narrative Science software to write their stories.

(Yes, I have decided that a group of 30 companies is a horde. It is either a horde or a government. And either way, you are probably not going to like what they are doing.)

Anyway, I find myself wondering if I could be replaced by a computer program. Could a computer write this blog? Would you be able to tell the difference?

And in my case, yes---a computer could write as intelligently as I do; after all, most of my jokes are not funny. Just throw in a whining attitude and a few cat photos and BLAM! you would not be able to tell the difference.

Come to think of it, there are several other bloggers you could replace with a whiny attitude and a few pictures. No names mentioned---you know who they are. Heck, the entire esoteric blogosphere could be replaced by a machine. It is not like you cannot predict what various bloggers and commenters are going to say. It can't be that hard to program a computer to do the writing instead. For that matter, we could replace all those pesky Secret Chiefs with a computer too---it is not like most of us would know the difference provided that they continued to take our money.

Don't believe me?! Just think about the number of books that you have read that are just rip-offs of Agrippa, Regardie or Crowley. Think of the number of Golden Dawn websites that are just clones of these writers. (I am beginning to believe that Agrippa is the most pirated occult writer in history.)

And the critics of this cloning---the Secret Restoration Crowd---who argue that we must change everything, so that everything is absolutely secret, you have read their posts also, right? You can predict what they are going to say next, right?

See, we could all be replaced with computers, the entire occult blogosphere. And given the amount of time that some of us spend on this stuff, we should really encourage someone to write a computer program to replace us. I wonder if I could raise money on Kickstarter to do this project.

Most anonymous blogs could be written by machines.

Slow GD News week isnt it?

I was worried that something interesting might happen in the Golden Dawn blogosphere while I was busy writing all the papers that I had to do for this semester's finals. Turns out that was a needless fear--so far, I have only came across an "April's Fool post" and a rerun. Obviously, it has been a slow news week for Golden Dawn. So, I guess I will just have to give you a bonus Christmas kitty---thank the lack of flames for all the Xmas Cats you are getting.

What is such a nice cat doing with such a creepy guy?

Remember to give a shout out in the comment section if you are a fan of the show.

Jumping on the New Age and LoA Bandwagon

Hear ye! Hear ye!

Let it be known that Morgan Drake Eckstein, the slimest type of writer (one that would like to occasionally get paid for his writing), has jumped onto the New Age and Law of Attraction Bandwagon. All should avoid reading his ebooks. His expulsion from the ranks of honest occultists and decent Golden Dawn leaders will happen on the next slow Golden Dawn news day.

Message ends.

Or so it will go as soon as some critic decides to get upset with me because I said something that they did not like. Let's be honest, I have several strikes against me.

First, I am one of those writers who occasionally would like to make enourgh from my writing to pay for my cats' food bill. This desire to be paid has only increased this semester, thanks due to a major foul-up in the student loan system.

(In fact, if you would like me to quit writing short occult ebooks for the rest of the semester, please help the rest of my loan money get to my bank account. Heavens knows I would rather be focused on finishing up my senior year, so that I can move on to the masters program. If I am busy in school, I will not have time to annoy you.)

(And if you are one of my friends, help me get the rest of my loan money into my bank account. That way I do not have to go begging to feed my cats.)

Second, I am one of those occultists who did not burst into flames when I read The Secret. In fact, I can see how it would relate to magical work...through I will admit that I do not completely agree with how most people view the Law of Attraction.

Third, I am one of those people who tends to treat the various forms of magic as variations on a scheme. For me, Golden Dawn, Wicca, and the New Age are kissing cousins.

Fourth, and worst of all, I honestly think I know what I am talking about. And let's be honest being an opinionated loud-mouth is the greatest crime of them all.

Five Reasons Why Magic Fails now available on Smashwords.

Laughing at Kirk



As most of my readers know, David Griffin of the HOGD/A&O has recently associated himself with Captain James T. Kirk, and his friend, Tomas (SR) with Spock. The association of the Federation with Golden Dawn puzzles me a little because there are moments that I am not sure if it is just his Order that he is connecting it with, or if the association refers to all honest magical branches of the tradition. This association has led to some strange mental moments on my end---now I cannot help but think about Griffin whenever I run across a picture of William Shatner's version of Captain Kirk. Sometimes it leads to me laughing out loud at a picture because it now has a completely new subcontext to me. And this picture is an example of one of those moments. I have no idea whether Griffin would approve of this statement or not ("Diplomacy---Words don't always solve problems. Sometimes you just have to punch an alien in the face."), but I could hear Griffin saying it because of this association. Now I do know that Griffin will see the humor value of it---I must admit that Griffin goes out on a limb occasionally to be able to use a good line or poke some fun at a situation (look to what he was willing to do to be able to use the line, "I am the real McCoy"---that was an association that I wouldn't have touched with a ten-foot pole; both sides of that conflict were out to lunch). I may not agree with Griffin about some things, but I do admire his willingness to go for a laugh.

