Dark Enochiana

Last night, one of my writer friends mentioned that someone was looking for Dark Enochiana material. Of course, my first question was "What the hell is Dark Enochiana?!" To which my friend responded, "Exactly, what I wondered."

Our best guess is that it must be Enochian magic that is ran though a big meat grinder turned by clowns to produce a darker, scary version of the Enochian system. Kind of like what one writer said about Enochian when he stated that the whole purpose of the Enochian system was to open the gates of hell and bring about the upcoming Christian apocalypse. You know the nasty say the spell, the walls start to bleed, and demons go out murdering people in the street type stuff. Kind of like Harry Potter for Satanists. As if we really need to darken up regular Enochian--they are not exactly the type of spirits that you invite over for tea; and there are plenty of humans killing one another as it is, so we don't really need to summon spirits for that purpose.

The closest that I have ever came to Dark Enochiana is doing extended workings with a spirit that the Christians have labeled a demon (which could be any pagan god or goddess for those of you playing at home), and I used some muddled Enochian when I wrote the chant to summon the evil Woden in my short story, Eye of the Storm (my sole contribution to the Cthulhu Mythos...well, so far). Either one qualifies me to write Dark Enochiana, but I am sure that some people will use these facts to call me a secret Christian and Satanist, instead of the British Traditional Wiccan and pagan that I actually am, and be absolutely positive that I am a Dark Enochianist to boot.

But heck, if there is a big enough market for this stuff, I am quite sure that me and my friend can hack some of it out. It is not like we actually have to make the spells work or even safe for that matter. Look at the success of the Necronomicon, after all--it is more myth than fact. It might be fun--much like teasing a cat with the red dot laser is. Of course, if we do, I am sure that both of us will hide our involvement behind pen-names...because this sounds only one step better than writing Christian Domestic Discipline erotica.

A thousand blog posts and this is what I have learned

Blogging is sort of like being the cat here.

Welcome to my thousandth blog post. Or thousandth on this blog. It is well over a thousand if you count the other nine still active blogs that I maintain (more or less maintain) and the several blogs that over the years have been deleted in the course of hosting service changes. It is close to a couple thousand if you toss in all the half written (and sometimes fully written but too trollish for prime time) posts that I have never been bothered to hit publish on.

This blog was started on July 16, 2007...which means that I have been blogging six years (provided that basic math is my friend today--it is still early...basic math might not be speaking to me today). Well, longer than six years, I moved over to Blogger on June 4, 2007 after my previous blogging platform was discontinued by a web host service. At first, I thought that I was going to be mainly blogging about the joys of writing (aka my Musings from the Inkwell). Then, I decided to spin off my Golden Dawn, Wicca, and magical rants and raves--hence this blog that you are currently reading. It was my first subject spin-off (now, I own ten blogs on Blogger).

So what have I learned over the years?

Do not google yourself!!!

Seriously, googling yourself is not worth it. If people are upset with you, they will tend to tell you in no uncertain terms in your own comment section (with the exception of non-professional bloggers who think that you will go read their blogs if they refuse to comment directly on your post...professional bloggers know better). And if people agree with you, either you will hear crickets, they will agree in the comment section, or they will blog about it on their own blogs. Your biggest hits will actually not be findable by Google...because you will be referred to as "some blogger," "some troll," "some lunatic," or one of the terms that your parents used for you during one of your more brilliant moments--my favorite is "turnip head."

There is no conspiracy on the internet--just waves of people blogging about other people's blogs.

I know that one is hard to believe...if you are not a semi-professional blogger. Truth of the matter is that the blogosphere feeds upon itself. Person A writes about Subject XYZ; Person B is desperate to find something to blog about, and decides XYZ is a good subject; then Person C decides that Person A and Person B are both out of their f***ing minds. Persons D though infinity just repeat the actions of B and C. So on any given day, there is only one new subject at best, and everyone will comment about it within the week.

Honest book reviewing is best done by people who are trolls at heart.

Having done more than my fair share of book reviews, I realize that the only way one can honestly review a book that is badly written and/or thought out is to have the heart of a troll. And not to care when the author points it out that you are not a nice person (and they will). Yes, critics meet under bridges to share stories of our hate mail.

Of course, having the heart of a troll extends to every honest blog post that one ever writes...because there is always someone that you are going to upset. In fact, inside the professional blogging circles, one is not considered to be doing the job properly if one is not upsetting people.

Troll cat does all my book reviews now.

There is such a thing as being a professional blogger.

