Battle flag wrapped guns

One of the beautiful things about Facebook is that it collects all the stupid in one place. This, in itself, is a good reason for the government to monitor Facebook. And yes, I do believe that governmental agencies are monitoring Facebook and social media; the difference between me and your average wingnut is that I frankly don’t give a damn.

Or to put it another way, “What is the worst thing that the government could learn about me?” That I have too many cats? Or that I am worried about paying off my student loans? Or that the only thing that I did with my university degree is dissect science fiction shows? Or that I belong to a so-called secret society? As long as I don’t cook meth in my kitchen while buggering a close relative, the government will think that I am too boring to bother with.

The wingnuts on the other hand worry about the government so much that they have to be doing something dubious in their kitchens. Just the other day, one of the Presidential candidates stated that the American people could get conned and elect the next Adolf Hitler to the office of President. This is the same candidate who believes that if a Muslim is ever elected to the office of President, they will place Islamic religious law above the Constitution. Unfortunately, I look at Ben Carson and the fourteen remaining Republican Presidential candidates (oh god, we still have a year more of this circus), and I see people who are telling voters that they will honor their Christian religious beliefs—even if the Constitution says otherwise.

The worry that the wrong type of person will get elected is a constant fear. More voters believe that President Obama is a Muslim, who is coming to take their guns, than voters who believe that he is a citizen of this country and a student of Constitutional law.

One of the rallying points of the wingnuts, many draping themselves with the Confederate battle flag, is that nothing must be done to constrain their ability to buy military grade weapons and enough ammunition to wipe out the Ivy League colleges. And if they had their way, all colleges and universities would disappear—after all, intellectuals don’t know a damn thing about anything. In fact, some of us college educated people think that reducing the number of guns will lead to a decrease of gun related violence. 

One thing that the wingnuts point out is that taking away guns will not decrease the number of overall violent incidents. Once no one has guns, we will all just buy hammers, swords, and poison, and continue to gleefully eliminate those people we feel are too stupid to live. And they are right, violence won’t disappear, we will just have to go back to bashing people’s heads in with rocks.

Because of us non-gun owners being so violent, gun owners have to keep their guns. They are not actually concerned about other gun owners because they all think that they are the quickest most accurate shooter this side of Mars. No, it is only those of us who will sneak up behind a rock that you have to worry about because no one has ever outlawed rocks in human history.

Besides us violent pacifists and intellectuals, the gun owners know that they have to arm themselves against the government. If they give up their guns, the military and police will swoop in and end their way of life of meth cooking and cousin buggering. And the government will violate the Constitution the very instant there are no more guns—it is a historical fact foretold in the Bible. In fact, it is about time that Republican Jesus comes back and leads the sensible people in breaking away from the corrupt government of the United States.

There is only one problem that I see with this battle flag wrapped philosophy---the secessionists have already lost a war with the federal government and its military. A century and a half ago, a large section of the Republic split off for the noble cause of preserving their way of life (also known as the one percent having all the wealth while other people, including the whites living in trailer parks, slave away to increase the worth of the one percent).

And yes, I believe that a modern armed secession would fail miserably. The prideful secessionists should not be worried about the military taking away their constitutional guaranteed guns; they should be worried that it is not constitutional for them to buy and own rocket launchers and nuclear weapons. I don’t care if you have three dozen guns per militant and enough ammo to go back in time and hunt the dinosaurs into extinction; one badly aimed nuclear weapon will turn your secession movement into a radioactive pit. Heck, if both sides gave up their guns, a nuke would still tip the balance towards the ever loving corrupt government who insist that it is wrong to cook meth in your kitchen while buggering your cousin. Or they could use a really big rock. 

Food equals love

My wife proved that she loved me the other day. She brought me a bag of wasabi flavored almonds. By itself, it doesn't not sound like proof of her undying love for me, but it is.

She will not eat these almonds. To me, this is a sign of love. Then again, I do have food issues.

The blame for all of my food issues can be placed firmly on my childhood. I am the oldest of eight kids. You know what you call a group of eight kids? Locust. We were like a Biblical plague if you were crazy enough to let us loose in a room with an unlocked fridge and well-stocked cupboards. The problem was that we were always straving.

Don't get me wrong---my parents did their best to keep us clothed and fed. My father often worked too jobs while Mom stayed home to watch us. Well, my father worked while my mom made me stay home and watch my siblings. Except when my dad would drag me off to work to learn a trade.