Advertising or News Suicide After Reading a Book

Today on one of the Golden Dawn message boards, I saw some bizzarre postings that were pretty much gibberish---much like the van down the street that says (written in masking tape) "Hope" and "Underwear" and "Wear clean underwear." Except that the van makes more sense than the replies that I was reading which seemed to be merely random words with a few links tossed in for good measure.
And I found myself wondering if anyone ever actually clicks on the links posted that way. (Heavens knows that Google ignores such links.)

This thought in turn made me wonder about a book inquiry I saw a few months ago---one that I suspect was a secret book advertising campaign.

The inquiry was about whether anyone had read a certain occult book. The person claimed that the book really freaked them out after they read it, and that they also heard that someone committed suicide after reading the book.

Given the fact that the inquiry appeared on several Golden Dawn forums at the same time, and was from a person that none of us had ever seen before, I think that most of us raked it up as an advertising campaign.

When someone pointed out that it seemed to be an advertising campaign, the person claimed not to be the writer. Of course, the proof of the pudding may be that none of us have seen this person post anything ever since. And so it goes.

Of course, it is possible that someone may have committed suicide after reading the book. But I would also like to point out that a lot of people who have committed suicide have also read the Bible. We hardly ever blame the Bible for causing suicides...so one has to consider why that is.

Whenever I have actually seen a book blamed for something, it is either a slow news day (complete with a journalist trying to spice up a story), someone trying to smear a group (ex. playing Dungeons and Dragons causes people to commit suicide and worship the Devil), or someone trying to assign blame to (or explain) some really wanked-out events. For instance, look at the number of video games and movies blamed for school shootings.

By the way, a lot of people do not see the approach of suicide (or mass violence) in others. Anyone who finds an occult book in the library of a loved one who committed suicide or did a violent crime will blame the occult. It is easier for the survivors to blame the occult than to admit that they did not see the long term mental problems that led to the suicide or mass violence.

(People also will blame the occult to explain why someone became the victim of violence. My own family has an example of that tendency.)

Anyways, as I already said, I suspect that the inquiry was merely a ruse to heighten the dark allure of an occult book.

And I wonder if it resulted in any book sales at all. Or did people in the community just ignore the book for the simple reason that it was such a clumsy advertising ploy. I ignored it, and I bet that you did too.

Scott Adams sockpuppet revealed

I was going to continue my Magic the Gathering NOT series tonight, but I am a little tired and the universe delievered a tasty slow news day pizza today. And I find it interesting that it involves sockpuppetry and has nothing to do with the Golden Dawn community. Obvivously, my awe and wonder threshold is set rather low tonight.

Drum roll please---wait for it---Scott Adams has been caught defending himself using a sock puppet on MetaFilter. Cue applause---brace for mocking comments.

Really, Scott?! You had to resort to a sock puppet to defend your work. Wow. Didn't you do a cartoon about this? Oh, yes---you did.

"Asok, we are getting killed by bad customer reviews online. I need you to pretend you're several different customers and write positive reviews....And be sure to defame our competitors."

Ok, you did admit to it. But seriously, you pretended to be your biggest fan for months. Don't you have any actual supporters to defend your work. And shouldn't you be more concerned about creating more work, rather than what critics are saying about you on the internet?

And just because you don't agree with some of the members of a discussion board does not make that discussion board a cesspool.

I tend to agree with Cortex, a moderator on MetaFilter, who told you:

"Scott, if you wanted to sign up for Metafilter to defend your writing, that would have been fine. If you wanted to sign up for Metafilter and be incognito as just another user, that'd be fine too. Doing both simultaneously isn't; pretending to be a third party and high-fiving yourself by proxy is a pretty sketchy move and a serious violation of general community expectations about identity management around here."