I know that there are some people in the occult community that do not consider me a real blogger because I have ads on my blog, and ebooks that I occasionally promote, a whole line of erotica books that I do not advertise--to these people, I have to point out that the only things that I am really good at is writing and annoying people--if I do not take advantage of that and turn it into professional rage (the only reason to remain a blogger on some days), using ads and tacky self-promotion to earn money, then it is back to flipping burgers...and do you really want me to touch your food and have access to guns at the same time?! No, it is better that I get paid to blog. And among non-occult bloggers, being professional means that you cashed at least one check from AdSense (not everyone has the occultist viewpoint that money is not to be sought after).

Cat pictures sell!!!

Who would have guessed that one?! Three of my top ten posts are cat pictures posts. And this is an occult blog. Go figure. Of course, as a worshipper of Bast, I am obligated to post the occasional cat picture, and therefore it just proves that I am in the correct line of work.

If I had to start all over, I would write about economics.

Seriously, if I had to start a brand new blog purely for the purposes of professional blogging, I would not write about the occult. No, I would go for economics instead. Because everyone reads rants and raves about economics. And I would get a classier type of troll...well, maybe. And there is always something new to blog about in that field every day. That last part is important...because having done a thousand blog posts on a subject (minus bouts and fits of cat pictures), I know that being able to open up a newspaper, turning on the television news, or looking at the search engines trends, and having a new blog post idea just leap into the boat is a godsend. Especially if blogging has became a large part of your income stream.

Here is to the next thousand posts. I am embracing the dark side of blogging and letting the cat pictures flow.

Success as a blogger earns you a dead mouse on your desk.

Me and the Secret Chiefs

The Secret Chiefs have awesome super-powers. Honest, Mathers said so.

I would be amiss in my duties as a wise-cracking Golden Dawn commenter if I did not at least write something about the Secret Chiefs before the August 5th deadline for them to meet Nick Farrell. So here goes.

Most of my readers know that I joke about cats being the Secret Chiefs. Yet in my honest opinion, cats are as reasonable as Secret Chiefs as every other claim I have ever heard for them (Secret Chiefs, that it). I mean cats want your attention only when it is convenient for them, and they tend to be rather close lipped about what they actually know, and they insist that your house belongs to them without them doing a lick of work, and they spend a lot of time on the astral...sounds like a Secret Chief to me.

I came to the conclusion that I would rather have cats as my Secret Chiefs after many, many encounters with people claiming to be the Secret Chiefs, or claiming to be the gate-keeper for the Secret Chiefs, or claiming to channel the Secret Chiefs. Yes, I have dealt with people who claimed astral and physical Secret Chief contacts--sometimes in the exact same breath--if not, outright claiming to be Secret Chiefs themselves. I have been given information from the Secret Chiefs, and I have read lessons and new regulations that they have given their chosen mouthpieces. And honestly, my cats make more sense as they run around the house at four in the morning chasing a moth.

On top of this, I have dollop of talent as a medium. I had whole conversations with people that I do not remember; I have written papers that I do not remember writing; I have told people what was about to happen in the tone of someone terribly amused about how tiny human beings are. Hell, on that basis alone, I could be the mouthpiece and gatekeeper for the Secret Chiefs. A modified Drawing Down ritual and a loud set of drums, and I would be good to go.

(Yes, I am a Wiccan who knows how to do a Drawing Down...or is that a witch, or is that a Satanist...I am a little behind in reading the latest conspiracy theories about my so-called Masters.)

And in all this time, I have not seen anything that makes me think that the Secret Chiefs are the crowning development and guiding force behind the esoteric Orders (and its occult traditions) and history itself. In fact, the information given seem only as good as the person that is doing the talking for them. The concept of the Secret Chief seems to be more of a working tool for controlling groups and bull-shitting information than a hard reality that can be tested and measured without having to resort to blind faith and obedience.

This is why I will never believe in the validity of Secret Chief claims or demands. It would take some super-duper esoteric secrets to even get me to entertain the notion that a claim was true. The proof would have to top everything that I have ever seen and heard, plus would have to withstand a heavy background check to ensure that the information did not came out of a forgotten book or manuscript in some backwater library.

So despite the fact that some people insist that I am missing the boat by not believing in the real Secret Chiefs behind the esoteric tradition, I will stick to listening to my cats. If nothing else, I like them better than anyone I have even met that claimed access to the Secret Chiefs and their teachings.

Extensions of the Godwin Law

Over on Nick Farrell's blog an anonymous commenter wrote the following (which I thought was interesting enough to repost):

Soror SD wrote: "Anyone who talks about Golden Dawn or SRIA as being 'Satanic' has immediately lost any debate they attempt to raise."

