Wednesday, May 31, 2017

My top ten blog posts for May 2017

It is the end of the month and it is time for me to look at the top ten blog posts for the month...because I am a blogger, and wonder exactly what blog posts my readers are reading.

But first, an honorable mention--my Tarot Blog Hop post for May, which based on pure numbers actually should be in the top ten--but Blogger seems to weigh older posts heavier (for reasons that are beyond my understanding). The Tarot Blog Hop was about combining divinatory systems, but I spent more time talking about my fiery Mercury. [Mix and match divination]

Coming is at number ten is a post about a child shooting his own mother...which gun freedom nuts are perfectly ok with--because Guns are Great!!! [Child terrorists shoots his own mother]

Number nine is occupied by my post about how the global bind Donald Trump ritual was affecting the views of my July Fourth 2016 video talking about binding Donald Trump. That's right, I was binding Donald Trump before it became the cool "satanic" and witchy thing to do. [Why the spike in video views?]

Number eight was the ritual script for the global witchcraft binding ritual of President Donald Trump and all his little pals. It is so sad that Trump didn't get better ratings. Help him get better views by screaming at people that witchcraft is evil. [Global binding ritual of Trump]

Number seven was an advertisement for my wife's mortar and pestles. Yes, it was an advert, but it still counts as being a popular blog post. [New mortar and pestles available on Etsy]

Number six was my Earth Day post reminding people not to toss old hoses into the recycling bin, and not to use the brains of dubious occult leaders when they design new esoteric systems. [Do not recycle the Abby Normal brain]

And roaring into number five is Trump! That's right--not happy with just two slots on this hit parade, President Trump grabs a third as I talk about what Trump accomplished in his first hundred days in office, and what my mom thought he was going to accomplish--oh, the bitter disappointment. [Congrats! You survived the first hundred days of Trump]

And not happy with just three slots, Trump strikes again, taking spot number four by doing something totally legit and awesome--firing the director of the FBI. Yes, nothing to see there--move along. [Trump restores confidence in the FBI]

But just when you thought that occult news could not trend and get readers, an old post (two and a half years old) about the arrest of the Living God, E.A. Koetting grabs number three. Honestly, this post performs month after month, just proving that some people do actually use Google to check out occult authorities and personalities. Let's give a big round of applause to the Living God for continuing to generate traffic. [Thoughts on the arrest of E.A. Koetting]

And just when you thought that we were done with Trump, he inspires a post about how his treatment of secrecy and his midnight rage tweets reminds me of all the good times we have had with dubious occult teachers and leaders using the concept of secrecy to cover their asses and the their revealing of others' dirty laundry to destroy their enemies. Go Trump! Or is this more about dubious occult leaders? Go Great Gherkin and Jimmie Bob Beggains! Either way, it is our number two for the month of May. [Secrets declassified--the Golden Dawn edition]

So who is going to grab post number one of the month? Is it going to be some random post talking about nonsense? Maybe an occult lore piece? Can the dubious occult leaders win the day? Or will it be the last President of the United States?

And the answer found in an old mayo jar sitting on the help desk of Blogger is...

Dubious occult leaders!!!

Yes, in a surprise win, dubious occult leaders using lineage to prove that they are truly Wiccan Elders and the greatest occult authorities ever beats out President Donald Trump! Who would have guessed it? No one saw that one coming. Stand tall dubious occult leaders, you are still the number one reason that I blog. [Lineage dost not make an Elder]

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