Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Think before you tweet (Didnt like that career anyways edition)

[Warning--the following was written by a dirty rotten hippie--if you believe that you need a White History month, you may not think that this entry is funny.]

As human beings, we have created rules to survive. 

Rules like: Do not stick pennies into electrical outlets, and Poking a lion with a stick cleans out the gene pool. We need to be told things like this because we are all just biological computers running amok. And in light of changes in society and technology, new rules are rolling off the assembly line everyday. 

For instance, there are now rules to survive on social media without waking up to discover that someone has written "Die witch die!" on your lawn with industrial strength weed killer. So what are the rules?

Rule number one of surviving in Twitter America: If you ain't Trump of the Great Gherkin, think before you tweet.

Why? Because a single tweet in our social media enriched environment can cause you to lose your entire career--past, present, and future--causing you to lose your entire source of income in an instant. 

Case in point: Roseanne Barr.

For those who have missed it, Roseanne Barr decided to tweet "Muslim brotherhood & planet of the apes had a baby=y." ["y" being former Barrack Obama adviser Valerie Jarrett.] 

Now, I am fairly sure that it does not take a degree in rocket science to see how this joke in today's America, with all our rich and varied social media outrage possibilities, could backfire and blow up the entire launch facility, along with oneself in the process. 

Surely, Roseanne knew that there would be a line of outrage; at the very least, some SJWs (social justice warriors) lined up around the block to talk about White Privilege and how jokes about monkeys are not funny. And we all know that is only the lowest setting on the bar, the mere floor of the possible outrage, with the ceiling ranging up into the outer reaches of the atmosphere. Oh, the outrage that this tweet could cause...

Social media is the thunder dome of our civilization--if you are dumb enough to walk into the dome, there is a good chance that you are going to get mangled by lions--people have been known to die at the hands of social media outrage. 

Or at least, people have lost careers to social media outrage.

For instance, take Bill Cosby, America's Dad, seller of frozen pudding, bigly successful, making tons of TV syndication money; his fellow actors on his show also making some good cash from reruns of the show--and with one attack of social media outrage, it was all gone in an instant. The court of public opinion crucified the man, and every television show he was ever in got yanked from reruns. Even if he was never found guilty of being that bastard in a court of law, in the court of public opinion, he was sentenced to never making another dime from his former acting career. Cosby, along with all those who worked with the man in the past, were fined with a penalty of a significant loss of income. 

In an earlier time, Cosby could have survived; but we live in a time when the dog faced demons have taken to the internet to shape public opinion. 

Don't believe me? Let me prove it by making a prediction: At three in the morning, some dog faced demon is going to go online and tweet that ABC made a great big mistake for canceling Roseanne's TV show and that all of the Trump supporters, over fifty percent of the population, or so we have been told, all of them are going to quit watching ABC. It was a bigly mistake, and it is so sad that ABC has joined the deep state liberal media conspiracy factory to censor what real Americans think and believe. If we had real justice in this country, Roseanne would get a Nobel Peace Prize for her willingness to tell you exactly what she thinks--especially considering it is all true. But no, liberals are shutting the conservatives down and totally ruining the best part of free speech which is being able to say whatever you want, as long as you are a good conservative, and not suffer any consequences. The only people that need to be censored are those dirty hippies who believe in a progressive government and that all men are born equal, who have forgotten the greatest truth of them all--white conservatives are the greatest thing since sliced bread, and poor people are why we can't balance the federal budget.

"Because our military is only spending a dollar a day to fight a godzillion wars. Poor people spend far more than that, using welfare that white people are paying for--far, far more, they spend everyday at Starbucks. Where is your outrage about welfare cheats who belong to the Democratic Party?!?"

The only real question is: Will the dog faced demon post this before our most honored, and bestest ever President does? And can the President tweet this out before the Great Gherkin does? The betting window is now open--please place your bets. 

This whole situation is a good example of how much power social media outrage has. 

The revival of Roseanne Barr's sit-com premiered to an audience, somewhere northward of eighteen million viewers. The revival was a shoe-in for instant renewal, and looked good for a long and happy run of new episodes. 

Let me remind you that this was only thirteen days ago. Yes, just thirteen days ago. Before the revival, Roseanne said that she was going to cut down on the political posts. But Roseanne Barr could not help herself, and decided to see if her career was now fire-proof. 

It wasn't.

Her career went up in a fireball. Whoosh!

There are only two people in the world who are immune to social media outrage--Donald Trump and the Great Gherkin. Both have long term contracts clearly saying that they cannot be fired, and that their followers are obligated to believe whatever they say, even when there is evidence that clearly proves that they are wrong. Furthermore, their followers are required by the Constitution itself--go on, read it, and you will see that this is right--their followers have to instantly circle the wagons and defend them from any and all social media outrage. And this is in addition to the fact, that their followers want them to be Leaders-for-Life. They can do no wrong--they are the uber brain for our society, and they will lead humanity into a glorious future without global warming, without green technology, without nuclear war, without dirty filthy hippies smoking dope, the border secure, with only America making money, and where white people living in trailer parks occupy their natural and righteous place on the top of the food chain, ruling the inferior races and political parties, and there is not a single non-Christian left. Glory to Trump and the Great Gherkin, for they have saved white people from the angry hordes of demon inspired mutt Heinz 57 hippies. 

But outside of these two people, everyone else needs to think before they tweet. 

For instance, I could not tweet that the President has giant monkey balls, larger than his hands, so big that he needs several porn stars to hold them for him--I could not tweet that, for his fans would set fire to my yard. 

Nor can I tweet out that the Great Gherkin is just a little pickle in a big jar--for his fans, which number in the millions of billions, would crucify me before burning me for being a traitorous and very dirty hippie, rotten to my core, and a total heretic for not believing that the Great Gherkin is the second greatest person on this planet, with only Donald Trump being a better and more sainted person. 

Outside of these two people, you really need to think before you tweet. And if you will not do it for yourself, think about your loved ones, your friends, and your coworkers.

"Did you know that you are working with a Nazi? How can you live with yourself, knowing that your coworker is a Nazi? If you do not quit your job, if you do not punch the Nazi on the way out, I will boycott your job, no longer doing business with you and your employer, and you will no longer make any money."

Yes, let's just ignore the fact that without a job, I will not make any money either. 

And let's be clear about something, Roseanne Barr did not just torch her own career and bank account--no, she took a flame thrower to everyone's bank account that was associated with her show. If you will not think about yourself, please consider thinking about your coworkers. Just because you think that you are fire-proof, it does not mean that your loved ones are. So for god's sake--think before you tweet. 

If not evil, what do dog faced demons do on the internet? 

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