This reminds me of Godwin's Law, the internet concept that "As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1." (source: Wikipedia). More relevant is the corollary to Godwin's Law (often considered the law itself), that "once such a comparison is made, the thread is finished and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically lost whatever debate was in progress." (source: Wikipedia)

I therefore propose Griffin's Law: "When a claim is made that someone is a Satanist, the thread is finished and whoever accused the other of Satanism has automatically lost whatever debate was in progress."

I would also propose the Law of Griffin Dementia: "Whenever a claim is made without documentation that some individual or group has made death threats or put out a hit on a poster or blogger, the thread is finished and the person making the claim is to be banished with laughter."

Good luck with your meat fight (Goldie Oldie)

[This post was originally written on March 24, 2012...and I think that it applies equally well to the current brouhaha between Nick Farrell and David Griffin...or at least, I feel exactly the same way about the current mess as I did then about this previous situation. So here you go a Golden Oldie, just cross out what was happening then and insert what is being said now, and pretend that I cared enough to update this. Have a nice afternoon everyone.]

One of my favorite scenes from Dharma and Greg.

Ok, I have hit the point where I firmly suspect that I am going to be blacklisted because I refuse to see that Nick Farrell was only bad-mouthing one particular group that claims AO descent in the introduction to King Over the Water: Samuel Mathers and the Golden Dawn. Furthermore, I refuse to retract my good review of the book.

Let me be clear, I have personnally seen other groups doing this...aka in living memory and within the last decade. The trademark did not stop this from happening; it merely removed it from public view. Some of these leaders were bad. And just because your group is good today, it does not mean that it will be good tommorrow. Therefore, I see the need for the warning, and I have serious doubts that it was only referring to one particular group. And no, I do not believe that descent from the original Order, or communication with Secret Chiefs, automatically makes you good guys.

I am not interested in your proof that you are real and your leader pure---let me be clear---I have personnally been burned by people claiming descent from the AO; I have also been burned by people claiming to be communicating with the Secret Chiefs (Third Order). I do not need to see Farrell's proof that people have abused the vaccuum that a lack of information has generated---I have experienced the abuse first hand.

I may not only have a Crowley in my woodpile; I may also have a Mathers in my woodpile. I have been told that my lineage traces through Mathers. Of course, because I am not a member of the trademarked organization, therefore I am no longer AO.

When you demand that Farrell apologizes to everyone in the AO community, am I one of the people he is supposed to apologize to? No. Because I am not a card-carrying member of the trademarked Order.

Therefore, forgive me...and go ahead blacklist me...because I am just as AO as the rest of you (according to some of the people who I have dealt with) and I do not see the need for Farrell to apologize to me (because of abuse by people who claimed to be AO).

Good luck with your meat fight!

Nick Farrell challenges the Secret Chiefs to a duel!

I suspect that the Secret Chiefs are too lazy to go to an important meeting.

The big news of the week is that Nick Farrell has challenged the Secret Chiefs to a duel. Go on, read his challenge to them (right here at this link). I will wait until you are back. You are back. See, I told you that Nick challenged the Secret Chiefs to a duel.

What do you mean?! That is not a duel challenge...are you sure? Because it sounds like one to me.

And we all know what is going to happen--no Secret Chief is going to show up to chat with Nick. Because he is a secret dog lover. I mean you can't have a real conversation with someone that is guilty of kissing dogs. (And this explanation of why the Secret Chiefs did not show up might not be the most silly one that results from this challenge...if you see a sillier one, please post the link in the comment section for my readers to amuse themselves with.) Seriously, my cats are too lazy to go prove to Nick Farrell that they are also his superiors; besides his head would explode being in the presence of so much cuteness.

Now, seriously, seriously, the problem is that Nick Farrell wants what he considers true independent verification of the existence of the Secret Chiefs. Independent as in not coming directly from the mouth of a gatekeeper, or from the people that the gatekeeper has blessed with their teachings.

The closest that Nick is ever going to get on that front is one gatekeeper declaring another gatekeeper a villain, and electing themselves as the one true gatekeeper to the Secret Chiefs.

This is the closest we ever got of independent proof of their existence.