The happiest trade that he dragged me off to learn was how to sell and deliver produce. I was rail thin from the lack of food. At home, sneaking a banana was a capital crime. At the produce warehouse, it was spoilage. Plus every cook and chef along the delivery route would feed me. To this day, I willing eat any food offered to me by the staff of a kitchen. My decision to be a journalist and novelist merely re-enforced my tendency to gravitate towards unguarded food. If I am ever assassinated, it will be with a plate of Swedish Meatballs.

It was on the produce route that I learned an important lesson---if you want to survive, be willing to eat stuff that other people will not touch. At home, I was expected to be polite, and allow my siblings to eat. Nearly always I would be forced to have a smaller portion than I would like. It wasn't that my mom was a wonderful cook---an one armed monkey without taste buds can whip up a better dish than my mom--it was simply that there was never enough food.

Occasionally, some politician will state that the government should quit funding reduced and free school lunch and breakfast programs. Or they will insist that only drug abusers are on welfare and government aid programs. I imagine that they also believe that I should not be stuffing their poppets with stale peanuts and throwing them out to the squirrels. It is seriously doubtful that we will ever see eye to eye on those important issues, but I won't vote for them as long as they don't vote for me either.

It is not just politicians that I hate. My oldest sister knows that I don't like her. Not one damn bit. Her proof of this is that I like licorice. At a certain point, I realized that when given a chance to pick the candy, none of my siblings would eat licorice. Initially, I thought it tasted nasty, but I got all of it. It is amazing how bad food is so much better than no food at all. Today, I actually like licorice---it is an acquired taste, just like eating strange animals.

There are times that I wonder if my working in restaurants for twenty years was related to the lack of food I experienced as a kid. Or the fact that I was willing to take over all the cooking a couple of years ago. After all, such decisions are never affected by the lack of a high school diploma, or the fact that you can taste how much my wife likes to cook. If you want to make sure you get enough to eat, control the food that comes out of the kitchen.

My wife also has food issues. Colorful food, fresh food, food with flavor---she will not touch any of them. She will eat canned green beans, but not fresh ones. Beets, squash, salad---all off the list. To top off the list of things she will not touch, add an item that she can't touch--wheat. After several years, I am still trying to figure out how to cook gluten free.

One of the signs that I love her is that I actually try to cook around her dietary needs. And that I am willing to let her have seconds, or the leftovers if she needs them for lunch. My childhood programming says that she is more important than I am, therefore she gets first dubs on the food.

So her buying me a bag of food that she will not touch, that is all mine, that is pure love.

Why Facebook was down so long

A couple of days ago, Facebook went down for an eternity hour. And what did all most some people do? Oh yeah, jump on other social media sites, such as Twitter, to panic gripe about Facebook being down.

Now some two people did something useful. One spent some time with her mother. And another found a virgin to sacrifice. I presume that one of these people is lying. I mean who actually spends time with their mother?

I, myself, stepped away from the computer to do some dishes and laundry. And by that I mean that I kept coming back to the computer every half hour ten minutes to see if Facebook was back online. No, I do not think that I have a Facebook addiction. If I had an Facebook addiction, I would have remained sitting at the computer, refreshing the browser every thirty seconds.

Facebook's explanation was that there was a problem with Mercury retrograde configuration issue. I am quite sure that this means that someone tripped over a cord. Isn't that the only possible explanation? After all, not only does Facebook have brilliant slightly above average moronic computer programmers, they also have the stellar lackluster programmers from the NSA, CIA, FBI, DEA, and several so-secret you have never heard of them alphabetic agencies, such as the [redacted], to help them.

Think about it. We all know that Facebook is giving the United States New World Order government copies of everything that you post. Those pictures of your tramp stamp--the NSA has them. Those pictures of your dog drinking out of the toliet---that is a Homeland Security issue. That complaint about the lousy service you got at McDonalds---that is now the property of Burger King.

Of course, you don't have to put up with the government getting their nose up in your business. After all, it only takes an one-time status update saying that the government does not have permission to read your statuses, and you are good to go. Those bank robbers the other day made only one mistake; they forgot to post that status before posing with those bags emblazoned with giant dollar signs. If they would have thought ahead, the robbers would not have been caught.

And the fact that not everyone has done this simple method just shows you that some people should not be allowed to see the wisdom of Facebook. There are powerful spells being exchanged on Facebook. Are your breasts too small? Smudge them with sage. Butt too big? Smudge that too. Broken arm? Sage will fix that right on up. Facebook knows that everything can be fixed with sage. It is probably why Facebook was down for so long; intern Jimmy had to go to the local pot shop occult store to get some more smoke---because some sweet smoke fixes everything, including Facebook being down.

Morgan Hates All of You 2015 blog campaign

Hello and welcome to the Morgan Hates All of You 2015 blog campaign.

Exterminate all numpties!!!

