Saturday, May 5, 2012

Most read month ever

I am not even as cool as Morgan Grimes.
One of the hazards of being a blogger is that one cannot help looking at the traffic figures. Well, I suppose that you could prevent yourself from looking at your traffic figures with a couple of rolls of duct tape. And honestly, it is probably one of the worst things you can do--look at your traffic figures that is; duct tape is perfectly acceptable for most household chores (babysitting kids, fixing furniture, getting that annoying neighbor across the street to shut up and stay on their side of the street).

Why is it the worst possible thing you can do (look at your own traffic figures, that is)? Because you can find out that you are less popular than Morgan Grimes. (Sorry, I am busy rewatching the entire Chuck series--I am sorry that it is not Shakepeare or something else readers do not actually come here for educated dialogue, do they?)

Or worse, you can look at your traffic figures and think that you are more popular and successful than Morgan Grimes. (For the one reader who does not know, Morgan Grimes was a supporting character in the TV show Chuck--a show about a Buy More Nerd Herder who downloaded the Intersect, a government data base into his head. Morgan Grimes is, well, a nerd into comic books and science fiction and not terribly cool. I have mentioned the fact that you are not here for intelligent conversation, right?)

Anyway, yes, I forgot to duct tape myself to the other side of the room far away from my computer...and therefore, I looked at my traffic figures for last month. The bad news--I am not even as cool as Morgan Grimes. The good news--last month was my most read month ever.

And this is despite several people deciding that they will never give me any traffic ever again. I am not sure that they realize that I haven't gotten any traffic from them for months...yes, I check my traffic figures on a regular basis. Makes me suspect that my audience is completely different than theirs. (Hmmm, I wonder if they get the smart Shakespeare audience...or maybe they actually get the people that Shakespeare was really writing for...sorry, that is a literature joke--after all, Shakespeare was writing for the commoners in the pit; you know the type of person who actually likes watching bear-baiting and men dressed up pretending to be witches and young maidens.)

So what strange things did I find in my figures? (You didn't want to know--how rude...of one of us...I am guessing it is you, dear reader, who thinks Morgan Grimes is cooler than I am.)

Surprise number one was that both Japan and Brazil made my top ten countries list for readership...I am not sure what I am writing that attracting them.

Surprise number two was that one of the top ten posts last month was about the blogs that I were reading a year ago (and they are not even occult blogs)--I am guessing it has to do with the fact that I mentioned one star Amazon book reviews in that post (but they had nothing to do with those one star Amazon book reviews that erupted last month).

Surprise number three is that one of my Christmas Kitty posts is still getting traffic. (Really? A Xmas post?)

Oh, wait...surprise number four is that my post about not warring against Christmas is also getting hits. (Don't ask me to explain it...I can't.)

I gained a new number two all time most read post last month "What is Griffin trying to accomplish?" It shot up and passed last year's favorite about Robert Zink being expelled from his own Order. Well, shot up and passed it by 123 views. And there is really no chance of it becoming my all time number one post--it would need about sixteen times the number of views to surpass my all time number one post on Understanding Search Engines. And no, I have no real idea what traffic would be like on a Morgan Grimes post, but I am guessing that Morgan Grimes would be more popular. (No?!)

As for my next blog post, well, it will be my 777th post on this blog. I wonder what it could be about. Maybe I will write about Morgan Grimes and how he should have been the star of Chuck.


IzzyGumbo said...

we're all click monsters, don't feel bad ;) at least you're honest enough to analyse yourself. lol

Deanna Bonds said...

Don't knock Chuck, it was a fun show. Although I wish they had 15 more minutes on the finale to show how something was going to turn out (and not just imply). I think we know how Morgan grimes show would turn out from the last season ;P

I don't seem to have had much traffic die down since the traffic diversion attempt. What I found interesting in my numbers is equal numbers of people using ie, chrome, and safari browsers. I would have expected ie to be much lower these days.