Go though the historical records of the Secret Chiefs, including the primary documents being generated by the current round of gatekeepers and supporters, and all that you will find is declarations by gatekeepers that they are the one true link to the Secret Chiefs, advertising endorsements by their followers, symbolic and un-provable theories about why the Secret Chiefs only reveal themselves to the gatekeepers, declarations that other gatekeepers are frauds and liars and that the accuser is the only true gatekeeper (or at least, their close personal friend), and attempts to use the idea of the Secret Chiefs and connections to them as a means to control members of esoteric societies.

We would be better off if the whole lot of them just sat down and played a game of Magic the Gathering to figure out who was the gatekeeper of the hour was.

As for instruction being proof, that requires an element of faith even if the material is completely new and unknown. I have seen too many con-artists use the Secret Chiefs and secret knowledge as proof, and then use this proof to justify the mistreatment of the membership of their groups. I have in the past been presented with "new" information to prove the Secret Chiefs, only to later discover the same information in a relatively unknown document.

Of course, that type of experience is why even if the Secret Chiefs (in human or astral form) showed up on my doorstep, I would not believe and trust their information and stories completely. Basically, I am a happy little cynic that mistrusts everyone to a lesser or greater extent.


Of course, when I think of dueling, I think Magic the Gathering.

[Update--July 25 2013: Interesting note about the picture in the middle--the official statement (by DG) is that Jean Pascal Ruggui made the statement in error (and removed his statement at the request of the Secret Chiefs...it took them a month to make the request, I guess), and at the time one of the Secret Chiefs was living at Griffin's house transmitting the supplemental traditional Golden Dawn teachings and magic, of which the 0=0 level was transmitted at the April 2013 International Golden Dawn Festival. The Secret Chief had spent four months at Griffin's house doing this work. Griffin was unable to admit this openly until July 25, 2013 when the Secret Chief left for Europe. What is most interesting about this statement is the fact that one of the Secret Chiefs was in the United States, living with Griffin at the time of the conference and no one met them other than Griffin and his wife. I guess that is why Hathoor Temple used to say that a Secret Chief could even be a Neophyte (because you think that the other attendees would have figured out that the person was a Secret Chief if they did not come across as a complete knee-biting Neophyte). I also guess that Secret Chiefs are immune to assassination and death because we all know that Griffin had numerous death threats in the last year, and quite frankly the thought of living with him and his wife for four months gives me a bad case of the screaming willies.]

Only actual customers can effectively boycott a product

Yes, we are talking about this book again.

One of the things that has cropped up since Commentaries on the Golden Dawn Flying Rolls by the Golden Dawn Community has been published are people declaring that they refuse to buy a copy of this book because 1) they believe that the writers of the commentaries are not actually members of the real Golden Dawn community (aka HOGD/AO) and 2) because all the authors' royalties are going to the Golden Dawn Legal Defense Fund.

My personal response to this is still the same as the response that I had last year when I was asked if I wanted to write a commentary to one of the original Flying Rolls--I seriously doubt that anyone who will get upset by this book are potential customers of mine in the first place.

In other words, screaming boycott at me does not work if I believe that you would never buy one of my products even if I did give into your demands.

Plus, there is the little fact that I don't make a dime off of this book. Ever. Unless I include my commentary in a collection alongside other writing that I have done. Which I am quite sure that none of the boycotters would ever buy in the first place.

So where is the effect on my wallet?! I don't see one.

And if you actually think that you can scare off my potential customers, well good for you. Most of my potential customers don't even know who the HOGD/AO is. (Oh, I write occult stuff because I want to--my bread and butter writing is something completely different.)

As for the accusations that the HOGD/AO was locked out, I am surprised because I thought Christopher Bradford (Frater AIT) was a member of the HOGD/AO community. I guess once you leave the HOGD/AO, you are considered an outlaw because otherwise he would count as a HOGD/AO community member. It is too bad that he is no longer considered a member of the Golden Dawn community by HOGD/AO standards because he was the only member of the HOGD/AO that I actually liked.

By the way, having one of your high level members tell me last year that it was ok for my reputation to be destroyed because I wasn't a member of the HOGD/AO is not a way to endear me to your cause. Watching you set out to destroy the reputations of every GD writer outside the HOGD/AO also makes me loathe your cause.

As for the Legal Defense Fund, that is only a problem if you plan on going back to court. Are you planning on resuming the trademark lawsuit?! As I said in my quick video review of the book, you don't have to buy the book.

And if you are really upset by the fact that this book was written by a false GD community, put together your own project and publish it. Oh, wait you can't do that because you insist that everything important must remain secret and under the care of your entrusted gate keeper. Well, I guess you will just have to settle for the rest of us pretending to be a part of the GD community then.

So in closing, good luck with your protest comrades!