One of the strange things about being a creative person, especially one who actually has to do it for a living, is that sometimes making art (or writing, in my case) becomes too much like work. Over the years, I have noticed that I am not the only artist who ends up in this rut.

But the most interesting thing I have noticed about this artistic rut is how artists and writers get out of it---by creating art! Yes, that is kinda odd.

The only difference is that when an artist goes on their "art-cation" (or a writer goes on their "write-cation"), they are only doing it for themselves---and care not what other people think.

So for the rest of the month (until Halloween when I do the next Tarot Blog Hop), I am just writing for myself. No censor. No concern for the feelings of numpties who get alarmed when Daleks come out of the woodwork shouting "Exterminate the stupid!" No giving of fucks. No fucks will be given.

You might want to ignore me for the next thirty-one days. Or maybe you too can use a vacation from being politically correct about all things occult and mundane. Either way, I plan on having fun.

Magical Order of Aurora Aurea is closing its correspondence course

Today Nick Farrell announced: "The Magical Order of the Aurora Aurea is no longer offering its correspondence course. Those who are already in it will continue to be supervised. It has been running now for seven years; however in the last 18 months, we have been getting complaints that it is too difficult for modern people. I have no interest in dumbing it down -- it weeded people out, but more recent candidates have not continued past lesson three."

And I understand this---there is a reason why the EOEW/BIOGD/BIORC correspondence course has gotten so little attention---and it is pretty much the same reason.

For those who are interested in a Golden Dawn correspondence course, I have been recommending the book, Self-Initiation into the Golden Dawn Tradition (Cicreo), and its (unofficial & unauthorized) support group Sanctuary of Mau.

Someday, I do plan on creating a print-on-demand course, but it is not high on my list of things to accomplish anytime soon.

Even the pirated Necronomicon sells well

Last night, I was doing some research for one of my little projects---a Mythos Gang story---Bast and the Mittens of Destruction (this is a working title; it might be changed by the time I finish the story).

[For those who are curious, the Mythos Gang is a series of "adult children stories" that I started writing a couple of years ago before the "great depression of 2014---damn, those fucked up meds." I have never actually completed writing one yet. Besides I am writing them to amuse myself, so it does not matter if none of them ever get finished. Anyways...]

Last night, while searching "Necronomicon" on Amazon, I stumbled across this ebook listing.

Someone is selling a pirated copy of the Necronomicon.

Yes, that is right; someone is selling ebook copies of a scan of the Simon (Avon) Necronomicon. And when I say "scan," I mean "pretty lousy scan from an yellowed copy of this fraudulent grimoire."

See--it is just a bloody scan!

Now, this type of crap happens all the time. One of the arguments that pro-book-pirates make is that no one is making a profit from their piracy. Unfortunately, that is not universally true. And this is a perfect example of someone making a profit off a ripped copy of someone else's work.

Oh dear, someone is making money off of this. 

"How much profit?" you ask. Well, if we take the indie writer sales estimation formula (designed by indies for those snoopy indies who are curious about other people's sales)---one hundred thousand divided by the sales rank (100000/140538) equals daily sales (.71)....or 21 sales a month. Without knowing what percentage Amazon is giving them, and where their sales are coming from---let's just call that 21 dollars a month in royalities for a pirated book.

And this listing has been up since December 2013! So assuming sales have been constant from the beginning---this pirate has made four hundred dollars off of this pirated book.

I am not sure about anyone else, but I kinda feel like I am in the wrong profession. Why create new stuff when you can just rip off other people?

Actual customer reviews of the pirated version. 

And his? her? zisr? customers seem oblivious to the fact that it is a ripped copy. Now, I do not expect much from people who buy the Simon (Avon) Necronomicon---which may have been created as a practical joke---but really? I particularly like the one that says, "Excellent book. Presents actual text that John [Dee] worked with so draws the reader directly into the essence of ancient wisdom & magic."

(In all fairness, all occultists, witches, and magicians are assumed to have a copy of this book. I own a copy myself---a copy that I brought at an used book store.)

There seems to be no ebook edition of the Necronomicon.

Now, I firmly suspect that the reason that people are buying this badly scanned ebook is simply because there seems to be no official ebook edition of the Simon (Avon) Necromonicon. I do wonder why that is....though given that the book has never been out of print since its initial publication and seems to sell well, I am sure that the publisher sees absolutely no reason to issue an ebook copy.

Fuck! This is a damn good sales rank for a "fake" book.

