Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Monopoly Cat wins

Monopoly Cat automatically wins Monopoly.
Back in February, people were asked to vote on what Monopoly token they wanted to replace, and what they wanted to replace it with. In the end, the Iron token was replaced with a Cat token. The Cat received 31 percent of the vote...which is just further proof that cats are the Secret Chiefs (because Secret Chiefs this century advertise their awesomeness even when you are unwilling or unable to contact them or even understand their decisions).

Yes, I voted for the Cat token.

And I would have taken a picture of my own cat on a Monopoly board...except I have no clue where I stored the board.

My wild theory of the day: If your cat kicks off all the other players' tokens onto the floor and occupies the entire board, you win. No, what do you mean that is not how it works?! That is how Monopoly works in Golden Dawn, so why shouldn't the game that teaches us that we want to control a monopoly not work the same way?

(For those of you who are blissfully unaware of the GD Monopoly rules, the rules clearly state that if your GD group has a Secret Chief that you get to rule everyone else's Order while puking up hairballs in their closets and pissing on all their hard work. Don't believe me? Well, produce your copy of the GD rulebook and prove to me that it does not say so in the rules. Oh, you can't prove that it does not say that...because you claim there is no such rulebook...well, alrighty then--I win! just like Monopoly Cat does.)

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