Monday, March 22, 2010

Hebrew letters look like this

According to The Chicken Qabalah of Rabbi Lamed Ben Clifford (Lon Milo DuQuette), the Hebrew letters look like this:

Aleph doesn't look like any other Hebrew letter and is therefore easy to recognize. It has one long diagonal bar that looks like a banana separating two small Yods. Thw Yod at the top right is connected to the banana at the midpoint by a thin line (a Yod on a stick). The Yod at the bottom left is flattened at the bottom like a foot and is connected to the banana underneath its left shoulder.

Teth looks like the profile of a duck swimming on the water looking back at a big Yod that's stuck to the tip of its tail.

Yod is a flame.

Lamed looks like a snake that has swallowed a brick and is now having second thoughts.

Mem---if we are still looking at a duck swimming on the water, the duck has reached back with its bill and has pulled its tail completely off.

Nun Final looks like that little mirror on a stick that the dentist sticks in your mouth.

Ayin is very distinctive. It is built upon a bold right-leaning diagonal banana. There is one Yod connected to the top of the banana, and a Zain [sword] stabs the banana's top mid-section. It looks very much like an English lower case "y."

Peh is exactly like a Kaph, only it sports a distinctive tongue that dangles from the roof of its mouth.

Tzaddi looks like a man with a huge pompadour haircut kneeling forward. He has just been stabbed in the back with a Yod on a stick.

Qoph is quite unique. It is very similar to an English capital P with none of its components touching. It also looks like a left-facing profile of Elvis Presley with really long eyebrows drooping down past his chin.

Tau [Tav] looks like a Resh holding a dead dolphin by the tail.

If you do not believe the Rabbi, pull out your Hebrew alphabet cheat sheet and look again.

1 comment:

Susanne Iles said...

I couldn't believe this post when I read I HAD to pull out the alphabet. So funny! Scary thing is, I'm having a hard time getting the hilarious images out of my mind. All that serious work? poof!

(thanks for the smile today)