Just how well does it sell? Well, if the wonky formula is to be believed; it sells five copies a day. That is a whooping 1825 copies a year. And even if the formula is giving us the wrong number, consider the fact that this book is number nine in the category of occultism---I know that there are some occult writers who would consider murdering someone to get that rank in the occultism category. In my case, I would consider murdering the pirate selling the bad scan for profit; my defense would be that piracy is a victimless crime. (What?! Am I stretching that defense out more than the people who argue that in book piracy justifications? I think not.)

Anyways, so this has been a rant; therefore, it must be Wednesday in Mad Uncle Morgan's world. Have a good evening.

Card of the Second Harvest (Tarot Blog Hop)

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Hi everyone! I am Mad Uncle Morgan. And welcome to another edition of the Tarot Blog Hop.

My regular readers will note that this is the second blog hop that I have done this month; the first one being the Tarot Jam blog hop. For those doing the hop, there is a chance that you just came from the Denver Tarot Convention blog, which is actually a guest post that I did about a Tarot field trip during the June 2015 convention (I was assigned the task of taking a photo for the Tower card).

As always if there are breaks in the hop chain, you can always go to the Master List to correct your course.

The idea for this hop comes from our wrangler's experience of creating a Maninni Tarot deck ("maninni" is Italian for "many little hands"). Instead of trying to create a whole maninni deck, we are focusing on what Tarot card is best suited to represent Mabon, the second harvest and the Autumnal Equinox.

Now, for those people in Golden Dawn, or who study its Tarot system (Book T), there is no question which cards are assigned to Mabon....or is there? If we were only looking at the Wiccan holidays from a Northern Hemisphere position, we would have clear cut answers. The problem is that the Southern Hemisphere is (sort-of) dealing with Ostara as we have Mabon in the Northern Hemisphere. (I say "sort of" because my understanding of the seasons is that they are not the polar opposite of ours; seasons are unique to their location. For instance, Egypt has three seasons, not four that Europe and America has. Therefore, the Wiccan Sabbats as created inside Traditional British Wicca are not a good fit for much of the globe.)

Golden Dawn Tarot system applied to the Wiccan Sabbats

I first became aware of this problem when I started to design the Rite of the Magical Images of the Wiccan Sabbats (now available on Amazon). Initially, I considered using the Tarot as the basis of the magical images for the Sabbats. (A magical image is an image that is used to connect with the energies of a divine or astrological force, for the purposes of divination, mediation, and magic.) I also considered using the traditional images of the zodiac degrees that the Sabbats fell upon.

It was the Southern Hemisphere problem that convinced me that this was the wrong solution to use. (When I was involved in the Sanctuary of Maat, several of the students that I was proctoring were living in Australia and New Zealand--thanks to them, I became acutely aware of the fact that the Southern Hemisphere and its seasons complicated things that were considered cut and dried in the Northern Hemisphere. Today, though the Sanctuary of Mau, I still deal with Golden Dawn students in the Southern Hemisphere---therefore, I tilt at the Southern Hemisphere problem still on occasion.)

My solution to the problem was to treat the Wiccan Wheel of the Year and its eight Sabbats as symbols of a mystery tradition, and not as solid fixed points in time. Basically, I came to the conclusion that the Wiccan Wheel of the Year was an artifical creation, and part of a modern myth cycle designed for modern pagans. Once that decision was made, I could divorce the holidays from the zodiac wheel. This also meant that the Tarot was unsuited to the new system that I was creating.

In my script of the Rite of the Magical Images of the Wiccan Sabbats, I described the magical image of Mabon as "A man wrapped in ivy and grape vines standing in front of a standing stone. He holds a horn stuffed with grapes and corn, and he makes the sign of silence." Since that initial version, I have made a couple of chances in the magical image for Mabon.

Mabon as a Tarot card/ magical image

I have modified the image so that the figure is no longer using the sign of silence. The figure is now standing in a vat (barrel) full of fruit and grains. The horn that the figure is holding now also includes grain.

My use of the magical image is representative of issues where one is in the middle of an income cycle. One has already recieved profits and income is at the half-way mark, but one still have some profits and income that has not been recieved yet. It is also representative of taking resources and converting them into something else, like turning grains and fruits into alcohol; or taking raw clay and chemicals to produce pottery.

If I was to replace an existing Tarot card with this image, I probably would put it in the place of the Three of Cups. Or maybe the King of Cups. But I am most likely to use this image, and the other seven Sabbat images, as part of a "side deck"---cards that can replace or be added to another deck. Or maybe as part of an oracle deck. Honestly, I am not sure yet. And we are in the days of print-on-demand Tarot and Oracle decks--there is nothing saying that we are stuck using the only traditional seventy-eight cards.

So that is where my current development of this particular image is at. Thanks for reading, and please consider reading some of the other posts in this edition of the Tarot Blog Hop.

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