 But I would like to thank you for the laugh. Here I thought it was only the dolts in my own corner of the internet that walked around pretending to be other people and defending their own brilliance and peeing on other people. I am glad to see someone who terribly successful do the same. But it does worry me.

I really hope that this does not mean that in order to be super-successful that I need to have a few sock puppets of my own. Because I am super-lazy and like to be able to look at myself in the mirror in the morning.

And Scott, if you read this, feel free to create another sock puppet and make a comment about how wonderful you think I am.

Much to do about how wrong astrology is

This past week, one of the things that went viral on the internet was the tidbit about how the twelve zodiac sign system should really be a thirteen sign system.

I guess it was a slows news day and no one wanted to read about 2012 anymore.

Honestly, this was old news. As in astronomers have been pointing out that astrology is not a science for at least a century...ok, maybe not that long, but at least from the 1960s. And then there was the 1980s. I wonder if I am the only one that remembers the big fuss over Ronald Reagan consulting an astrologer.

Astrologers have known for a long time that the zodiac signs do not match up to the constellations. For about two thousand years. If you are properly trained as an astrologer (in my less than humble opinion), you know that the zodiac you are using bears little relationship to the actual constellations as we know them today. Astrology works despite this. But someone thought that we needed a system to address the problem.

That "new and improved" thirteen zodiac sign system is Constellational Zodiac. There are some problems with it.

But first, what are the other two main zodiac systems?

There is the Tropical Zodiac, which divides the ecliptic (the sun's apparent path though the heavens) into twelve equal parts of thirty degrees apiece. This is your standard Western astrology, including the type most hated by astronomers---sun sign astrology. The Tropical Zodiac ignores precession (the drifting of the Vernal Equinox westward by one degree every 72 years). The Tropical Zodiac setpoint is the Vernal Equinox; it is annually adjusted to be measured from that point in time and space.

The other type is the Sidereal Zodiac. The Sidereal, which is typically used in Eastern astrology, takes in precession. The Sidereal Zodiac is measured from a particular setpoint, typically zero degree of Sidereal Aries, but not always (the RR et AC esoteric version of astrology, a form of sidereal astrology, is measured from Regulus which is considered the zero degree of Sidereal Leo). Those who support the Sidereal Zodiac argue that it keeps the zodiac in line with the constellations. Well, not really---sidereal astrology also divides the ecliptic into twelve equal parts.

Enter the 1990s and the arrival of the Constellational Zodiac. It measures the ecliptic based on the actual constellations. Unfortunately, there are a few problems with this system; all of which seemed to be designed to drive people out of astrology.

First, the constellations that we have today are not the constellations from two thousand years ago. For instance, at one time, the constellation Libra did not exist, and the constellation Scorpio was longer than its current size. The constellations do not take up the same amount of space along the ecliptic either. For instance, Libra is only 21 degrees long (the shortest of the constellations); Virgo, on the other hand, is 46 degrees in length (being one of the longest constellations).

Second, two thousand years ago, the constellation Ophiuchus did not exist. There is also the fact that the entire corpus of astrological lore is based on a twelve sign, 360 degree system. Throwing a 13th sign in means that everything must be rethought and reinvented. For instance, thirteen signs implies that there should be thirteen houses. Of course, that is probably why the astronomers like it---heavens knows that science would like to get rid of esoteric art and philosophy.

Correction (16 Jan 20111): Ophiuchus was known since at least 130 BCE---so the question is why didn't the ancient astrologers use it?

Third, and most importantly, the math to use this system will really s***. I am a professional astrologer (in the sense I get paid to write a monthly astrology column for a college newspaper), and I have no reference tables to figure this new system out. For instance, take a look at the new dates for the signs. See how each sign shares two dates with the adjoining signs? Flip a coin if you are born on those dates.

For the record, I will continue to use the Tropical Zodiac (though I do note where Regulus is---after all, I am a working magician). I don't think that the Tropical Zodiac is busted, and this is despite the little astronomical training I have (college class, some hobby time---what can I say). And if you do want to experiment with constellational astrology, just note where the constellations are in relation to the zodiac system that you already use (much like marking where the fixed star Regulus is).

[I will post a list of the current constellation boundary points are as soon as I figure all of them out. In the meantime, here are the new dates that science would like us to use for the signs.]

Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16

Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11
Pisces: March 11- April 18
Aries: April 18- May 13
Taurus: May 13- June 21
Gemini: June 21- July 20
Cancer: July 20- Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10- Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16- Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30- Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23- Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17- Jan. 20